So once again,
Sit up straight.
And now bring to mind a behavior of yours.
It's kind of repetitive over time.
It's kind of like a problematic pattern that causes suffering in your life and that you seem not to be able to shake.
And you seem not to be able to get rid of it.
So bring that to mind now.
And go ahead and name this part of yourself or this behavior.
Also often these types of behaviors can be categorized as avoidance,
A passive surrender mode,
Or like an overcompensation mode.
That might be helpful in understanding the behavior.
Go ahead and identify the behavior.
And if you have a piece of paper and a pen or a pencil,
You can write down the behavior.
That's helpful for concentration.
Okay,
Go ahead and see that.
So you've now identified your behavior.
And now see yourself acting out this problematic behavior.
And now this is an important step.
Notice the mental states that underlie and cause this behavior.
And then the way that we'll identify that is by answering these questions.
So when I'm acting out my behavior,
When I feel compelled to act out my behavior,
I tend to see myself such and such way.
I see the world a certain way and I see others a certain way.
So how is it that you see self,
Other,
And world in the mental state in which you act out this negative behavior?
Go ahead and identify that.
How do you view self,
Others,
And the world?
The world.
You can also write that down.
Now noticing this belief.
Now this is very important.
Notice how the belief makes the behavior either necessary or just an unintended consequence.
Notice that now.
This is very important.
The belief makes the behavior necessary.
Once the belief is established,
The behavior is just a natural causal outcome.
Seeing that helps us drop blame and shame and prompts us to have compassion and understanding towards ourselves and others.
Go ahead and contemplate that for a minute.
Okay.
And now come back into this belief.
This belief about self,
Other,
And world.
You learned this somewhere.
This was conditioned into you through experiences.
And now float back either to childhood,
Adolescence,
Or adulthood,
And let a memory arise where you were treated in such a way that it reinforced this negative belief.
Go ahead and see if you can find a memory.
And it does not have to be a real memory.
It can be a composite or amalgamated memory.
Go ahead and find the memory now.
Release you that clearly.
Okay,
And now you're in this memory and we'll use first person,
Present language that helps us stay really embodied.
Okay,
So where are you?
Who are you with?
How old are you?
And most importantly,
What thoughts and feelings are coming up right now?
What is this like in this old memory where you were treated in a way that taught you this toxic lesson?
What is that like?
And now once again,
See how this conditioning,
These experiences taught you this negative lesson about life.
And it's important to see how this is not personal to you in a certain way.
Anybody that would have been exposed to this difficult experience would have learned this negative lesson.
So once again,
We see how it makes sense to drop self-blame and shame and to have compassion towards ourselves.
Go ahead and see that.
Okay,
So now go back into the scene.
Experience it once again.
Notice what it feels like.
And now have the perfect nurturers come into the scene.
And then the perfect nurturers,
The first thing that they do is they protect you and stand up for you.
So if someone treated you poorly in the scene,
They protect you from that person,
They stand up for you.
And if it's appropriate and if it's helpful to you,
They confront that person.
They let that person know this was not right.
Go ahead and do that scene if that makes sense for you.
And if it doesn't make sense for you,
The perfect nurturers just focus on soothing you,
Attuning to you and comforting you.
So go ahead and do either a confrontation scene where the perfect nurturers confront this person or people that treated you poorly and stand up for you or do a emotional soothing type scene.
So go ahead with that now.
Keep going,
Shaping and reshaping the scene in such a way to get your needs met.
And also notice how the perfect nurturers supporting you in this way is a complete delight for them.
Really take that in.
What a delight.
They're so happy to support you.
Keep going.
That's right,
Keep going.
That's right.
Keep going,
Shaping and reshaping the scene in such a way that you get your needs met.
And also the perfect nurturers let you know that this isn't your fault.
This is just a difficult experience.
They see how it did have an impact on you,
But fundamentally this is not even your material.
Somebody else put this on you and you don't need to carry this anymore,
But they fully understand how it is that you're upset about this.
Now keep going.
That's right.
And also if you want to discuss this in dialogue about this situation,
About your suffering,
About the confusion of this negative treatment that you received,
The perfect nurturers are really happy to talk to you about it.
Keep going.
And now you're with them now.
You're never going to have to put up with this again.
You're going to be with the perfect nurturers going forward.
Really take that in.
That's right.
Keep going.
And now let's really focus on soothing.
Really feel into how you are seen and known.
The perfect nurturers tilt ahead,
Lean in.
They say,
Oh,
It looks like you're experiencing such and such.
Is that right?
They really understand what you're experiencing.
And also it's very clear they are entirely on your side.
These are your perfect nurturers.
You don't share them with anybody else.
And of course they physically soothe you in just the right way.
Keep going.
And now notice,
This is very,
Very interesting.
Notice how the way that the perfect nurturers are treating you now.
Notice how the way that they intervened,
Kept you safe,
Stood up for you,
Valued you.
Notice how that disconfirms this old negative belief about yourself and the world.
Notice that for a minute.
It's quite interesting.
Now really take that in.
Okay.
And now you and the perfect nurturers will go back to this old negative scene and redo the scene.
But this time it will go perfect.
It will go in an ideal way.
So,
Okay,
There you are at the beginning of this scene before it happened.
And now you and the perfect nurturers redo the scene in such a way that the outcome is perfect.
So go ahead and redo the scene now.
This is the old negative scene that we investigated earlier,
Redo that.
That's right,
Keep going.
That's right.
Keep going.
Shaping and reshaping the scene,
Such that it really goes perfect.
Keep going.
Good.
Now,
What we're going to do is it's kind of weird.
But this helps with emotional memory reconsolidation.
We're going to try to hold both this old negative belief and this old,
This new positive belief.
We're going to try to hold them in mind at the same time,
Kind of switching emphasis between the two,
Kind of going back and forth.
This helps with emotional memory reconsolidation.
So go ahead and kind of switch between the two beliefs,
The old negative one and this new positive emotional learning that you've learned with the perfect nurturers.
Go ahead and do that now.
Keep going.
That's right.
Keep going.
And now only reinforce the positive view,
The positive belief.
Really reinforce that in a salient way.
And now for about 30 seconds,
See how the trajectory of your life will now be much more positive.
Your life will go much better now.
Go ahead and see that.
And see yourself moving through life with this positive view and with the support of the perfect nurturers.
Go ahead and see that now.
So this is moving through your real adult life.
Now really feel into this.
This is good.
Keep going.
That's right.
Now make a deep impression of this.
This is what you expect from life.
And now for the next 30 seconds,
We're just going to review the meditation.
So imagine yourself kind of stepping out of the meditation and then reviewing it from this place of great kind of perspective and context.
So what was this like?
What did you learn?
That's right.
Good,
Good,
Good work.
Okay.
I'll count from five to one.
And when I get to one,
You'll be awake and present in the room.
Settled in the experience.
Five,
Four,
Three,
Two,
One.
Okay.
