Push the crown of the head up towards the ceiling.
And start settling in.
Good.
Now take a deep,
Deep breath.
And exhale.
Once again,
Super deep breath in.
And exhale.
And then one last time,
Super deep breath in.
And exhale.
Alright,
Now bring up what it's like to set a boundary.
Just bringing up setting a boundary,
Especially when you kind of feel bad about it or feel like,
Oh,
I'll be abandoned if I set the boundary.
Now just check in with the body.
What parts of the body get activated as you reflect on setting a boundary?
Uh,
That's right.
Okay,
Good.
And now bring to mind a time,
A situation,
A memory where you tried to set a boundary.
You intended to and then maybe you ended up feeling bad about it.
And to be clear,
If you can't remember,
If you don't have a memory along these lines,
You can just kind of reinvent a scene where you would try to set a boundary and then would maybe feel bad about it or it would not be respected.
Okay,
Bring up this scene where you're trying to set a boundary.
Notice where you are in the memory.
Notice who you're with.
And then every time I give one of these prompts,
Follow the prompt and then immediately check in with the body.
Like kind of when you see the person that you're with,
What comes up in the body?
And then what's happening in this scene,
In this memory?
And as you reflect on that,
Touch into the body.
That's right,
Keep going.
That's right.
And now in this old scene,
What am I feeling?
What are my emotions?
What was this like for me?
That's right.
That's right.
Check in with the image thoughts.
What images come up around this?
And as you see the images,
Feel into the body.
Okay,
Good.
And now this is another way to think about and investigate these scenes where there are problematic interpersonal relationships or interpersonal situations.
All right,
So back in this negative scene where you tried to set a boundary,
But it didn't quite work.
Ask yourself,
What is it that I wanted at the time?
Now dwell on that question and stay inside the body and notice what's going on in the body as you reflect on it.
That's right,
Keep going.
Keep going.
What is it that I wanted in this old scene where I was trying to set a boundary,
But it didn't quite work?
That's right,
Keep going.
All right,
Now how did the other in the scene respond to my desire,
To what I wanted at the time?
So contemplate that question and then stay inside the body noticing all the activations.
That's right.
How did the other respond to what I desired?
To be clear,
Just try to see this very plainly.
I mean,
Of course,
If anger comes up,
That's fine,
But don't get totally carried away in the anger.
More than anything,
Notice the somatic activations around seeing the other person's response to your desire at the time in the memory.
That's right,
Keep going.
All right,
Now in this old scene,
How did their response to your desire affect you?
And now just feel that in the body.
That's right,
Keep going.
Okay,
Now we're going to go a little bit more cognitive.
What lessons did you learn about life based on this scene,
Based on what you wanted,
How the other responded and how that affected you?
So what lessons about life did you learn in this old scene?
That's right,
Keep going.
It's a very similar question,
But it might bring up a different insight.
How did this experience,
Trying to set a boundary and it not going well,
Distort your understanding of self,
Other and world?
Contemplate that,
Letting the images and the thoughts,
The auditory thoughts,
The emotions arise and staying connected with the sensations in the body as you reflect on those.
That's right,
Keep going.
Another very similar question,
But might bring up something else.
How did you adapt to the world given these learnings from earlier in life about boundaries?
That's right,
Keep going.
Good.
Now,
Imagine that you're this healthy adult that is wise,
Kind and compassionate.
And now you go back to the old scene,
This old problematic scene where you tried to set a boundary,
It didn't work.
And now,
Go to your child self.
If this works,
Maybe give your child self a hug or hold your child self's hand.
Now,
Convey to your child self that you understand.
Show your child self that you really get it.
You see what they've been through.
And physically comfort your child self in the visualization.
That's right.
Might say something like,
There,
There,
There,
There,
It's okay,
It's over.
And now,
Of course,
You know your child self well.
And now,
Say the thing that your child self needs to hear.
And as you say it,
Stay in the body,
See what comes up in the body.
Keep going.
And now,
Be your child self or your earlier self and give voice to whatever is unfinished.
Give voice to whatever is still bothering you and your adult self will listen.
Again,
You're speaking from the younger self.
In the body,
Noticing the bodily sensations,
The emotions,
The thoughts.
Good.
Here in a minute,
We'll start wrapping up.
Before we do,
Just dissolve the meditation.
Get far back from the meditation.
And now,
Let's review.
So,
What was this like?
What did you learn here?
Take a moment to recite and repeat any insights you learned.
That's right.
Good.
All right,
This next piece is very important.
So,
Drawing on these insights,
These learnings from this meditation.
Now,
See your real adult life unfold before you.
And see yourself applying these insights and these insights having a positive impact on your real adult life going forward.
And as you do this,
Smile just a bit and see if you can feel this kind of confidence,
Ease and so forth.
So,
Go ahead and do that visualization for a minute.
All right.
Keep going.
Good.
Good.
Making a deep impression of that.
All right.
I'll count from five to one.
When I get to one,
You'll be awake and present in the room,
Settled in the experience.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
Awake and present in the room.
Settled in the experience.
