Perfect Nurturer Reinforcement
This meditation aims to bring the resource of imaginal parents more to life by imagining what a perfect inner parent would be like. We are guided to experience attunement, joy, compassion, and confidence.
Transcript
So sit up straight.
Push the crown of the head up towards the ceiling.
And now start settling in.
Now go ahead and take a super deep breath in.
Retain the breath below the navel.
And now exhale,
Extending the length of the exhale.
Okay,
Now one more time,
Super deep breath in.
Retain the breath.
And exhale,
Extending the length of the exhale.
Okay,
Then one more time,
Super deep breath in.
Retain the breath below the navel.
And now exhale,
Extending the length of the exhale.
Okay,
Good.
Now sitting up straight.
Now float back to childhood.
Find yourself between the ages of one and five years old.
And you're in a totally safe place.
Go ahead and imagine that safe place.
Now make this as vivid as possible.
Notice what that safe place feels like.
Notice what it smells like.
Notice the sounds.
Once again,
Notice what it looks like.
Now really make all of this vivid.
Also notice how you're in total control of your safe place.
Every aspect of the scene you control.
And now notice the impact of being here in your safe place.
Notice the impact on the body and on the mind.
Notice how it really helps you settle.
That's right.
Really feeling into that.
Now the safety and security of the safe place,
Again,
Is felt in the body.
Notice how there are tensions in your body right now.
But how being in the safe place helps you release those tensions.
They start opening up.
Okay,
Good.
Now imagine a perfect nurturer.
It could be male or female.
Doesn't matter.
Now have them approach you now.
And as they're approaching you,
What you notice about them is that they're interested in you in a way that is really sweet and trustworthy.
Notice that now.
So safe.
So trustworthy.
Really notice that now.
Feeling into that.
So safe.
And now they actually come to you.
And the first thing that they do is they kind of lean in,
Tilt the head,
Say,
Oh,
What are you up to?
What's going on?
How are you?
And now this is really interesting.
You can feel their interest,
Their sweet,
Attentive interest.
You can actually feel that kind of deeply in the body.
You can feel it in the mind.
How are you?
And they say,
Oh,
It's so good to see you.
And you can see that it is a light for them to be with you.
So happy.
So attentive.
Okay.
And now,
Now they are physically affectionate with you in a way that really works for you.
Oh,
And then also you can have,
At this point,
You can have another perfect nurturer come in or it doesn't really matter the number.
You can either work with one or two or even three.
Okay.
So now they're physically affectionate with you in a way that is just right for you.
Now go ahead and develop that scene.
That's right.
Really feeling into that.
Feeling deeply,
Deeply soothed.
That's right.
And now also this physical soothing that you're getting from the perfect nurturers.
You can tell that it kind of has a deep impact on you.
And it makes you feel very connected with them.
Totally present and connected with them.
And what's more is there's,
Because of the proximity,
Because of the connection,
There's even a sense of,
Where you can feel how your mental and physical states synchronize,
Sync up with theirs.
There's this deep,
Deep sense of shared experience.
I really feel into that.
Now feel how this experience imprints on you deeply.
That's right.
Really feeling into that now.
Good,
Good.
And now,
Now bring up some sort of suffering,
Some sort of upset in your life.
We're going to have the perfect nurturers soothe us around that.
So go ahead and find this piece of suffering and actually let it make you upset.
Touch into that upset now.
That's right.
Okay.
And so now the perfect nurturers come to you.
They see that you are upset.
They attune to you.
They really get it.
And now you can even do this out loud.
Give voice to whatever is most upsetting,
Whatever is most unfinished for you.
Give voice to that now and the perfect nurturers will pay attention.
That's right.
Keep going.
Now,
As you're giving voice,
Really see how they get it.
They nod their heads sweetly,
Kind of tilt the head,
Lean in.
Now this is really important.
I want you to really feel what it's like to be understood,
To be seen and known and supported.
What is that like?
Perfect nurturers are so happy to be there with you and they get it.
Of course you're upset.
Anybody would be upset about this matter that you brought up,
Of course.
Now really dig that in.
That's right.
Keep going.
That's right.
So now keep giving voice to what is most unfinished about this source of suffering for you.
There they are totally getting it,
Nodding their heads sweetly,
Leaning in.
And while you're giving voice to this,
They physically soothe you in just the right way.
Keep developing the scene,
Keep giving voice.
That's right.
Keep going.
Keep developing the scene.
Now they tell you just the thing that you need to hear.
Will start to help you feel a little bit better about this.
They go ahead and say that now to you.
And as they say that,
They also physically soothe you.
Now you can really take this in.
You feel that deeply in the body.
There's a release,
An opening,
A settling.
Keep developing the scene.
That's right.
Keep going.
Keep developing the scene.
That's right.
Good.
And now,
Given all the care from the perfect nurturer,
They're really actually starting to feel a little bit better.
Now they see that.
And you feeling better is such a delight.
That is all they want.
They just want you to feel better.
And now you are feeling better.
Now you can see that they just smile at it and they just can't help but smile.
They're so happy for you.
Now this is really important.
Feel in to how this is a shared experience.
There's this deep sense of connection.
This deep entrainment and synchronization of mental and physical states between you and the perfect nurturer.
You're both feeling joy and connection.
Now really feel into that.
And now feel into how this penetrates into every cell of your being.
That's right.
Really feeling this.
And making a deep,
Deep impression of this.
Okay.
Good.
Good.
And now dissolve that scene.
Now this might seem a bit weird but we're going to work on shame and rejection.
Go ahead and bring up some source of shame.
Something you're ashamed about.
So bring that to mind now.
And now notice how there's a part of you that thinks others will reject you for this thing that's supposedly shameful about you.
Notice that.
Feel into that.
There is a part of you that expects rejection.
Now go ahead and tell the perfect nurturers about this source of shame.
Now keep explaining it to them.
But now notice how they do not reject you at all.
Not one bit.
And actually their view on this matter is this is just unresolved suffering.
And when they see you suffering they respond with attunement and soothing.
They just want you to feel better.
So totally present.
So totally there for you.
So now go ahead and give voice to whatever is most unfinished about this source of suffering.
About this source of shame for you.
Give voice to that and the perfect nurturers will listen,
Attune,
And also physically soothe you.
And now.
That's right.
Keep developing the same.
That's right.
And now keep giving voice to whatever is most unfinished about this source of shame.
And then as you're giving voice really see how they get it.
This is so important.
In no way would they ever reject you for this.
Never.
And they just keep physically soothing you.
Keep giving voice.
That's right.
Keep going.
Keep developing the same.
That's right.
And now I tell you just the thing that you need to hear in order to let this go.
Go ahead and tell you that now.
Go ahead and develop that scene.
That's right.
Now keep going.
And you can really take in this support.
And now notice how you are totally seen and known.
This is so important.
Totally unconditionally accepted.
Now really take that in.
Make this extremely clear for you.
You are totally seen and known and accepted.
Just as you are.
Now really notice that.
Feel that in the body.
That's right.
And now make a deep,
Deep impression of this.
And now you are starting to feel better.
And the perfect nurturers see that.
And they can't help but smile.
How wonderful.
How wonderful that you are feeling better.
That you are feeling better and they are rejoicing and you are feeling better.
And now this creates a deep,
Deep sense of connection.
Of entrainment and even synchronization of mental and physical states between you and the perfect nurturers.
Now really feel into that now.
You are all so happy that you are feeling better.
And now make a deep impression of this.
That's right.
That's right.
Now feel into what all the lessons were that you learned in this meditation.
What are the take home messages?
What was this meditation like for you?
And now see yourself applying these lessons.
Kind of living from this more positive view of yourself,
Of others in the world.
But now you actually see yourself moving through your real adult life going forward.
The kind of imbued with,
Informed by all these positive experiences with the perfect nurturers.
So first,
See how it's so much easier to connect with others.
Notice how with others,
People in your real life,
There is a sense of mutual attunement and understanding.
Notice that and feel that in the body.
So easy to connect with others.
So notice a sense of feeling part of the group.
That you share so many commonalities with others.
That there is a sense of belonging.
Now notice the impact that that has on your body and mind.
Now also notice that there is this quality of delight,
That you delight in being with others.
And others delight in being with you.
Now see that in the scene and then feel that in the body.
That's right.
Now make a deep impression of all of this.
Okay good.
I'll count from five to one.
When I get to one,
You'll be awake and present in the room,
Settled in the experience.
Five,
Four,
Three,
Two,
One.
Wake up.
