Each of us can and should wrestle with the question of the meaning of life.
Why am I here?
What is this all about?
Whether we're choosing our day's priorities or finding a career path,
Whether we're deciding the values by which we're going to raise children,
Or even how much to save for retirement,
Surely we have to come back to the question of why.
I've landed on the answer of flourishing.
We are here to find the flourishing life,
And to help others find flourishing.
In my Christian tradition,
We refer to this as the abundant life.
According to John chapter 10 verse 10,
Jesus said I came so that they might have life and have it abundantly.
The abundant life.
The flourishing life.
Thriving.
This,
I believe,
Is what it's all about.
And in the domain of positive psychology,
They've identified five components to flourishing.
Positive emotion or happiness.
Engagement or flow,
Like when we can lose ourself in something.
Relationships.
Meaning or purpose.
And achievement.
It follows the handy moniker of PERMA.
Positive emotion.
Engagement.
Relationships.
Meaning and achievement.
I believe these are universal,
And I find the evidence compelling.
Each of us is to find the flourishing life,
And to help others flourish in their life.
And that comes down to these five criteria.
And although those are universal,
I believe there are some differences between men flourishing and women flourishing.
There is an extra layer to flourishing that is necessary for men.
That extra layer depends on nurturing our masculinity.
I believe each of us has some combination of masculine and feminine,
Kind of like the left and right speakers on the sound system.
We're treble and bass.
And when there is too little masculinity,
It doesn't quite sound right.
When there's too little femininity,
It might not sound right.
So each of us has a balance of the masculine and the feminine.
For men to flourish,
We need to nourish our masculinity.
And masculinity comes down to four virtues.
Strength.
Courage.
Honor.
And ambition.
Not only do men need to find positive emotion,
Engagement,
Relationships,
Meaning and achievement,
The five components of flourishing,
But these are complemented by and enabled when we nourish our strength,
Our courage,
Our honor,
And our ambition.
The path to nurturing these virtues of masculinity,
Strength,
Courage,
Honor,
And ambition,
Begins with recognizing when we have demonstrated them in the past.
So,
Let's shift our attention to recognizing when we have demonstrated those in the past.
Strength.
Strength is physical,
Emotional,
And spiritual.
And the simplest,
Though not the easiest,
But the simplest is physical strength.
Consider a time when you felt physically strong.
What were the circumstances that led to that experience?
With your awareness fully now in that recollection of a previous time when you felt physically strong,
What are the sensations in your body in this moment?
What are the emotions that arise for you as you recall a time of physical strength?
And who benefited from your physical strength?
Your physical strength is a virtue.
And giving attention to that virtue is helpful for you and for others.
Consider now a time when you demonstrated courage.
When did you show courage?
As you now consider back to a time when you demonstrated courage,
What are the sensations in your body?
What emotions arise for you now as you consider back to a time of courage?
Who benefited from you demonstrating courage?
Your courage is a virtue,
Worthy of your attention.
Now consider a time when you demonstrated honor.
I think of honor as a virtue that allows others to think of you with a degree of pride,
Such as your parents being proud of you for something you did or for a way you behaved.
Or perhaps a time when your community,
Maybe your church,
Was or would be proud of you.
Honor is that which allows us to say,
Would this make my community proud?
And then behave accordingly.
So when did you demonstrate honor?
What sensations arise for you now when you recall a time of having demonstrated honor?
Or when you behaved honorably?
What feelings arise for you as you consider a time of honor?
Who benefited from you behaving honorably?
Your honor is a virtue,
And you should feed it.
And how about ambition?
When did you demonstrate ambition?
Maybe you set a goal and worked hard,
Dedicated resources,
Your time,
Your energy,
Perhaps money,
Toward fulfilling that goal.
Whether you achieved that goal is somewhat irrelevant in this case.
The point is having demonstrated ambition.
What sensations do you notice in your body as you consider a time of ambition?
What are the feelings you notice when you recall a time when you showed ambition?
And who benefited from your ambition?
Your ambition is a virtue.
Nourish it.
Strength,
Courage,
Honor,
And ambition.
The marks of masculinity.
There is no such thing as too much strength.
There is no such thing as too much courage,
Or honor,
Or ambition.
There is such thing as a lack of the moderating virtues.
Strength needs to be moderated by self-awareness.
When we're not aware of what's going on,
Sometimes our strength can get out of control.
Our courage needs to be moderated by wisdom.
Sometimes it becomes reckless or foolish.
Our honor needs to be moderated by humility.
Without humility,
Our honor becomes pridefulness and self-serving or self-aggrandizing.
Ambition needs to be moderated by compassion.
It's worthwhile striving to get to the top.
But a lack of compassion might lead us to tread on other people to get to the top.
Strength,
Moderated by self-awareness.
Courage,
Moderated by wisdom.
Honor,
Moderated by humility.
And ambition,
Moderated by compassion.
These are the marks of masculinity that need to be nourished so that men can find the flourishing life.
The abundant life.
My hope and prayer is that you will nurture the masculine virtues.
And pursue flourishing.
And help others to flourish in their lives too.
Until next time,
My name is Greg.
May you know peace.
