Pitfalls On Your Path Towards Growth

Part 4 of my 'Alchemy Of Self' audio series.

The insights within this audio can help gain an awareness of the most common challenges and obstacles you could potentially face on your journey towards personal and spiritual growth. You will also learn about why they affect you, how they can manifest in your life, and what you can do to rise above these pitfalls on your path.

Transcript

Throughout this series on personal mastery,

We've discussed the importance and impact that the four inner kingdoms have to create and manifest our physical reality.

We've also discussed habits,

Routines and rituals and by how cultivating them,

We not only enhance our ability to build up our inner world,

But we enhance our ability to create a thriving and lasting personal mastery practice.

We've also discussed intuition and instinct and the power it gives us when we turn inward and listen to that still,

Small voice within.

And in our final conversation of this mastery series,

I'll be sharing with you some of the most common pitfalls that you could potentially face on your path of personal mastery.

But before we get into those pitfalls,

I'd like to speak to you first about homeostasis.

So you decide to make a change for the better in your life.

You write down your goals and your visions and you're all excited and you're ready to go.

You actually start making some changes.

You start feeling better.

You're happy about it.

You tell your friends,

Family and they're happy about it.

Life is really good.

But then you slip up and you fall off track and you revert back to some of those old patterns and behaviors that you tried so hard to change.

So what happened?

Were you not disciplined enough?

Did you have no willpower or was this personal mastery thing just not for you?

Well,

Not exactly.

You see,

As humans,

We have this built in tendency to stay the same to some degree.

And when we attempt to make a significant change,

That tendency is to snap back away from that change.

A really great example of this is how the body regulates our temperature and homeostasis,

Whether it's in the body,

The behavior or the brain is the tendency to move toward a relatively stable equilibrium and resist everything that pulls us away from that equilibrium.

But here's the downside.

Even though homeostasis works really,

Really well at keeping things the way that they are,

It will still do this,

Even when that thing is no longer good for us.

I remember some years when I was still playing and I would be injured going into the off season and I would miss maybe eight to 12 weeks of being able to train.

So I was pretty much sedentary for a few months.

And that first workout back would always be horrible.

I mean,

My heart would be beating so fast.

My chest would be on fire.

I'd be dizzy.

My ears would be ringing.

My legs feeling like they were about to just about to fall off.

And I literally thought that I was going to pass out because like once I was able to start working out again,

I wanted to make up for the entire time that I had missed.

So I would go extremely hard.

And like I said,

I felt like I was going to pass out,

But I knew that I wasn't.

But my body didn't know what was going on.

And all of those signs that my body was showing me,

It was homeostasis warning me of those significant changes that I was putting myself through and whatever I was doing,

I needed to stop right away because homeostasis,

It didn't know the difference between a change that was for my highest good or change that was for the worst.

It just knew that my body had been sedentary for a certain amount of time.

And that was my new normal.

And now,

By doing something that threatens this new normal,

Like intense exercise,

It had to snap me back to that sedentary state.

So how do we make changes for the better,

Easier?

And how do we make them last?

Well,

In George Lerner's book on mastery,

He gave us a few ways of how we could do so.

And one of those ways was becoming aware of what homeostasis is and how it works.

Now,

The small example I just gave you is one way that you could possibly face resistance within your body.

But in his book,

He gave really good examples of how you could face resistance in your environment by saying that if you're someone who usually struggles to get out of bed in the morning,

And you're really sluggish,

You usually have to drag yourself pretty much everywhere.

When you get on a path of mastery,

All of a sudden,

You're up at 6am for a three mile run,

And you're charged with all this fantastic and electric energy by 830am,

You would think that your family,

Friends and co workers would be ecstatic for you for all these positive changes that you're making.

But don't be too sure.

Because keep in mind,

When any part of a system changes,

The entire system has to change as well.

So don't be surprised if your loved ones covertly or overtly undermine your self improvement.

It's not that they necessarily mean you harm.

It's just homeostasis at work.

Now,

Some ideas that he gave about how you could overcome homeostasis was to build a support system.

And yes,

You can walk this path of mastery alone.

But it helps a whole lot more to have other people that you can share in with your highs and lows who can also get on this path of mastery with you.

They can support you and lift you up when you fall down and they can cheer you on when you're thriving.

But even if your path is a solo path,

And you don't have anyone to get on it with you,

At least you can let those in your inner circle know what you're doing and ask them for their support.

So now that we talked a little bit about homeostasis,

Let's dive in to those pitfalls.

Now the pitfalls that I'm going to share with you,

These are obviously not all the pitfalls that you could possibly face.

However,

From my own personal experience,

And from the nature of what I've studied,

These are the most common ones that could await you on the path of personal mastery.

Now keep in mind,

All those who walk this path of mastery will face these pitfalls at one point in time to a certain degree.

But it will tend to be one or two of these that consistently show up more often in your life.

Now the first pitfall that I'd like to share with you is the pitfall of ambition.

Now in our world today,

Most of us have that desire for quick and instantaneous gratification.

And there's nothing wrong with having that desire for ambition,

Because it's what drives the world forward.

It's what drives the world to be what we know today,

But when we move toward these goals so quickly that we skip over details or we miss steps,

That's when we can get into problems.

See all things have a divine plan and a divine timing to them.

And that divine plan is created through the flow of energy,

The inflow and outflow,

Similar to the tides of the ocean.

And when we attempt to move and push so fast,

When it's not in accordance with the divine time,

When it's not in accordance with the divine plan,

We move against the energy that can potentially support our goals.

And when we do so,

We end up shooting ourselves in the foot,

While creating what seems to be our own failure.

Sometimes that drive for ambition,

It stems from an underlining feeling of fear or wanting to achieve a sense of significance.

But when we're able to transcend that drive for ambition,

We're gifted with the awareness that all of our manifested experiences serve the purpose of our highest good.

Our focus becomes less on rushing and pushing against that current and more on expanding and growing each step along the way.

The next pitfall I'd like to share with you is the pitfall of over seriousness.

A while ago,

I had a conversation with a friend of mine who was talking about some of our experiences from high school.

And he reminded me of how I was this goofy kid who used to laugh all the time,

Crack jokes.

And as he was speaking to me,

It made me realize that somewhere along the line of my mastery journey,

I had lost sight of that kid.

You see,

I held the belief that because I was on this path,

Gaining all of this understanding,

I had to always be so serious.

I had to always be so focused and obsessed with self-development and improvement.

And I believe that I,

In a sense,

Had to be kind of like a stoic because of what I had studied and what I had read about the great philosophers and spiritual teachers and all of these great people throughout history who themselves were on a path of self mastery.

And what I had to learn was that even though I wanted to embody those principles,

Even though I wanted to live by the knowledge that I was learning,

It was OK for me to still be that kid who had that great sense of humor,

Who brought that sense of lightness and laughter,

Fun and joking with me wherever I went.

It was OK to laugh at myself because without laughter on this path of personal mastery,

Sometimes the experiences that we may face can be very difficult for us to bear.

And I realized that it wasn't about letting go of what I was to embody something more.

It was about taking that knowledge,

Taking that understanding that I was learning and adding it to that which I already was to evolve into a more beautiful and authentic me.

The next pitfall I'd like to share with you is the pitfall of perfectionism.

Now,

This is one pitfall that I consistently fall into because it does go hand in hand for me with over seriousness.

Now,

In my heart of hearts,

I am a perfectionist.

It is a gift that allows me to seek the highest expression and quality in whatever project that I'm creating.

However,

The dark side to this gift is that I can be extremely self-critical and focus a lot of time and energy on comparing myself to others.

Does this happen to you at times?

Well,

Even without comparing ourselves to the world's greatest performers,

Leaders and those we admire,

Falling into that pitfall of perfection,

You can still set these ridiculously high standards for yourself that you may never be able to reach.

And when we do so,

We set ourselves up for disappointment because mastery is not about perfection.

It's about a journey of progress every single day,

Every week,

Every month,

Every year,

Having that spirit and willingness to say,

No matter how many times you get knocked down,

No matter how many times you may stray from the path,

You'll always keep coming back,

Moving forward for as long as you possibly can.

Now,

The next pitfall that you could potentially face is the pitfall of a balance or a lack thereof.

Now,

Let's go back to the first conversation about the four inner kingdoms.

And when you choose to solely focus on one or two of those kingdoms or one or two of those areas of your life to improve,

You will consistently be presented with situations and experiences that call your attention to your lack of balance.

Let me ask you something.

Have you ever met someone and when you meet them,

You know that they work out all the time because their upper body is jacked,

Right?

But the lower body,

The lower body looks like toothpick legs,

And that's not a good look.

And it's very clear that they focus on one area to the neglect and detriment of another area.

And that's not how we want to show up in our mastery practice.

We want to develop the awareness.

So as we're striving to improve,

We're improving all areas of our lives,

Not only because it will make us a better person,

But in those moments that we find ourselves neglecting certain areas of our life,

We can use that awareness to efficiently give it the proper attention that it needs.

Now,

The next pitfall is the pitfall of hoarding.

Now,

When I say hoarding,

I don't mean in the sense of physical hoarding,

Like you're hoarding material positions or something like that,

Even though that's not OK.

But I mean it in the sense of those who feel that they deserve to have more than others because they are more worthy than others.

But there is a flip side to this.

And it's those who believe that they actually need to have less than they do because they believe poverty is a part of the mastery path.

Now,

In terms of personal mastery,

Those who hoard because they feel that they deserve more,

They often hoard knowledge,

Wisdom and expertise that they've gained.

They have this sense of fear that if they give this freely or if they share with the world openly,

That someone will gain this knowledge and become better than them.

Or someone will come in contact with this wisdom and be able to do more than that person is able to do.

And on the other side of that are those who feel that they must deprive themselves of the things that feed their soul because of a belief that they hold that having less will allow them to gain more personal and spiritual mastery.

But remember this.

We give and receive through the same doorway.

And it has to always be balanced because balanced giving and receiving has a flow to it,

Just like the tides of the ocean.

I'd like to share something with you that I read once.

It says this instant manifestation requires that giving and receiving the imbalance before such magic can become real in one's life experience.

The closer one comes to instant manifestation,

The more rapidly one gives and receives.

And the more rapidly one gives and receives,

The closer one moves to instant manifestation.

Now the insight that I gained from this is that hoarding and deprivation are two sides of the same coin.

You must be willing to give freely in order to receive freely those wonders of the world.

But we also must be able to receive freely if you want to have anything to give back into the world.

Now the last pitfall that I'd like to share with you is what's called the arrogance of knowing it all.

And those who suffer from the arrogance of knowing it all,

It usually occurs in one or two ways.

The first way is when someone believes that they already know all there is to know.

They have all the wisdom,

All the knowledge.

So therefore,

They don't need to continue growing and evolving.

And on the other side of this is someone who believes that they don't know enough,

So they seek out someone who knows it all.

An example of this is like a spiritual guru who inherently believes that they know more than their followers do.

And when they fall into this trap,

They no longer seek to gain any wisdom,

To gain any knowledge,

Because they believe that they've already gained everything that there is to gain.

And so they no longer seek to grow on this path of mastery,

Because they feel they've acquired all there is to acquire.

And in that case,

They cease to grow.

And in the case of the follower or disciple,

They believe that they don't know as much and they truly believe that this guru knows it all.

So they begin to live the guru's truth.

And they also cease to grow.

But let me share this with you.

Real truth only comes from within.

And the thing about inner truth is that it's unique to each individual.

My truth will never be your truth,

And your truth will never be mine.

Only you will know what your unique truth is.

And the way that you do this is by aligning with and connecting to your intuition,

Your instinct,

That infinite spirit that is within you.

That is within all of us.

And when we recognize this more fully,

We will no longer seek the teacher that lives without,

But the master that lives within.

And it is there that we find our unique truth.

Now before I wrap up this mastery series,

I have a gift for you.

And that is self-examination and reflection.

Not only does self-examination provide us with the awareness to recognize those patterns that empower us and propel us to move forward,

It also allows us to see the patterns that need to be transcended within our lives so that we can move more closely to a higher consciousness and the spirit of unconditional love.

But I read once that life is holographic.

Any outer creation is a reflection of an inner pattern.

And as that inner pattern is released,

One's related experiences of life along with their creation changes.

And that means this.

All of those outer manifestations that we view to be disharmonious,

They're just a reflection of the disharmony that lies within us.

See,

We can't really change the negative circumstances just by solely attempting to change something that's outside of ourselves.

When we attempt to do so and change only the outer circumstance without doing any work to transcend or release an inner pattern that's underlining,

We only allow for that same experience to manifest again in the future.

And when it does manifest again in the future,

It will be twice as worse,

Three times as bad.

Do you understand what I mean by that?

Let me give you an example from my personal life.

For most of my life,

My romantic relationships were pretty unhealthy.

Or in some cases,

They were downright toxic.

Now,

I would always attempt to try to change the outer circumstance.

And after trying various things that never seem to work,

I would eventually leave that relationship or I would be the one getting left.

And the universe would allow these relationships to continually be created because it was reflecting back to me something that I needed to work on within myself,

But something that I was not paying attention to.

And as I begin to work more deeply on myself,

I started to recognize those patterns and mindsets and behaviors that were allowing those patterns to play out.

Now,

Since I've done this work,

I haven't entered into another relationship,

So I don't have some success story or happy ending.

But what I can tell you is that when the time comes,

The type of partner and lover that I will show up as,

The kind of relationship that I will be able to create from my perspective will be much,

Much healthier and more positive than the ones that I've had in the past.

And I think we're all familiar with how a mirror works.

And our experience of life is like a mirror.

See,

We can either look into that mirror and be upset with or blame that mirror for reflecting back to us that which we don't like,

Or we can look in that mirror and see that which we don't like and work as hard as we can on ourselves to transcend those patterns so that we don't ever have to create those reflections again going forward.

And as we take responsibility for what's being reflected into that mirror,

We gain a sense of understanding.

And in that understanding,

We gain a sense of inner power that can push us forward on this path,

Personal mastery.

Just breathe that in for a moment.

I love being immersed in all things that challenge me to grow,

Expand,

And evolve.

And I'm so grateful that you pause for a few moments and you shared that love with me.

I hope that throughout our conversations in this personal mastery series that I've been able to provide you with impact,

Inspiration and insight.

And most importantly,

I hope that I have been able to add value to you on your personal mastery journey.

If anything you've heard in these conversations resonates,

Take it with you.

And if it doesn't,

Just leave it be.

And as always,

Be well,

Be safe,

And be blessed.

I am Bracey R.

Monwright,

And this is House of Insights.

Reviews

Excellent

Very insightful. I like the background music and visual expression on your post 😎

Another WONDERFULLY INSIGHTFUL and INSPIRING Talk❣️
Love listening to your gentle voice as it shares your personal WISDOM.😊🙏🏻💕