Why Change Can Be Uncomfortable And Painful At Times

In this talk I help you to understand why change can be uncomfortable and painful at times. Change comes into our life for many reasons - sometimes we choose to change something, sometimes it's through a healing crisis, and other times it's thrust on us by external circumstance. Whatever the reason, when we understand the process of change more deeply, it can help us navigate those times with greater awareness.

Transcript

Hello and welcome.

In this video I'd like to talk about change.

This is an important topic because all of us,

At various points in our life,

Are going to go through change.

Now change can come into our life for a variety of reasons.

Maybe you choose to change something in your life or within yourself.

Maybe it comes through illness or injury.

Or maybe it's imposed on you by external circumstance beyond your control.

Regardless of the reason,

Change can be challenging.

It can also bring a deep sense of freedom.

But for the context of this video,

I'm going to talk about why change can feel challenging,

Uncomfortable and painful at times.

Now my goal for this video is to help you understand,

In simple terms,

What's happening inside you during the process of change.

So you can put your experiences into context so that ultimately you can grow.

Now remember,

Growing is changing.

There is no growth without change.

So if you do find yourself struggling with change at the moment,

Then try to think of it as an opportunity to grow.

Now I know it may not feel like that at the moment for you,

But change is here.

And how well we move through change can vary greatly depending on how well we understand it.

Alright,

So why does change feel uncomfortable?

Well,

Change can feel uncomfortable because it feels like dying.

So what do I mean by dying?

Well of course you're not dying physically.

What's dying is your sense of self,

That familiar sense of you,

How you know yourself.

But what makes up your sense of self?

Well your thoughts,

The way you think,

Your emotions,

The stories and the dramas that continually run through your mind,

Your reactions,

Your traumas,

Your fears and insecurities,

Your beliefs and attitudes,

Your conditioning from your parents,

From society,

From your own life experience.

And then we have the habits and daily routines like work,

Going to a yoga class or to the gym,

Your home,

The things you surround yourself with,

The work that you do,

Your career,

The income that you're used to making and the way you interact with people or the people you surround yourself with,

The social interactions,

Family,

Friends,

Social or work.

Now the list could go on and on but I hope you get the idea.

But all these familiar references contribute to your sense of self.

They all create this familiar sense of being and this is normal.

We all have a sense of self.

But in the context of change,

When we're too identified with a sense of self,

Then when change comes,

It feels like dying.

It's important to understand that through change and this shifting sense of self,

You may be experiencing a lot more emotional turbulence.

See your old familiar sense of self was like a container.

You had a certain relationship to your emotions.

Some of them you allowed yourself to feel and others you didn't.

So now without your familiar sense of self,

Familiar container to hold them,

Then you may be experiencing emotions quite differently.

Some of them may feel quite new to you or maybe it's just you're feeling emotions but in a more intense way than you're used to.

It's not that they weren't there before,

It's just now you're feeling them because they're not contained like they were before.

Now if you are experiencing something like this,

I want you to know this is normal and you're definitely not alone in experiencing it.

It's a natural part of the human experience,

Change.

And you don't have to judge yourself for how you feel or if you're not adapting to change like someone else.

Your experience is your experience.

Now understanding this doesn't necessarily mean that suddenly change is going to be pleasant.

Maybe it will.

But it does mean that you can understand what's happening inside you to put your experiences into context.

Because often when we experience something that we don't understand,

It feels much worse.

It's like a fear of the unknown.

But with understanding,

Some part of us can let go because we understand it as part of a process.

So if you are challenged by change at the moment,

Then remember change is an opportunity to grow.

To grow,

We have to change.

And yes,

Change sometimes happens at unexpected times,

But that's the nature of change.

It's unpredictable.

Now as you move through change,

Don't feel like you've got to feel excess time with something just to feel a void or distract you from discomfort.

This is a precious time that you can learn a lot about yourself.

So apply the things I share in this video.

Allow yourself to feel what you feel.

Acknowledge and recognize the things that you used to rest on,

The familiar references,

The way you think,

Or the things you used to do,

Your habits and routines.

Those familiar references that gave you a sense of self.

Because now,

Without your familiar sense of self,

Who are you?

Who are you beyond your attachments and familiar references?

Now this is not a trivial question.

This is a question that sages,

Mystics and spiritual aspirants have been asking themselves for thousands of years.

Who am I?

So they take on this path of awakening from the inside by questioning who they are.

They question all of their familiar references and attachments to awaken to something inside.

So it's a natural part of their process,

Questioning who they are.

And they do that consciously.

But for you,

If you've been challenged by change,

Maybe from external circumstances like COVID-19,

Maybe it's an illness or a breakup of a long-term relationship,

You may have also arrived at this point of questioning who you are.

Because your familiar sense of self is gone.

And this is normal.

It's a natural part of the human experience.

And there's a natural aspiration to understand who we are in this existence.

Now growing means letting go of the old to become something new.

Or rather to let go of the shell,

False identifications and allow something more,

More real to emerge from inside.

Now sometimes it can be scary,

Disorientating and uncomfortable.

But this is part of change.

Alright,

So what can you do when you're faced with change?

Reach out and connect.

Reach out and connect.

Reach out and talk to your family and friends.

Often when we're challenged with intense times of change and we're emotionally turbulent,

We feel isolated and alone.

That's what emotions can do to us.

But change is a really good time to connect.

So talk to your family and your friends.

Tell them how you feel.

And you might be surprised to learn that they also have been through things very similar.

They might even be going through things,

Change,

Intense change like you are now.

And your sharing can help to connect with them in a way that they open up and share how they're feeling with you.

So you can support each other.

So your sharing and your talking can be a giving.

And giving puts us in touch with a part of us beyond our attachments.

It's a giving and a connecting from our heart.

Alright,

What else is good when you're going through change is take time for quiet and stillness.

Change is a time to go inwards,

To turn inside ourself.

And for this,

Meditation is a powerful practice.

And there's a really good reason why sages and mystics use meditation.

Because it's a practice that helps us let go of attachments.

Let go of familiar references of thoughts,

Emotions,

And the patterns that give us our familiar sense of self.

Meditation is a practice that teaches us how to quiet our busy mind and find stillness inside.

Because finding stillness inside during times of turbulent change is priceless.

It helps us connect to the wisdom of our heart.

Now this video is not about teaching you how to meditate.

But if you are interested,

I have various resources on my website,

Peacekeeperproject.

Com.

Both free and paid,

From introductory to more comprehensive.

So please take some time to check that out and see what resonates with you.

Alright,

So that's it for this video.

Thank you for being here,

I appreciate your presence.

Now if you found this beneficial,

I'd appreciate if you could share it.

Because there are a lot of other people out there going through change that could use this information now to understand themselves as they go through change.

And remember,

Sharing is a giving.

Alright until next time,

Keep growing,

Find stillness,

And together let's make the world a more peaceful and connected place.

Reviews

Wow. Thank you so much. This was very supportive and helpful. Thank you so much teacher

Great talk on rolling with change in the most powerful way. Thank you. Namaste 🙏