General Schema Meditation

A meditation that draws on a sense of loving kindness to disconfirm schemas (negative self-beliefs). You will be guided through a series of visualisations and asked questions to help you learn about any schemas at play in your life.

Transcript

Okay,

Now we'll start with just a little bit of meta that'll help us.

So,

Imagine an easy to love object.

This will be either a child underneath the age of five,

Or a pet.

So bring this easy to love object to mind.

And now notice you just can't help but smile.

And your beloved is looking at you and you're looking at your beloved.

Like,

Oh,

May you be happy.

May you be safe and happy.

And you can be affectionate with your beloved.

Notice how you're totally receptive and responsive.

Notice what a joy,

Your beloved is to you.

Maybe you could be rocking your beloved in your arms cradling your beloved in your arms.

What a delight.

Now briefly imagine that your beloved is experiencing suffering.

And then now,

See how you just naturally want the suffering to decrease.

And there's this kind of almost this leaning and this leaning forward.

And you might even say to your beloved,

How can I help.

What can I do.

What can I do to make you or help you get through this.

Notice how you also understand the mental states of the beloved.

They're upset they're suffering.

You see that you can feel it pull on the heartstrings.

Just so totally receptive so totally open.

Good.

And now,

Have yourself as a child.

Take the position of the beloved.

And then you can have either imaginal parents,

Or the healthy adult version of yourself.

Take the position that you had been in.

It can be parents and kind of some sort of other responsive figure or self,

But if you can manage parents go with parents.

And so now,

They start sending meta towards you.

Loving kindness towards you.

May you be happy.

And now you can you can tell that their intentions towards you are wholesome and trustworthy,

Because you know that they have a sincere delight towards you.

And we protect and care for the things that are a delight to us.

See that now.

Notice how the parents really get you.

They track your mental states.

They know what's on your mind.

You feel totally safe.

Appreciated.

They're physically affectionate in a way that's just perfectly suited to you.

When they see you they can't help but have a smile towards you.

They can't help but smile.

What a joy you are.

Keep developing that scene.

And what matters here is the felt sense,

Not so much the stability or clarity of the visualization.

So trust that you're doing this right.

Okay.

Now,

Really feel the same.

Make an impression.

We'll be coming back to this shortly.

So now we're going to work on eliciting the schema or finding the negative belief.

We'll take quite a bit of time with this,

We'll do,

Hopefully,

A thorough job with this.

So,

What is a problem that has been coming up this past week for you?

What are the candidates for problems to work on?

Are these problems that have been coming up?

Oh,

Like it's one of these same problems that's come up over and over throughout life.

It's never really gotten resolved.

You keep falling into the same,

Let's say,

Problematic behavior,

Upsetting behavior.

Maybe even feel a bit defeated about it.

It's like,

Ah,

This thing keeps happening.

What am I going to do about it?

Take a minute to identify that.

Okay.

Now,

I'm going to ask you a series of questions,

And I'm going to ask you the same questions multiple times so you don't need to remember the questions.

And simply when you hear the questions,

Just investigate the question that has the deepest resonance in the moment.

So,

What are the beliefs about self?

What are the beliefs about yourself that underlie this symptom or this problematic behavior?

What are the beliefs about the world or the beliefs about others that bring about this problem?

Who am I and who is the world when I'm in the schema?

And I want you,

Here we're taking the pro symptom position.

I want you to fully believe the schema.

Naively,

Like a child,

Totally believe it.

Take a minute with this,

I'll check in with you shortly.

Keep investigating these questions.

I'll ask the same questions again.

What are the thoughts that you believe about self,

Other,

And the world when you're in this schema?

Or what do you believe about yourself when you're having to produce these symptoms?

This problematic behavior.

Now here,

Fully get into the schema.

Don't resist it whatsoever.

Don't engage any objections to this.

You want to fully open up to it.

That's right.

Keep investigating.

Keep looking.

It's okay to repeat the same pieces of information multiple times.

And now,

Start noticing the coherence.

There's a coherence to all of this.

This makes sense.

It makes sense that when you're believing these thoughts that either you have to produce these symptoms,

You have to produce these behaviors,

Or you just end up acting this way.

And bring this quality of actual appreciation.

This is interesting how the mind is.

There's something systematic about this.

Keep investigating this.

And then the language to use this is kind of childlike,

First person type language like,

I think I suck because I'm treated this shitty way or something like that.

Really unsophisticated and childlike.

And now one more time,

Notice how when you're believing this about yourself.

And then you're when you're believing the other things about the world and others,

Other people in the world,

That your symptoms your problematic behaviors make perfect sense.

Of course you respond in this negative way.

It makes perfect sense.

Really see that clearly.

Good.

And now,

Look back,

Generally,

To an earlier time in life,

Maybe childhood maybe adolescence early adulthood.

When these,

These kind of learning these emotional learnings about yourself,

Or reinforced.

And now we're not finding a specific one to focus on we're just looking at all of them.

Just bring this quality of curiosity and investigation.

And now notice how your current symptoms,

Based on your experiences.

There's a wisdom that your current symptoms help you avoid an even,

Even greater suffering.

There's this wisdom to this whole symptomology.

Makes sense given your earlier experiences to see that now.

Okay,

And now,

Pick a specific scene or memory or incident where this negative belief about yourself and the world.

God,

Reinforced.

And this can be a real memory,

Or a composite memory.

Like an amalgamated memory doesn't matter much.

So go ahead and float back to that time where this learning got reinforced.

Notice where you are.

Notice who you're with.

Notice the feelings that are rising in the body,

The emotions in the body.

Also notice how the schema,

Or the negative belief colors your whole worldview.

And that makes sense.

Of course it does.

And now,

Have the imaginal parents or some other supportive figure come into the scene.

And they can either remove you from the scene or you can stay in the scene either one is fine.

Now,

These imaginal parents are completely on your side,

Totally loyal to you.

Completely understand the suffering that you've gone through here.

They might give you physical affection in a way to soothe you,

Help you move through this.

And more than anything else there's this responsiveness and receptivity,

Unconditional.

Go ahead and develop that scene.

And now,

Have the imaginal parents or some other supportive figure come into the scene.

That's right,

Keep developing the scene.

Develop it in a way to really get your needs met.

Noticing how you're safe and protected.

Notice how attentive the parents are.

That you're backed up,

Supported,

That they're totally loyal to you.

The support is unconditional,

Uncomplicated.

And also you just get to be a child.

You don't have to worry about their mental states.

You don't have to worry about rejection.

Keep developing the scene.

That's right.

Keep supporting you,

Keep understanding you.

They keep comforting you.

And also they're totally confident that you're going to move through this.

They're very competent and confident in themselves and they're confident in you.

But they also understand all the suffering that you've gone through.

This has been very upsetting.

And I think that anybody would be upset about this,

These kind of experiences and then having to deal with these kind of difficult learnings later on in life.

And they also,

The way that they interact with you really validates this sense of your being a distinct person.

A person with your own experiences,

Your own vantage point.

There's also this quality of warm respect towards you.

Keep developing the scene.

And now you might also reflect that with the parents and then the parents see this,

Like,

Oh yeah,

The way you've dealt with this so far,

Made sense.

Sure,

This caused some problems,

But it's so obvious that the way that you have dealt with this so far,

Prevented an even greater suffering.

Also even a sense of validation about how you've dealt with this.

Like sure it's been problematic,

Sure it has some negative outcomes.

But it was the best that you could do and it was pretty good all in all.

Really connected with the body,

Connected with the emotions.

And now,

This next piece is optional,

Maybe you want to do something different but now consider going back to the original scene,

But take the imaginal parents with you.

And now there's going to be a corrective action taken.

And so now,

Either the scene will not happen,

Or there's some be some sort of like positive alternative that will happen instead.

But then,

A good,

A good correct corrective action is to actually confront the situation,

Or the people that may be treated you poorly and this will only apply to about maybe 60% of you.

But just take a corrective action.

So if somebody treated you poorly.

You can confront that person or the imaginal parents can confront you,

Confront them.

Kind of explain how this hurt you how this wasn't right.

Go ahead and do that now.

We're going to take some other sort of corrective action such that the scene never happens this negative way.

That's right,

Keep developing the scene.

And if somebody treated you poorly you can now have them apologize and acknowledge they really acknowledge exactly what happened.

They admit fault.

They see how this hurt you.

That's right,

Keep developing the scene.

Now notice there's a type of resolution there's the type of being able to see this from a broader perspective.

Now you and the parents kind of start floating away but you can still see the scene in the background.

And you can see both the kind of positive opposite resolution of the scene,

And also the negative old scene.

And it's very clear that this is in the past.

It's also very clear.

You have a lot more support.

Than you did in the past.

You're a functional adult of an intelligent functional adult that knows how to do self care that knows how to ask for help.

And now see how these old lessons,

These old learnings from the past are not relevant to you anymore.

But it all seems very small,

That you have a very broad perspective on this.

And now,

If there's some emotions coming up,

Like maybe some sadness or maybe even pride and happiness.

Have the imaginal parents see that and attune to you and support you.

And now also notice how when you were in your old schema fully believing it.

There was also this quality of awareness having collapsed down into a very narrow attention like almost like an obsessive and narrow minded attention to kind of this afflictive mental state.

And now,

Now you can see that from this place of broader open awareness.

And you'll also see how you also see how there's,

There's actually dis confirming information dis confirming evidence from your real adult life that that goes in the face of this belief,

But you hadn't seen it.

You hadn't integrated that due to the way the mind is when it's in the schema.

So now,

Have the parents remind you of this confirming facts from your real adult life that help you see how your schema is actually false.

This negative belief about self and others false go ahead and do that now.

And as you're doing this field of sense of confidence,

Pride,

Openness,

Support.

And now,

Bring to mind the positive opposite.

You know,

It doesn't have to be the exact positive opposite but some sort of,

You know,

Again the dis confirming knowledge and then the schema that underlies it like for example,

I'm loved by many,

And then this would be relative to this schema of I'm not loved or appreciated.

Now bring the positive schema to mind and really feel into it.

See how it's so true.

And now,

This is going to sound like a strange instruction but see if you can bring to mind the old negative belief and hold it in mind at the same time as a new positive belief.

Do that now.

Try to hold the negative belief and the positive belief at the same time.

This is an important step.

That's right.

Keep going.

Keep holding the two beliefs.

Holding the evidence for the two beliefs.

Good.

Reinforce the positive belief,

Both in the scene and also by reflecting on memories,

Either one is fine.

That's right.

Keep going.

Really feeling this in the body feeling this in the mind making a deep impression.

Now,

Notice how the mind is clear now.

You're not collapse down into the negative schema.

There's so much ability to take perspective.

And also notice that there's a sense of confidence and support.

Notice how during this meditation you got your needs met.

And how this colors,

How you view yourself,

And how you view the world.

Really feel into that.

And now transition into thinking about your real adult life going forward.

And imagine everything going according to plan.

See how in your adult life going forward.

That eliciting the responses from others will be so easy.

You're so totally supported.

You really know and feel into your own strength.

You see others delighting in you cooperating with you attuning to you.

Go ahead and develop that scene now.

Your whole life unfold in coherence with this new positive schema.

Keep developing that thing now.

Now this is going to seem a bit unrelated but bring to mind,

Some of the problems that you're,

You're dealing with currently.

You know,

Problems to be solved or plans to be made.

And now notice how the mind is very broad,

Panoramic.

Also notice how you are totally supported.

Really feel into that now.

And now,

See how when you bring the mind to these problems,

When you're in this expanded and supported state.

It's easy to come up with solutions.

Go ahead and actually make some plans or investigate your problems and come up with a plan around solving them,

And then see yourself solving the problems from this expanded view.

That's right.

Keep developing the scene,

See all this unfold just beautifully with this total sense of confidence and knowing that you're so supported.

Good.

Now we'll start wrapping that up.

Look ahead and with all that scene.

And now we're going to do a mindful review.

So what was this like,

What did you learn to just looking back over the whole meditation.

What are the take home messages.

And now notice also the sense of mastery.

You've had some insight.

You've worked some things out,

You can keep going with this process.

And you can really see how your life will unfold beautifully.

Feel into that now.

Now release the meditation.

Bring the attention to the rising and falling of the abdomen.

Open the eyes halfway,

But keep the attention on the rising and falling of the abdomen.

Now open the eyes entirely,

And then be present in the room.

Reviews

Another amazing mind exercise thank you guys so much.

Thank you so much! I felt energy that was stuck in my solar plexus from feeling powerless as a child in the schema exercise move through my body and release. I was able to make connections to how I wasn’t allowed to express my emotions as a kid and being shamed for feeling things to how I try and avoid these feelings as an adult now. This was awesome!

Loved this so much! Thank you for helping me gain some clarity 🙏🏻