Working With Shame And "Shoulds"

This embodied movement practice is designed to support you in working with a shame reaction, a moment in life where you felt small, stuck, or limited in some way. In this practice, I guide you to use movement, breath, and sound as a way to open up this reaction and allow the body to metabolize that energy so that you feel more capable, alive, and free.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to your Working with Shame and Shoulds audio practice.

So for this practice,

You'll want something to work with.

A moment,

An experience where you added on a layer of shame.

So there was some type of emotional energy or reactivity and you added on top of it that it should be different.

Or you should be different.

In some way you felt that you were wrong or bad for feeling this way or reacting this way.

So spending some time here to get clear on a moment,

An experience,

A situation that you want to work with where in some way you are stuck in shame or shoulding yourself in some way.

So you can pause the recording if you need time to land on something.

So when you're ready,

You'll stand and find your feet,

Really feeling them on the earth,

Maybe wiggling them,

Pressing them down into the earth,

And taking a nice full deep breath in and out.

Just starting to land here in this practice space today.

And we'll start with just generating some energy in the system.

When we are in these reactive,

Contracted spaces,

There is a lot of energy.

And so because we're practicing and not in the situation,

It's important to generate some of that energy in the body so you have something to work with.

It takes energy to change energy.

So we're going to do this by just starting to bounce at the knees.

So your feet are flat on the ground,

And you're just creating a bounce with the knees,

Starting to activate some energy and taking really full deep breaths.

Letting the body be soft,

But letting the shaking and the bouncing be a bit vigorous,

Letting the breath really be nice and full,

Right?

We're generating energy,

We're activating energy in the body.

Just a few more moments of this,

Letting out some sound on the exhale,

Really feeling how you're getting into your body,

You're waking up the system for this practice.

One more full deep breath in,

Letting out some sound on the exhale.

And then letting the bouncing subside,

Finding some stillness,

Feeling the sensations,

The tingles,

The movement,

The quality of energy.

This is the level that we work at,

The level of sensations,

Of physical sensations in the body.

So tuning into what is already here in your system today.

And really trusting that whatever you choose to work with,

Whatever arises,

Is exactly what the body needs and wants to meet.

So being curious about what unfolds,

And trusting your capacity to meet it as a body.

So you're going to start to bring the situation that you're working with to mind,

Just starting to replay it,

To see it.

If there's someone else there,

Just really noticing and feeling what this is like,

Getting right up close to it.

And as you start to replay it,

Dropping it into the body.

So starting to become it,

To really see what was happening,

Who was there,

What you were feeling.

Maybe you can even start to see what the initial energy was,

And then how you started to layer on top,

That it was bad or wrong in some way,

Your experience,

What you were feeling.

Maybe there was apologizing,

Or trying to minimize it,

Or feeling embarrassed,

Or just really getting stuck in,

It should be different,

I should be different in some way,

What's happening is not okay,

And I'm not okay.

Getting to know this layer,

Getting to know how this contracted version of shame happens in the body.

And really taking your time,

It's not comfortable to go into these moments,

So we won't stay here long,

But really get curious.

What is happening?

What is this?

Feel like,

Without trying to change it,

Just noticing.

And starting to scan the body for effort.

Feeling any areas where you are over-efforting in some way,

Where there's a contraction,

Or a tightening,

Or a congestion of energy.

Once again,

Not shifting it,

Really getting to know the effort that it takes to stop that flow of energy,

To create this contracted version of shame in the body.

And for just a few more breaths,

You're going to emphasize this effort,

Just by 20%.

Increasing the volume,

So that you can really get to know it,

Really feel how this happens in the body,

And go in and really grab the juice that is invested in this shame reaction.

Leaning into the effort,

Emphasizing it,

And then with all of your attention on the effort,

You're going to start to slowly go in and out.

So begin to soften the effort,

And then lean back into it,

Deepening your breath,

Going in and out like you're squeezing all the juice out of this shame reaction.

Letting go,

Leaning back into it,

Doing this a few times until the body starts to show you a different way,

Until it doesn't want to squeeze back in,

Or until an emotion starts to flow,

Or energy starts to move,

Or some type of impulse or movement wants to happen.

Really playing here,

Putting all your attention on the body and letting it guide you.

Continuing to breathe.

Continuing to follow the body's lead,

Bringing in more breath,

Movement,

Opening up the stuck energy that gets trapped in this contracted shame in the body.

Breathing,

Moving,

Sounding,

Meeting whatever layer is here for you.

As we undo these contracted patterns of shame,

There can be lots of layers,

So trusting whatever is arising.

Whatever you are noticing is exactly what needs to be met by you,

As a body,

With your attention,

With your movement,

With your breath.

Following the body,

Letting it lead,

Opening up this shape,

Maybe beginning to feel a little bit more of what is held in it.

Giving yourself full permission here to move,

To contact what is here as a body,

And to make it physical.

For just a few more breaths,

Moving,

With what is here for you.

And then if it feels right,

You're going to start to slow it down.

If there's still a lot you want to move with,

Pause the recording,

Keep moving.

But if it's right,

You're going to start to find more of a still experience,

Standing if you aren't already,

And just feel those sensations.

What is happening now in the body?

The little movements of energy,

The textures,

The temperature,

Directly contacting the physical sensations in your body.

And then for a few moments,

You're going to bring that situation back to your mind.

You're going to replay it.

You're going to see it.

And as you do,

Stay with your body and choose to not contract,

To not effort.

This is an art form,

So really just get curious.

You might need to bring movement or more breath or sound.

Do whatever you need to do to not go into the habituated pattern.

And just explore here for a few breaths.

If I didn't contract in this moment,

If I didn't stop the free flow of energy in my body,

What would that be like?

What would I have to feel?

Continuing to soften,

To choose to let go of effort,

Relating to this energy as a physical body that can flow,

That can open.

Then you're going to gently start to let all that go and find a place to lay down,

To rest,

To integrate.

All of the energy that opens up when we dive into this type of work,

It's really important to give it time to digest,

To settle,

To integrate into the body.

Trusting the body's natural ability to take that energy and let it flow to the places that need it.

Letting your whole body be held by the surface underneath,

Letting it rest,

The music will gently fade out and that will be the end of your practice for today.