Forgiveness & Compassion | Ajahn Brahm

Ajahn Brahm talks about forgiveness and compassion. Ajahn Brahm is the popular Buddhist teacher to a growing international audience of people keen to learn meditation and develop a deeper spiritual understanding. He is also the founding father of an emergent Australian forest tradition of Buddhist monasticism focused on being true to the original roots of the Buddha's Teaching of Dhamma and Vinaya.

Transcript

Wow!

Very good.

So now for the talk,

Which is supposed to be about forgiveness and compassion.

So first of all,

Please forgive me for that terrible joke beforehand.

Now,

You may know that I've been a Buddhist since I was 16 reading my first book,

And I am now 784.

And I cannot lie to you,

A Buddhist monk always tells the truth.

I am 784 months since I was born,

Which is more awesome than actually saying it in years.

So I was just over 65.

So I've been a monk almost 50,

Meditating a Buddhist over almost 50 years now.

And one of the things which attracted me to be a Buddhist was when I started reading about Buddhism,

I never found any record of punishment,

Only of forgiveness.

Even when somebody did something bad,

We were still supposed to compassionately forgive them instead of punish them.

And that was actually quite strange to me,

Because I came from a society,

As you did,

I was born in Acton in London,

Where if you did something wrong,

You'd better watch out,

Because you would be punished.

And that creates a lot of problems in our society.

The first story to illustrate this was later on when I was a monk,

When I became a senior monk,

When I've been a monk for such a long time,

That some of these young people in Australia had literally grown up with me.

They came to meet me first of all when they were in their mother's tummy,

When there were fetuses.

And actually there's a lot to be said for that,

Because I know many people who started listening to my talks while they were pregnant.

One person in particular,

Her husband got a job in the Middle East in Dubai,

And she was not allowed to work.

So all she did all day was listen to my Dhamma talks while she was pregnant.

And after she gave birth she came to visit me,

And as soon as I started talking the baby lifted its head up.

It recognised me by the voice,

And that's happened many,

Many times.

So I teach people not just from cradle to grave,

Way before cradle and way after the grave.

It's a much longer service than you get in any other religion.

And so these people grow up with me,

And so they have an extra member of their family to help them when they're in difficulty.

Such as this 16 or 17 year old Sri Lankan girl who came to see me one day in the temple and said,

Ajahn Brahm,

I need your help.

I said,

Yeah that's what I'm here for.

I said,

I'm in trouble.

What trouble?

She said,

I'm pregnant with my boyfriend.

I said,

Have you told your mother and father yet?

And she said,

No,

That's why I've come to see you.

I want you to tell them for me.

I said,

Why don't you tell them?

She said,

My dad will kill me when he finds out.

And of course I actually felt quite privileged that I could help this little 16th suffocate 17 year old girl out of a really tight spot.

And I said,

Come on,

People make mistakes.

It's not the end of the world.

And also from that experience I started to wonder.

She said she can't tell her parents because her dad would kill her.

His dad wouldn't kill her,

But she'd certainly get her scolding and maybe punished.

And that's why she was afraid of telling her parents.

And at times she needed her parents' help more than ever.

She was afraid to tell them.

And that opened up a lot of the reason why people have problems,

Especially why they lie to their mum and dad.

If your son has trouble with drugs,

Would he tell you or would he be so afraid that he'd hide it from his parents because he's afraid what you would do to him once you found out?

They were afraid of punishment and because of that they hide the truth.

At a time they need their parents more than ever,

Their parents are distant from them because of fear of being punished.

Now when I heard that,

That is not a wise way to have a family.

Are your children,

Are they confident to tell you when they're in trouble?

To get your help when they need it desperately?

Or are they going to hide it from you and lie?

They will lie,

They will hide if they're afraid.

So I've asked many parents,

Please tell your children that they can tell you anything,

Even things they've done which you'll be ashamed of,

Which you'll be concerned about,

Which means they're in big trouble.

Please tell them you can tell me anything son,

Daughter,

As long as it's the truth you will never ever get punished or scolded.

If they lie,

Fair enough,

But if they tell the truth there has to be amnesty,

Otherwise your children will never tell you the truth,

They'll hide it from you.

The same with husbands and wives.

Even though I've never been married,

I know everything about marriage.

You'd be surprised at what a monk knows.

There was one occasion I was invited to participate in a seminar by our state government.

They wanted feedback from the general public about transports,

Trucking,

Railways and I was a member of the public because I knew the minister.

And during this day long seminar they had their lunch break afternoon and so being a good monk who keeps his precepts I couldn't have anything to eat because it was after the cut off time for monks.

So I was just hanging around and a man came to see me and said I'm a reporter and I want to interview you about shipping.

And I was bored,

Nothing to do,

So okay,

I'm up for almost anything.

So he interviewed me about shipping and I thought this was a good way of wasting time.

But to my surprise I saw that gentleman three months later and this is absolutely true,

He said Ajahn Brahm,

I published that article,

He gave it a stupid name,

Buddhism and the Art of Shipping by Ajahn Brahm.

But,

That's what he called him,

But he said that article was syndicated over every major shipping journal in the world.

And he got all these emails back from these professors and experts who said to him,

Who is this Ajahn Brahm,

We've never heard of Ajahn Brahm,

But he certainly knows what he's talking about.

I didn't know what I was talking about,

But still you could answer all their questions accurately.

So the power of a monk is great.

So at this seminar about shipping,

When it comes to marriage,

Why is it that husbands and wives lie to each other?

They do,

Don't they?

Why?

Because they too are afraid of being punished and scolded.

If he found out what I was doing I'd be in big trouble,

If she found out what I'm up to,

Raw,

She'll go ballistic.

That's not a good marriage.

Of all people,

The one you're committed to in this life,

Your husband,

Your wife,

Your partner,

Of all people,

They should be the person you can say anything to.

I literally mean anything.

And you're telling them because you know you're not perfect,

You've made a mistake,

You're sharing your weakness with them.

And they should have enough trust and love not to scold you,

To say well that's a really stupid thing you've done wife,

But I'm here to help you.

How can we make sure this never happens again?

If there's that amnesty in a marriage,

Then the partner has one other person they can trust and lean on when they really need some help.

Unfortunately what happens these days,

You don't tell,

You hide,

Because you're afraid of punishment.

And that's also the same in politics.

Why do politicians lie?

Because if they told the truth they'd be out of a job.

They too make mistakes.

In summary,

Punishment,

Or rather the fear of punishment,

Is what drives the truth underground.

So no one really knows what's going on.

In Buddhism we do have five precepts,

One of them is not lying.

And I thought why do Buddhists lie?

And the reason is because of punishment and fear of being punished.

So that is why if we can somehow have another ethos,

Another way of looking at life,

Where there is no punishment but it's opposite,

Forgiveness,

Amnesty,

No punishment,

But help,

Learning,

Growth,

Where anyone makes a mistake.

And that's what really impressed me with Buddhism.

If you want to read this,

The Buddha said it again and again in the Sutras.

If you acknowledge your mistake,

In other words confess it,

No punishment,

Learn from it,

Then that's called growth.

That's how we learn and grow and do better next time.

An example of that,

Which actually happened in a monastery where I am the abbot,

The boss monk,

The dictator,

Whatever you wish to call me,

In Perth.

Many of you go to places like Chitthas,

You understand the way monasteries work in our tradition.

If you want to become a monk or a nun,

You first of all have to be what's called anagarika,

Keeping eight precepts for at least a year.

It's where we can test you out,

Find out what you're really made of,

Find out if you are monk material.

And after one year of being an anagarika you can ordain as a novice monk.

You know what the word novice means?

No vice.

That's what it is,

No vice monks.

So they should be pure enough to get at least the worst of their vices out of the way.

And they train for another year.

Only after two years can they become a full monk or a nun,

A bhikkhuni.

We call that in Buddhism,

Quality control,

QC.

So we only want monks and nuns who really want to be there,

Who are not going to embarrass you or us and who are really well trained.

So that is a system.

So I had an anagarika who had only just come to our monastery.

He wasn't really all that understanding of what a monk should do.

But he did know the rules,

The eight precepts.

One of which is similar to the monks and nuns of not being able to eat after noon until the dawn of the following day.

So one morning this young Australian man came to see me,

Very distressed.

He said he hadn't slept all night.

He said he was so disturbed.

He was guilty,

He said,

Because the previous afternoon he was hungry.

And when no one was around,

When we were all meditating in our huts,

He crept into the kitchen.

And he took out some bread and made himself a sandwich.

And even worse,

He ate it.

He broke his precepts.

And that's why he felt so guilty he couldn't sleep all night.

And he had to come up to me,

The boss,

The abbot,

The dictator.

Not really dictator.

I'm called actually the spiritual director,

But people nickname me the spiritual dictator.

But he was so guilty,

He was so upset.

And I told him,

In Buddhism,

Wonderful,

You've acknowledged your mistake.

So well done for being brave enough to tell me.

Number two,

I told him all the things a monk or a nun can eat and drink in the afternoon,

Which took me about half an hour because it's so much.

Chocolate,

Cheese,

Orange juice,

Honey,

Crystallized ginger.

If you've been to Jittus,

You know the whole lot.

So if you're really hungry,

You can take some of that.

Or even better,

Eat more at lunchtime so you don't get hungry in the afternoon.

So I gave him all this advice,

You don't need to drink your precepts.

Other ways of dealing with the problem,

Okay,

Now you can go.

And he looked at me and said,

I can go?

Yes.

You mean you're not going to punish me?

I said,

We don't do punishment in Buddhism.

And he said,

That's not good enough.

He complained.

He said,

I know my character.

If you don't punish me,

Give me some penance.

I know I will do it again tomorrow.

So he was one of these people who expected when you make a mistake,

You get punished.

And if you don't get punished,

You'll do it again.

That's how people are trained in this country.

But I said,

That's not how we do it.

But he insisted.

He said,

You must give me a punishment.

And so he put me on the spot.

And it just so happened that that morning,

Or that night before,

I had been reading a history book about Australia.

About the convicts who were sent over to Australia.

We've changed that now.

So please tell Ajahn Kauniko in Chittos and also Ajahn Amaro,

You can't send the naughty monks over to Australia anymore.

That time is gone.

We'll take the good monks but not the bad monks.

But that time is gone.

But in those days,

The British soldiers treated those convicts abominably.

If they made any mistake,

They were beaten with this really sadistic whip called the cat of nine tails.

I'm sure you've read about that or seen it in movies.

It was brutal.

But it was the tradition.

So,

When this young man said he wanted a punishment,

That was in the front of my mind.

So,

If that's what you want,

Young man,

I will sentence you to fifty strokes of the cat.

That's what I said.

And this young man,

You know Anagarikas wear white,

His face went whiter than the clothes he was wearing.

And his lips started to quiver.

He actually thought that Ajahn Brahm was going to whip him.

And that's when I explained to him what fifty strokes of the cat mean in a Buddhist monastery.

At that time,

We happened to have two little cats.

Find one of them and stroke it one,

Two,

Fifty times.

Learn some compassion.

You hard-hearted,

Wanted to be punished,

Young man.

So that was his punishment to stroke the cat fifty times.

Now that was not just a joke.

That was real because when he stroked the cat,

He had enough compassion to understand his weaknesses and to learn from them instead of wanting to hurt himself because of his mistakes.

Why do we want to hurt ourselves for our mistakes?

Is enough hurt being done already?

Isn't there another way?

And that is that way.

Acknowledge,

Confess your mistakes,

Which when there's no punishment you're more likely to do.

Forgiveness,

Which means you make mistakes,

I make mistakes.

No,

We're all sort of fallible in all sorts of different ways.

And learn from it,

Which is the most important.

Many of us when we make mistakes,

We never get to learning because we hide the truth.

I didn't do that,

Not me.

It's not my fault.

Somebody else did that,

Not me.

I'm innocent,

Really,

When you're guilty.

So instead we forgive and that's where the learning happens.

So this is part of fundamental Buddhism.

Acknowledge,

Forgive and learn,

Not punishment.

However,

Buddhism is still not the dominant religion in places like Australia and England,

Which is why people don't understand why you should forgive.

Number one,

It makes the truth come to the surface because we're not afraid to tell the truth when there's no punishment,

There's forgiveness.

And number two,

It allows learning to happen.

In other words,

We made a mistake,

Let's find out why and do something about it so it's less likely to happen ever again.

So that is the reason behind forgiveness.

Now,

How do we forgive?

Because there are some people in this world,

You think it's impossible to forgive.

They've done such mean and nasty and cruel things to you.

They don't deserve forgiveness.

May they rot in hell for eternity.

What a cruel thing that is to say or to think.

No.

There is no person in this world who is so bad that they don't deserve some forgiveness.

You may all remember Desmond Tutu's and Nelson Mandela's Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Africa.

That was so Buddhist and that actually stopped a civil war after Nelson Mandela became the president.

Remember,

He was 26 years in Robben Island.

26 years of his life taken away.

The best years.

Just because of fighting for a principle of his people,

Black Africans being treated with respect and dignity.

He wasn't a murderer or a bank robber or a rapist.

He was just someone who really needed,

Thought it was the only way to actually redress an obvious wrong.

26 years there,

Now he was president,

He had the full power to get back to seek revenge on all those people who had hurt him.

What did he do?

Did he seek revenge?

No.

Instead,

He wanted to find the only way of healing those wounds is actually to find out what happened.

And the only way to find out what happened was having amnesty.

The Truth and Reconciliation Commission,

Which was the first of a lot of other similar ideas,

Where any person who had done any crime,

Extrajudicial torture and murder,

As long as they came and told the truth,

They were given amnesty.

War free.

And I read some of the transcripts of what happened.

And one particular one,

It just shows that you can forgive anything.

This white African policeman was confessing to how he tortured and killed a black African activist.

Now please excuse me,

I'm going to be gross here.

Not as a joke to give you an idea if you didn't know the sort of thing which happened.

This black African activist,

Taken away in the middle of the night by the security police,

Interrogated.

And how they interrogated a man,

Taking out,

Please excuse me,

This is gross,

Taking out his penis,

Putting a nail through the penis to nail it to the desk to show they were serious.

And then the interrogation started.

Any guys here,

That makes you squirm.

When I read that,

Maybe it's not painful,

It's probably painful,

But it's just so awful to contemplate.

And he was saying how he did this and tortured this guy and eventually killed him.

And confessing something as gross as that,

The man,

The police officer was crying,

Was shaking,

Emotionally telling the gross things you've done is one of the most difficult things you could ever do.

But he wanted to open it up,

He needed to do that,

He was encouraged,

He actually did it.

And emotionally he was shaking after he said this.

And he said this,

This confession,

In the courtroom in front of this black African,

The dead black African man's wife,

The widow.

Imagine that's you as that wife,

Learning how your husband,

The father of your children,

The man you chose to love,

How he was extra judicially tortured to death.

How would you feel?

This woman,

When the testimony was finished,

Jumped over the barricades which were supposed to protect the people confessing their crimes from the victims of that crime.

She was big but far,

She dodged two security guards and went for that policeman,

Went for him.

She grabbed him and put her two big arms around him and hugged him and said,

I forgive you.

When I read that,

Even telling you now,

I get emotional.

Apparently everybody in the court just burst out crying,

The judge is everybody.

This woman,

This widow,

Had just found out what happened to her husband after he'd been abducted in the middle of the night.

Found out how he'd been treated in the grossest way,

Tortured and killed.

And what did she do?

I forgive you.

That gave hope that no matter what terrible deeds are done,

If she could forgive that,

Then we can forgive anything.

No one has treated you that badly,

So why on earth can't you forgive them?

Sometimes people say,

If you forgive these people,

They will just do the same again.

They don't because then you go on to the next step.

But you find out what's happened,

No punishment,

No revenge,

Then we can find a way to make sure that that death was not in vain.

That something comes out of that.

We learn to make sure there's CCD cameras in the police stations,

No one has that power,

That everybody has a proper right to investigate wrongs.

Whatever it is,

There's so many ways once we know what's wrong,

What the error is,

To make sure,

At least to really make it very much more difficult that any such thing could happen ever again.

That is progress.

That is how we learn.

And I don't like mentioning that story because it's gross,

But I've mentioned that story many,

Many times because sometimes people say to me,

What my ex-partner did to me,

I can never forgive.

What that guy did who killed my son,

I can never forgive.

You can.

You have the choice to forgive.

And it's never,

Never the case that the crime,

The deed is so bad it cannot be forgiven.

That takes away the first impediment to forgiveness.

They should not be forgiven.

The next one,

I can't forgive them.

You can,

But you have to find the way to forgive them.

And the way to forgive a person who has really hurt you badly is the first step is to see something in them which makes them worth forgiving.

Now when someone has really hurt you,

Disappointed you,

Cheated you,

Made your life more difficult,

You think they're a bastard through and through.

There's nothing good in them.

They're terrible.

The whole lot of them is bad.

That is never the case.

It's weird,

But the people who really hurt you always have some people who love them,

Which is really strange at first.

How can you love a person like that?

Do you know what they did to me?

They do.

They can see something in that person which you cannot see.

So you have to find some good qualities in them which make them worth saving.

It's like having an apple,

Yes,

A few rot bits in it,

But most of it's okay.

They just take out the rot bits and save the good bits instead of throwing the whole apple away,

The whole person away.

So see something in them which is worth forgiving.

But I should have said,

Well,

Why forgive?

One of the reasons why forgive is because they've done some bad karma.

Why do you have to be punished for it?

Until you forgive them,

You're punishing yourself.

A very simple example to make this a bit lighter,

Because it's getting a bit heavy.

I can see you,

You're not smiling.

Someone calls you an idiot.

Most people who haven't meditated,

Haven't been trained,

Start thinking,

Why did he call me an idiot?

He's got no right to call me an idiot.

It's wrong to call me an idiot.

And if you've got a little bit of wisdom,

A little bit of mindfulness,

You realise he's just called you an idiot three more times.

Every time you remember it,

He's called you an idiot again.

In fact,

If that's the case and you keep remembering it,

Then he's right,

You are an idiot.

Instead,

If it's not right,

Let it go.

So he can only call you an idiot once.

And then it's gone.

Someone cheated you of business.

You didn't do anything wrong.

That guy did the bad karma,

So why do you keep thinking,

He cheated me,

He cheated me,

He cheated me.

And every time you remember that,

He's cheating you again out of your happiness.

You're crazy,

Allowing his or her bad actions to cause you suffering.

So,

Forgiving is in our interest.

It's for our peace and happiness.

It's actually also for theirs as well.

But how about looking at yourself on this?

It's not good for your well-being,

Happiness,

Even health,

If you keep thinking about the past without forgiving.

You get sick,

Emotionally and often physically.

It's in your interest.

It's worth doing.

In fact,

It's crucial that you forgive if you want to be peaceful,

Happy and free.

And not such a pain in the ass for the people you live with.

So,

It's in your interest,

Anything can be forgiven,

You have the choice to forgive if you know how to do it.

First step,

Seeing something in them which is worth forgiving.

And once you see that,

You realise,

Hey,

They're not such a bad person.

When I used to go visiting prisons,

It was weird.

I went to some high security prisons,

I've been to see some famous people who have done bad things.

But in all those years I've been in prison,

Actually every time I went into prison to teach meditation or whatever,

I'd always keep a lock of the time I spent in prison,

Serving and helping.

So I know how many hours I spent inside prison to be used as credit in case one day I am sentenced.

Hey judge,

I've already done a couple of years.

But every time I went into those prisons,

I never ever saw a murderer or a thief or a paedophile or a rapist.

I've never seen a criminal.

All I've ever seen is a person who murdered,

Not a murderer.

A person who stole,

Not a thief.

A person who abused kids,

But never a paedophile.

Why?

No matter how terrible,

How cruel,

How hurtful,

Really hurtful,

Scarring the victims for years,

No matter how bad that act,

You cannot define them their whole life by the murder they did.

It doesn't make them a murderer,

It makes them a person who's done a murder.

The one who cheated you,

They're not a cheat,

They're a person who cheated you.

The one who let you down is not a let downer,

But a person who's let you down.

I learned this,

A very simple story.

Two children with their mothers in a supermarket in parallel checkout lanes.

They were checking out their groceries and one kid dropped a carton of milk and it went splat all over the floor.

Almost exactly the same time,

The other kid in the parallel aisle dropped a jar of honey and that cracked and smashed on the floor.

The mother of the kid who dropped the milk said,

You stupid child.

The mother of the kid who dropped the honey said that was a stupid thing you did.

That's probably happened to you in the past.

It's a world of difference.

The kid who dropped the milk,

You stupid child,

Comes away thinking they're stupid.

That the whole being is faulty.

That when they were born there was some genetic defect in their character.

They're stupid.

And that makes them depressed,

Negative,

Lack of self worth,

Never grow.

The second kid,

That's a stupid thing you did.

They're not a stupid thing,

A person,

They're not defective person,

They just did the wrong thing which they can learn not to do in the future.

Now,

I'm sure you've all had that sometimes,

You stupid man,

You stupid monk,

You stupid nun.

It's not a stupid nun sitting next to me,

It's a nun who's such a bitty cat.

But,

That is why I've never seen a criminal or a thief or a murderer.

There are no such people as terrorists.

There are people who do terrorist things.

There's another part of them.

You know the interesting thing which I found out?

Psychology.

I teach psychology,

Cutting edge psychology.

Every now and again I see things which I've taught many many times.

We've taught in conferences.

For example,

Some of you have been following me for years on the internet.

Someone showed me a video of a psychologist who's making a lot of money using this technique.

He said,

The problems in life are like the size of your hand.

The problem is,

Can you see my hand now?

Now my hand is so big I can't see anyone in this room.

Is it the problem is my hand is too big or is it because I'm holding it too close to me?

Wrong perspective.

If I put my hand over here where it belongs at the end of my arm,

The hand is no smaller but now I can see all of you as well as the hand.

He's saying that's the trouble with people.

Something occurs in their life,

Boom,

And that's all they can see.

They've lost perspective,

They can't see anything else.

Your wife overspends on the credit card,

Boom,

That's all you can see.

Your spendthrift wife.

She's not a spendthrift,

She's got so many other qualities but if all you see is the faults,

It's like putting your hand so close.

I've been teaching that for 20,

30 years and I saw this psychologist,

He's using that as his method to make a fortune which I don't mind except he's giving no commission to me.

But now you teach this psychology,

So here we go,

There's no such thing as a criminal,

Just a person who's done a crime.

So when I went into those prisons,

That's what I went in for.

Never looking at the crime but looking at the other part of the person.

Looking at the part of the person which wasn't a pedophile,

Looking at the other part of the person which wasn't a thief.

I looked at that.

And you know an incredible thing happened,

When I could see the other part of that person,

They could see it too.

When all I saw was a thief,

A murderer,

And that's actually what other people saw in them,

That's all they knew and actually because they thought they were murderers,

They became murderers.

That was their identity.

When I showed them another part of themselves,

A bigger part of themselves,

That is where the other part of themselves grew.

And I got one of my best compliments in my life.

I don't mind praising myself when it's not praising me,

It's about praising what I've done.

And this was a few years ago,

I received a telephone call from one of the prison officers in Western Australia who said,

Ajahn Brahm,

Can you please come back to our prison to teach?

I said I'm too busy supporting Anukampa Bikuni project,

Going to London,

So many other stuff I get involved in these days.

And I said I'm too busy these days,

I have an emperor,

I've got many responsibilities,

I'll send another monk.

And he said,

No,

We want you.

And my response was,

Why me?

You know,

That's what you usually say,

Why me?

And that's when he gave me the compliment which was stay with me till I die.

He said,

I've been in this prison service over 30 years and I've noticed something very unique.

Every prisoner who came to your classes,

When they're released,

Never ever comes back.

I've never seen this with anybody else.

No recidivism.

And that was where he touched me.

And then I went back to jail afterwards.

Once they went to my classes,

They were out and started new lives.

I thought,

Why?

What have I done?

And I think that is what I attribute that success to.

I never saw a murderer.

I saw the person who'd done the murder.

They saw it too.

So they realised they weren't a murderer,

They weren't a criminal,

They were a person who made a big mistake,

There's another part to them,

So they could forgive,

Learn,

Never do it again.

That's not just with prisoners.

I say go into really interesting areas.

My life is a much,

It's fascinating.

I go to places where you guys can never go.

And once I did this seminar,

Keynote address,

At the Institute of Mental Health in Singapore,

They're having their 100th anniversary or something.

And I gave that simile of,

It's not a criminal,

Just a person who's done a crime.

And afterwards,

The head of the schizophrenia unit came up to me to thank me for my talk.

Now you all probably have had contact with schizophrenia,

With people who have that terrible disease.

It just debilitates their life in and out of hospital.

Their family can't stand them because their delusions make them just so difficult to live with.

It's a terrible disease,

Schizophrenia.

It destroys people's lives.

So he was the head of the schizophrenia unit in Singapore.

And I asked him there and then,

How do you treat schizophrenia in Singapore?

And he told me exactly the same way you just told us about how you treat prisoners.

He said,

I never treat the schizophrenia.

I treat the other part of my patients,

The part which isn't schizophrenic.

And when I heard that,

I broke my rules and I worshipped him.

His wisdom,

Because I knew that he was on the money.

And I asked him,

Knowing the answer,

What are the results?

Way better than conventional treatment,

He said.

And he was a professor,

The head,

The boss of that unit.

That's how you do it.

You forgive the schizophrenia,

See the other side,

Work on that and basically you squash the schizophrenia out from that patient.

Anyone who has cancer,

You're not a cancer patient,

You're a person who's got a tumour.

But most of your body is okay.

Tumour is only a small part of the body,

Can you remember that?

You're just a person,

It's a huge part of you which is not cancerous.

I always say,

Whenever you go and see a person in a hospital,

Never talk to the illness or the disease,

Talk to the person.

They're much more than the sickness,

If they can remember that,

You've got a good chance of overcoming that sickness.

But often we just see the problem and we don't see the other part.

You're a stupid kid,

No you've done a stupid thing,

But you're not stupid,

You're much bigger than that.

So this is called forgiveness.

Now,

The hardest person to forgive in the whole world,

Absolutely crazy yourself.

You don't have to live with your enemies,

You can move to another city,

You can get divorced,

You can actually leave your parents,

But you can never run away from yourself.

Just like me,

Wherever I go,

There I am.

I suppose I live in Australia,

Now I'm in Brighton,

Wherever I go.

I had a great experience today,

Just walking down the promenade,

This guy came up to me and said,

My goodness,

Are you a jam prom?

I said,

Yeah,

I think so.

He said,

What on earth are you doing in Brighton?

I watch you on YouTube every day.

He was shocked,

I'm supposed to be in Australia.

That's only quite cool that.

Anyway,

I love my life like that,

Always surprising people.

So anyway,

That when you understand that you can never escape from you,

It makes it even more important for your happiness and wellbeing.

You forgive yourself,

Why on earth can't you?

One of the reasons is because you've been brought up a condition that you're not allowed to.

Don't forgive yourself,

If you don't forgive yourself and punish yourself,

You will do it again.

Have you ever noticed when you feel guilty,

You do do it again.

When you forgive yourself,

You don't do it again.

Just a simple lack of self-worth.

When you don't forgive yourself,

You think you're flawed,

There's something missing in your brain or whatever,

Which means you don't think you're worthy of moving forward.

Lack of self-esteem,

Guilt,

Lack of self-worth.

And when that gets very,

Very strong,

That is the main cause of addictions.

To alcohol,

To drugs,

To actually self-sabotage.

Sabotaging relationships,

Sabotaging your career,

Because you don't think you're good enough because you haven't forgiven yet.

So,

In order to forgive yourself,

Please look at some good things in you to realize you are worth forgiving.

The bad things is just,

Yes they are real,

You did those things,

Put them in context,

They're not such a big deal.

I was talking to one prisoner in jail and he's talking to him about this,

He said,

Look I'm hopeless,

I've really done lots of bad things in my life.

So I said,

We are going to do an exercise and I got a sheet of paper out of a book,

I drew a line down the middle of that book and I wrote his name on the top and I asked him on the left hand side of this line,

Please write down all the terrible bad things you have done.

I won't show it to people,

Just write it down.

And he wrote and wrote and wrote,

Filled in every line and in the margin and between the lines,

All the terrible things he's done in his life.

Once it was all filled in,

Couldn't get any more in,

Okay that's enough.

Now on the right side of the piece of paper,

Write all the good things you have done.

And he said,

There's nothing to put in there.

I said,

There must be,

He said no,

I'm just totally bad.

So I started pushing him and I got the first entry in there,

He said,

Have you got a cat?

He said,

Yeah I've got a cat,

Did you feed it some milk?

Actually yes I did,

I fed it some milk,

Put that down.

I gave the cat some milk.

This is actually true,

This is what happened.

And then,

Okay,

What else you've done,

Which is good.

Oh I just,

I woke my neighbour up because he had to get up early.

Great,

Put that down.

And you know it was like the crack in the damn wall.

Once you got that first thing down,

I fed the cat,

The other good things started to flow.

And once you get to the fifth or sixth,

They just flew and flew and flew,

As he saw all the good qualities in him,

Which were many.

Every one of you,

Look honestly,

Donald Trump has got some very beautiful qualities.

He has.

Maybe you can't see them yet,

But I'm sure he fed the cats some milk this morning.

And then I told them,

Right,

Now get the scissors and cut that piece of paper down the middle with the line.

And I said give me the left hand part with all your faults.

And I threw it in the bin.

The right hand part with all your good qualities.

If you possibly can photocopy it a hundred times,

Laminate it,

Put it in your desk,

By your bag,

In your wallet,

Everywhere.

Because I want you to remember you're not a totally bad person.

You've done some good things,

You've done some good qualities.

I want you to remember those and focus,

Not on the bad things you've done,

Which you have done,

But focus on your kindness,

Your compassion,

Your generosity,

Which everybody has done.

And then those good qualities started to grow.

As he noticed them,

Remembered them,

Reflected upon them,

Saw them,

He became a much better person.

Until he realized actually he was not that bad.

This guy apparently,

He went around the prison,

Because other people were telling me,

He went around the prison,

Finally saying,

It's only two bad drinks.

He'd murdered two people.

It's only two bad,

That's all,

It's just two murders,

That's all.

Now that fella got it.

So I'm not sure if he's been released now,

But when he will be released,

He won't do any bad things anymore.

He will find,

Because he's got self-worth now,

He will find a life.

Good on him for doing that.

So this is how we forgive ourselves,

A little,

A little ceremony like that.

Now if you're really a hard case,

And you just cannot let go of the bad things which you have done,

We take that writing it on a piece of paper to the next level.

I don't know,

Some of you are such hard cases.

Forgive,

But I've done terrible things,

Let it go,

But I can't.

And it's true,

You can't just decide to let go.

You do need something much more solid,

A ceremony.

So we do have this forgiveness ceremony which I developed,

And I remember after developing it when I told it at a conference of psychologists in Sydney,

As soon as I heard it they were all writing it down.

So they could actually do it in their therapy sessions and charge their clients hundreds of dollars for what they got from me for free.

They're terrible people,

But I've forgiven them.

So taking it to the next level is this,

The paper changes,

The ink changes,

And the ceremony adapts.

Instead of using ordinary paper,

Choose toilet paper.

It's very cheap,

And one roll you can write a lot on it.

And the ink,

Brown ink from a felt tip pen,

Dark brown ink,

Maybe a little bit darker than that.

And when you write down all the things you cannot forgive about yourself,

All the terrible things which you have done,

All the things which means I wish I hadn't done that.

Write it down in dark brown ink on toilet paper.

It's called in psychology association.

We're the other dark brown stuff which goes on toilet paper.

Now,

I don't know how environmentally conscious you are,

But apparently even the head of the World Wildlife Fund never uses both sides of the toilet paper.

Wasting trees,

Even you,

When you've got even a little bit of brown on a piece of toilet paper,

Only a tiny bit,

You don't fold it up and put it in your pocket to use later on because it's got many clean parts which you can still reuse.

Even a tiny bit of shit on a piece of toilet paper and you throw it away.

That's quite rightly so.

It's disgusting,

Unhealthy,

Stinky.

So there you get the association.

When you write all the terrible things you've done in brown ink on toilet paper,

You need the felt tip pen,

Otherwise it doesn't work.

You write it down on toilet paper,

The association is that this is not something you should fold up in your pocket and keep.

And that's what you've been doing for years because you haven't forgiven yet.

You write it down and when you finish writing it down,

Reinforcing the association of what this really is,

It's shit.

And as I say,

Just because sometimes people criticize me,

They say Ajahn Brahm,

A monk shouldn't say the word shit.

And I argue with them.

I know my Buddhism,

My suttas and my vinaya and it's said clearly in both the sutta,

That's the verna,

The vibhanga sutta and in the vinaya,

The Buddha told the monks,

Monks you must teach in the local language.

This is Brighton,

You use the word shit,

So so must I.

Okay,

So there you go,

Don't argue.

So you associate it with the other stuff which goes on,

Toilet paper,

Shit.

So you write it all down,

The association takes a long time,

Takes effort,

Mindfulness to write things down.

That's why it's really reinforced.

This is shit,

You should not be keeping it.

So you read it and then you do the final part of the ceremony,

The letting go ceremony.

And you take that piece of toilet paper with all the stuff you've never forgiven yet into the letting go room,

Which I don't need to explain what that is.

And don't put it in the bowl yet,

You read it again,

Totally,

Slowly,

Not speed reading,

You've got to reinforce.

This is what you've done,

It's brown on toilet paper and after reading a second time,

Only then do you put it in the toilet bowl where it belongs and you press the button and the toilet paper with all that shit on it,

All of the stuff which you haven't let go of yet,

Goes around,

Around the bend and out of your life forever.

And then you go into the sewers where it belongs,

That is called the letting go ceremony.

Now you may think that's a joke,

Yet it's funny and that is the way I make sure you remember it.

But it actually works,

The ceremony and you do something,

The associations,

The reinforcement is there all along the way which makes it easier to let it go.

And the association is not worth keeping that stuff,

But please for goodness sake let it go and when you let go of all the bad stuff you've done,

That is called forgiveness,

Letting go of forgiveness.

Why out of compassion for the people you live with,

For your kids,

For your parents,

The people you work with,

As I say,

Everyone who has to put up with you,

Let alone for yourself.

Who likes to live with a depressed,

Angry,

Miserable person?

I don't,

I like living with happy people,

People who are free,

People who don't always,

I shouldn't have done this,

I'm depressed,

I want to commit suicide,

Come on,

Let it go.

Let it go,

That's a great ceremony to be able to do it.

You do it out of compassion for others and also compassion for yourself.

And of course you don't stop there.

All along you're learning and growing.

It still hurts,

So make sure you never do it again.

By means of mindfulness,

So you can catch yourself before you do stupid things,

Just learning how to be more generous,

One of the great ways is hanging out with good people.

One of my books,

Somebody asked me to sign it,

The American version is called Don't Worry,

Be Grumpy.

In Asia it's known as Good Bad,

Who Knows.

In Germany it's called The Elephant Who Lost His Happiness and it got to number three on the bestseller list of all books,

I'm really proud of that,

Number three is a Buddhist book.

There's whole sections apparently in bookshops in Germany with that book in and that particular title was used based on a Jataka tale about an elephant,

A royal elephant,

Which was like the Mercedes Benz,

The Rolls Royce of people those days.

In those days,

Not like Queen Elizabeth with a roller,

An elephant,

Because a waste of time having a Rolls Royce in the jungle gets stuck,

Elephants can go anywhere.

So,

Had a big elephant,

But that elephant,

It was a very well behaved elephant,

Started misbehaving,

Started pooing,

Shitting,

Just when the trainer was right behind him.

And if ever you've seen elephant shit,

It's a lot.

They started shooting water at the king,

Didn't know why he'd suddenly changed his behaviour to being a bad elephant.

So the king got the vet and tried to find out was the elephant sick,

No sign of any disease at all,

Don't know why he suddenly changed his character.

So a wise minister decided to spend the night next to the elephant stall to find out,

Was meditating all night,

About one or two o'clock in the morning,

Heard a sound behind the elephant stall.

There's a band of bikies,

Hell's angels,

We're meeting there every evening,

I'm just making this up as I go along,

I always change the stories to make them more interesting for me as well as for you.

If you think you've heard these stories before,

I've heard them many more times than you,

So I like playing around with them.

So a band of hell's angels were behind the elephant stall,

Meeting there every evening to see who they would beat up for not paying their drug debts,

To see who they could rob,

To see where they could sell more methamphetamine zyse.

They were bad people and they were meeting behind the elephant stall because that was secret,

No one would think they were there.

But the wise minister saw them,

Or rather heard them,

And suddenly realised why the elephant had changed his nature.

Even though elephants can't understand human language,

They pick up on the attitude,

The vibrations.

So,

Straight away,

The minister knew what to do,

He had all those bikies arrested the next night,

And he replaced them with monks and nuns every other night.

If you have the monks and nuns spending the night together,

That would be a lot of quack,

Quack,

Quack,

Quack,

Quack,

Quack,

Quack.

So,

Alternate nights,

Monks and nuns.

So,

Just having the monks talking dumber,

Meditating,

Doing loving kindness,

In a few days,

Elephant came back to being a good elephant again.

Just because you pick up on the people close to you.

So if you actually give up and forgive yourself,

You'll create a lot of peace and happiness for the people you live with,

Whether you intend it or not.

It is worth your while.

So that's actually how we forgive.

And learn and grow and make a much better world.

And I am now being told to question and answer,

And I always,

I'm a well behaved monk.

So,

That is the end of the forgiveness talk.

Now,

Questions and answers.

So,

Who's got any comments about the talk I have just given?

No?

Then I can carry on giving another talk.

Good to go.

High past nine.

Okie dokie.

So,

A question.

Thank you.

I have a question.

I'm 37 years old and it's a bit irrelevant to this,

And I have a small toy dog that I'm really attached to.

And it's a great comfort for me when I'm feeling down or when I'm in pain.

What is the appropriate way I should be feeling about this toy within Buddhism that I'm really,

Really attached to,

That gives me comfort?

What's appropriate?

What's right?

You mean it's not like a woof woof dog?

No,

It's a toy.

That's a much better.

It doesn't need to be taken to a kennel when you go away.

It doesn't need to be fed.

It doesn't need to be taken downstairs to go to the toilet.

A toy one is much better than a real one.

Wonderful.

I encourage you to use that as a thing which encourages loving kindness.

It's a skillful means.

I don't have to let it go.

No,

As long as it's creating positive,

Good things for you.

At the recent retreat which we did in yesterday morning or something,

I don't know,

I'm joking.

Okay,

We had a teddy bear which I brought from my retreat centre in,

Or you did,

From Perth.

We have about 30 or 40 teddy bears in my retreat and during my retreat everybody is encouraged to meditate with a teddy bear.

You put it in your lap,

You cuddle it and it actually makes your meditation way better.

I won't explain it here tomorrow in Cairo Centre if anyone is going there.

You will find that one of the biggest impediments or weaknesses for success in meditation is a lack of kindness.

Do you know what that's called?

Bear awareness.

Plushophilia.

It's got a name?

Yeah,

Loving stuffed animals.

Absolutely!

I suffer as well.

But in Buddhism we have another name for it.

When you're holding a teddy bear and practising mindfulness,

I already told you,

Bear awareness.

And that's much older than plushophilia,

Whatever it is.

So,

There's a name for everything,

But I teach psychologist and so that's a lot of bullshit.

If it works,

Go for it.

Thank you.

Is that your partner next to you?

No,

I've not met him before but it's alright.

Okay,

So,

There's a lot happening there.

But be careful because boys,

They just like stuffed animals.

As long as it's furry.

Furry.

He's got a beard so he's getting that.

But,

Yeah,

I know,

My other bears went for my.

.

.

Yes,

You've got a question.

Yes?

You've spoken at a personal level.

Yes.

You've mentioned the dreaded prompt word.

We have chaos in America,

We have bad chaos here.

We have chaos in Thailand,

Which is very dear to your heart and mine.

How do you.

.

.

Okay,

I can think about loving kindness within myself.

Yes,

Yes.

But it disappears into nothingness against this term.

Ah,

The Trump,

The crew in Thailand.

How about looking at the other side of America,

Which politics will never change.

You go to America,

There's so many kind,

Generous,

They're incredibly hospitable there.

They're really,

Really smart people.

I went into Google and also Facebook as a monk.

I could open doors which other people can't do.

So I went into Google headquarters and sat in their meditation room.

And I was also invited into Facebook and they've also got a meditation room.

So these are some really innovative people.

There's many good people.

In Thailand,

I was out there last September giving a keynote address at a conference for bikunis.

There's so many beautiful people in Thailand.

So if you focus on the bad people,

Mr.

Trump,

You can fill your whole perception and get very,

Very dispirited and very negative about the prospects in that country.

He is just amplifying his great media fodder.

But after the election,

Forget about him.

That's the trouble with the media.

They just tell people what they want to read.

We like to read scandals,

Bad stuff,

But being in Thailand,

It's still going the same old Thailand as it was before.

If you happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time,

Then you see all that stuff.

But 99% is great.

I was told that poor old Britain after Brexit is falling apart.

And I come here and you're still the same as you were last time I was here.

So sometimes we exaggerate way too much.

What we're doing,

We're putting the hand right,

Put it out there.

And I guarantee,

Yeah,

The world will not be the same,

But Mr.

Trump,

Brexit,

Thailand,

Kim Jong-un,

He's just a misunderstood,

Lonely man.

A bit of kindness,

Compassion.

I don't know,

Anyway,

I'm only making this up.

But anyway,

It's not as bad as you think.

When I was young,

I was taught that nuclear war is imminent.

I really thought there would be a nuclear war,

As many people in my generation thought.

It never happened.

Many people actually stocked up with food for when it happened.

Never happened.

So a lot of times we have a lot of fear.

Many of you,

I live in Western Australia,

And every now and again we have bushfires.

And people actually called up,

Are you okay,

Uncle Trump?

There's a bushfire in Western Australia.

Mate,

Western Australia is bigger than Europe.

Okay,

So maybe there's a bushfire in Brighton,

But it doesn't affect,

Sort of,

Moscow.

But that's what people do,

They just exaggerate.

So it's fine.

We have,

They have a joke that Australian psychologists,

They don't need to work much at all.

All they do when people come into their rooms,

No matter what mental problems they have,

They just say,

She'll be right,

See you next week.

It's a positive attitude.

And a lot of times it is right.

There's something else I said just before to someone.

You know,

Fear of the future.

Have you ever noticed that what you fear is going to happen,

Happens?

You actually make it happen,

You create it.

Understanding that,

Actually this is very profound.

I know the nature of the mind probably better than most,

Well,

Certainly better than all of you.

The mind is incredibly powerful as a creator.

If you're afraid of something happening,

You're actually contributing,

Making it happen.

If you're afraid of getting cancer,

You're increasing the odds of getting cancer,

I don't know,

About ten hundred fold.

If you're afraid that's what's going to happen.

If you're afraid that your relationship is not going to last,

You are destroying your relationship.

If you're afraid that the economy of this country is not going to go well after Brexit,

You are contributing to that problem.

Fear tends to fulfil what it's afraid of.

Be really careful there.

We started this Anukampa Bikunik project.

Trying to get a place where females can have equal opportunity to ordain to the highest level in bikunis,

Have the same support,

So that next time I don't need to give this talk,

She can.

Why is it only monks who give talks?

Why can't the Dalai Lama be a woman?

Why do all the senior teachers have to be men?

Doesn't make sense to me,

So I'm doing something about it.

People say,

Come on,

It costs too much money,

Even with just looking at a property in Brighton.

The London by the Sea,

I heard it was called,

It's too expensive.

If you think like that,

It will never happen.

Me,

No problem,

We'll get the money from somewhere.

That attitude means it will happen.

Be careful of negativity.

I know enough history about this country.

One hundred years ago,

It was a can-do country.

Building a bigger ship,

We can do it.

A bigger bridge,

Yeah,

We'll find a way.

It's incredible.

A greater aircraft,

We can do it.

That attitude was one of the reasons for the success of this nation.

Now,

Yeah,

It won't work.

No,

We haven't got the money.

No,

It's too hard.

That is a terrible,

Bad cycle.

That's like the manager of Manchester United saying,

No,

You're not going to win this match.

No,

You can't score any goals.

A manager like that will get the sack.

But a manager who says,

Yeah,

The ball is round.

You know,

You can,

You've got two legs like everybody else.

You can do it,

You can win.

That manager creates success.

So for goodness sake,

Never think,

I can't do it.

Think like that and you won't be able to.

Think,

Why not?

And then it happens.

And I have got a reputation of delivery.

Wherever I put my mind to,

It actually works.

Because I know how it works.

It's fine.

That is called the secret.

Not the secret in a book,

The secret you heard from Buddhist monks.

You don't need to buy the book.

This is a much better secret.

Next question.

That answered the question.

Very good.

One of my possibilities.

One of the things which I'm planning to do is,

I know that Dalai Lama says,

I'm not trying to convert anybody.

That is also bullshit.

It's part of my job.

Obviously,

If I really think Buddhism is really worthwhile,

Of course I've been trying to get other people to do it.

If I have a cure for cancer,

Of course I'm going to give it to other people.

I'm not going to keep it for myself.

But it's so difficult.

So presenting Buddhism in a country like UK,

When there's not enough resources for Buddhists.

We don't really have a TV channel or access to people in high power.

So,

I always think,

It's an old Chinese saying,

You're going to kill the snake,

You've got to go for the head.

So my goal for the next few years is to convert.

Queen Elizabeth.

Now,

She's getting old now.

She must be thinking about what happens to her when she passes away.

She must be considering reincarnation and Buddhism.

We have the goods on dying.

We know more about dying than Christians and Jews and Muslims.

You know why?

Because Christians,

Muslims and Jews,

They only die once.

We die many times.

We incarnate.

So we know more because we have more experience about dying.

That's logic.

So,

I just want this to happen.

To be able to convert the Queen Elizabeth to being a Buddhist.

Now,

Once she is a Buddhist,

She's the head of the Anglican Church.

So if she's a Buddhist,

Then all the Archbishop of Canterbury,

He has to become a Buddhist too.

All the vicars,

And imagine all the properties we would inherit.

All those empty churches can become wehara's for monks.

And I know that Venerable Chanda,

She wants to live in the country,

But I want Buckingham Palace as the new,

New bikuni wehara for Venerable Chanda.

It has many rooms,

It has a beautiful garden in the back,

Lots of parking and security is very easy.

That is my plan.

Do you think it won't work?

That's negative thinking!

You're stopping it working!

I like having fun.

So anyway,

If Queen Elizabeth becomes a Buddhist,

You know who did it.

OK,

Another question before I do something more silly.

Yes,

Go on.

Is it ever worth asking for forgiveness?

And if you do,

Is there a good way of doing it?

It's usually just give forgiveness.

The only person who can forgive you is yourself.

You can ask forgiveness from a god,

From a teasers,

From a monk,

But really all you're really doing is actually acknowledging the mistake and saying you deserve forgiveness.

Why does another person need to convince you that you do deserve forgiveness?

So it's just forgiving yourself?

Exactly.

Instead of asking forgiveness from other people.

People actually do that,

It's a ceremony and it really sort of tires me out.

So what I do,

When people actually ask,

It's a ceremony in Buddhism,

Venerable Chanda will probably,

It's a ceremony.

She will say,

I don't know anything I did in the last couple of weeks,

Please forgive me.

And I tell her,

I forgive you for everything you've ever done in the past,

By body,

Speech or mind.

I forgive you for everything you've done in the past,

I forgive you for everything you're ever doing now,

By body,

Speech and mind.

And I also forgive you for anything you'll ever do in the future,

To the coming of Maitreya the Buddha,

By body,

Speech and mind.

You're pre-forgiven,

So you don't need to bother me with forgiveness anymore.

And I pray for each one of you,

You're already pre-forgiven.

Okay,

So stop bothering me.

Of course I forgive you,

It's a given.

So you're already forgiven,

You do whatever you like,

Back check.

You're pre-forgiven.

Why not?

Can you say that to your husband?

To your wife?

Darling,

Whatever you do,

By body,

Speech or mind,

Now,

In the past,

In the future,

You know you'll always be forgiven.

Because I love you,

I care for you,

You're my partner in this life.

You're already pre-forgiven.

I may not sort of like it,

But you're forgiven,

So please let me know what you did.

We can work it out together.

We can make sure that I can be there for you.

For example,

Your husband just falls in,

Not in love,

Falls in lust,

With a woman in his office.

Boys do that.

It's just they're hormones.

So he really fancies somebody in his office.

And he hides it from me because he's afraid.

Tell her straight away,

So you can help him.

They'll say,

Well look,

Yeah I know,

Thank you for telling me.

Maybe you can move to another office,

Maybe I can have a word with the boss,

Get her moved or something.

Because the two of you together can do much more than just one person by themselves.

So for goodness sake,

If you have any problems like that,

Tell your partner.

Trust them.

Trust them.

But for goodness sake,

Encourage that trust by not scolding him.

If they do that,

Then he'll lie to you.

The same the other way around.

Forgive us.

To me it's just an unideast thing we can do.

Don't go punishing people.

You know sometimes that people say,

Oh that really bad guy,

He killed my son.

You can put him in jail but he only suffers for 20 years.

I suffer for the rest of my life.

My son has been killed,

He's dead.

You know the truth of the matter is,

Because I've seen people like this,

After two or three years they're back to normal again.

They forget about their son.

Not totally,

But it's not a big problem anymore.

We do get over these things.

So people who say,

I can never forgive that person because I've always hurt them,

They don't always hurt.

We heal.

Everybody heals.

But the person who's in jail,

They're the ones.

And they're to have a good counsellor,

Never heal.

So they go out and do the same again.

It's not in the interest,

It doesn't make any sense to me,

Why we have a punitive system.

Mostly because of your newspapers.

Throw the guy away,

Evil incarnate.

And that journalism just has no forgiveness at all.

Which is terrible.

Okie dokie,

If there's no more questions.

Oh there's one here,

Go on.

How do we use the E word,

Enlightenment,

In normal society?

Enlightenment in normal society.

In person it's,

There's a lot of things about mindfulness and all these things,

But it's like,

If somebody's the enlightenment word,

It might be thought of as flaky or over ambitious and arrogant.

How do we use that word in this society?

In this society it is the goal of Buddhism,

But,

And sorry I said this after,

You heard me say this,

That when I was at school,

Through scholarships,

I went to a good school,

And there was a chaplain at that school,

An Anglican chaplain.

So one day I went up to him,

I was interested,

I was actually really sincere about religion,

So I said,

Look I just cannot understand this thing called God.

What is it?

Explain it to me.

I really want to know.

I'm not challenging you,

Just let me know.

You're the expert,

The chaplain,

Let me know.

And he said God is ineffable beyond words,

The beginning and end of all things,

The ground of all being,

The A to Z of existence.

And my reaction was,

What the hell does that mean?

You know,

The ineffable beyond words.

To me it showed he didn't know what he was talking about.

If you know something you can describe it.

The A to Z,

Oh no,

The Alpha to Omega,

The A to Z was the street directory in London.

So I thought what,

The Alpha and Omega of all things.

Anyway,

I went away thinking the guy doesn't know what he's talking about.

And later on I became a Buddhist.

And I went to see this monk and I asked him in line,

What is in line anyway,

You know what he told me?

He said,

It's beyond words.

The beginning and end of all this.

That's the same bullshit.

And I said that guy doesn't know what he's talking about either.

When you go and see someone I can ask in chat,

You ask those questions,

You get answers you can understand.

So finish off,

I only got five minutes.

This is a story,

Many of you have heard it before,

But it's the best description of enlightenment and the one you can use and everyone can understand,

Buddhist or not.

And actually it has an extra little dimension.

So,

It's a story of five children playing the wishing game.

The rules go like this.

Each child has a wish and the one who comes up with the best wish,

Wins the wishing game.

First kid said if I had a wish,

I would wish for a new computer game.

You like playing computer games,

Fair enough.

Second kid said if I had a wish,

I would wish for a computer game shop.

That way I can get many computer games and when the next new one comes out,

I'll be able to buy that as well because I own the shop.

That's obviously a superior wish.

The third kid did far better than that.

He said if I had a wish,

I would wish for a hundred billion dollars US.

With my hundred billion dollars US,

The first thing I do would be buy my own computer game shop.

But there's a problem because even though I own the shop,

My mother will not let me play computer games until I finish my homework.

So the second thing I buy is my own school.

If I own the school and pay the teachers,

Then they cannot mark me down for homework,

Which I don't do.

They will give me top marks,

Otherwise I'll give them the sack.

So that way I will be able to play computer games every evening and still finish school.

And after finishing school,

Then I'll buy my own university.

Thereby getting a degree,

Maybe a BA,

An MA,

Maybe even give myself a PhD.

I spend all the time playing computer games.

And with a hundred billion dollars US,

I'll be able to buy whatever I want,

Whenever I want it,

Because no person in the whole world can spend a hundred billion dollars US in one year except the British government.

And that was obviously winning so far.

And the fourth kid did much better than that.

And don't say two hundred billion dollars US,

Because a hundred billion dollars US or two hundred billion dollars US is literally more money than you can ever spend.

So the fourth kid did much better.

He said if I had a wish,

I would have three wishes.

That's a wish.

For my first wish I'll have the computer game shop.

For my second wish I'll have one hundred billion dollars US.

And for my third wish,

I'll have three more wishes.

That way I'll go forever.

I'll beat that.

And the fourth child won the wishing game.

He said if I had a wish,

I wish I was so content I never needed any wishes ever again.

That was the Buddha describing enlightenment.

So content you don't need any more wishes.

Nothing missing anymore.

The fourth child,

Infinity of wishes,

That is what Donald Trump aspires for.

He's got so much money,

One urgent to one to become President of the United States,

For power.

So when he has a wish,

He can get his wish completed.

Infinity of wishes is the myth of power.

And the third kid,

Hundred billion dollars US,

That is Bill Gates.

So much money,

He can get whatever he wants whenever he wants it.

And that's what many people aspire towards.

Great wealth,

Great power,

But beating all of that is so content you never needed any wishes ever again.

That is enlightenment.

And you can all understand that.

That's neat.

So there we go.

I hope you're so content you never need to ask any more questions because that's all you're getting for my fight.

Have a good night.

See you next year when we get a bikuni monastery in Brighton.

Who knows,

It's now up to you.

Okay,

Have a good night.

You've got a donation bucket in the end over there.

We never charge for people coming in,

We only charge for them coming out.

Always pre-entry.

But we won't let you out.

Okay,

Have a good night and see you next time.

Reviews

Thank you, Ajahn.