Feel it to heal it.
What does that even mean?
I'm sure you've heard of this sentence and I've heard of it so many times without understanding what is really meant by it.
So I feel inspired to talk about it a little bit because it has become my life's motto and it is becoming my life's work.
And the reason why is because it's the truth.
If we really want to heal from our trauma,
From our triggers,
Anxiety,
Fears,
All that,
We need to feel whatever lies underneath.
Trauma is stored in the body and ever since we are born,
We get a little bit traumatized and I don't mean that in an extreme way.
We don't have to be raped or abused or robbed or grow up in a war in order to be traumatized.
It's enough to just misunderstand something.
Be in an environment where people are stressed around you.
Maybe your parents are in a difficult situation.
Maybe they are fighting.
Maybe someone lost their job.
Maybe you have a lot of siblings.
It's nobody's fault.
But as a little child,
We are very vulnerable and the smallest threat can make us believe we are going to die.
And think about it.
It's a fact.
If our parents leave us as a baby,
We are going to die.
So it's very natural that this fear is ingrained in our system and it stays there unless we consciously let it go.
And in order to do that,
We need to feel.
We need to let our emotions flow through our body.
And I haven't done that for many years.
But now I love doing it.
And it wasn't easy to get there.
It was very scary.
For the longest time,
I wasn't able to feel.
I wasn't able to cry.
Fear became anxiety without even understanding what is happening.
It became stress.
It became numbing.
I developed so many coping mechanisms.
I did so much sport.
I was drinking.
I was partying.
I was dating.
I was distracting myself.
I was eating.
There's just so much you can do in order to not feel.
But at one point I realized the only way out is through.
And that's what I did.
I changed my whole life from one day to the next.
And it was the scariest thing I ever did.
And I didn't realize it when I did it.
It was just afterwards where all this panic came.
You know,
I quit my job.
I let go of every safety net.
I let go of my relationship.
I let go of the country I grew up in.
I let go of money,
Security,
Of all that.
And suddenly I was all by myself in a foreign country with no income,
Little savings,
No idea how I would make money.
I was alone.
Like,
I didn't really have friends.
I didn't know what to do.
And oh my god,
I got so scared.
But luckily I had access to tools that allowed me to feel.
And I want to share those tools.
They are simple.
They are things we should have learned as little children.
And some of us did,
But then we forgot.
Remember lying on the floor and stomping your feet and hands into the earth?
That's one of the tools.
Give it a try.
You're going to love it.
Shaking,
Dancing,
Screaming,
Pillow-punching,
Like all these things,
They are so valuable.
And once you allow to fully feel into that,
It just moves through you.
And it's going to make you feel amazing.
Like once that deep fear or whatever feeling is coming up moves through you,
You're left with bliss and joy and excitement and happiness.
You know,
My emotions were really flat.
Like I rarely felt very low or very high.
Like some people call that lucky.
I call it numb.
And even back then I called it numb.
And now the spectrum widens all the time.
Like I have days I feel terrified.
Like there is a fear inside of me that makes me scared to die.
Rationally I know it's not going to happen just because I'm alone doesn't mean I'm going to die.
But it is ingrained in my body.
And I learned to let it out.
And once I do,
I feel so much happiness.
Like 10 minutes later,
I'm dancing in my garden.
I'm listening to music.
I'm so happy to be alone,
To enjoy this life.
And my deepest desire is to share this.
And my deepest desire is to share these tools and this knowledge and be an example of what you can get if you're just brave enough to feel.
And also show that it's not so bad.
Emotions are part of life and I'm so deeply grateful to experience all of them like full spectrum.
This is why I'm here.
This is why we're all here.
We want to have an experience.
And I want to inspire you to have this experience as well.
To live fully.
Whatever that means for you.
