All right,
Go ahead and find the meditation posture.
Drawing the shoulders back and down,
Lifting the chest just a bit,
Pushing the crown of the head up towards the ceiling and tucking the chin just a bit.
And there shouldn't be any real tension in the body,
Just a kind of loose holding the body in the meditation posture.
All right,
Now take a deep,
Deep breath and exhale.
Once again,
Super deep breath in and exhale.
Good,
So in this meditation we're going to work on the experience of being misattuned with and kind of working through that,
We'll call it small t trauma of misattunement,
Understanding how it's affected us and so forth,
Or can I maybe heal it?
And we're going to be a little bit more somatic in the meditation.
So all right,
So bring to mind an experience of misattunement,
Feeling misunderstood,
Feeling like you couldn't get your point across or that the other person,
He wasn't interested.
Now bring that to mind.
Now notice how that impacts the body,
A special attention to the face and neck and head.
Is there a turning towards or a turning away from?
And whatever you notice,
Get the sense of being held.
Now the perfect nurtures,
They're just helping you contain your experience so that you can slow it down and understand it.
You can kind of notice the head and the neck,
The face.
When you remember not being understood,
Is there like kind of a grimacing,
A turning towards or turning away?
Notice all that for just a moment.
Okay,
Now bring up the experience of being misunderstood again.
And now see if there's like a kind of a quality of shock,
A quality of like,
What,
What?
Like,
Oh,
I'm not understood and shock in a negative way,
Obviously.
If so,
Where do you,
Where do you feel that in the body?
And once again,
Have the perfect nurtures,
They're containing you,
Holding you in your experience.
Okay,
Right now,
One more time,
We'll go back to this experience of misattunement,
Not being understood,
Not being able to get your point across,
Not being seen.
So there you are,
And then you're trying to be understood.
And then notice just this kind of,
There's this kind of activation and trying to put your point forth,
Or maybe it's something different,
But notice that.
Also,
Notice your view of self.
How are you thinking about yourself in that moment?
And as you see that view of self,
What emotions come up and what does that feel like in the body?
There might be an attempt to be kind of powerful and push your point across,
There might be this kind of collapsing into kind of being a nobody,
Maybe not having a right to try to be understood.
There might be lots of confusion,
But just be with that and get this sense of being contained around that.
All right,
And now,
Now see your model of other.
How do you view the other in the moment where you're being misunderstood?
In this moment,
The other is such and such.
Keep going,
Keep investigating and notice what comes up in the body and the emotions that come up around this view of other.
Good,
Good.
All right,
Now the view of other,
How does it make you feel?
And then what kind of body resonance comes up around that?
Notice the face,
The neck,
The head,
The chest,
The heart area.
That's right.
Okay,
Good.
All right,
So now,
One more time,
Bring up the situation and this can be kind of an amalgamation,
A composite memory of not being understood,
Of being misattuned with.
Notice the face,
Maybe it grimaces,
The neck,
The head,
The chest,
Also have the perfect nurturers there containing you,
Helping you be with your own experience.
Good.
All right,
And now,
In this scene where you're being misunderstood,
Notice what it is that you really want in the scene.
Really touch into that and then notice how the body reacts to seeing what you want.
Notice the face,
The neck,
The chest.
One more time,
What is it in that moment that you want?
It might be just something like be understood,
Be reassured,
Be reassured of the relationship or whatever it is,
But give voice to what it is that you want.
All right,
And now,
Still holding what it is that you want,
How does the other respond in this scene where you feel misunderstood?
And as you see the response of the other,
What does the face do,
The neck,
The head,
The chest?
Just one more time,
Checking in with what you want,
So likely it's something about being understood,
Seeing in slow motion how the other responds to that desire,
And then really focusing on how that affects you,
Their response,
What comes up in the body.
Good.
And then,
How do you actually respond outwardly?
So we've examined how you respond inwardly to their response to you,
But then how do you behave given their response to your desire?
Is there like a panicky convincing of the other or a kind of collapse into denying what you wanted,
Sort of blaming?
Notice all of this,
Whatever it is,
And then the resonance in the body.
Okay?
Good.
All right,
Now,
Dissolve that scene,
And now it's just you and the perfect nurturer.
It can either be the mother or the father,
So the perfect nurturer is with you now.
And really feel into how they're containing you.
You're a little stirred up,
And now they contain you,
And this helps you really be in your experience,
And as the scene unfolds,
You can give voice to what this was like.
Explain it to them,
And they're going to understand.
That's right,
Keep going.
And to prompt you,
You might finish the sentence like,
Oh,
When I'm feeling misunderstood,
I feel like I need to do this,
I feel this way,
The body feels such and such way.
Just explain that to the perfect nurturer.
As you're explaining it,
You're being held in every sense of the word.
Keep going.
And also,
Notice how the perfect nurturer is understanding you.
This is a little bit of a juxtaposition with your experience of being misunderstood.
See if you can really take that in.
Good.
Good,
Make a deep impression of that.
All right,
So here in a moment,
We'll move on and end the meditation.
But before we do,
Dissolve the whole scene,
And now look back.
What was this like?
What did you learn here?
What were the insights?
Good.
Okay,
Making a deep impression of that.
Okay,
I'll count from five to one.
When I get to one,
You'll be awake and present in the room,
Settled in the experience.
Five,
Four,
Three,
Two,
One.
Awake and present in the room.
Settled in the experience.
