Okay,
So what we're going to be doing now is a kind of meditation to kind of investigate our inner critical voices,
Understand the negative message that they tell us.
Those are the schemas.
See how we respond,
Like how we cope with those negative messages.
Those are the coping modes.
And then we're going to bring up an emotionally corrective experience that disconfirms all that.
So just go ahead and straighten up,
Push the crown of the head up towards the ceiling.
And we'll start with three really deep breaths,
And then we'll get into the meditation.
Go ahead and inhale very,
Very deeply and retain the breath.
Retain the breath below the navel.
And now exhale,
Extending out the exhale.
Okay,
Once again,
Inhale very deeply,
Retain the breath,
And now exhale.
And now inhale one more time,
Very deeply.
Retain the breath below the navel,
Exhale.
So again,
We're going to kind of,
We're going to do an exercise that's drawing a lot from coherent therapy,
But using schema therapy terminology.
Okay,
So identify first a behavior in your life that you,
That you,
That you find as unskillful,
Neurotic,
Kind of stereotyped and repetitive that you keep doing,
Even though you don't really want to do it.
What is that behavior?
You can write it down if you like.
Do a scene where you're doing the behavior.
Likely,
There'll be an element of avoidance,
Overcompensation,
Or surrender.
Could be a combination as well.
Go ahead and see that,
Name that.
What is this behavior?
Now,
When you're in this behavior,
Right,
You're acting this out.
What are the beliefs about self,
Other,
And world that come up?
This is your schema.
So again,
You're in this behavior,
And then the beliefs that you have about self,
Other,
And world,
That is your schema.
Go ahead and say that out loud in a way that kind of is evocative to you.
Also it can be multiple schemas.
Keep kind of saying a phrase out loud that helps you really capture this schema.
And now,
One more time,
See how,
When you're believing this schema,
Your behavior is either necessary or just an unintended consequence of the schema.
See that clearly now.
This is very important.
This is actually part of the integration function of metacognition.
Seeing how it all fits together.
And just see for a second how anybody else with this belief may well act out the same way that you do.
Go ahead and just see that clearly.
It makes perfect sense.
Okay.
So now go back to the schema.
Kind of re-trigger yourself.
Say the phrase,
One more time,
Say the phrase that reinforces the schema.
This is really good.
It brings it into conscious awareness.
And now imagine that you're hearing this voice from an internal kind of critical parent voice.
And so here we're kind of seeing this negative parent voice as part of ourselves.
And that's a valid way of seeing it.
But now reflect on this.
Oh,
I learned this somewhere.
I learned this somewhere.
I had experiences that in a certain way installed this negative parent voice and installed this schema and is therefore making these behaviors that are kind of neurotic and that are not in my best interest,
Either necessary or just an unintended consequence.
See that clearly.
It's very important.
Okay.
Now go back to a scene where this critical message,
This critical messenger,
This critical voice is embodied in a memory where you received this message.
And to be clear,
It's likely not explicit,
The negative message.
It was implicit.
But go back to this memory.
And this can be a composite or an amalgamated memory.
So you're back in this scene.
And now make it like it's present tense.
Notice where you are,
Who you're with,
How old you are.
Notice how the way that you are treated in this scene creates and reinforces this negative parent voice and the negative belief or schema.
Go ahead and see this clearly.
See this with equanimity,
Wisdom.
And now we're going to confront not our internal voice,
But rather this external person that treated us this way,
That taught us this negative lesson.
So go ahead and confront this person.
You can have the perfect nurturers there,
Or you can do the confrontation however you want.
But really feel stood up for and protected.
That's right.
Keep going.
Tell this person how it was wrong the way that you were treated.
Let this person know this is your voice.
You can have this shitty voice back.
I'm not taking it anymore.
That's right.
Really feel stood up for and see how it wasn't right the way you were treated.
See how it's healthy and good to set a boundary.
It's good to be stood up for and have the perfect nurturers make it absolutely clear they love standing up for you.
They love supporting you.
And also hold your head up high.
Have a good posture here.
Sit up straight.
Feel good about yourself.
Okay.
And make a deep impression of this.
And now for the next 30 seconds,
See how this positive experience will reverberate in your life going forward.
It will affect everything,
Social relationships,
Explorations,
Et cetera.
See that now.
Really feel into this.
Make this a lived experience.
That's right.
Okay.
Now I'll count from five to one.
When I get to one,
You'll be awake and present in the room.
That old in the experience,
Five,
Four,
Three,
Two,
One.
Awake and present in the room.
Settled in the experience.
