Cultivate Inner Safety

Before we begin this episode, stop and take a moment to check in with yourself. How are you feeling? What feels deeply nourishing to you today? We are meant to operate in a space of safety. Validation is often sought outside but that is not where it is found. All that you are seeking is within you.

Listen in to this solo episode as I discuss the importance of changing how you speak to yourself, knowing that life is working for you and not against you, and why you don’t need more to feel complete.

Transcript

Hello,

Hello beautiful beings.

I'm gonna light some Palo Santo as I oftentimes do and offer you a space to take a breath.

Deeply inhale through the nose.

Exhale.

Checking in with yourself here in the moment.

Seeing even why have I arrived to this podcast today?

Checking in.

And as oftentimes we just,

You know,

We don't check in with ourselves throughout the day.

Maybe there's a check in in the morning.

Maybe a check in in the evening.

And then throughout that there's often just this expectation of what we should be doing,

Who we should be even in the morning and in the evening.

It's this is what I should be doing.

This is who I should be.

And how often do we check in to make sure that that's actually what feels deeply nourishing to be doing and to be being that individual.

So these solo transmissions have been feeling like a place where I come to you to tell you about the polarity of my existence.

The sacred dance of my daily life,

My healing,

My evolution,

And my realizations.

And I'm always in the healing process.

We always are.

And I think we need to stop looking at healing as this really dark and heavy experience.

Because when we hear we are constantly in the healing process,

That can be like,

Oh,

A big weight on you if healing has always felt like this monster.

Right?

But can we change the dialogue?

Can we change our perception of healing even to just being able to connect to our light more?

Move through some heaviness and connect back home.

And it doesn't have to be a super intense process.

The emotions,

Of course,

Can be really intense,

But the process itself can still hold a sense,

An energy of innocence,

An essence of vibrancy.

So that is where I'm at right now.

Is just looking at where am I perpetuating the pain,

The shame,

And my reality.

And this morning,

I was processing a lot,

Moving through layers of pain,

Layers of fear and frustration around my business.

I feel like if you're an entrepreneur,

A soulpreneur,

Then you know that becoming a business owner,

Offering your soul led aspects of yourself,

Your soul offerings.

That I think is the greatest path to enlightenment.

I mean,

Many teachers and sages probably wouldn't say that,

But I think just be a soulpreneur and put yourself out there as naked as raw.

And you really get to just see it all within.

At least that's been my process.

Right.

When we start to notice what's holding us back and feeling it and reminding ourselves of our worth.

But we can't just remind ourselves of our worth.

We have to look at what is arising.

What is this fear that is being asked to be processed,

To be held?

To be acknowledged.

To be acknowledged.

So I have been sitting with the essence of more.

Wanting more.

More money,

More clients,

More space,

More relaxation,

More travel,

More,

More,

More,

More,

More,

More.

And oftentimes in the healing space,

The coaching space.

And whatever work you even do.

I'm sure you feel the energy of more.

We need more money.

We need more clients.

We need more.

I need to receive more because then that means I'm being more.

Right.

That means I'm exceeding.

I am going in the right direction.

And what I realized this morning.

You know,

Is what are we trying to do with this energy of more?

That's why I'm asking you,

Why are you attending this podcast episode today?

Is it to receive more guidance,

To be more,

To heal more?

Right.

I mean,

That's why I sometimes go to shows,

Of course.

Like,

Where can I work on this more,

Do this better?

But where is that more coming from an energy of validation rather than something that we are trying to find within?

So I want to read to you this,

This element,

This,

This element,

This poem that channeled through me,

This story.

So after I had this breakthrough this morning of realizing.

This is what came through.

Validation is often saw outside,

But that is not where it is found.

When you seek outside,

There is this energy of more,

Needing more,

Being more,

Receiving more.

Because there is a hole that needs tending.

Instead of tending the hole,

We try to fill it with what doesn't fit.

Oftentimes the hole is calling for deep nourishment in form of love and recognition.

Validation that it is okay to feel as you do,

To give yourself the love you needed as a sweet child.

My deepest hole has been formed by fear of not being loved.

That if I am fully me,

That I am alone.

That if I'm in my power,

Then I will be alone.

That if I receive more,

I will be alone.

And do you see how seeking for more outside brings my inner child into utter panic?

She stops more from coming,

Whether it's in form of money,

Love or sweet words.

She protects herself as she felt she needed to many moons ago.

And what I offer her is safety and the reassurance that we are held deeply by the divine.

That all that we seek is usually to feel plugged back in to the divine.

The present gives just that.

Connection,

Prayer and service bring us back to just that.

Through all that you do,

Serve the divine,

Serve them as God incarnated and serve yourself as such too.

All that you are seeking is here now.

Sweet soul,

Find a refuge in your brilliance.

That is safety.

That is love.

And that is home.

Find refuge in it is all working out.

So I want to share that through to you that came through me to share.

Because oftentimes,

You know,

We think,

Oh,

When I get more money,

I'll be happier or this or that.

But oftentimes we are stuck at a certain space because our inner child or our subconscious doesn't feel safe to expand for some reason.

So I'll share with you a bit about how this wound came about that I won't be loved for being me.

So I did a practice to take a look at my limiting beliefs.

I think it was a hypnosis practice a couple of years ago.

And that's when I was really kind of like excavating my healing,

Like,

All right,

I need to move through this all so I can be more.

You know,

Be successful,

Which I shared last week or I should say three weeks ago.

I no longer resonate with that excavation,

The searching for a greater,

You know,

Looking for our our blocks.

I trust that now what needs to be brought up will be brought up.

I don't need to be searching.

Right.

But during that time I was shown I was working with this energy of being afraid of not being loved,

Not being liked.

And I was brought back.

To me as a little infant,

I believe I was six weeks old,

And I cannot believe that my subconscious,

My higher self,

Whatever may have been.

Took me back to that moment.

I was such a small little person that was so imprinted by this.

My mom,

Due to the job that she had,

Had to go back to work after just six weeks of having me.

And,

Oh,

I felt her sadness this morning of how hard that probably was for a woman that just gave birth.

That then to go back,

Basically after a month of bringing your baby into the world.

The heaviness is there.

It's ancestrally woven into me.

And through that moment,

Though,

It kind of brought this energy into me that I will be left.

That I will be alone.

If I myself.

If I'm too loud.

Too much.

Right.

And most of my childhood,

My mom,

My dad,

They both worked so,

So hard.

They're both immigrants from Poland.

And I,

You know,

Didn't get to spend that much time with my mother because of her work schedule.

And always,

You know,

Seeing each other's only really on the weekends and a little bit in the morning and here and there.

But really never getting to connect with this woman.

That is my mom.

And.

Oof.

The tears there,

You know,

The sadness that is there.

But that perpetuated this essence that if I am me.

I'll be left.

And if I'm too much,

If I asked to do too much,

If I asked to,

You know,

For whatever.

That everyone's just going to leave me and my little child didn't know that they weren't leaving me.

They were going to work for money to provide us for our family so that we can eat and so that we can be together.

But,

You know,

The little kid doesn't know that it just thinks,

Oh,

She's leaving me.

He's leaving me.

Did I do something wrong?

Is that why they spend so much time at work?

Is that why they're not home?

Is it because of me?

And that is the energy that's woven into the fabric of who I am.

If I'm too much,

Oh,

No.

Will my partner leave me?

Oh,

No.

If I receive money so easily,

Why be shunned from my hard working.

You know,

Blood,

Sweat and tears,

Family.

It's been so deeply woven in.

And it came back up last night and this morning to be looked at and to be acknowledged.

One,

The sadness that,

You know,

My mom didn't leave because she was leaving me.

She had to go to work and she didn't leave.

She came back,

I'm sure the next day,

In the next couple of hours.

She came back,

You know.

So it's not like she left me.

But it was that abandonment wound within me that kept arising.

That has blocked me from receiving more.

And my life as of now has been so beautifully abundant.

And I've been making money with such ease,

Fully stepping into,

You know,

My business and the things that I'm doing.

I have a beautiful partnership,

Beautiful doggy,

A beautiful home and,

You know.

There's a lot of brilliance around me,

A lot,

A lot of magic that I thought would never be mine because I never thought that this would be possible.

But it was through constantly choosing myself,

Choosing my vision and not choosing to recreate what was,

But choosing anew that allowed me to now live this life.

But I realized within myself,

Even within my partnership,

Within my business,

Within my home,

I try and find the imperfections.

I will hyper focus on the messiness of a kitchen.

Before I can see the beauty that we created a meal and had beautiful conversation in there.

Right.

I will hyper focus on the negative.

Because of that,

Like fear of having too much good.

Because if I have too much good,

Then that means I am like receiving more.

I'm being more.

I'm more open.

Which,

Again,

How I read in the passage.

That puts my inner child into the panic.

That is what brings my inner child.

To start looking around and saying,

OK,

How can we bring ourselves back down so that.

Everything is going to be OK,

No one's going to leave,

No one's going to tell me this,

That or the other,

That everything can be maybe OK.

How,

You know,

Like we think and it's so counterintuitive,

Right?

Oh,

I'm working on my self worth,

So I'll just make myself I'll do these things that make me more worthy.

But where in looking for that self worth and doing the things that makes you more worthy,

Do you actually not feel that?

Do you feel the opposite?

Do you feel more empty or more disconnected?

Is there an element of you that maybe resonates with the story of this sort?

That.

If you love yourself fully.

Are you afraid that you'll be alone,

That you won't need anyone,

You know,

Like we all have our own inner stories.

And then yogic philosophy,

This is called Svadhyaya,

Which is self study,

Self inquiry.

You know,

This constant looking at an examination of self and not in that excavation energy that I mentioned.

That I took to an extreme when I first heard of this Svadhyaya element in the.

The yogic philosophy and the niyamas.

This is just an examination of who you are today,

Where you are today,

What's coming up in the moment.

Right.

To not push aside what is arising,

But to ride it,

To see where it takes you.

So that's the magic of self inquiry,

Right,

Is to kind of see these stories,

These blocks.

Notice when something starts creeping in and.

You know,

You can do this on your own,

But it's so beautiful to have support through a therapist,

A coach,

A healer,

A mentor,

A friend.

Right.

I always ask for.

Energetic support with a friend,

Though,

If they could hold you,

But,

You know.

The inquiry allows you to come back to that light,

Right,

To see where you have kind of gone too far to one side of the polarity.

In a book I read,

What was the author's name?

But it's called The Big Leap.

And he related to a problem of this called the upper limit.

Right.

We have like this upper limit of this max capacity of positive energy that we could hold.

Gay Hendricks was the author's name.

We have this maximum capacity that we could hold.

Positivity,

Goodness in our life.

And.

Then once we've reached that capacity,

Once we once we've made that amount of money,

Once we've had this beautiful day,

We start to sabotage it to bring ourselves back down.

Right.

Maybe you've made,

I don't know,

Twenty thousand dollars and then you have to repair your whole car.

Right.

Or you have the most beautiful,

Glorious day and then you get into a fight with your partner because the dishes or.

Whatever it may be,

You know,

Like you're having a beautiful day with someone like,

Say,

Your mom,

And then you just start to find the issue in the day and then you start to kind of ruin it in a way.

Right.

You start to bring the energy back down to a level that feels safe because so many of us don't know that we're actually meant to feel good.

And I don't even like to use the word good because that inherently means that bad is on the other side.

And if you've been listening to this podcast and exploring me,

You know that I believe in neutrality.

The good,

Bad energy is not.

Something I resonate with.

And.

You know,

I even wrote down the other day,

I remember I wrote,

I believe in the good things coming.

And then I inherently just energetically felt in my chest.

Oh,

Shit.

I then there is that part of me that's like,

Okay,

But where,

When will the bad things come?

So when I start to notice,

Like my nervous system,

My body react to certain phrases,

I switch them.

So when I realized my and how that looks right somatically.

Is when I said,

I believe in the good things coming,

I felt this tightness in my chest.

I felt like there was a knot and that was pulling me in my shoulders inward.

And I just wanted to go really small.

I want to protect myself because.

I knew that that also means bad things will come right.

Or what people perceive as bad things.

And.

I changed the phrasing to,

I believe.

In the grace.

And it all,

Or I believe in seeing the grace in it all.

Which in my body,

There's no response.

Right.

It kind of is congruent with me saying that.

It feels,

Oh,

Yes.

I do believe in the grace and it all.

And,

You know,

Because then that holds that energy of neutrality that holds that energy that.

It is all in divine timing,

That it is all perfectly working for us.

The life is working with us,

Not against us.

That God,

The divine source,

You know,

Universe.

That the hands of grace is in it all.

And that is why I think so many people share.

Their personal stories.

Because no matter.

Most of the time,

The pain,

The trauma that you have moved through.

You can see.

Looking back at your life.

How that actually supported you.

In some way or form to be who you are today.

And if you don't agree with that or resonate with that right now,

Then there's still that progression of healing that you're moving through.

And that's okay.

Right.

It's not about automatically seeing like,

Oh,

I'll just,

This is all just make sense.

I'll just move past this.

You know,

It's about feeling those waves that are coming up.

Throughout the process.

So.

I'm not trying to identify.

That's kind of where I'm at right now.

You know,

Not trying to identify.

Things as good or bad.

And trying to just see the grace in it all and move through those elements of healing.

And,

You know,

Our bodies respond to it all.

The work that I do with my coaching and healing clients is embodiment.

And it's about.

Using the somatic cues of the body as well as dance and movement.

To really have this conversation with the physical body.

To have this conversation with.

The element of us that remembers all of our trauma that remembers all of our trauma.

And then the body.

And then the body.

And then the body.

And then the body.

And then you've seen the book,

The body keeps score.

Well.

The body does keep score.

And your fascia,

Your connective tissue that holds your whole body together.

So your fascia,

I just want to touch on this.

Also fun fact about me before this work that I do now.

I'm not a yoga teacher.

I've been doing yoga for a long time and there's all these elements of anatomy and also,

You know,

Taught yoga and such,

But there's all this energy of anatomy within me.

So.

The fascia is this web of connective tissue that is just being really discovered.

And it's a web of connective tissue that is just being used to understand the body.

And if you eat chicken and if you ever peel that like white filmy layer off chicken.

That is the fossil tissue.

So your fascia,

If you removed.

Your skeleton,

Your organs,

Your whole in their world.

And he just remained in your connective tissue and your fascia,

Your body would still be standing.

And so that's why I'm doing yoga.

I'm doing yoga for a long time.

And I'm just doing yoga for a long time.

And that's also,

You know,

When you have pain on,

You know,

And someone's like,

I have pain in my.

Left hip,

But then my right foot hurts or whatever that like opposite energy it's because the fascia is reacting to the opposite sides.

We won't get into all that anatomy here,

But.

It is.

It's a little bit more of a,

A little bit more of a physical thing that's happening in our body.

And I think that's a little bit greater than I think we can really understand right now.

And that is the energy of embodiment and using those somatic cues.

Right.

When I said,

Oh,

I felt this tightness in my chest.

When I said,

I believe in the good things coming.

My body responded.

No,

No,

No.

I don't like that.

My body felt unsafe or.

I feel like I'm not going to be able to do that.

I feel like I'm not going to be able to do that.

I'll give you a few things that I've kind of switched around.

So the word to do list.

Brings me into.

Immediate fight or flight.

I had to do all this stuff.

So switching to do list to,

To flow.

How does that feel in your body?

If you know that you have a to flow list today.

If you know that you have a to flow list.

How does it feel in your body to know that you were immersed in your day?

Rather than I have such a busy day.

Notice that difference.

Maybe for you,

There's no.

Resonance to that word.

Maybe for you,

A different word.

Could.

Annoy you or,

You know,

Cause this irritation in the nervous system.

Maybe even the word relax as a big one.

So you're not going to be able to do that.

Well,

If you struggle with that.

That's good.

Pick you right up.

So switching,

Relax to letting go.

How does that support you?

Right?

So you have the authority,

The sovereignty to change your entire life if you choose.

Right.

So you have the ability to change your entire life.

If you choose to change your entire life.

The English language is vast.

And the more you can create this safety in your nervous system,

That energy of the parasympathetic response.

That rest and digest energy.

The least.

The less stressed,

The least stressed,

The least stressed you are.

You can then go into yourself and inquire deeper and get to know yourself in these ways.

Because that.

We're meant to operate in that space of safety.

We're not meant to be these stressed out.

Humans and these meat suits,

Just like running around.

Like lunatics.

We are meant to operate in that space of safety.

We,

And also just nervous system wise,

We are meant to operate.

Like the lion.

So let's just take us.

A peek there quickly.

Right.

The lion.

Lioness.

Most of the day.

A lion is hanging out.

And it's looking at the cubs,

Whatever she's doing,

He's doing.

And so that's your parasympathetic.

But when that lion.

Is ready to eat or ready to hunt.

It goes.

It leaps.

And it starts to.

To run right.

It's ready to run.

It starts to kick up.

It's ready to fight where it's ready to run.

To kill right.

Either one.

But it's only ready to do that for a fight.

Like a finite amount of time.

It's not infinite amount of energy that we have to be there because we're in a heightened state.

But we,

As humans in this modern world.

Have to be in the infinite space.

And that we can't be there for too long.

That's great.

We think being in this space of fight or flight is the infinite.

And that being in that space of parasympathetic response is the finite that we can't be there for too long.

So my invitation for you,

As you walk away from this podcast today,

Is to explore the sacred dance of your reality.

Where are you too far.

Trauma response to that fight or flight,

To that survival mode.

Where are you too far?

And how can you cultivate safety in some way there?

To find the sense of balance.

And if you want deeper support around this,

If you feel resonant to reach out to me,

You can always shoot me an email.

And I wanted to also let you know that I have amazing,

Amazing ways to connect coming up.

So I will be published,

I'll have a chapter published in an amazing book called Legacy Speaks.

And that will be coming out May 7th.

So I will have a whole episode dedicated to legacy and all that beauty when that time comes out.

I'm so excited to share with you the medicine that I shared,

But also the medicine that all the other women,

24 other women in this book have shared.

So that is an exciting thing that is moving and grooving.

And within my publishing house,

There is an amazing book coming your way called Caged No More.

It's a wisdom from women who have broke free from societal constraints.

And if you want to experience the healing work that I mentioned,

I do have a few spaces open for one-on-one coaching and support.

So if it resonates with you to connect with me deeper,

Or even just let me know how you're loving this podcast,

How you're feeling,

Any aha moments,

You can email me at hello at activationsbyanette.

Com.

Well,

That's just the quickest,

Easiest way.

Shoot me an email and yeah,

That's the medicine of this podcast.

Take a look at where you can create more safety in your reality and bring yourself down from that fight or flight mode.

Thank you for giving me this space.

And yeah,

This is amazing.

Oh,

Enjoy,

Enjoy,

Enjoy.

Reviews

Lots of good tidbits in there! Very interesting, thanks for sharing Annette 🙏💕