On Combat - With A Difference

In this talk (with a difference), we explore how combat could be understood in a way that can be used to facilitate healing and the right for all veterans to live healthy and productive lives. We will explore how the experience of combat can be seen as contributing to a positive life grounded in the wisdom, learning, and experience found in that place called war.

Transcript

Hi there,

My name is Barry Zwaristine and you are listening to the Post-Military Transitioning Challenges talks.

I am a combat veteran,

Psychologist and author with over 20 years of sitting with veterans and current serving.

The PMTC talks can support you to achieve a successful navigation into civilian territory.

The core mission of my talks is that no veteran should ever have to come home to die.

Hi and thanks for taking time to connect with me.

Wherever you currently are,

I hope that life is treating you well and that these talks are in some way contributing positively to how you are managing your transition process.

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Today,

I want to talk about combat,

But I'm going to try and do this in a different way.

You know,

With a talk,

You tend to listen just with the thinking part of your brain,

The front part of your brain.

But I thought I would try and put the talk to some music.

So it's that mix between a mindful based experience plus the talk.

And maybe this would have an impact on you being able to listen and feel rather than listen and think.

Now,

You know,

I'd love to get some feedback from all of you as to whether this is useful or not.

And really,

If you don't feel it's useful,

Please be honest.

It just helps me in terms of progressing forward and creating experiences that allow you all to just feel,

Think and create the change you need to create in order to move forward with the better parts of who you are.

Okay.

So what I'd like you to do is try and sit somewhere comfortably.

If you're sitting down,

What I'd like you to do now is we're just going to do a gentle round of box breathing.

So you may have had a busy day.

You may feel all the stress and the chaos in your body.

And what we're going to do now is just slowly ground you in your body and get you ready to really listen and feel the stork on combat.

Just sit back now,

Close your eyes and just listen.

So take a deep breath in and just release.

Okay.

Now I want you to breathe in for five.

Breathe in two,

Three,

Four,

Five.

Hold two,

Three,

Four,

Five out two,

Three,

Four,

Five.

Hold two,

Three,

Four,

Five.

Now take a deep breath in and just release the day.

Okay.

Signing as a soldier and being involved in combat,

No doubt can be traumatic and can have far reaching effects on one's living situation,

Relationships,

Mental state and wellbeing.

It's possible though that to see war and to think about combat from only the point of view of an experience that has resulted in PTS may be to ignore other less spoken about aspects of this experience that could be used to facilitate healing and the ability and right for you all to live healthy and productive lives.

What about the intensity of combat?

That living on edge in the presence of others and the intimate reliance on others?

It's that feeling of being alive,

The high of the hunt,

The power of the warrior within,

The knowing where you are,

The location in a community and the camaraderie.

It's about a level of meaning and experience that can leave you yearning for a lifetime afterwards in what many veterans often experience as the humdrum routine of civilian life and the daily routine and predictable pattern of work.

Many veterans I have spoken to have yearned for the time when they truly felt like soldiers,

When the intensely close and intimate connectedness with their fellow soldiers that had bonded through the blood right of combat could almost transcend the intimacy of their marital relationships.

It's not just about trauma and stress,

But also about loss and grief and the difficulty of finding meaning in a different,

Less intense world.

Therefore to heal is to acknowledge this loss and grief at many levels.

It's about understanding that the seductive intensity of combat with its unique sounds and smells does not need to leave you feeling lost,

Bereft and dislocated.

It's about understanding that the memory of the thrill of the hunt,

The contact and the long days of hyper alert patrolling do not mean that you are maladjusted.

It's about the acceptance of these feelings without guilt.

It's about recreating new and constructive challenges in civilian life.

These can be challenges such as maintaining personal fitness and wellbeing,

Taking up a sport or setting goals that can extend you and bring you back into the presence of others.

Things like running a marathon,

Walking for charity,

Swimming and the like.

The edge,

That feeling of being authentically alive,

Of being challenged and of being with others is not the sole right of war.

Part of combat training is about being taught how to kill.

It's about being rewired for life in a way that is counter to being human in an institution that sanctions the need for aggression and the ability to take life.

You need to make your peace with this rewiring with the deep and often shameful awareness that 40 years later,

As a husband and father or wife and mother,

There is still the sense of that part of yourself that is capable of the unspeakable.

Healing is not about burying or forgetting this.

It's about allowing you to acknowledge,

Own and respect this part of yourself.

You can use many of the lessons of war and combat to move forward in your civilian journey.

Healing is about helping you to draw on your strengths and the constructive lessons of soldiering.

Life and relationships are very much like a patrol.

You need to think about where you are going and what you will need in the days ahead.

You need to plan and ensure that you will work as a team.

You need to listen and when you are lost or uncertain,

Look at your map.

You need to pace yourself and when under significant levels of stress,

Draw on your reserves and tap into supplies of resilience.

You need to trust and care for those around you.

You need to exercise judgment.

The qualities of planning,

Listening,

Preparation,

Consultation,

Care,

Respect,

Resilience,

Effort and trust are the foundations of being human.

War need not just be an experience relegated to the psychiatric or counseling encounter.

It need not be just traumatic and stressful.

Yes,

It can be all of these.

Still,

The soldier never dies.

Memorial gatherings will live on as soldiers continue to gather,

Grieve,

Connect and walk the road of memory.

Worrying is about embracing the soldier,

Re-finding your warrior in the present and drawing on the positive aspects from your past,

Who you were and who you still are.

It's about remembering that as veterans,

You can still stand tall.

It's also about acknowledging your grief,

Your guilt,

Your loss and perhaps your shame.

Combat need not just be the end of a good life,

But the beginning of an even better life firmly grounded in the wisdom,

Learning and experience found in that place called war.

Military transitioning demands an effective operation forward towards civilian territory.

It demands planning,

Situational awareness,

Effective arcs of fire,

The ability to understand the nature of your territory and the necessity for you to adjust and adapt as needed.

As important is the rescue mission back to collect your warrior,

You cannot leave yourself behind.

This mission has two directives.

The first is to bring your positive values and attributes back to your civilian.

The second is to attend to any wounds and do what needs to be done to heal.

So as you all manage to navigate your way through your transitioning territory,

I wish you all the journey of healing,

Embracing your identity and finding your place and purpose.

Remember,

Do not let others define you.

Stand firm within yourself.

Stay faithful to your tribe,

Your brothers and sisters.

And most of all,

Each and every day,

Watch out for each other.

Thank you for listening to this and we will meet again next time.

Bye.