Perfect Nurturer Reinforcement With Somatic Emphasis

With an emphasis on feeling into the body, this meditation aims to bring the resource of imaginal parents more to life by imagining what a perfect inner parent would be like. We are guided to experience attunement, joy, compassion, and confidence.

Transcript

Go ahead and find the meditation posture.

Push the crown of the head up towards the ceiling and start settling in.

And now take a really,

Really deep breath.

Retain the breath below the navel.

And now exhale.

And once again,

Super deep breath in.

Retain the breath below the navel.

And exhale.

And then once again,

Super deep breath in.

Retain the breath below the navel.

And exhale.

We're first going to develop love towards an easy to love object.

Then we'll move on to the perfect nurture reinforcement meditation.

But so now bring to mind an easy to love object.

This will either be a child age of five or less,

Or like a pet,

An animal,

Something like that.

Bring them to mind.

And now,

When you see them,

And you see them right now,

They're right in front of you.

You just can't help but smile.

Now actually smile,

Physically smile,

And now feel that smile in the body,

Like actually inside of the body in the internal space of the body.

And now your beloved sees you.

And they love you too.

And they also see how you're so sweet and loving towards them.

So they just smile so sweetly.

You're both just so happy to be with each other.

Good.

And now what we're gonna do is we're just gonna repeat a mantra.

We're gonna say,

May you be safe and happy,

May you be safe and happy.

And as you say that,

Like there's like light emanating from you towards the beloved.

So start with your mantra.

May you be safe and happy.

May you be safe and happy.

And they're just taking that in.

And this is totally reciprocated.

Keep going with the mantra.

May you be safe and happy.

May you be safe and happy.

And you can see what a deep impact this has on the beloved.

They're so comfortable,

So settled,

So happy.

Now really take that in.

So this is love.

This is friendliness.

Okay,

And now imagine that some sort of suffering has come up for the beloved.

That the beloved is upset for some reason.

And now lean in,

Tilt the head and say,

Oh,

What's wrong?

I see that you're upset.

And now from the deepest place in your being,

Say,

How can I help?

How can I help?

And now feel that in the heart.

How can I help?

And now imagine that the beloved explains the source of upset.

And this doesn't have to be realistic in this case,

Even if you're beloved as an animal,

They can talk.

And then see,

And then you really get it.

And now they see that you get it.

And that's deeply validating.

Also,

They see how they have an impact on you.

And now physically soothe and comfort the beloved.

And then we can repeat a verbalization or a mantra.

This is helpful.

Say,

May you be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.

May you be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.

May you be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.

So repeat that over and over as you're tending to and soothing and attuning to the beloved.

May you be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.

May you be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.

Really take that in.

And now notice the impact that that has on the beloved.

Beloved really feels seen and known,

Really feels comforted,

Supported.

And now,

Due to your care,

Due to your attunement,

Physical soothing and compassion,

The beloved is starting to feel better.

They're coming out of their suffering.

And now this is a shared experience.

This reinforces the sense of belonging and even family.

Okay,

And now make a deep impression of that.

Okay.

And now you become a child and you take the place of the beloved.

And your perfect nurturers take the place that you had occupied as an adult.

And now see how the perfect nurturers feel towards you exactly the same way that you felt towards the beloved.

Now go ahead and see that very clearly.

This is really obvious in the scene.

Notice how there is this sweet,

Trustworthy interest in you.

They're so interested,

So happy to be there.

Also,

When they look at you,

They just can't help but smile.

You are a source of joy.

And also this interest,

This delight that they feel towards you is really sweet and trustworthy.

Now go ahead and see that in the scene.

Make the scene in such a way that it's compelling and clear to you.

Now really notice and feel what this is like in the body.

What impact does this have on your body and mind?

Notice how this helps you settle.

Okay.

And now notice how based on this sweet,

Trustworthy interest,

They also,

You know,

They ask,

Oh,

Hey,

What's going on?

How are you doing?

They kind of watch your face.

They notice your behaviors in a really sweet and interested way.

And then in the scene,

Go ahead and tell them what's coming up for you,

How you're feeling.

And then see how they really get it.

So interested.

That's right.

And now we're going to change the scene and now bring to mind some sort of unresolved suffering.

Maybe it's some sort of suffering that's acute and in the moment,

You know,

That's going on in your life,

Or it can be some sort of repetitive source of suffering that's gone on for years.

Go ahead and bring that up now and actually let yourself get emotionally dysregulated,

Actually bring up the suffering and get upset about it.

There might be a tightening of the body.

Okay.

And now the perfect nurturers see you're upset.

They see your suffering.

And they lean in,

Tilt the head.

They say,

Oh,

You're suffering.

And now they really get it.

And of course,

They physically soothe you in just the right way,

In a way that's perfectly calibrated to your needs right now.

Go ahead and see that in the scene.

And now given how they're attuning to you and comforting you,

Responding to you,

Give voice to what is most unfinished for you.

Go ahead and give voice to whatever this is.

Explain it to them.

That's right.

Keep giving voice.

And now see how they just attuned to you just perfectly.

They're so attentive,

Leaning in,

Tilting the head,

Nodding sweetly.

They really want to understand the way that you view it.

And now really keep giving voice to this.

That's right.

And they keep attuning to you and they keep physically soothing you.

And now what is that like in the body?

Notice how that relaxes the body.

That there's this loosening and opening up.

A deeper settling inside the body.

Really feel into that.

And so now keep giving voice to whatever brought about this suffering,

Whatever is most unfinished around this.

That's right.

Okay.

And now,

Now they respond and say just the thing that you need to hear.

So go ahead and develop that scene where they say the thing that you just most need to hear.

And as they say it,

Have them physically comfort you and then really notice the impact on the body and on the mind.

Notice how this loosens up the body.

How the fascia relax,

Open.

They're just so happy to be with you and give you this guidance.

And they also know that you're going to move through this just fine.

Now keep developing the scene.

If you,

If you need to give voice one more time to what's coming up,

You can do that.

Or if they speak to you,

That's also fine.

Develop the scene.

That's right.

Keep going.

Okay.

And now notice how you start,

You know,

You've given voice to this,

You've been attended to,

You're soothed,

The body has started to relax a little bit more.

And now you really start to feel a bit better.

You're coming back into emotional regulation.

And now the perfect nurturers see this.

And you feeling better is a great source of happiness for them.

And they just smile.

They're so happy.

You're feeling better.

And now at this point,

You've,

You've all been through quite a lot.

Like the suffering came up,

They soothe you,

They guided you through it.

You resolve that the body is feeling better.

You're more emotionally regulated.

They've rejoiced about your being happier and more emotionally regulated.

And so there's really the sense of having been through a lot with each other.

And now this reinforces the sense of belonging and shared experience.

And now really feel into what that's like in the body to have this sense of belonging and share experience.

You're a part of a family.

And even notice how your physical and mental states synchronize and entrain,

Like kind of sync up with the mental and physical states of the perfect nurturers.

When you were upset,

There was a response of concern.

Now that you're happy,

They're just so happy.

Once again,

There's this deep sense of connection.

This deep sense of connection.

It has an impact on your body and your mind.

I want you to really notice that right now.

Notice how you relax and settle and open and loosen from the very core of your being.

Good.

Now we're going to do a different kind of exercise.

So dissolve that scene.

And in this exercise,

We're going to kind of metabolize and some shame and really experience unconditional love.

Okay.

And to be clear,

You're not going to be saying this out loud.

You're not going to be writing the content into the chat.

So you're going to,

This is private to you,

But go ahead and bring up maybe some behavior of your some character trait of yours that you're really not proud of.

Okay.

And so now.

Let the perfect nurturers know what this thing is,

What this source of shame is.

And now also notice how the body tightens up.

Notice how there's a kind of cringy reaction.

Notice how maybe there's a part of these like,

Oh no,

I'll be rejected.

I can't admit this.

And also notice how there's just generally suffering around us.

Notice this tightness and contraction in the body and in the mind.

Okay.

And now the perfect nurturers kind of turn to you and they say,

Okay,

That's all right.

And now I now see how their response to you is fundamentally unaffected.

That they love you just the same and they just see this source of shame or this thing that you admitted about yourself.

That that's just a product of suffering and maybe some bad decisions,

But it's no big deal.

And they really get it.

And they actually,

More than anything,

They attune to the fact that there is suffering in you about this.

So they lean in and they tilt the head and they go,

This is,

This bothers you a little bit.

Okay.

We understand.

And then they physically soothe you just the right way.

Go ahead and develop that scene.

And now give voice to what is most unfinished about this situation for you.

Go ahead and voice it to the perfect nurturers.

That's right.

Keep going.

Yeah.

They get it.

They totally get it.

Sure.

They lean in and tilt the head and nod sweetly.

Sure.

And they physically soothe you.

And look,

They can acknowledge,

Okay,

Maybe this was a bad decision in some way,

But this is not who you are.

Who you are is actually a delight to them.

Okay.

And now really notice what this is like in the body and in the mind to be attuned to,

To be loved and accepted unconditionally.

Now really feel this in the body.

What's this like?

That's right.

Really taking this in.

And now one more time,

Give voice to what is most unfinished about this for you.

And now see how the perfect nurturers,

They really get it.

They nod their heads sweetly and they physically comfort you.

And like one more time,

See how it is so obvious that they accept you just the same,

That they accept you and love you unconditionally.

See that.

And now notice the effect that that has on the body and the mind.

Notice how there's a deep relaxing of the core of your being.

And they see how you're doing better.

You're coming into emotional regulation.

You're,

You're feeling better.

And that is such a delight for them.

They're so happy you're doing better.

And this once again reinforces the sense of belonging,

Shared experience,

The sense of family.

And now notice the impact that that has on the body and the mind.

And I'll make a deep impression of that.

And now see yourself in your real adult life going forward.

See yourself moving through life,

But your whole life is colored by all of these positive experiences that you've had in this meditation.

See how others delight in you.

Others connect with you easily.

See how you're a delight to others and others are a delight to you.

Also how you have an effect on others.

You have an impact on others.

There's real contact between you and other people in your life.

And all of this reinforces a positive sense as to who you are.

It confirms high self-esteem.

You feel good about yourself.

And it also reiterates a sense of agency.

You can really have an impact on the world.

And now make a deep impression of this.

Really feel this in the body.

Okay.

Count from five to one.

When I get to one,

You'll be awake and present in the room,

Settled in the experience.

Five,

Four,

Three,

Two,

One.

Awake and present in the room,

Settled in the experience.

.

Reviews

Thank you! Experiencing this amount of love, care and attunement was a beautiful experience. ❤️🙏

This is a fantastic resource for cultivating amd learning how to self love.

The perfect nurturers are aspects of myself. I'm my own family. I can give that to myself. I don't need to wait for anyone else.