Schema Repatterning Meditation
In this schema repatterning meditation we elicit the schema (negative self-belief) we want to work on and, since the mind can't hold conflicting emotional information, we set about repatterning it with positive emotional experiences.
Transcript
Push the crown of the head up towards the ceiling.
Now start settling in.
Now go ahead and take a super deep breath in.
Retain the breath below the navel.
And exhale.
Extending the exhale.
And then once again,
Super deep breath in.
Retain the breath below the navel.
And exhale.
And exhale.
And exhale.
Then once again,
Super deep breath in.
Retain the breath below the navel.
And exhale.
Okay,
So now bring to mind one of these repetitive,
Somewhat self-defeating behaviors that you seem to repeat probably throughout the years,
Not just recently.
Okay,
Bring that to mind now.
And probably these behaviors could be classified as either overcompensation,
So a kind of fighting,
Kind of overly active way of being avoidance,
Or surrender,
Like excessive passivity.
And also you don't need to perfectly categorize the behavior.
As long as you find the behavior,
That's good enough.
Okay,
You have the behavior.
And now go ahead and name it.
Name this behavior of yours.
And now imagine yourself acting out the behavior.
In a sense,
You imagine yourself being possessed by this behavior.
So you see the scene now.
Okay,
And now this is where it really gets interesting.
Notice how there is a certain belief about self,
Other,
And world that makes this behavior necessary.
Again,
From more of an emotional logic,
From a place of emotional logic,
The belief about self,
Other,
And world makes this behavior necessary.
Notice that now.
I'll cue you one more time.
See yourself doing the behavior.
Also kind of feel it in the body,
Feel the emotions that arise when you're doing the behavior.
And now notice how there is a,
Let's start with self.
How is it that you view yourself when you're acting out this behavior?
Maybe it's not good enough,
Maybe kind of socially isolated,
Maybe you view yourself as incompetent.
Notice that.
Now,
Notice how when you're kind of compelled to act this,
Let's say problematic way,
Notice how it is that you see others.
Maybe you see others as better than you,
Maybe unavailable,
Not interested,
Very different.
Maybe you see them as capable and yourself as incapable.
Go ahead and notice that now.
How do you view others?
Now,
How,
Again,
When you're acting out your mode,
Right,
How is it that you view the world?
Okay,
Good.
This belief about self,
Other and world,
This is the schema.
This is the emotional memory that we're going to work on.
If you have pen and paper,
It would be worth writing down the schema.
So it could be,
You know,
Not good enough,
Defective,
Shameful,
You know,
Will be abandoned,
Incompetent,
Socially isolated,
Something like that usually.
Okay,
So now,
See how this is just an emotional belief.
This is a framework for seeing and understanding yourself,
Others in the world.
Notice that.
Okay,
So again,
In as much as this is an emotional memory,
You learn this somewhere.
Reflect on that now.
Oh,
I learned this somewhere.
And now,
Float back either to childhood,
Adolescence or adulthood,
And find a scene,
A memory,
Where this kind of learning was reinforced.
To find a time where this was imprinted on you,
This belief about self,
Other and world.
And this does not have to be a real memory,
It can be like a composite or amalgamated reconstructed memory.
So go ahead and find that memory now.
I'll give you a minute.
Okay,
So there you are in this old scene.
Notice where you are.
Notice who you're with.
Notice how old you are.
And now especially notice the feeling,
The emotion,
The thoughts.
So notice what it's like in the body.
Likely there are kind of restrictions in the body that activate.
Notice those now.
That's right.
And now,
Really pay attention to how,
Like the quality of learning.
Notice how this imprinted on you,
This informed you about your way of viewing life.
Now see that clearly.
See how experiences like these created this negative belief that you identified earlier as underlying the behavior that you want to work on.
Notice that very clearly and with a real sense of curiosity and interest.
And now imagine yourself kind of floating above the scene on a timeline going,
Going from that scene towards your present day reality.
And as you're kind of floating on along this timeline.
You can see all these instances in your life that this negative belief has affected you.
Has colored your way of viewing life.
And as a result,
Maybe you behaved in a certain way that was a bit self-defeating.
Go ahead and see that now reviewing these different incidences.
Keep going.
And also sorrow or grief comes up,
Compassion makes face for all of that.
Really see how this belief has affected your life.
Okay,
Good.
Now,
Go back to the scene itself.
One more time,
Notice where you are.
How old you are,
Who you're with.
Notice the emotions.
And now be very much present in the body.
And notice the probably the discomfort in the body,
The constrictions in the body.
And now have your perfect nurturers who are kind of parent like figures that are perfectly suited to you and not based on your parents,
Have them come into the scene.
And now they remove you from the scene.
They take you somewhere totally safe.
They can really tend to you.
And now they respond to you in just the right way.
Go ahead and develop that scene.
See how they attune to you.
They know what you've been through.
They see how uncomfortable this was.
They basically soothe you in just the right way.
Go ahead and develop that scene.
And now,
Give voice to whatever feels most unfinished about this old negative scene.
And the perfect nurturers are going to listen very,
Very attentively.
They really want to understand.
Okay,
So go ahead and develop that scene.
I'll check in with you in one minute.
That's right.
Keep going.
As you give voice,
They really pay attention.
They really attune and they comfort you just the right way.
Keep going.
And now see how they really get it.
Totally attentive.
And now one more time,
Give voice to whatever feels most unfinished about this old scene.
That's right.
Keep going.
And one more time,
Give voice to whatever feels most unfinished about this old scene.
The perfect nurturers really want to understand.
They lean in,
Tilt the head.
They really want to understand.
And now,
They tell you just the thing that you need to hear.
They really know you well,
They're quite wise,
And they want to tell you something.
So now you can really take that in.
That's right.
Keep going.
That's right.
And now one more time,
Give voice to whatever it is that really feels unfinished for you.
And as usual,
The perfect nurturers paid such close attention.
So happy to be with you.
And you can develop that scene now.
And they tell you just the thing that you need to hear.
Really taking that in.
Good.
Now I want to point something out.
It's very,
Very interesting.
So think back to the old negative belief,
Negative view on life,
That this old scene reinforced in you.
So bring that to mind.
Slightly re-experience that,
Let that kind of wash over you.
And now,
Reflect on how the perfect nurturers have treated you in this last scene.
It's very interesting.
The way that they treated you actually disconfirms this old negative belief,
This old negative view on self,
Other and world.
It's very curious.
Now I want you to look back at your experience and see this.
That's right.
Now,
This is also kind of weird but see if you can hold both views,
Both learnings in mind at the same time,
Hold the belief about the negative belief about self,
Other and world that you learned in the old scene and also hold the belief about all these positive messages that the perfect nurturers have told you.
How responsive that they've been,
How stable,
Consistent,
Loving and delighting in you,
They have been.
So hold both of these in mind at the same time.
Okay,
Good.
This helps with emotional memory of the consolidation to hold both views at the same time.
Very good.
Now,
Float back to before this old negative scene ever happened.
Now,
You along with the perfect nurturers are going to redo this old scene,
But you're going to experience the positive opposite of the old negative learning.
So this scene can be anything that you want but you want it to be reinforcing the very opposite of the old negative experience and view.
Go ahead and do that now.
I'm redoing the scene with the perfect nurturers now.
Keep going.
Keep going.
Keep developing the scene and really feeling into how wonderful this is kind of let this positive experience in the scene.
Restore this like kind of childlike wonder.
This like sparkle in your eye.
Keep developing the scene.
That's right.
And into this feeling how this positive scene is marking you deeply into the sense of the constrictions in the body releasing opening up,
Allowing yourself to not feel defended.
Keep developing the scene.
Good.
And now dissolve that scene.
And now,
See yourself in your real adult life,
Going forward.
See yourself interacting with others.
But these positive experiences that you've had this colors,
Everything in terms of how you interact with others.
So go ahead and see that.
Notice how it's so easy to connect with others.
How you attune to them,
And they attune to you.
Go ahead and develop that scene.
That's right.
Also notice how you delight in others,
And then others naturally delight in you.
Again,
This is in your real adult life going forward.
See all this unfold.
Feel into how there's this quality of ease,
Levity,
Brightness.
And now,
In as much as you have all this social support.
Now,
You notice how pursuing your explorations pursuing the things that you really value in life.
This is much,
Much easier.
Now see yourself actually planning out your explorations,
Maybe planning out projects that you want to undertake.
And now see yourself executing.
See yourself going after whatever it is that you want in life,
And then feel into being really supported by others as you go after that.
That's right.
Keep going.
Developing the scene.
Now really feel into how you know who you are,
You know what you're about.
That you also are able to go after it.
That you're able to take decisive action and plan.
Now feel how this helps you set up straight.
Feel good about yourself.
Now make a deep impression,
Make a deep impression that really feel that in the body.
Good.
Now two more smaller steps.
Now go back to the old behavior that you had identified at the very beginning of the meditation.
You'll probably notice that the compulsion to repeat it feels less.
Notice that.
Also remember the old negative belief that under lied.
This kind of compulsion to behave a certain way that you identify.
Notice how it also feels less compelling less true.
Notice that.
And so now get the sense,
Oh yeah okay,
I have worked through this partially.
And now bring up the sense of agency and self directedness,
I can work through things about myself that are a problem.
And now,
Really set up straight and feel into a healthy sense of pride.
Hey,
Good.
Now make a deep impression of that account from five to one.
When I get to one you'll be awake and present in the room,
Settled in the experience,
Five,
Four,
Three,
Two,
One.
You'll be awake and present in the room,
Settled in the experience.
