Spring Rebirth Insights

It’s time to shy away from what doesn’t feel true and sink into our energy now, in this moment. It’s ok to change and alter as a human being and to acknowledge the death that comes with your rebirth. Spring is all about rebirth and letting go of what no longer serves you.

Transcript

Hello,

Welcome to sacred dance.

I'm excited today to talk to you one on one and have a solo conversation,

A solo transmission.

To paint the picture here,

It's a beautiful sunny Saturday morning.

Yeah,

And the energy feels high and vibrant and alive.

Spring,

Spring has sprung.

Spring is starting to really make its way into and through nature.

And yeah,

The energy has been reflected,

Reflecting that.

And you know,

Today I just want to share with you what's been alive for me,

What's been moving through me,

Shifting.

And that's kind of how these solo transmissions will probably be moving forward.

Just sharing from the heart where I'm at in the sacred dance of life.

So you know,

Wintertime is this space of hibernation,

Of going inward,

Of you know,

Taking account of what's all here.

And the spring is that energy of renewal,

Rebirth,

You know,

Taking a look around and choosing how to move forward from what the winter has taught us.

And it's really the space that I've been in of how do I want to move forward?

What do I believe is true now after what has transpired within me throughout this hibernation season of winter?

And there's been some interesting shifts happening within.

The shifts of what I see to be my truth and what I don't,

Especially in the world of spirituality.

You know,

We get taught or shown this is it,

This is the answer,

This is the only way.

And you know,

That's why this podcast was birthed was to kind of shy away from that.

But the entrapments,

The conditioning,

The manipulation is presidual.

It's still there.

It's still kind of weeding through the bullshit,

Weeding through what doesn't feel true now,

Right?

So at different levels in our spiritual journey and our human journey doesn't,

You know,

It depends on where we're at.

At different levels,

We resonate at different frequencies.

So you know,

When we first start out,

We may be in this energy of,

I'll just consume anything,

Like anything to,

You know,

Really help me.

And you know,

That can come with its own darkness,

Right?

We just take,

Take,

Take,

Oh,

This,

This will work,

This will work,

Oh yeah,

This is it.

And I think as we start to progress,

As we start to really come in deeper and deeper into ourselves,

There becomes this purification process of sometimes things are no longer true.

Those truths that were your whole reality are now something that kind of does not resonate in your body.

It's just like,

Oh no,

I am no longer in alignment with that.

And I think we need to normalize that that's okay,

Right?

That it's okay to,

To change and to alter as a human being.

To be accepted,

I think more than anything else,

Because we are creative beings and we are ever evolving.

So to accept that and to acknowledge the death that comes with the rebirth is crucial.

So the death of the winter into the rebirth of the spring.

And I've been noticing within me,

I've just been really connecting to the energy of Shiva.

Shiva is the God of destruction.

And you know,

When we think destruction in the Western world,

We're like,

No,

That's bad.

But destruction,

Death,

It's beautiful.

And you know,

The destruction of the ego and removal of the Maya,

The illusionary veil.

Well,

Those are so,

So important as we evolve,

Because again,

Depending on what your intention is behind your desires,

Your spirituality,

Your life,

That'll reflect back to you,

How you're experiencing life.

And I noticed,

And I've shared this before,

I've noticed within myself,

I was just in this place of doing spiritual practices for what I gain.

And that felt disgusting.

That felt really no longer in alignment with me.

And with that comes the energy of manifestation.

And I am no longer in alignment with that.

Yeah,

I'm no longer in alignment with the way manifestation is taught and has been made,

Mainstreamed no longer clicks in.

I do 1000% believe that we have a co-creation in our reality.

With the shadow side of how manifestation has been taught to us and mainstream,

You know,

Sources.

I'll get into more of that.

Why I feel this misalignment now with the energy of manifestation.

And I'll start with,

You know,

When we say I manifested this,

That right there,

It feels not true for me because I didn't manifest this.

I co-created this with the divine,

But it wasn't me that did it.

Do you see where I am coming along with this?

Mainstream manifestation and just manifestation in general.

And I at one point taught manifestation.

I,

You know,

Was a manifestation coach at one point in my business.

So yeah,

The death is real.

Allowing parts of ourselves to die is real.

You know,

Like that was my truth,

But it didn't click into place during that time for a reason.

I think this is what the reason was.

So I believe that our thoughts create our reality and that we do have a say,

But to believe that we do it all.

That we follow these 10 steps to manifest our desires.

And then that's what brought them to fruition.

I don't,

I don't agree.

I no longer agree that we have to perfect ourselves in order to receive.

I no longer agree that I have to follow,

You know,

A certain process,

A 10 step process,

Or,

You know,

It does not fit 10 steps,

But a certain process in order to receive my desires.

It's complicated.

We have complicated the purest aspect of our reality,

Which is that we are in this constant dance,

This constant conversation,

Co-creation with the divine.

So now I sit with the energy of co-creation of it's no longer about me,

It's about my half,

But also the half of where I've been met by source,

God,

The divine,

Whatever you call this higher energy.

And this is been a major shift in my reality.

When I stopped trying to manifest and I opened up to being met halfway,

Rather than thinking I am doing 90% of the work and then 10% is just this like mysterious energy.

And I'll tell you,

You know,

Why,

Why I've made this internal shift to no longer agree with the manifestation process that I was teaching that was taught to me.

And I'll start with one aspect of it.

That there always felt like this energy of,

I need to be perfect internally in order to receive,

And that put this pressure on my reality that I always needed to fix myself in order to receive what I was desiring.

And can you feel how that just perpetuates this energy of unworthiness,

No matter how much worthiness work I was doing,

It was still unworthy because I still saw myself as broken because I wasn't receiving in the physical plane.

And it was just this perpetuation,

The cycle of,

Oh,

If I just fix this one more block,

Everything's going to fall into place.

Oh,

If I just,

You know,

Do more affirmations,

Things will fall into place.

Oh,

If I,

If I do more,

If I'm more,

If I maybe if I just change completely,

Then I'll get what I'm desiring because obviously I'm not worthy of it.

And it was just this constant inner battle.

And I think it creates that energy of just continuous struggle when we constantly believe that we need to alter ourselves to receive.

It just,

It wasn't working.

And I'll explain more about that.

Yeah.

It just wasn't working for me.

I was feeling stagnant,

Uninspired,

Unconnected,

You know,

Or not connected.

I was just feeling kind of like,

Well,

There's no hope,

See,

Like this doesn't work anymore.

And right there,

That is the drop of the trust,

The drop of the connection.

And you know,

I would,

I would look externally for,

You know,

Oh,

If I do one more meditation,

Then maybe my desires will manifest like one more manifestation meditation.

If I visualize every single day,

Then everything will come.

And it was just,

Again,

How I was saying that perpetuation of I need to do more,

I need to be more,

I need to do-do-do-do-do.

And what created the shift for me was realizing the pain that I kept inflicting within myself,

Inflicting this unworthiness again and again and again and again into my reality.

And all the divine was trying to show me was how worthy I was.

God was just trying to mirror back to me the wholeness,

The innocence,

The purity that I am.

And that doesn't mean that I don't believe that we need to work on ourselves.

But to create this energy of,

Oh,

If I remove this one block,

Everything is going to come.

And then once you remove that block and things don't come,

You start to wonder,

Well,

Then there's more,

There's more,

I need to keep going,

Keep going.

And again,

That perpetual trauma cycle that it was creating within me.

And the co-creation energy that I've stepped into,

I know,

Yes,

I still sit with what I desire.

I think it's amazing to have desires and we need to,

That's why we're here to create,

To birth.

But I sit with what I'm desiring.

I feel it.

And I just offer up,

I ask,

I have a dialogue and then I,

You know,

The action still happens on my part,

But there,

There's this different energy involved and no longer I'm feeling the essence of needing to manifest something,

But I have this deeper understanding of I'm in this process of co-creating.

And if there is a block,

If there's something that needs to be worked through,

It's going to come up and I'll work through it because that is my portion of the co-creation.

But I no longer am searching for the wounds.

I no longer am trying to,

You know,

Perfect my being in order to receive.

I now can feel my wholeness and understand that this is a halfway,

Halfway streak,

Right?

It's not 90,

10,

50,

50 of these are my offers.

These are my desires.

Please help me get there.

I trust that you'll help me get there.

And experiencing that has altered my reality.

I now have found myself in greater ease,

In greater flow,

In greater surrender to what I am desiring.

One because I know it's not just for me.

I just got full body chills.

My desires aren't just for me.

How I want to move forward with them isn't just about me.

What I deeply desire,

Yes,

Of course I want things for myself,

You know,

Beautiful clothing,

Facial massages,

You know,

And that's not wrong.

But at the core of everything that I do,

I want there to be a greater experience on this earth for those who come in contact with me,

For those who,

You know,

Work with me,

Connect with me.

I want there to be that greater experience and not just for those who work with me,

But for those who come in contact with me,

For those who don't even know me.

I want to be as pure as I can be with the veils of mayo that I have because the veils keep being removed.

Again,

How I was saying prior,

I was then connecting to the energy of Shiva and my mantra this year without really realizing has been take from me what is not free.

Take it.

Things started to transpire.

Things started to be removed,

To die.

Literally parts of myself have just been like,

I don't even know who that is anymore.

That's fucking liberating to know that I don't have to even stay in the constructs of who I was,

That I have the ability to continue to purify and to continue to look at my own bullshit.

Where am I perpetuating the pain,

The hurt,

The separation?

Because we all are.

It doesn't matter what type of light worker or healer we are.

There's always going to be this element of perpetuating separation as we are in separation still.

And that's not to shame.

It's just to show us that there are always veils to move through.

And when we think that we are purity,

But we still have this egoic experience of separation,

That's when we really start to feel that misalignment,

That not resonating anymore with individuals.

I think the more we can call ourselves out on our own bullshit and to really look at,

Oh,

What am I perpetuating with this?

With participating in this teaching or sharing this work,

What am I feeding?

Just asking ourselves that,

Checking in.

Even with our desires sometimes it's like,

What am I feeding?

And it's again,

Not always going to be for the highest good.

Sometimes I shop at TJ Maxx.

But other times I buy beautiful,

Sustainable pieces from artists.

And just knowing when I shop through TJ Maxx or places where clothing may come from sources that I don't agree with,

Asking myself,

Why am I doing this?

And it's just this inquiry,

This self inquiry of why.

And again,

It doesn't have to be for the highest and greatest good all the time,

But being honest with ourselves allows us to really purify ourselves,

To create this purity and to really recognize,

Okay,

There's layers in here that are going to need to be moved through.

And this came up for me this week.

That's why I'm talking about shopping at convenient places,

Because I was like,

Okay,

Why am I shopping here?

One,

I was able to find some beautiful,

Sustainable pieces in the chaos that it was,

But also I found some pieces that weren't.

And I was feeling into,

Okay,

Well,

This brings me joy right now to have this item,

To put this on.

And that for me was good.

But then to further shame myself,

Well,

That wouldn't be good.

So that honesty allows us to remove this perfection of,

Oh,

I'm totally pure all the time because we're humans.

We're separate,

But we're also souls that are connected.

We are having a polarizing experience.

And again,

It's that dance between the two polarities,

The two sides,

That dance and being honest with ourselves,

I think will be our greatest way to support humanity,

To support ourselves.

And just taking a look,

Inquiring,

What am I agreeing with?

And again,

Just asking yourself,

Does this no longer feel good?

Some spiritual practices may die off as well.

I know for myself,

I used to always get readings,

Like astrology readings every year.

And I would go get healing sessions all the time,

Like way too often,

Because I was just constantly trying to fix myself.

And I constantly felt that someone outside of me knew how to work with me better than myself.

And support is crucial.

I will never tell someone to not have support.

Never ever.

I myself am a support,

An intuitive facilitator of healing,

A coach.

I support others.

But there comes a point where we ask ourselves,

Am I outsourcing my power?

Am I doing these things because I think that'll be the thing that will fix me?

Or am I doing them because it feels deeply nourishing for my being?

It feels nice and beautiful to be held,

To be seen,

To be supported,

To receive.

Again,

That dance between the energies is so fine.

But the difference in the body that that feels is astronomical.

If you can feel within yourself this constant outsourcing,

This lurking,

This,

Oh,

This will be it,

This will be it.

It has for me this urgency in my chest.

When I think about,

I just want to be held and that feels really beautiful to have a coach,

A healer,

A therapist working with me.

It feels like this ease.

I don't expect them to fix me.

I know I'm in it on my own.

And again,

I'm sharing this because I hired people to fix me.

I hired people as my saving grace.

And that is no longer in alignment.

No one outside of you can give us what we're all deeply craving.

And I think part of it is to stop bullshitting ourselves,

To get really radically honest.

Like,

Aren't we just tired of pretending,

Of wearing masks and armors upon armors and being as heavyweight?

I am tired and I physically can't anymore.

That is why I am here just to speak my truth.

And I invite you to explore what is your truth?

What is weighing heavy on you that you are just saying,

Fuck that.

I don't agree.

Honoring it.

Because we all have certain veils that we are operating from,

All of us.

Once we are enlightened beings,

We all have our own karmic baggage,

Projections,

Expectations,

All of it.

So we may be listening to someone and saying,

Oh,

They know everything,

That's right for me.

And you are the one that knows everything that's right for you.

Other people may have aspects of their own truth that resonates with you.

And that's beautiful to work with,

To invest in.

But yeah,

To look at another and to think that they will save you.

They won't.

And I've learned this.

And it's okay,

I'm on the other side of that now.

And sometimes I think it takes us outsourcing to be able to insource,

To go from within.

So it's all divine I see wherever we are,

Whatever we're actually doing.

It's all perfect because I see the hands of grace in it all.

So even though I outsource myself for years,

That helped me to learn greater discernment and to source from within.

So wherever you are today,

It's beautiful.

Just ask yourself,

Why am I doing this?

Why am I listening to this podcast?

And yeah,

That's the medicine today.

The medicine that I have to offer you.

Keep inquiring,

Ask yourself why.

Check in,

How does this actually feel in my body?

And if it feels like something clicks into place,

Run wild with the wind with it.

For now,

Right?

Still it might no longer click into place.

And know that it's okay for parts of you to die and to transform.

And I just want to share also,

I used to always think this is it.

Always in the back of my mind when I got introduced to a new modality,

Healer,

Whoever I was working with,

It was always this constant energy of this is it.

And I'm going to say,

You are the miracle you are searching for.

You are the miracle you are searching for.

Thank you.

Thank you for joining me here.

I'm really grateful to have this outlet to speak and to be heard.

And yeah,

I would love to hear your feedback.

How do you feel after listening to this episode or any of the episodes?

Let me know how you're liking the sacred dance.

What you would like more of,

What you would like less of.

All is welcome.

So you can email us at hello at activationsbynet.

Com.

And yeah,

Thank you so much.

And I'm deeply,

Deeply grateful.

And if you are someone who is wanting support in their reality,

Because it feels nourishing deeply,

I have spaces for one-on-one coaching.

My coaching container is called embodied goddess.

So this is for the woman who may be an entrepreneur,

A business owner,

Someone that just has a lot going on and working with shifting out of burning out and being this warrior and shifting into a purpose-driven goddess that is here to serve and to love and to connect.

And yeah,

So that is my offering to you.

If it resonates,

You can also email the email I just mentioned,

And that is in the show notes.

And I thank you so much and have a beautiful day.