How Wisdom Deepens Love | Ven Canda

Ven Canda talks about how wisdom and love interact and mutually reinforce each other. With wisdom, we can see the obstacles and deepen our metta as a consequence. The phrases of metta we choose show us what we value in life and wish ourselves and others for happiness. Metta is a refined and subtle form of happiness and can give us the understanding that the quality of our mind conditions the quality of our perception. This gives us the insight to consciously develop wholesome perceptions.

Transcript

So welcome back after lunch.

So I thought I'd talk a little bit now about the wisdom of love and how wisdom and love interact and mutually reinforce each other because love without wisdom isn't really love.

We have to know how to apply love with discernment in an appropriate way and wisdom without wisdom is not love because of that.

And wisdom without love is not love.

Am I saying this all wrong?

But I think you get the meaning.

And so the two tend to reinforce each other and strengthen and deepen each other.

So I wanted to talk a little bit about ways in which metta can deepen our wisdom.

And I think one of the first ways is in understanding what the obstacles are to love because when we start to practice metta we often come against some kind of blockage.

So metta kind of reveals the areas of our experience or our life or maybe certain other people in our lives who we still aren't able to generate that love,

That warm open-heartedness towards.

So by practicing metta,

Often in a metta retreat people tend to go through a phase where a lot of irritation or anger might come up or even just a place in the heart which feels kind of hard and a little bit difficult to penetrate.

So it's really good,

It's a good sign when this happens.

It's not that you're doing something wrong and that metta is only about feeling good all the time.

It actually reveals the places which you haven't yet learned to open to.

And as the Buddha said,

We have to meet those places in order to understand them.

So our first response is usually to not want to meet them and to want to sort of skip over them and just get into sort of more pleasant soft states of mind.

But the mind is still hard in some areas and metta can really help us to notice that.

And the Buddha gave lots of different ways which we can work with anger to overcome it and not only through the cultivation of metta but also through training our perception to look at people or situations in different ways.

And he gave some very nice similes in one of the suttas,

I forget the name of it,

But it's in the Majjhima Nikaya.

And he compared a person whose I think bodily actions are not very wholesome but their verbal actions are wholesome to a pond which has clear water in it but is covered with algae.

So this is the kind of person who maybe speaks in very pleasant ways,

Maybe makes promises,

Has good intentions,

But their actions never really follow through with it.

So there's something to value in that person but there's other aspects of the person which are not yet developed.

And so the Buddha said it's like you've got this algae but there is something beautiful underneath.

So if you want to quench your thirst you come up to the pond and in order to drink from the clear water and to be refreshed,

And in a way I think he means free from anger,

Pacified and not so parched by the heat of anger,

Then you have to move away the algae.

So it's like you have to give more intention to that person's purity of speech than to their impure actions.

So we just focus on the person a little bit differently.

And this isn't about getting a completely accurate picture of a person,

It's just ways of working that release more love for ourselves,

Help us access more love and also pacify anger and irritation that arises in our heart.

And another simile was if a person's bodily actions are very good but their speech is really rough.

And I remember I was working in a nursing home many years ago and there was a lady there that fitted this description perfectly.

And she was just doing tireless,

Really selfless work on the minimum wage.

She was a single mom with two or three kids to support.

And she told me she could have chosen another job but she wanted to do this job because it was working directly with people,

Even though it was incredibly tiring and we were on a lot of night shifts and it was a place for EMI,

I think,

Elderly,

Mentally and firm people.

And they were really at the last stages of dementia where they were very.

.

.

It was difficult for them to do anything for themselves anymore.

So they'd soil themselves frequently during the night and we'd change all the bedclothes.

Yeah,

It was a very sad situation and there wasn't nearly enough support on the ground to look after them properly.

So it was really a matter just of keeping people clean and keeping them safe as best we could.

And she'd be swearing and,

You know,

Really,

Really harsh language,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

And at first I was a bit like,

Oh,

You know,

What sort of person is this?

But after a while I just realised it was almost like her passion,

You know,

In wanting to see these people taken care of.

So her speech was very rough and coarse but her actions were absolutely,

You know,

Supportive and she was always like the first there,

The first on any kind of job to just start cleaning up no matter what it was without complaint actually.

So it was just words.

And so I learned to focus on where she was coming from and what she was actually doing,

You know.

So actions speak louder than words we all say,

Right?

So we can focus on that.

And the Buddha compared this to like you find a piece of dirty cloth in the street and it looks really grubby and useless.

But of course as monastics we have to,

In the past especially,

We used to make our own robes out of rags,

Out of discarded cloth.

And so a wise person comes along and sees this dirty cloth on the street and they don't want to pick it up because it's so yucky.

But they realise that this cloth partly is clean in areas and can be washed.

So they use one foot to like rip off part of it and then take away the good part.

And they can even wash this piece of cloth which is the good part and use it later on to make a patch on the robe or whatever they want to do with it,

Yeah.

And so we have to sort of see this dirt on the cloth as a person's conditioning,

Right?

This is why they behave certain ways,

They're conditioned in a certain way.

But it's quite superficial and there's a lot more to them than that.

And so the Buddha is reminding us to just focus on that part of the person instead,

You know,

For our own well-being as much as anything else.

Because as long as we have this aversion and anger in our mind,

We can't be much good to anybody,

Right?

And also just on a similar theme that metta,

I think,

Especially when we develop metta and try to generate metta towards others,

You know,

Maybe loved people,

Maybe people we don't really like,

We're doing this to purify our own heart.

We're not doing this to actually change that person.

As a consequence,

That person may actually start to change because when you see the best in them,

They tend to see the best in themself.

You know,

It's that thing of what you show others tends to be what they give back to you.

And so it does start to encourage the best of that person to start to grow and blossom.

You know,

If they see their own worth,

Then they're able to make wise choices.

If nobody thinks they're any good and everyone's treating them like a hopeless case,

Then we'll feel like a hopeless case,

You know?

It can change so quickly.

I mean,

Even just depending on who you're around,

You know,

You'll be around some friends who really lift you up and boost your spirits and make you feel you can do anything.

And other situations,

Especially sometimes childhood situations,

Maybe with our families,

You know,

All these old conditioned habits come up that we used to operate from as teenagers and you're thinking,

Gosh,

Where did that come from?

So everything is,

You know,

Malleable and very much depends on how we view things and how we view ourselves and it's important to choose wise companions,

You know,

People who see the good in us and can help us to nurture that good.

So coming in contact with the obstacles to love is one area of insight that's really valuable through this practice of metta,

But also understanding that even by choosing the phrases,

In a way you're getting clearer about what you really want to align your life to,

What you want your life to be in service of.

So you might have chosen phrases such as,

May I go to a great party tonight,

But probably didn't,

Right?

It's more likely that you chose phrases such as may I be joyful or may I be content,

May I be at peace.

And so this really helps us to start becoming clear about what we value in life and where our happiness lies.

We start to realise that happiness isn't to be found in the world of the senses.

A temporary fleeting happiness may be there,

You know,

And I especially think it's important to enjoy sort of wholesome happiness such as enjoying nature,

Being outside,

Being with the trees,

With the birds,

You know,

In the wind,

Even if it's a really grotty rainy day and you think,

Oh,

You know,

Why should I go outside?

Sometimes just being in the elements can be very uplifting and enlivening.

And one of the great things about British weather is that it always looks worse than it feels,

I think,

Mostly.

It looks really bad from outside the window,

But once you get out in it,

If you've got the right gear,

It can actually be quite lovely.

Especially if you're a bit depressed,

I think,

You know,

Sometimes it's not a bad thing to have a very sort of,

Even the rain pouring down and soaking you through as long as you don't get a chill or the wind,

You know,

It can be very restorative and connect you to the elements.

Sometimes the elements almost speak to you in a world and it helps you to feel less isolated and,

Yeah,

Alone.

So this feeling of disconnection can be very painful.

There's lots of verses actually in the Buddhist teachings about rejoicing in nature,

Even from the crustiest old aesthetic monks,

Aesthetic monks,

Who were renowned for being kind of quite harsh and having really strong practices like not lying down and just meditating,

Sitting up for hours.

But even they wrote beautiful poetry about their delight in the rocky crags and the little mosses and lichens in the forest.

And it's very lovely because I think when our senses start to become subtler and we start to notice the happinesses that are not so coarse and stimulating,

We really tune up with the beauty in nature and we start to see,

You know,

The different shades of green or even grey in the clouds.

And everything sort of becomes much brighter and more alive.

I always notice that on retreat.

Say a little pond or just a tree that looks quite normal in everyday life.

When you start to meditate and especially when,

You know,

Metta starts to happen,

Which is a very beautiful perception,

Everything takes on a sort of shine.

And you don't need as much to sort of get that pleasure through the senses.

You need very little.

I had one retreat where usually I like to have a piece of chocolate or something in the afternoon,

Not only because it's allowable but because everybody likes chocolate,

More or less.

But one time I was meditating and getting a lot of inner happiness,

Just kind of welling up as I was just learning to let go really,

Let go of a lot of the striving and the tension and feeling of having to get anywhere.

And all this inner happiness and joy was coming up.

And maybe more out of habit than anything I thought,

Oh,

I'll just have a little piece of chocolate.

And I went to have that piece of chocolate and it felt very unnecessary.

It was almost like turning back on the sense of taste,

Where it hadn't been necessary.

And it kind of took me out of that very deep inner happiness back into the world of the senses.

And it felt sort of quite coarse.

And then I realized what the Buddha meant by the sensual pleasures being kind of coarse and inobile.

And it's not a judgment.

I mean,

None of this is a judgment.

But what he's doing is saying that compared to that,

There's something more refined.

There's something deeper,

Something purer,

Long-lasting,

More rich,

More enriching.

And that's the happiness of the mind.

So practicing metta and becoming familiar with the feelings and the emotions of metta helps us to tune into a more refined and purer kind of happiness.

And I don't know if anybody has started to experience that a little bit during the meditation.

But I think we're not looking for something special.

It can actually be very subtle,

Just like a gentle quietening or a very quiet kind of joy,

Which is more of a release than an attainment.

It's more that we've put something coarser down.

And now as a result of something rising which is much simpler and purer.

So this gives us insight into the nature of happiness and also the nature of suffering.

Because our usual response with suffering is like,

Suffering arises just at a very simple level,

Say a pain in the body.

And our immediate response is,

I don't like it,

I want to get rid of it.

So that's the usual response to suffering,

The get rid of.

But then through the practice we start to develop wiser responses.

So first of all we develop a healthier kind of psychological attitude towards pain,

Whether physical or emotional.

So first we start to change our attitude.

And the whole retreat's been about what we're putting between ourselves and our experience.

So our relationship,

Our attitude towards whatever arises.

So you can put things in there such as gratitude,

Even gratitude for pain.

It can be possible to have gratitude for our suffering.

Or peace,

Just making peace.

Realising that this is an aspect of nature that we can't fight.

So making peace with it,

Accepting it as part of experience.

Or of course the attitude of compassion,

Kindness,

Treating it like a child who's hurting.

Or an attitude of love and friendliness,

Which is what we've been doing.

So we start to develop this wise attitude in a way to be able to meet and handle and sort of hold our suffering.

So first of all we have to bring it in,

Learn how to accept it,

Even embrace it.

But that's not the end of the path,

That's not the final goal.

We're not just here to sit with our suffering and let it be.

There's another aspect of mindfulness and wisdom which is actually around understanding how these things arise and what leads to them ceasing,

What leads to their cessation,

What leads to their release.

And this is where the metta and the compassion in particular and these beautiful ways of looking come in.

Because they give us powerful tools to actually start to calm these things down.

And not with any force but just.

.

.

Sometimes people think this is putting a sort of surface layer on the mind,

Like putting metta over the problem.

But it's actually not that at all.

These states of metta are less constructed states,

They're less fabricated and conditioned than things like anger and aversion.

Because things like anger and aversion have to have quite a bit of a sense of self behind them first of all.

You can't be angry about nothing.

If there's no one in here to be angry,

Where is anger going to come from?

We're angry because something affects me,

My wants,

My desires,

My needs,

My sense of who I think I am.

No one should talk to me like that,

I'm a nun.

You should treat me this way,

You should treat me that way.

I don't think that hopefully.

But we all have this strong sense of self and it's when that is attacked that anger tends to arise.

So states like anger and desire are much more fabricated,

Much more conditioned than states of metta which is more of a release,

A letting go.

And so this is part of the process of calming,

Of samatha.

And samatha means calming,

Calming things down,

Pacifying things.

One of the definitions of Nibbana is sabha sankhara samatha,

Which means all the kind of conditioned reactions,

Habits,

Attitudes are pacified and released.

So we're trying to calm things down.

Yesterday we talked about learning to talk to ourselves in soothing ways,

Especially ways that go in the opposite sort of counter voice to the inner tyrant.

So you have this horrible inner critic cropping up saying,

Oh,

You'll never amount to anything.

And we find ways to recognize that and then actually oppose that voice.

I mean,

Sometimes it has to be in opposition if the voice is really tricky and really stuck and actually say that's not true.

There's evidence that points to the opposite.

My friends see a lot of potential in me.

I also have had a lot of successes in the past.

So we have to learn to sort of soothe ourselves in a very kind way.

And then we start to see that those coarser states of mind,

The hindrances start to pacify.

And the other reason that you know you're on the right track is that the more you let go and the more you can renounce increasingly subtle aspects of what we take to be a sense of self,

What we take to be me,

The more joy arises.

And this is quite interesting when you get into deeper meditation and some happiness does start to arise in the mind during meditation.

Because the kind of coarser aspects of the sense of self have started to fade away.

Like you're not controlling so much.

There's not as much will.

There's not as much kind of craving for this result or that result.

So in a way you're becoming more passive.

The sense of self is sort of fading into the background a little bit.

But then when the joy starts coming up there's these obstacles before getting into really deep meditation.

And two of those main obstacles are like fear because you're going into territory that you haven't been to before.

So it's kind of scary because you have to let go of something else in order to enter into a deep state of samadhi.

And that's usually the sense of being in control.

So that's a much more refined sense of self.

Me the one who knows exactly what's going on and who's in control of this process.

And that can be quite scary.

And then the other thing that can come up at that point is a sense of excitement like ooh.

And it can be so subtle.

It doesn't have to be even verbal but just this slight kind of leaning in and having a look.

And I always call that the sort of assessor or the sticky fingered sort of interferer which happens quite a bit with me.

So I sort of like ooh what's happening now?

And it's this part of the mind that is like identified with being the one who's not only in control but also assessing the progress.

And the more we can let go of that the more joy starts to arise.

Every time that comes in you'll find it recedes a little bit because you're just bringing something quite gross into a process which is more of a grace actually.

More of a really subtle and gentle unfolding of a process.

So these things happen the more we get out of the way.

So metta helps us have insight into that process.

So even today,

I mean it's just a short retreat,

But we started with the phrases of metta which is a little bit of a way in.

So we're still doing something.

We're still putting in an intention,

A verbal intention.

But bit by bit that drops away as the metta starts to build and we don't need as many words or we can leave bigger spaces between the phrases.

And eventually you may just drop the phrases for a while and see if the metta continues.

At some point the metta might start to fade so you can bring again something in just to kind of remind the mind what it's supposed to be doing.

But bit by bit you need to be less and less involved as these things start to take off on their own.

So it's like we start to learn how to get out of the way and that things are a lot better when we do get out of the way.

So that's a bit of a blow to the sense of self which thinks it's,

It knows what it's doing.

But things are actually better when we're more passive and when we say less and get ourselves involved less in the process.

And then my favorite insight practice I guess connected to metta is about noticing how conditioned our perception is.

Because what metta tends to show us is how differently we perceive ourselves,

Our lives,

Other people around us when we have metta,

When we have loving kindness in our mind compared to how we look at things when there's ill will or when there's just an absence of loving kindness.

And this starts to make you question,

Makes me question,

Which is correct then?

Or are both just conditioned?

And of course,

You know,

They are both conditioned,

But one is much more wholesome,

Much more helpful,

Conducive to harmony,

Conducive to happiness in life.

So we can learn to pick up one and put down another.

And this becomes really,

Really useful in our practice in a way of being able to overcome the hindrances.

For example,

If you have a lot of lust,

One of the traditional practices that's used in monasticism is that if a lot of lust arises,

To reflect on the kind of ugly nature of the body or maybe the aspect of the body which gets sick,

Which is subject to sickness and decay or even just the fact that the body gets dirty and smelly,

You know,

Things like this.

So this is used to counter excessive desire or lust towards another person.

And in a similar way,

You know,

You can pick up the metta if there's a lot of aversion or even a little bit of aversion in the mind.

Because we don't realize there is until we do metta.

And if when you practice metta,

You get more joy coming up,

It probably is an indication that there was some latent aversion there in the mind.

Yeah,

So it's a good indication.

And then there are perceptions such as impermanence,

Looking at everything from the perspective of its nature to arise and pass away.

And there are countless perceptions you can do.

I mean,

There's about 10 written down in the suttas in the Girimananda Sutta,

But you can really pick up anything,

Even looking at things from the perception of contentment,

Just finding something there to be content about.

Or from the perception of generosity,

I just turn my mind to see everything as a kind of opportunity to give.

So I give to my meditation,

I give to the breath,

I give my time,

My attention,

My,

You know,

All my qualities to whatever is in front of me.

So all of these are perceptions and I think it's really fascinating to see how we can mould our perception in ways that lead to greater happiness.

And we can become quite skilful in this.

So this helps us to see that perception is not fixed.

And also to doubt our perceptions,

Yeah,

When we have unskilful ones,

We can get so trapped in ways of looking that we don't realize,

You know,

That we can actually challenge that and perhaps find a way that leads to more happiness,

Doesn't cause us such a lot of pain.

And then the other one that's mentioned in the suttas,

The last one I'll mention now is to start to recognize the impermanence in those states of love and kindness.

So the impermanence in those states themselves,

That these arise from a cause due to certain causes and they cease when those causes end,

Yeah,

Because the causes will end at some point.

They will remain in those states forever and therefore that's not the final goal of practice.

These things are very useful help on the way.

I mean incredibly useful and they can take you a very long way.

But basically when the causes end,

Then those meta states themselves start to crumble and fall away,

Yeah.

But if you have taken them into deep meditation,

Then you have a chance at that time when the hindrances are still absent to penetrate much more deeply into the truth of things and to actually see things such as non-self,

Which again,

Like I was saying yesterday,

Means to see that we are conditioned beings or conditioned entities,

Processes I prefer,

And that even the mind arises and passes in an instant,

You know,

Many,

Many moments apparently according to the Abhidhamma.

I don't know how many mind moments there are in one second,

But it's hundreds,

If not more than hundreds.

And to see that these things are arising and passing all the time,

So there's nothing in there that's lasting and eternal.

And when this starts to happen,

The meta has much greater power.

And I've experienced this through some of my teachers,

That there really is a sense that there is just pure love flowing without a giver and without a receiver.

It's just love for the sake of love.

Because when there's no sense of self,

There's nothing to protect anymore,

There's nothing to cling to anymore.

You don't need anything from anyone else anymore.

And the only response,

The only natural response when you realize that people are suffering through delusion is to love.

That's all that's left.

And so people who have,

You know,

Really developed themselves deeply in the Dhamma,

They tend to operate just through these Brahma Viharas.

Their whole lives become expressions of loving kindness,

Compassion,

Joy and equanimity.

Equanimity with a certain wisdom that everything arises and passes.

And there's a great peace in that because it really releases the clinging.

How do we cling?

Where's the point?

What's the point in clinging to something that's by nature just slipping away?

It's like sand just passing through your hands,

You try to grab it,

It's just falling through.

So we stop the clinging and start to live a life much more aligned to the sort of natural ebbs and flows of life,

To the weather if you like,

You know,

Realizing that no weather pattern in the mind or externally will last.

So then we're much more open and can learn from every situation in our lives.

So I wanted to just say a few little things about how we might apply metta in our daily life.

I guess I'm landing on metta a little bit today compared to the other reflections we've done,

But they all work together and they're all aspects of the same thing,

Which is letting go.

They're all aspects of just building up these resources,

These attitudes in our mind that help us in our life and in our relations with each other and ourselves.

So take whatever works for you,

But I would really,

Really recommend a metta practice as part of your daily practice.

Even if you don't want to give a whole session to the metta practice,

I find it helpful to end every session with maybe five or ten minutes of metta just to share whatever benefits I've received myself through my practice with all beings.

May all beings also experience peace.

May they also come in contact with the Dhamma.

Sometimes I start my practice that way,

Especially if I'm on a longer retreat.

During the day I might do quite a lot of metta,

Like for whole sessions,

Until there's really quite a lot of joy arising.

Only then,

When I feel my mind's really a nice,

Safe,

Happy place,

Then I invite the breath in and the breath helps me to go deeper because it's simplifying.

It's less discursive,

Of course.

There's no words that you need to put along with the breath.

The breath's a very subtle object and sometimes people move on to it too soon.

This is one of the big difficulties I think most people have with breath meditation.

It becomes this big struggle to,

Oh,

The mind's wandered away,

Keep it back,

Bring it back.

Oh,

Two,

Three breaths,

Again gone.

You realise it after half an hour.

You're just constantly struggling to bring the mind back because there's no joy in watching the breath at that point.

The mind's just not ready and the breath is too subtle for such a coarse mind.

I often try to develop this joy through reflecting on my own goodness,

The goodness of my life,

The gratitude I feel towards the other people in my life,

Little things reflecting on kind acts or just generating some kind of memory of something to be grateful for.

To bring up that joy in the beginning and then it becomes very easy when I get onto the breath for the joy to start arising with the breath,

Which is one of the stages in the breath meditation that you have to go through.

Remember we said that happiness is the cause for samadhi.

It's the proximate cause.

So right before you get into deep meditation,

There's a lot of joy.

So we have to start generating that and we can do that from the beginning.

And as I said,

Morning and evening,

Prepping metta before you go to bed,

When you wake up,

Setting your intentions for the day.

Even if you have particular weaknesses or habits that you tend to fall into again and again in certain situations,

You can remind yourself of that.

Oh,

Today I'm going to meet such and such and often when I meet that person,

This happens.

May this not arise or maybe I'd be aware of this tendency and stop this,

You know,

Or replace this with metta.

So just programming ourself a little bit what to be on the lookout for during the day.

The other really important thing as I was saying is just learning to regard situations and people in a way that brings more kindness into our lives.

Even if you don't,

I mean,

It takes a bit of training and it sounds like effort.

I think there's a lot of resistance even in myself sometimes to do that because it's a bit like hard work,

But it's really starting to recondition the mind and it does start to have,

Um,

Effects.

And when it has those effects,

You have the motivation to keep doing it.

You know,

You have some obvious feedback there that it's working.

And then also of course,

Self care,

You know,

Taking care of yourself,

Not getting burned out,

Giving yourself some time every day just to be by yourself if you need to be,

Not to always be in a position of just giving,

Giving,

Giving all the time.

I read a nice quote somewhere.

I don't know who said this,

But,

Um,

They were saying self care is not only having hot baths and hot chocolate or whatever else,

Big bag of salt and vinegar crisps,

Which I've eaten,

Which is my weakness,

But it's also making a choice to live a life that you don't need to regularly escape from.

Which is really nice,

Right?

Because sometimes what we think of as self care is actually a sort of a compensation for a life that we're not very happy to live.

So it's like I've had a really hard day,

But to get by,

I'll just do all these things that sort of numb me a little bit even,

You know,

Whereas actually the problem may be in the life choices that you've made.

So sometimes we need to really look at that and ask,

Is this the life,

You know,

That,

That can really bring out the best of what I have to offer or does there need to be some adjustment?

And that may mean at work,

In family life with one's partner,

Friends,

Et cetera.

But you'll probably find that as you practice,

You do start to meet more and more other meditators and it's really,

Really helpful to come to a group like this.

I think this is an absolutely wonderful resource and there's some really beautiful people here and I feel really touched to be here because it's the city closest to my hometown where I used to come as a rocker as a teenager for a little bit more of an adventurous night out than I could get in Chesterfield.

So it's really,

Really lovely to come back and to,

You know,

Just have a bit of contact with the Dhamma seen here and see what there is on offer.

And even this place,

It has a certain energy because it's a Quaker place and it's been used for,

You know,

Spiritual contemplation for a long time.

I don't know how long.

But the Sheffield Insight Group have been using it for 12 or 13 years,

I believe.

And so they have all kinds of groups here.

So come to groups like this,

You know.

Some of you have travelled from Oxford and from,

There's one lady from London,

She's gone there.

Someone from Essex,

It's quite a long way.

Oh,

And Frankfurt,

Right?

So you can travel also to groups,

You know,

Receive teachings that you feel are really helpful and there's so many Dhamma teachings available nowadays on all kinds of themes.

And also online.

I would definitely recommend my teacher online.

Some of his talks are a bit light,

I mean for me,

But his other talks are very deep.

The talks he gives to the monastics are quite different.

So there's a sort of variety,

You can have a look.

But the advantage of his talks are that there are so many thousands,

I think,

That you can Google in a subject like difficult relationships or guilt or just anything and there'll be a talk on it.

So that can be really helpful.

You can ask me about that later.

Oh yeah,

And just about service,

You know.

Trying to see our life as an opportunity to manifest love in the world.

I always sort of joke that in some traditions people like to quote Rumi more than the Buddha.

But actually it's not Rumi.

This is Khalil Gibran,

I can't resist this quote because he says,

Work is love made visible.

Which I think is really beautiful,

You know,

So we can change our attitude even to our jobs and,

You know,

The housework or whatever other work we have to do and just think of it as a way of making our love visible and beneficial to others.

So that's another really nice perception to have.

So we can talk a bit more about these things in the circle.

I shouldn't carry on and on and on but I hope that there's something that everyone can take away and that you can continue to develop these wise attitudes in your lives.

Take some of these practices a little bit further because it's been just a sort of little taste of all sorts of bits this weekend.

But the whole purpose of any practice is just to release some of the clinging,

Some of the holding on to the negative stuff that we don't need,

You know,

And to move us more towards peace and a kind of joy and happiness that comes from within.

So as long as you're moving towards peace,

Towards happiness within,

Towards understanding,

Then you're on the path.

And Bhikkhu Bodhi had a lovely little quote.

He said,

There are only two things necessary for enlightenment.

One is to start walking on the path and the other is to continue.

So that's basically,

In a nutshell,

All you have to do.

So you've already made a good start.

Very good.

Reviews

Wonderful and inspiring. Ayya, you truly never disappoint! I gained quite a few great tips I will use in my life/ practice! Thank you! 🙏🏼💗 Boundless Metta 💗