Reparenting The Inner Child, Emphasis On Compassion & Joy

Lead in with deep breathing and body scan up to 08:22, before healing negative schemas (thought patterns / behaviour) through visualising inner parents for our inner child. This meditation evokes Buddhist-inspired qualities of compassion and sympathetic joy.

Transcript

Okay,

So sitting up straight,

Pushing the crown of the head up towards the ceiling.

And so we're gonna start with some deep breathing and then we'll do a body scan.

Okay,

So now inhale very,

Very deeply and then retain the breath below the navel.

So inhale very deep,

Retain.

Exhale,

Retain.

Exhale.

Exhale.

Extending the length of the exhale.

Now inhale once again very,

Very deeply and then retain the breath.

So retaining the breath below the navel.

Exhale,

Extending out the exhale.

Now inhale again very,

Very deeply.

Retain the breath below the navel.

Now start extending the exhale.

Good.

And now already notice all the relaxation and settledness.

Good.

Now we're gonna do a body scan.

This'll help us really feel the meditation and then take it in and have it imprint deeply.

So go ahead and feel the feet,

Legs and hips.

And the feet,

Legs and hips all relax on their own without you doing anything.

And now notice the abdomen rising and falling.

And now see how that's all happening on its own.

You're not straining.

There's just this very light quality of observing.

Good.

And now feeling the chest expand and contract and now bringing the attention to the upper back and shoulders.

Good.

We often hold tension in this area.

So you can either let that go at this point,

Or if you can't,

Then just accept that.

Make peace with that there's some tension being held.

It's totally okay.

Okay,

Now feel the arms and hands.

And now feel the head,

Neck and face.

And now take a deep,

Deep breath and feel the whole body all at once.

And now exhale feeling the whole body release and I've dissolved.

Okay,

Good.

So now I'll remind you of some of the schemas and pick one where there's kind of some heat for you,

Where there's some triggering.

And then we're gonna work on this.

So,

Okay,

Here's a partial list.

So defectiveness and shame,

Emotional deprivation,

Social isolation,

Fear of abandonment,

Mistrust and abuse.

Yeah.

Also dependence and competence,

Vulnerability to harm or illness,

Enmeshment or underdeveloped sense of self,

Failure to achieve.

So go ahead and pick one of those.

And then now touch into some image thoughts,

Some auditory thoughts that would trigger the schema for you.

Likely that's gonna be in your real adult life.

And now,

Can I come into your inner child,

Bring up the inner child and have the inner child experience the schema.

There might be more of a flavor of a vulnerable child,

Angry child,

Lonely child.

And now open up or encouraged that a memory arise.

This can be a real memory of some sort of situation that happened that was similar where you felt triggered in a similar way.

And also if it's actual trauma,

Do not go into the trauma or abuse itself.

Just go in afterwards where you're dealing with the emotions,

Do not go into the actual abuse.

That's option one.

And then option two is,

If you don't have any specific memory,

You can make a composite memory,

Like a would be memory where you'd be triggered in a similar way.

So now really feel what this is like.

Really let yourself be very triggered.

Good.

And now bring up internal parents.

And these internal parents are especially compassionate.

And compassion here means a complete and utter receptivity,

Total responsiveness,

A complete responsiveness,

A complete recognition of your legitimate suffering and a wish,

A desire and action to help that suffering diminish and go away.

So now go ahead and develop that scene.

I'll check in with you in just a minute.

And also notice how this compassion,

This receptivity and responsiveness knows no bounds.

Totally broad and accepting,

Totally open.

That's right.

Keep going.

Keep going.

And now also notice the wisdom and understanding of these internal parents,

That they understand your experience and help you understand it as well and get organized around what all happened.

And it's also very clear to them that it's not your fault,

That this created suffering and that they're with you to help you work through it in this completely compassionate,

Receptive and responsive way.

Now also notice how they're so attentive.

They really understand what's happening.

Their attention never wavers.

And there's also this quality of faith.

They're totally confident that you're gonna work through this.

And it's also so obvious that they're competent as well.

Competent and confident.

They're right there with you,

Helping you work through it.

That's right.

Keep going.

So responsive and receptive.

That's right.

Keep going.

And really noticing the total responsiveness.

They know just how to respond to you.

That's right.

Keep going.

And now also notice their wisdom and how they help you make sense of all of this.

How they help you understand the causal nature of this conditioning.

And to see how it's fundamentally impersonal.

It's not your fault.

And now notice how they really see that.

And that helps you see that.

And now there might be a lightness and a feeling of unburdening yourself.

That's right.

Keep going.

Keep developing the scene.

And now these inner parents are gonna further help you understand the situation.

So now you and the inner parents kind of float back to the scene that brought about the problematic conditioning.

And again,

Don't bring up actually any trauma or actual abuse.

And now the inner parents are actually gonna confront the situation or the person that was unkind to you that brought about this difficult conditioning.

And just let them know in a calm and compassionate way,

But firm,

Like this is not okay.

You didn't deserve this treatment.

That better provisions should have been made.

And now have this person that was not kind to you that brought about this negative conditioning actually acknowledge what happened.

So they're kind of on the outside of the scene.

You and your inner parents are kind of on the inside but they're on the periphery and they acknowledge like,

Yeah,

I see that this was a problem.

This was due to my own ignorance,

Due to problematic conditioning and stress in my own life.

And I'm sorry,

This was unfortunate.

I regret this and I understand how this caused suffering.

So they say something along those lines to you,

But you're kind of being held by,

Supported by the inner parents.

And also you're totally safe with the inner parents.

And so then now the inner parents further reinforce,

Yeah,

This was not right.

This is not your fault.

You're blameless in this regard.

That's right.

And now you can kind of go back just with the inner parents.

Now they respond to you in just the right way.

So receptive and help you further work through this.

And also this quality of love and actual enjoyment.

And their part on their end is very clear.

They're so happy to support you in this way.

And now really start coming into a sense of closure around this.

Of perspective taking.

Notice how you have a different view on these experiences that you had.

And now notice how this imprints deeply on you.

And you can see how you'll be free of this going forward.

And so now imagine life is a different experience.

And you're just kind of being held by the inner parents.

And so you're just kind of being held by the inner parents.

And so now imagine life going forward without this negative schema that you work on.

This maladaptive schema.

And see life unfold in this new way with all these potentials and possibilities.

And to have your inner parents support you.

And there can be other people in the scene that are supportive.

And now notice this quality of sympathetic joy.

That your inner parents find you to be such a joy.

And celebrate.

Kind of celebrate you generally,

But especially celebrate your good qualities.

Your character strengths.

Also your diligence.

Your investigation of your own mental states.

So have them do that,

But also have others in your real adult life going forward do the same thing.

That they rejoice.

That they see your good qualities.

See your character strengths.

And also that they cooperate with you.

That they're responsive.

Go ahead and develop that scene now.

Notice how when you get this level of support,

That you are doing this kind of thing as your personal character might be Property.

Very much.

Can you count on the number,

Please?

Unless the number is extend the camera again?

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Nine.

Nine.

That the inclination to be social,

Cooperative,

Collaborative,

Creative,

Confident,

All arise for you.

Develop a scene where those qualities are coming to the fore and are prominent.

That's right.

Keep developing the scene.

And now also see this quality of wisdom and understanding,

Discernment on your part.

See how the world,

You understand the world better.

You understand interpersonal relations better.

That the mind is very clear and sharp.

You understand your own mental states,

The mental states of others.

How the kind of causal effects that people interacting brings about like,

So how one person's thoughts or moods,

Words,

Et cetera,

Behaviors affect another.

And also get this sense of perspective taking,

Seeing the larger context.

And now notice how a natural confidence arises out of that.

It's so clear you can move through your life in a way to go about getting the things that you desire,

That you view as personally meaningful.

Keep developing that scene.

That's right.

Keep going.

Really feel this in the body and in the mind,

Feeling how this imprints deeply.

And now we'll go ahead and dissolve that scene.

And now go back to this schema that you worked on,

This source of upset,

This kind of maladaptive thought,

Felt thought.

And now recognize how common this is.

So many others at the same difficulty,

Had the same problematic conditioning.

And now on the in-breath,

Reflect on their suffering.

And on the out-breath,

Wish them well.

Send them the aspiration of relief.

And now also notice how you understand the suffering.

You've been through it.

You've experienced it quite fully.

And you also see how unnecessary it is.

And there's this sense of understanding others,

The mental states of others,

And also of being understood yourself.

And then this shared human experience around us.

Really noticing this sense of camaraderie and open-heartedness.

And now also reflecting how this is common to others.

See how this is totally impersonal.

It's not personal to you.

You can't possibly be to blame.

And also no one else could be blameworthy either.

You see that now.

OK,

Good.

So we'll start wrapping up the meditation.

But before we do,

Look back on this.

What was this like?

What did you learn?

And now notice how there's a sense of competence and confidence from having learned these lessons,

From having seen all this.

You feel like you have a greater sense of agency and choice in your life.

You're more so the master of your own destiny because you have these tools now.

And you've had these insights.

Really get a clear sense for that now.

OK,

Good.

Now wrapping up the meditation.

So now just bring your attention to the rising and falling of the abdomen.

Now start gently opening the eyes halfway.

And now all the way.

And now letting go of the meditation.

OK,

Good.

That's it.

Reviews

Wow. The memory that came up almost paralleled a situation I recently went through. I was only 14 and really didnt have the emotional support sytem to confide in. But I see the situation so differently now.

A great meditation for attachment issues and reparenting your inner voice with compassion and self-soothing. 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟