Anton McCarthy here and in this track I'm going to talk about anger and how to release it so that it doesn't dominate or control our lives anymore.
So it starts with understanding one simple misconception we have about anger and that's that it is caused by external situations and circumstances in other people.
In reality anger is a reflection of our own thinking,
Taking our thoughts seriously,
Holding on to them and making them ours.
So to give you an example somebody says something and you feel offended or they act in a certain way and you feel that anger.
It's protest against what is happening,
What is being said,
What it means.
So straight away you can see that it's a case of focusing on the content of our thinking and on what has happened and what is happening.
When in reality what's happening is that we're protesting against the feeling,
We're reacting to it,
We're responding to it,
We're pushing against it,
We're saying this shouldn't be,
This should be some other way,
That person shouldn't have said that,
This isn't the way the situation should be,
This always happens to me.
So you can see the common thread is that we are resisting something.
It doesn't mean that people are at fault,
It doesn't mean that people don't say offensive things or what we deem to be offensive,
It doesn't mean that any type of behavior is okay.
But when we consider the actual feeling of anger and the hold it can have over our lives and how it can affect our lives in so many different ways,
We have to consider it differently if we're to experience it differently.
So next time you feel angry consider that it's coming from angry thoughts,
An angry feeling that we're not okay with.
And most typically what people do is that they respond to it in a certain way.
They call the person back,
They call them out on something,
They call them up and have a go at them,
They vent,
They protest.
But if you were to do something different,
If you were to sit back and consider,
Okay one of the feelings right now is the feeling of anger.
But instead of reacting to it I'm going to just sit with it.
I'm going to observe it.
I'm going to notice what's happening without pushing back against it.
I'm even going to be perhaps curious about the feeling.
I'm going to sit there and just let it ripple over me.
I'm going to be curious about it.
I'm going to look at it with a little bit of detachment,
Just observing it,
Not feeling the need to do anything about it.
And what you may find is that it starts to dissipate,
It starts to take on a different form.
It starts to look less like a monster,
Less like a huge issue or storm or something that you have to do anything about at all.
You can simply sit with it and let the power recede.
You can let the sting fall out of it.
From that space you're in a much better position to consider what to do next,
If anything at all.
Because what makes the difference is seeing how angry thoughts cause angry feelings.
In fact they're one and the same.
They're two sides of the same coin.
And think of the freedom and the power you now have knowing,
Feeling,
Experiencing that you're not at the mercy of external situations or circumstances or other people.
They will do what they'll do.
But it's really that internal game,
Not getting caught up in the feeling,
It's not protesting or resisting it,
Is what makes the difference.
Give you an example before I came across this understanding,
Before I experienced this personally for myself to be true.
In fact eight years ago somebody said something in a text message and I reacted to it angrily.
I replied back and of course getting angry in a text message is never a good idea because you don't have the body language but either way we reacted to it angrily because I felt anger at the message,
Responded to it and back then I believed that that message,
The words in that message were what was making me angry.
I had no other understanding around it so I just replied.
But now if something similar were to come in,
In a message or otherwise,
I would simply look at and I'd consider the other person I would say,
Okay that person is feeling angry,
They're feeling something.
Maybe they don't know that that anger is coming from their own internal thinking in that moment rather than anything I've said.
But I do know that any anger I feel is coming from my internal thinking and all I really have to do is see that,
Remind myself of that and then choose what to do next.
Not from a place of of anger,
Of rage,
Of indignation but simply from a place of understanding that whatever's happening right now is coming from that internal,
Those internal thoughts.
And then I'm free to just let them be for a moment at least,
Let them dissipate,
Let them calm and that's the difference that makes all the difference is that understanding.
So I'd invite you to try this for yourself,
Experience it for yourself.
The next time you feel that anger rising maybe just sit with it,
Maybe just notice it for a moment or two.
Let it change shape,
Watch how it changes shape.
Watch how like a like a wave turning to a ripple simply dissipate and from there you're going to feel much clearer,
Much more confident and capable and ready to move on.
