How To Overcome Guilt, Shame And Making Mistakes

In this audio, Michael discusses the profound healing and transformation of overcoming guilt, shame and making mistakes. He offers a deep and compassionate perspective, and supports you in freeing yourself from these depleting emotions and actions. Give yourself the loving gift of listening.

Transcript

So how to overcome guilt and shame and stop making mistakes.

So have you ever done something and then later on said to yourself,

Why the hell did I do that?

What is wrong with me?

Well,

In this session,

You're gonna learn why we make these mistakes,

Especially the same sort of mistakes over and over again,

How to overcome the guilt and shame around them and how to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.

Okay,

Because otherwise in life,

We end up doing the same silly things again and again and again,

And we ruin our own lives.

So first of all,

I just want to mention that I personally have made loads of ridiculous mistakes in my life.

I'm not free of having made any mistakes.

I've made mistakes in relationships,

In business,

In money,

In the things that I've eaten and drank,

I've wasted my time on things that really didn't lead to much benefit and all sorts of stuff.

Luckily,

Despite those things,

I still came out pretty good because I learned from them.

But nonetheless,

There's been plenty of mistakes.

And I have to pay very close attention to these same things I'm sharing with you right now.

And when I was a teenager,

I used to go out and drink 10 pints on a Friday night,

10 pints of beer.

And I thought that that was a wonderful idea to get out,

Get your 10 pints in.

It was called a pub crawl.

We would go to as many pubs as we could have a pint at each pub.

And then I would come home and after having eaten crappy food and drunk way too much beer,

And I oftentimes would end up lying down in my back garden spinning around because if you after I've smoked some cannabis and spinning around,

Felt really,

Really sick.

And then I sometimes ended up vomiting.

And I'd be lying there thinking to myself,

Why have I done this?

This is such a stupid thing to do.

I'm never going to do it again.

That's it.

I've had enough.

And then by three o'clock on a Saturday afternoon,

I'd start having the idea to go out and have more beer with my friends.

You know,

As a teenager,

This is the sort of thing that we did.

And it's ridiculous to me how many times that actually played out of doing something,

Feeling bad about it,

Telling myself it was a bad idea,

Committing not to do it again,

And then shortly afterwards doing it anyway.

And I'm sure you can remember something like this,

Whether it was with alcohol,

Whether it was some other addiction or problem or spending too much time in front of the TV or eating something that you know you shouldn't eat.

Luckily,

Nowadays,

I don't drink anymore,

Certainly try to have my 10 pints.

And I look back on that and it seems absurd.

I can't even imagine wanting to go out and drink 10 pints of beer.

But it genuinely seemed like a good idea at the time.

Nowadays,

I might do something else where I say to myself,

Right,

You know,

I'm not going to I'm not going to check my phone.

I'm not going to go online and check anything.

And then I just sit there and think,

Well,

You know,

I should just check if someone got back to me about this thing.

I want to find out about this thing on Google and I type something in.

And then next thing I know,

An hour disappeared.

And that happens more like more times than I would like it to.

So what is going on with this?

Why is it that on one hand,

We have visions of what we want to do,

What we want to be,

The life we want to enjoy,

What's good for us,

What's bad for us.

And that's in our mind.

And we were pretty clear about that.

And then on the other side,

There's the actual behaviour where we are doing things that are not really very good for us.

How does this happen?

So,

First of all,

Let's just look into that.

Why do we do this?

The pattern that we get into starts with a trigger.

So this is how it works.

We're going about our day,

Then we get a trigger.

Now,

The trigger can be an internal trigger.

It can be our mind telling us to do something.

It can be a feeling in our body,

Feeling restless,

Feeling anxious,

Feeling worried.

And it can also be an external trigger,

Like seeing something,

Hearing something.

So,

For example,

Someone might when they hear the cell phone making a noise,

It triggers a response to check it.

This is designed by the tech companies on purpose so that we get triggered.

And then we can't help ourselves pick it up and see what it is.

Other times,

People might see advertisements for pizzas or for certain types of food.

And they go,

I wouldn't mind some of that.

So there are external triggers,

Advertising images,

Bings on the phone,

Phone calls and that sort of thing.

And then there are internal triggers.

So the first thing is the trigger.

Then is the response to the trigger,

Which is moving in the direction of of of that thing.

So it is kind of calling us to do something.

And then we start moving in that direction.

Then we tend to act out the behavior,

Pick up the phone,

Drink the drink,

Do the drug,

Take the pill,

Check,

Check the thing,

Watch the thing.

You know,

Whatever it is,

There's many different things.

And then once we've acted it out,

We often realize it was a mistake and that the temporary gratification doesn't last.

And then we want to not do it.

We want to come up with a new way of being.

We make amends.

We commit to a different way of living.

And that might last for a little bit.

And then the trigger comes again and then it goes round and round again.

So you can think about this in your own life.

Starts off with the trigger,

Internal or external.

Then we move in the direction.

Then we act it out.

We get temporary benefit.

And then followed by regret and recommitment to something better.

And then we get triggered again.

And it just keeps going round and round and round.

And this is why it can be quite challenging to overcome these things.

And then we can even feel guilt and shame about it,

Because especially if we've done something really bad that we feel our heart hurts our conscience,

Then we might remorse.

I shouldn't have done that.

Why did I do that?

I shouldn't like what's wrong with me?

And I know better.

So there's a big difference between knowing and doing.

And once you've done this stuff enough time,

It can even lead to a sense of hopelessness.

There's nothing I can do about it.

I'm trapped in this thing.

I'm stuck in this thing.

I'll never get out.

I'm no good.

And then we can start starting to really feel like we are dark,

Broken people fundamentally.

You know,

The difference between guilt and shame is that guilt is feeling bad about something we did.

And shame is feeling that we are terrible and identity is that I am this broken,

Flawed,

Horrible person.

So both guilt and shame are very dark emotions.

And the more we do the wrong things over and over and over again,

The bigger the habit becomes,

The more we reinforce that way of being and the worse it gets.

And the further away we come from our freedom.

So how do we overcome the guilt and shame?

Once you've done something wrong,

Whether it's a major mistake,

Has it hurt somebody or hurt yourself?

Or whether it's an ongoing problem?

Here's what we need to do.

Number one.

Number one is to recognize that we are all on some level broken or messed up.

We've been messed up.

And as a result of that,

We're not acting from a place of clarity and sanity all the time.

Even if we know something,

You might read about it,

You might hear about it.

You might know I should do more exercise.

I shouldn't eat this.

I should eat that.

I should do more meditation.

Right.

We know all these things.

But being able to implement them when we're under under stress,

When we've been triggered,

Is very difficult.

So first,

We'll recognize that we've been messed up through our lives,

Through things that have happened to us.

And we do the very best we can in every moment.

So even if the best we can is still is a major mistake,

It's the best we could have done then,

Because we would have done something else if we could have.

It's very important to remember that we do the best we can in the moment.

There's no point in us thinking,

Oh,

I should have done it differently because we couldn't have done it differently.

We did the very best we could.

And it could have been worse.

So we can at least give ourselves credit that we could have done a lot worse.

We could have done something for a lot,

A lot longer or done it in a much more terrible way.

But we did the best we could in the moment.

So each moment of our life,

Depending on situation,

Depending on our state of consciousness,

We do the very best we can.

So when we take that approach,

We can have a little bit of self-compassion,

That we really do the best we can in the moment.

So when I was a teenager,

Doing the best I could on a Friday night was 10 pints.

Sometimes I didn't even manage 10 pints because it's hard to drink that much,

Much alcohol or much of anything.

But based on peer pressure,

Based on ego,

Based on whatever it was,

That was the best I could do.

I don't do it anymore because the best I can do is better than that.

But the best I could have done was that.

So just have that compassion that you really did do the best you could.

The second thing is that doing something bad is not the same as being bad.

We talked about this before that guilt means to feel bad about what we did.

Shame means that I am bad.

And that's a very different thing.

So yes,

We admit that was a big mistake.

Mistake.

We're acting.

This is the big stage of life.

We're making takes.

We're doing the best.

Sometimes we make a mistake.

And if we could go back and have another crack at it,

We would do much better in retrospect,

Having had another go at it.

But we can't change the past.

So we have to admit that we did a mistake.

That doesn't mean we are evil.

It just means that we miss took,

Did a mistake.

And once we recognize there's a difference between who I am and who you are and what you did,

Then it gives us some space to change.

So I did something wrong,

But I'm not a evil person.

This is very,

Very,

Very important fundamental awareness in the Bible.

It says,

Hate the sin,

Not the sinner.

There's a quote that I remember,

And I think that sums it up quite nicely.

We did something wrong.

Fair enough.

We have,

You know,

Not good feelings about that.

But the person who did it,

They can be redeemed.

Can't change the past,

But we can change our life.

So the third thing is we can't change the past.

We can change the present.

You can't change the mistake,

But we can change our next take.

We can commit to being the best that we can be in the now.

All right.

This is extremely important.

Can't change the past.

There's no point even thinking about the past,

Really,

Because there's nothing you can do about it.

The sign of wanting to change the sign of really learning a lesson is to say,

All right,

I admit I did stupid stuff.

What can I do today to create a better life?

How can I create new good actions to override the bad actions?

Because in the end,

We'll be judged ultimately on all things together,

Not just one thing.

So we might have done X number of mistakes and some of them are really terrible mistakes,

Let's say.

But then we also did all this other good stuff.

If we do loads and loads and loads of good karma,

We keep doing good actions,

Positive actions,

Helping others,

Being of service,

Making changes again and again and again and again,

Completely dedicate ourselves to it.

After a while,

It overrides the negativity.

So past is past.

Recommit to being the best you can be now.

The next point is very important is to be redeemed through change to redeem yourself means to change the only real sign of change,

Of being willing to make amends,

Being willing to turn things around.

The only way that we are showing that practically and demonstrating that is being the change and not doing the same stupid thing.

And we're not doing the same stupid things again and again.

Because if we say,

Oh,

I'm really,

Really sorry,

I'm really sorry.

And then we do it again.

And we say,

Oh,

I'm really sorry.

And then we do it again.

Oh,

I'm really sorry.

And we do it again and we do it again and nothing actually changes really.

That that means we haven't we're not really sorry.

I mean,

Sometimes it does take a few rounds.

Sometimes you might realize that's a big major problem.

I shouldn't be doing that anymore.

And we can't help ourselves.

And then we go,

OK,

OK,

OK.

I'm sorry.

It might have to go around a few times.

But if it ultimately if it never stops,

Then there's no real transformation.

Transformation means,

OK,

Sooner or later,

We say enough is enough.

I am demonstrating through my actions,

Through my life,

Through my thoughts,

Through my behavior,

That I am a changed person in real life.

And if there was a camera on us,

A video camera showing our thoughts and our words and our actions day in,

Day out,

You could see there's actually been a change.

So these are the key things to keep in mind that if we've done silly things before,

First of all,

We did the best we could at the time.

We really did,

Even if it was ridiculous,

That doing bad stuff is not the same as being bad.

That we can't change the past.

So there's no point,

You know,

Obsessing about it and ruminating.

We can change the present.

And that's that's a demonstration that we really mean what we say.

And then the last thing is to recognize that the only form of real redemption is to change and to do as much positive karma as we possibly can.

Yeah,

These are freedom.

If you take this to heart,

You're freeing yourself from the past and creating a new course.

Because in life,

We're always there's always some sort of trajectory.

You're like a plane or a ship,

It has a has a trajectory is going in a certain direction.

And when we keep making mistakes,

We're going in a very dark place,

We're going in the wrong direction,

If you like,

Or in a direction that's going to lead to further suffering.

When we really make that change,

We turn the direction,

We can do 180.

And we change our direction,

And we start going in a new way.

We're still in a bad place initially.

But every single day,

Every moment that goes past,

We're moving forward in a new way.

And over time,

Over days,

Weeks,

Months and years,

We end up making huge progress in a completely different direction,

Our life changes.

So anyone can be redeemed.

If they're willing to change,

We have to give ourselves permission,

Real mercy,

Mercy means to make a change.

So the third thing we need to think about is where I,

If you want to make a change,

And do you want to make a change,

Do you really want to make a change?

Have you had enough suffering?

If you really want to do it,

Then here's practically what can be done to turn things around.

These are the two main factors that change our life.

Number one,

Funny enough,

Is the environment.

This is surprising discovery.

I didn't recognize this initially.

You normally think the number one thing is to think differently.

Well,

Number one thing is to,

You know,

Talk to someone confess your sins or whatever it is.

But number one thing actually is environment that we act differently in different situations.

This has taken me a very long time to figure out that we are actually largely products of our environment.

And there's an interesting concept called coupling,

Coupling,

Which means that when you put yourself in a different situation,

Different things can occur.

And this this idea of coupling came when they were studying crime when the police would just be studying crime and how they can best use the police force to combat crime.

And they weren't sure where exactly where the crime was in the city.

And they've only got so many police and what are they going to do?

What they what they did is they started making a list,

Making it out a big map of the cities and they did.

I think they did this in I think it was Kansas City.

But they then used the same methods in loads of other cities and found the same thing.

So what they discovered the police was that when they started figuring out where are the crimes being reported and they put them on a map and they put a little dot wherever there was a crime.

And when you look at these maps,

What you see is the crime is very specifically happening in very specific places.

It's not all over the place randomly.

It's in very select areas.

Normally it's one part of a street,

Literally.

It's not even a block.

It's one area of the street is where most of the crime happens.

And the other side of the street,

There's never any crime.

And this and further down the street,

There's no crime either.

It's just these certain areas,

Little,

Little bits,

Little bits,

Little bits.

So it's coupling crime happens in those area in those areas.

And when we look at our own lives and the mistakes we make,

You can call them the crimes against ourselves or others.

They happen under certain conditions,

Certain circumstances.

And if you remove those circumstances,

They no longer occur.

Right.

And once you've got enough strength and changed your life and behaviors and thinking and everything,

You can put them back and you probably won't do the same things again.

But even so,

You're better off removing them just in case.

So I'll give a practical example about this because I'm sure you're not committing physical crimes that the police would be putting on your crimes on the board.

But we do things that are harmful to ourselves.

And an example is,

Let's say we want to eat healthy foods and we want to stop eating,

Let's say packaged stuff,

You know,

Easy to eat junky stuff that's tasty,

Easy to eat,

Grab it out of the fridge.

But it's not good for our health.

We're realizing we're low energy.

We need to eat better.

So very,

Very practically speaking,

If our fridge is filled with tasty junky stuff that we like to eat.

In other words,

If we are coupled with a house full of tasty junk food,

Then what's going to happen?

We're going to eat it,

Aren't we?

Of course we are because it's just isn't there.

You open the fridge,

What are you going to see?

You open the cupboards,

What are you going to see?

You're hungry.

There's all this stuff.

What's going to happen?

Of course,

We're going to get into the cake hole.

We're going to eat it.

So when our own I wanted to change our diet and eat better,

Not that we were eating like tons of junk food,

But we realized there's always an upgrade.

What we did is we literally took a day to take everything out of our cupboards,

Everything,

Everything out of the fridge.

We decided what was good and what was most of it.

We decided just to give it pretty much all of it.

We gave three big boxes to our neighbor of all this tasty stuff that wasn't good for us,

Three boxes.

And then we went to the store and bought tons of fruits and vegetables and stuff with juices.

And now when we open the fridge,

The only thing you can have is fresh fruits and vegetables.

We used to have this whole drawer full of chocolate and we still have chocolate,

But we used to have a whole drawer full of all kinds of chocolate.

Guess what we used to eat?

It was right there.

You open it up and it's filled with chocolate.

So of course,

Lots and lots of chocolate was consumed.

Now we don't have a whole drawer.

We have a little area,

But most,

Most of the kitchen is filled with stuff that's very,

Very good for us.

So when you couple yourself with the right environment,

You will act differently.

And when we are in the wrong environment,

We will act in a way that is harmful.

A lot of harmful things happen on the internet.

A lot of harmful things happen through cell phones,

Through various things online.

And in my case,

Because I work,

You know,

Writing and creating and doing all these different things,

It requires a lot of attention.

It requires a lot of focus to actually get anything done.

If I'm trying to record this audio to you and at the same time,

My cell phone sitting there binging and making noises,

I'm going to be wondering what's going on and want to check it.

So what we do is we unplug the internet and the cell phone and we put it outside in a plastic box at the far side of the garden.

And what happens?

Well,

We,

You know,

I can get loads of work done,

But when we bring it back in the house and turn it on to check emails and take care of things,

Then,

You know,

I think,

Oh,

I'll just check this.

And I can't focus as well because that is not the best coupling.

That's not the best environment for focus.

It's good for other things,

But it's not good for focus.

Certain people are what's called bad company.

Bad company drowns you.

Good company takes your boat across.

So I've realized that I've been very careful who I hang out with because someone might be the nicest person.

But when I'm coupled with that person or those people,

Then I'm not going to act out the best part of myself.

Right.

And once we admit,

Once we acknowledge that our environment is very important to us,

Then we can make huge progress because someone who appears to be very disciplined is really just very good at controlling their environment.

So when you see people and think this person has such good self discipline,

They're such a master of their life.

Most of the time,

They're not really.

And if you ask them about it,

They're not.

They admit that it's the environment that allows them to have such a great lifestyle.

And if you put the most saintly person in the world in the most tempting environment for long enough,

They'll crack after a while.

It might not happen immediately and probably take a while,

But they'll be broken down,

Broken down,

Broken down,

And then they'll start acting out like everyone else.

So once we admit this to ourselves,

Once we really understand this properly,

Deeply,

Humbly,

Then we can rearrange our environment so that it supports us.

So you can think about this,

What is the supportive environment that would actually allow you to do the things that bring you joy?

And what is the harmful environment that is leading to you acting out negative things that you don't want to do?

Because there's no point in you thinking,

I'm no good,

I'm terrible.

Why am I making these mistakes?

When really you're just,

You put yourself in a very,

Very,

Very challenging situation.

For example,

Casinos are designed to grab people's attention and keep them stuck there.

They haven't got any clocks.

They've got all sorts of fun things to do.

They pump it full of extra oxygen so that people can stay alert longer,

Right?

They're designed for us to spend money,

But a lot of the internet is basically like a casino.

A lot of modern,

The modern world is basically a casino and we need to get out of the casino.

So this is something that's taken me a long time to realize.

Hopefully if you really understand this,

Recognize that if you move your environment around,

Change your environment,

Change the people you hang out with,

Change what's in your fridge,

Change how easy it is to get access to the technology.

The simple principle is this,

Whatever's bad for you,

Make it almost impossible to get your hands on.

Make it pretty much impossible to involve yourself with.

Whatever's bad for you,

Make it so that it's extremely hard to get involved with them.

Whatever's good for you,

Make it really,

Really,

Really,

Really,

Really,

Really easy.

So if you want to eat more fruit,

Then put bowls of fruit in front of you on the table in the kitchen,

Fill your fridge with fruit and get rid of the other stuff.

If the fruits at the back of the fridge rotting away and you have tons of other stuff,

Chips and all the rest of it around,

Then what are you going to eat?

Next thing to recognize is extreme caution,

Extreme caution.

I went to a client today who was having challenges with something and,

You know,

I was explained that we can't let ourselves just think,

Oh,

It's fine,

It's fine,

It's fine,

I'll be fine,

I'll be fine.

No,

No,

No,

We won't be fine.

If we've made a mistake,

We made it again,

We made it again,

And we made it again,

And we made it again,

And we're addicted,

Then we're going to make it again.

So we need to recognize extreme caution.

I remember hearing about the benefit of caution for many years,

And I always thought,

No,

No,

No,

I'm stronger than that.

I can handle it.

You know,

I can handle anything.

Surely if I do spiritual practice that I can face things and take care of them.

I recognize now that's just a massive ego trip and extreme danger.

And I was being stupid.

So I've learned humbly,

Extreme caution is a sign of love for myself,

For my life,

For everyone else as well,

Because the better I am,

The better I can be for others,

And the more I can be of service.

If I don't have extreme caution,

I'm probably going to do something stupid sooner or later.

There's a difference between extreme caution and fear.

Fear based living is being paranoid about everything and being unnecessarily cautious.

Like,

For example,

If you read a news story about someone whose oven,

You know,

It blew up in another country.

It doesn't mean that you should never use your oven ever again.

Yeah,

Or never use the toaster.

That's going too far.

A lot of people they take things to such extreme degrees that they live in a very dysfunctional reality.

So extreme caution is a very specific thing.

When you recognize chances are if I'm in this situation with these people in this way and this and this and this and this,

It's going to be a problem.

So I need to avoid that.

Yeah,

It's a sign of humility saying,

Okay,

I've got limits.

I've got a certain capacity right now.

I'm much better off being cautious than I am being reckless.

Because the triggers are going to come if we can remove the triggers in our life that lead us to want to act out in the wrong way,

Then we're going to overcome it a lot easier.

But unfortunately,

We can't remove all the triggers.

So there will be times where we are triggered,

Whether it's an internal trigger feeling a certain way,

Whether it's an external trigger.

So we need to have an approach of moving our environment around extreme caution and be willing to align ourselves with a lifestyle and a situation that strengthens us strengthens us so it design your environment so you can avoid temptations and make it easy to do the right thing.

Ultimately,

There is a situation where we kind of have a devil on one side of our shoulder and the angel on the other side.

I was just writing about this recently.

There's a great book Dr.

Jekyll and Mr.

Hyde.

So I've written a little bit more about give that story plus how it applies to us.

And essentially,

Whatever we feed within us,

The story of Dr.

Jekyll and Mr.

Hyde is that Dr.

Jekyll took the potion and it released all of his negativity and it overtook his conscience.

Mr.

Hyde is always the beastly side dark side of Dr.

Jekyll and he went off and did all sorts of terrible things.

And he enjoyed it.

Yeah,

Because negativity is exciting and enjoyable temporarily.

But then it leads to terrible suffering.

And because he kept feeding Mr.

Hyde,

Mr.

Hyde,

Mr.

Hyde,

He got bigger and bigger and bigger and then he couldn't control himself anymore.

And then Mr.

Hyde ultimately took over and he ended up dying.

And this is what happens in many,

Many people is that gradually,

Gradually,

Gradually,

The pot of negativity gets bigger and bigger and bigger and overtakes everything else.

So we need to accept the fact that there is these two sides to us and whichever one we feed gets bigger.

And extreme caution means to humbly admit that we can't feed Mr.

Hyde,

We can't feed the dark side within us at all.

I've had to recognise that I can't think certain thoughts at all.

I have to they come up sometimes negative thoughts.

And I catch myself and I say,

You know,

That's it,

It's done.

I'm focusing on my freedom,

Freedom.

And then that gets bigger and bigger and bigger.

Because otherwise we get consumed with negativity,

Which is why the world is in such a terrible place because the negativity has been growing and growing and growing inside of more and more people,

Leading them to act out all sorts of terrible things.

So we need to not feed the monsters within us and instead empower the peace,

The love,

The bliss,

The angel,

Empower the goodness within us through in right environment through good company,

Through extreme caution through doing things that actually lead to a joyful state.

And it's also important to recognise that all this stuff takes time.

It takes time.

You know,

If we've been going in the wrong direction for a very,

Very,

Very long time thinking certain thoughts again and again,

Doing certain actions again and again.

You know,

It's not just going to disappear all of a sudden,

We're gonna have to turn around and keep go back the other way and keep moving in that new direction until we're in a new space.

And it does take time.

Sometimes it takes years.

It's a very odd situation to be in really,

Because the world we live in promotes negativity promotes all the vices,

Negativity,

Addictions promotes,

Promotes,

Promotes,

Promotes.

People then get involved with it,

We get caught up in it.

We suffer the consequences,

We get addicted,

And then we have to go and walk back the way we came and get out of it.

You know,

It's like we've dug ourselves a hole.

Now we have to crawl out again.

And that sort of sucks.

But then again,

Each time we move forward,

We're getting freer and freer and freer,

And sooner or later we'll be out of the hole,

Being able to create a life that we love.

And that is so worth it.

It's so worth it.

Because here's the thing,

If we've been digging a hole for years and years and years,

We have to stop today.

And so you know what,

There's no point me continuing digging further down into this hole.

I need to get the hell out of here.

I'm going to turn around and stop walking the other way right now.

And the more sincere we are,

The more really deep in our hearts we've made that decision,

That transformation,

The faster we can get out.

So it might take a long time to dig the hole.

It doesn't necessarily have to take the same amount of time to get out of it.

It can take way less.

We can fly out the hole.

If we're sincere.

So here's a quick recap on how to not keep making mistakes and to really break free so you can create a beautiful life that you deserve because we came into this wonderful world to enjoy ourselves.

We didn't come here to be an addicts and caught up in all sorts of things.

So number one,

We all make mistakes.

So we need to have a bit of compassion,

Miss take.

We did something.

It wasn't the best.

Fair enough.

But the good news is that we can change ourselves.

We can't change the past,

But we can change our current life,

Our present life right now.

We can make change right now.

We can do something else to make that change.

We need to change our environment is extremely important.

Look at your life.

Look at your environment.

Think to yourself how many things are in your environment are designed so that you act out the wrong stuff that's causing problems.

And you have to make do extreme measures like I realized I'm definitely going to get distracted.

There's too many things going on in the world that I'm interested in.

I'm online.

I'll be like,

I wonder what's going on in the news.

I wonder what's going on on social media.

I wonder about this one.

I mean,

That's just I'm curious person like everyone else.

So I realize I'm just gonna unplug the thing so I can just get on with my work.

And then I'll plug it back in again,

Upload everything,

Send it out,

Give blessings.

And it allows me to have a lot more freedom.

So think about your environment,

Whether it's online,

Whether it's offline,

Whether it's the people you hang out with the friends and family,

You have the food in your fridge,

The sorts of clothes that you wear,

Even clothes.

A lot of time,

Especially women often wear these really tight clothes that cause stress.

I know a lot of women because the clothes nowadays fashions that way inclined.

And they find that if they were loose clothes,

They feel much more relaxed because they're not being crushed,

You know,

By this tight garments.

So even the clothes,

The colors,

The style,

How how free we feel,

How much sleep we're getting,

Everything has an effect on us.

So you want to think does your environment support you feeling wonderful and making wonderful decisions or are you coupled with stuff that's going to pull you into triggers and negativity?

The cell phone is one of the major problems that most people deal with.

You don't have to use it all day long.

One of the easiest things you can do is just have it off for the morning and the evening and just using use it during the the the middle of the day and don't get involved with stuff.

I mean,

It's it's very important.

I've got a website called digital detox dot I.

O.

Digital detox dot I.

O.

Where you can learn all about this for free.

If you're wanting to be free from too much waste on the internet.

Second thing is extreme caution,

Extreme caution.

Once you understand about environment and you realize that being careful makes a big difference.

And then the third thing,

Of course,

Is is good company.

Surround yourself with good company.

Good people,

Good vibrations,

Good music.

Yeah,

The more you are surrounded with wonderful opportunities,

Design it in such a way that you have all this blessings in your life.

You're going to have a huge improvement very easily.

So make it really,

Really,

Really,

Really,

Really easy to make the right decision and really difficult to make the wrong decision.

You'll make huge changes.

The last thing is meditation.

And what it does is it helps us to feel full on the inside because the more content and peaceful and satisfied we are in ourselves,

The less we are running around craving and wanting and needing and causing trouble for ourselves and others.

So that's really helped me over the years personally,

And it's helped tons of our students and clients because the more we feel inspired,

Everything else sort of fades away by itself.

So good company,

Great environment,

Extreme caution,

Meditation,

And you will definitely overcome it.

And you start to get your confidence back,

Your joy back,

Your freedom back.

Everything is beautiful.

Everything is beautiful.

So may you enjoy your freedom.

May you have freedom.

May you experience your life as the self sovereign being that you are.

It's your life.

You deserve freedom.

Thank you for your beautiful presence.

Much love and many blessings.

Reviews

I found this at the perfect time. Thank you for this lesson. I am feeling more positive than I have in so long. Many blessings to you.

That was truly helpful, thank you for your ability to distill all this into simple concepts. I honestly feel LOADS lighter after this, and I was having searing panic all day about a mistake. Thank you for everything ❤️🙏✨

Fantastic! So eye opening- thank you!

Thanks bery much. It was not what i expected... A meditation 😊 but very good thoughts. For me i think it is also important that the wish to optimize really comes from self love and not a wounded perfectionist urge.. And so i ket myself run 80% good and also allow myself 20% giving a sh**. Otherwise some people can get very hard to deal with. We want to be good to ourselves but not perfrctionistic in crazy goals shown by insta. This also can be bad company if it always makes you feel like you cannot make it. Thanks again ❤️

Thank you so much for a kind and sensible talk. I am grieving the loss of my parents and been caught up in rumination and guilt over decisions made. Your advise will help in many situations.
I feel lighter, thank you. 🙏🏽

This was really helpful- thank you! Such a relief to take the shame off oneself as those are heavy burdens to carry around - thank you. Never thought about the environment in that way - believed I had to work on myself til I was strong enough to simply resist temptations. I have to admit I’m on my phone too much, it makes me absolutely miserable, I hate this addiction, it’s wasting my life. Thanks x

This talk was very helpful, so comforting and very supportive. Exactly what i needed. Thank you!

Helpful talk, thanks so much. 🙏🏻💙

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this talk. I was finally able to release the breath I’ve been holding for so long. I feel free.

absolutely loved this talk, made so much sense to me and looking forward to implementing the points into my life

Powerful and insightful 🙏