Grief: Riding The Waves

This guided practice is an excerpt from the Compassion Conversations live session on Insight Timer.

Grief is a powerful emotion and transformative experience. The more we can be compassionately present with our grief, the more space we have around it. In this practice we create safety in the body with breath and awareness, ultimately centering in the heart to allow space for grief to be known. Throughout our practice, we work with an intention to hold permission and compassion for our full experience.

Transcript

I will invite you to go ahead and get comfortable and take a few moments.

And today you can do,

I encourage you to do this practice lying down if you're able to today or you can do this seated,

Whatever is going to be most comfortable for your body.

If you are lying down,

I invite you to put a blanket or a bolster underneath the knees just to take pressure off the low back and to place a thin pillow or a blanket beneath the head just to offer support so that the neck isn't strained.

So you want the body to feel fully supported.

And if you're seated,

Go ahead and finding something to lean back on so that your back is supported.

Maybe the back of a chair,

A wall,

Headboard of the bed,

Whatever feels most comfortable,

But just that you're supported.

And going ahead and placing a blanket over you or a shawl around you so that the body feels warm.

When we cover ourselves in this way,

We invite the nervous system to gently soften and to gently invite ease into the body.

We're going ahead and making any final adjustments,

Letting yourself get as comfortable and cozy as you possibly can.

And then once you're there,

If it feels welcome to you,

Go ahead and close your eyes as an invitation to move inward,

Stepping away from the input and activity of the world around you,

And then inviting a nice full breath in through the nose,

Just feeling the chest rise slightly with the inhale.

Hold the breath for just a moment and then open the mouth and slowly exhale with a softening through the forehead,

Around the eyes,

The jaw,

Even releasing the tongue.

And then inviting another nice steady inhale,

Feeling the belly rise,

The heart expand.

Hold for a moment and open the mouth,

Sigh it out,

Audibly releasing,

Softening through the neck and the shoulders and the chest,

All the way down to the fingertips.

Inviting one more full breath in like this,

In through the nose,

Pause at the top receiving that gift of breath.

Open the mouth,

Sigh it out,

Exhale,

Allowing the body to sink into the support beneath you,

Feeling fully supported as the breath finds a natural rhythm,

Each breath flowing fluidly one after the other,

And just finding a gentle rhythm,

Bringing the awareness now gently into the top of the head,

Forehead,

And then aware of the point between the eyebrows,

The eyes,

Allowing the eyes to soften and sink further into the sockets,

Becoming aware of both ears,

The jaw,

Allowing the teeth to separate slightly,

The tongue finds softness in the mouth.

Just noticing the shoulders,

Allowing the shoulders to become heavy,

Both arms,

Hands,

All 10 fingers softening,

Sinking down into the support beneath you,

Using the upper body,

The chest and the upper back softening,

Mid-back,

Low back,

Abdomen,

The whole torso softening,

Becoming heavy,

Feeling the hips and the pelvis and the buttocks softening.

With each exhale,

The hips sink further into the support beneath you,

Feeling fully supported.

The next exhale,

Both upper legs soften,

Knees softening,

Lower legs and the calves soften,

The backs of the heels,

Tops of the feet,

Soles of the feet,

All 10 toes soften and release,

And then gently scanning the body,

Head to toe and toe to head,

Just noticing if there are any areas of tension or discomfort,

Naming that tension,

Acknowledging it as you imagine the breath traveling into that space,

And as you exhale,

Inviting that to soften.

So you might say,

Oh,

Hello,

Shoulder,

I see you,

Breathing into the shoulder,

Letting go.

We're into the low back,

Hello,

Back,

I see you,

Breathing into the spine,

And softening on the exhale.

Deciding to do this with any area of the body that feels tense or uncomfortable,

Allowing the whole body,

The whole body to feel fully supported and useful.

Gently returning the awareness to the breath and feeling the breath flowing in and out through the heart.

Gently breathing into the heart and exhaling out from the heart,

Holding awareness here in the heart center.

If it feels welcome to you,

You might feel drawn to place a hand there,

And if not,

Keep the hands at the side or in your lap,

Wherever they feel most comfortable.

So imagine holding your heart with tenderness as you invite an awareness of a loss or a pain for which you carry grief,

Becoming aware of the feeling of grief awakening in the heart,

Allowing the story or images or sensations and feeling tones that ride the waves of grief to appear naturally.

And acknowledge each of them as they arrive,

Allowing the grief and its feeling tones to be present.

You might even say,

It's okay to feel this.

It's okay to feel this,

Allowing the emotions and images to flow in layer by layer in their own rhythm,

Continuing to soften the jaw and soften the shoulders,

Just allowing all the feelings to move as they need to.

You might notice anger,

Heaviness,

Restlessness,

Welcome at all.

It's okay to feel this.

As you feel resistance,

Exhaling into that space,

Feeling the breath move and soften,

Allowing space for the feeling to flow.

It's okay to feel this.

May my breath and this feeling flow like a river.

May my breath and this feeling flow like a river,

Allowing the whole story,

The whole feeling,

The whole experience to be with you in the heart.

You might even say,

This is my grief.

This is real.

This is valid.

It's okay to feel this.

May my breath and this feeling flow like a river.

As you exhale,

Sense that you're holding your tender heart,

Envisioning the heart surrounded in soft light being held in kindness and passion and understanding,

Kindness for it all,

For you,

For others.

Let this grief that you carry is part of the grief of the world.

Allow it to be here.

Feeling it gently in warm light and the tenderness of your heart.

It's okay to feel this grief and my breath and this feeling flow like a river.

It's okay to feel this.

May my breath and this feeling flow like a river.

You can allow space for this experience,

This emotion,

These tears.

As you breathe into the heart,

You might notice that there's something here that feels like it wants to be spoken,

Witnessed,

Or heard.

Allowing yourself to whisper into the heart,

Imagining the focus of your grief resting in your heart,

Speaking what you would like to say.

It's okay.

It's okay to let go.

It's okay to speak your truth.

It's okay to feel this.

May my breath and this feeling flow like a river.

Allowing to the heart,

It's okay to feel this.

Gently bringing attention back to the flow of the breath and feeling it flowing like a river.

Each breath riding a wave,

A ripple through the whole body.

Each inhale moving into the heart,

Each exhale opening,

Expanding.

Finding the pulsation of the wave of the breath and bringing with that an image of a color that you associate with healing,

A color that you associate with love,

Tenderness,

Acceptance.

You might visualize this color flowing into the body with each inhale circulating through the heart and the lungs and the whole body riding the wave of the breath as you exhale,

Releasing this moment into the past.

Breathing in this color of love,

Light,

Healing,

Acceptance,

And exhaling.

Using this color through the body with the breath as you release the moment into the past.

Continuing to breathe in this way for a few moments,

Visualizing this color of healing and love flowing through the body with the inhale,

Filling every cell in the body,

73 trillion cells filled with a healing light.

Sensing a whole body,

A whole body radiant,

Filled with light as you call your name to yourself,

Stating your name,

And then saying,

Right now,

This moment you're okay,

This pain is okay,

And you're not alone.

I'm here for you.

I love you.

Calling your name to yourself,

And then right now at this moment you're okay.

The pain is okay.

You're not alone.

I'm here for you.

I love you.

Calling your name to yourself.

Right now at this moment you're okay.

This pain is okay.

You're not alone.

I am here for you.

I love you.

Seeing the vibration of these words moving through the body,

Riding the waves of the breath through the fully supported body,

And gently returning the awareness to the flow of the breath in and out through the nose.

And again,

Sitting with this gentle welcoming phrase,

It's okay to feel this.

May my breath and this feeling flow like a river.

It's okay to feel this.

May my breath and this feeling flow like a river.

It's okay to feel this.

May my breath and this feeling flow like a river.

And once again,

Drawing awareness into the heart.

You might even breathe in a gentle breath of gratitude saying,

Thank you,

Heart,

For the gift of this grief,

A testament to my capacity to love.

Thank you for allowing me to honor the depth of my capacity to love.

Thank you,

Grief,

For allowing me to honor the depth of my capacity to love.

Inviting another full breath in through the nose,

Feeling the heart expand,

Radiating with the inhale.

And open the mouth and sigh out loud,

Exhale,

Allowing the whole body to sink further into the support as you let go.

Breathing in,

Exhale gently.

Scanning the body from head to toe and toe to head,

Just becoming aware of the physical body in this space.

Might notice the points of contact between your body and the support beneath you,

Shoulder blades,

Hips,

Feet,

Points of contact between your hands on the surface beneath them.

May I begin to visualize the environment around you,

Just sensing your body in space.

And bringing the thumb and the index fingers to touch,

The thumb and the center fingers to touch,

Thumb and the ring fingers to touch,

The thumb and the pinkies to touch,

And then back again,

Thumb and ring finger,

Thumb and center finger,

Thumb and index finger.

Just opening and closing the palms,

Inviting subtle movement and maybe even wiggling the toes.

And on the next inhale,

If it feels okay for you,

Reaching the arms up overhead into a long stretch,

And exhale,

Releasing the arms.

And if you're seated,

Just resting your hands,

Palms face up on the legs,

Taking a few breaths here in and out through the heart.

If you're lying down,

I want you to draw the knees into the chest and give them a hug.

You might even roll side to side until you roll over to one side or the other.

You pause there in that fetal position just for a moment,

Allowing this transition.

And then taking the hand that's closest to the sky and pressing it onto the earth in front of the heart and using that to help bring you back into a seated position.

Once we're all seated,

How about you do,

Keeping the eyes closed,

Bring the palms of the hands together in front of the heart and rubbing them together,

Letting them get nice and warm,

Generating a good amount of heat.

Once they're good and warm,

Placing one hand over the heart and the other hand on top of that hand.

You're holding your heart with warmth.

And taking a few breaths here as you tenderly hold your healing heart,

Just feeling the warmth of your own embrace.

And then the next exhale,

Taking the top hand and wrapping it around the abdomen.

So you have one hand on the heart and one on the abdomen and just holding here.

Letting the belly and the chest rise with the inhale.

As you sigh out an exhale,

Feeling the body soften.

Just noticing the effects in the body,

In the heart of this communion with grief.

It's okay to feel this.

May my breath and this feeling flow like a river.

A nice inhale through the nose,

Gently open the mouth,

Exhale,

Sigh it out,

Gently tuck chin to chest and pause here.

Inviting a soft grin to form on the lips,

A very gentle grin that says,

I see you.

And you're welcome here as you are.

And gently opening your eyes so that you see you.

You see your own legs,

You see your own hands and let that receive that warm grin.

And gently bringing your gaze back upward.

I'm seeing that you're here held in community,

Received fully.

Welcome back.

Welcome back to this beautifulBlack Internetiola on Google Play.

Welcome back.

Reviews

Very relaxing and beautiful. Loved the affirmations toward the end

Thank you for this gentle, helpful, guided meditation. I would highly recommend it for anyone hoping to create a safe, empowering, nourishing space to experiencing their grief.

Thans you so much for letting my feelings flow and be as they are...

This facilitated an amazing experience of Grace. Thank you!

Thank you! This helped me begin to see, accept and release what I’ve been shoving down.

Thanks Patty for this meditation. And since grief isn’t a one time done deal, I know I’ll revisit this one again. So much appreciation for your support and presence on IT. You’ve helped me immensely.🙏🏼

This one is pretty good! But to make it even better consider changing heeling to peeling, like a tangerine of light!

So beautiful and helpful for the grief I feel just now. Thank you.xx

Magical ✨✨✨ Thank youuu ma’am. I felt so supported by your facilitation and voice.

This helped today to feel, allow, and accept my feelings of grief. Thank you.

Thank you, Patty. I needed this today and will continue to listen in the coming days and weeks of a fresh, raw grief. Thank you for this beautiful meditation.

Thank you Patty! I will return to this as I begin the grief journey for my dear mom.❤️‍🩹.

Thank you dear Patty for always giving us your heartfelt support. I especially appreciated this meditation this morning as I am grieving the sudden loss of my 6 year old cat which brought up past losses. I have always found comfort in your ‘live’ meditations anchored by your soothing voice.🙏💗

A lovely guided meditation that lets difficult feelings emerge, with a lot of self love and support included, and a slow return to the solid here and now.

Thank you! This meditation really helped me to release my grief and emotions!

Thankyou for creating a safe and compassionate space to process grief.

This really helped me to touch into the grief and nurture it. Thank you for guiding me ✨

What a beautiful coming together and letting go. It was what I needed to balance my emotions today. Thank you. ❤️

Thank you for creating this very special meditation to allow me to hold space for my grief 💕💕💕

Thank you for providing so much comfort during this time. I've listened to this many times and it's beautiful & helpful every time. I hope to hear more from you.🙏