Steadying Yourself In Isolation

Andy's live Instagram session recorded 9th April 2020. Learn how to steady yourself during this time where we're all required to isolate ourselves from our nearest and dearest. Learn how to work we the fear and uncertainty we're all feeling.

This session is a space to reflect on where you're at right now, with all that's going on in the world, and bring some kindness and compassion to your vulnerable self. I hope you enjoy it. The sound quality isn't amazing but I've done my best with it.

Transcript

Hello folks,

Thank you for joining me here in the UK.

It's midnight so hopefully this is a coherent session.

This is really just a space for a bit of reflection for yourselves,

Being the time we're in where a lot of us are finding ourselves in isolation on our own and with others too,

Which is good and bad.

I've not done one of these before so it's kind of nice seeing people joining.

So really I just invite you for this session just to give yourself permission to feel what you're feeling right now.

Give yourself permission to,

You know,

Have that sense of uncertainty,

Of busyness,

Of fear,

Of anything.

Or joy,

Perhaps you're feeling great today.

Maybe it's not midnight where you are.

So yeah,

It's just a little kind of pause for you really.

So the world seems to be in chaos at the moment,

You know.

We see it in the news,

We see upheaval in different countries and what happens is we internalize all this stuff,

You know.

We let it all in and rightfully so,

You know.

We've got a family to worry about and you know ourselves to worry about as well.

And you know the simple things we took for granted.

Hello in Mexico City there.

You know things like food,

You know,

I've been trying to get some bread for a few weeks.

It's not easy.

So we're finding really difficult times and yeah we don't have anything to do but take it all in inside of us.

And we have it in our thoughts,

We have it in our feelings,

In our bodies and even very subtly when we wake up in the morning something's kind of changed for us.

So really I just like to give you something to help you steady yourself a bit.

Move into isolation,

You know,

And let it be a nourishing time in a way and also a time to be yourself.

I don't want to give you anything new.

I don't want to give you a set of things you have to do each day.

I want you to kind of feel,

You know,

This is this is how you are and that's okay.

So I thought I'd begin with a little poem from Martha Possil III.

It's a lovely poem.

It's in one of my meditations as well.

Because I think at the moment a lot of us feel that we need to save the world and save ourselves and we've been put in this position where we can't do anything,

Can't go anywhere,

You know.

The world's kind of come to a stop and that can feel difficult and it can feel difficult to be with ourselves.

I was speaking with another lovely,

Wonderful meditation teacher called Carrie Grossman.

I was saying how you can go on retreats,

You know,

If anyone's done a meditation retreat.

You know,

When I first did one I thought,

Oh here we go.

It's gonna be blissful being on my own,

My thoughts and what actually happens is you come face to face with yourself.

You have to meet yourself and go,

Hello.

Ah,

This is you.

This is you.

Here's your deepest fears.

Here's what goes on in your head every day that you kind of cover up with being busy.

Of course we're so busy in our lives,

A lot of this stuff does get covered up and now we're having to meet ourselves.

We're all having to come home and meet ourselves every day and that's with our,

Sort of our families and and that feeling of,

You know,

Not having contact with people physically and,

You know,

Person to person.

So,

Yeah,

A little poem just to begin.

Do you not try and save the world or do anything grandiose.

Instead create a clearing in the dense forest of your life and wait there patiently until the song that is your life falls into your own cut hands and you recognize it and greet it.

Only then you know how to give yourself to this world so worthy of rescue.

So,

You know,

The song that is our life,

You know,

That's,

It doesn't have to be a sweet song,

You know,

The song that is our life can be,

It can be what we're feeling now,

Isolation,

Fear,

Doubt,

Uncertainty,

Sadness,

Longing,

All this kind of stuff.

And today I'd like to invite you to greet the song that is your life and not try and change that but come towards it with a little bit more compassion,

A little bit more empathy.

You know,

These are tough times.

I'm at home and I'm with my lovely three-year-old and a baby and we're all in the same house.

We've been in isolation.

We're all ill for a few couple of weeks anyway so we've been in isolation for a while and you have to dig pretty deep,

You know,

You can be pulled off into all kinds of places and you can lose patience with people,

You can lose patience with children and there's also a wonderful time and it's,

You know,

I'm starting to notice lots of things like that I live in London,

There's not many planes around,

There's a lot more sounds like that in nature I can hear outside and I also notice my own voice and my own fears and my own doubts and my own,

When's this going to be over?

And that's where the kind of practice comes in and that's in your meditation.

If you meditate,

If you don't meditate yet,

I'm going to do a meditation a little later that will kind of help us explore that kind of what comes up and work with it in a different way and then we'll have a bit of time for some questions too,

You can ask me anything and see how we go.

So first things first,

It is midnight.

I think I have a little sip of coffee just to keep me going with my little dog mug.

I'm a trusty dog.

If you have a drink,

A hot drink,

Please have a sit,

Take a pause,

Enjoy it.

So let's start with our meditation now I think and then I'll answer some questions a bit later but the last thing I really want to say is right now as you kind of listen and I know that it's strange,

You know,

I'm another person speaking on a screen and we kind of,

I think there's a bit of fatigue there,

You know,

It's nice to listen to someone but this it feels like a kind of disconnection sometimes and really hold your own space where you're sitting right now and whatever you're doing if you're sitting somewhere and there's busyness around you,

You know,

That's okay,

That can be there and I invite you to connect with some vulnerability,

See what that's like,

Connect with your vulnerable self,

Your,

Sometimes you call it your inner child and just notice what that's like and do it without judging yourself and do it very softly and do it,

Really acknowledge where you're at,

You know,

You're here,

You're gonna meet yourself and this is what this situation is about,

It's about meeting yourself and hey,

Hey,

Well here's the person I've been ignoring because I've been so busy in my life and then this thing's happened,

It's devastating,

You know,

It's killing lots of people but here I am,

I'm in a house,

In a room,

Wherever I am,

I'm in there,

You know,

We're always in there,

We've always been there,

In there all our lives and let's kind of go,

Okay,

Well this is an opportunity to turn things around,

Get to know myself,

Find a bit of inner strength,

Bit of inner courage and then of course we can help others as well from that place a bit easier rather than just being so lost in ourselves as well,

Nothing wrong with that either,

Nothing wrong with feeling fear,

Often,

You know,

We're told fear,

Oh no,

We shouldn't feel fear,

We need to feel something else,

We're getting it wrong if we're feeling fear,

That's not true,

Feeling fear is just an invitation to go,

What's going on,

What needs healing,

What needs soothing,

So yeah,

I'm gonna stop kind of going on,

I could keep talking,

I'm gonna play a little bit of music on my complicated stereo system that's usually for my toddler to sleep and it's very kindly let me use it,

If he does wake up tonight,

Hopefully he won't come downstairs but if he does he might join us,

Who knows,

So hopefully this works,

I mean Instagram may not have the sound capabilities but hopefully it sits under my voice a bit okay,

I'll put this down,

Enough guitar for today,

Have a sip of coffee,

Hmm,

I hope you can hear me okay because I do kind of naturally talk quite quietly,

So yeah,

And thanks,

I'm seeing messages coming up,

I don't want to get too pulled into that,

I will have a little look later on but thank you everyone for joining me and all your messages and things,

Oh someone's asked me what my name is,

I don't think I introduced myself,

My name's Andy Hobson so nice to meet you all,

Wherever you are in the world,

Welcome to the UK,

It's it's wonderful here,

Alright so let's meditate,

So for anyone who's meditated before I invite you to kind of bring in a beginner's mind and anyone who's never meditated and you've just kind of heard about this somewhere just you know you're very welcome,

You're here,

This is for you as well,

It's for everyone,

There's no secret meditation powers,

So this is your first time to meditate,

You're here,

You're human,

You're in there,

It's good,

So first things first,

Let's just get a little bit comfortable,

Relax your shoulders a bit,

Give them a bit of a rub,

If you've just woken up,

Obviously you're after noon,

You've had a bit of a day,

You know,

Kind of a bit of a shake,

If there's any fear or anxiety or anything going on,

A bit of busyness,

Just get rid of it,

Don't get rid of it,

It's fine you can stay there but you can just have a shake and just get yourself,

There's no particular meditation posture,

If you want to sit upright,

If you're feeling sleepy,

That's fine,

You can just lie back in your chair a bit,

Adjust yourself,

Whatever works,

If you want to lie down and just,

You don't have to look at me,

It's just going to be my face and this curtain,

Which is,

I'm in my kitchen at the moment,

So that's probably not going to change,

I'm not going to get in anything too exciting,

And then close your eyes if you want to and you can open them if you wish,

It's up to you closing your eyes just helps us to kind of settle inwards a little bit,

But I also invite you if you close your eyes and you're just like,

There's too much,

There's thoughts and,

You know,

There's too much,

Just open your eyes,

Just sit and just be in the room,

Just look around,

I'm here,

I'm in there and this is a little pause,

So just take a nice deep breath in now sends a little message to your body to self-regulate,

Tells your body that it's alright,

Whatever's going on in my mind,

In my thoughts,

In my emotions,

It's okay,

Another deep breath,

All the way down into your belly now breathe out,

And just settle into the surface you're sitting on,

Let it hold you,

We're all on the earth,

This planet is pretty solid,

It can hold us,

It can hold a lot,

So really let your body hold what you're feeling or thinking now,

It's all welcome and just notice where your thoughts are,

Where your feelings are,

Where are you today,

Whether it's the morning or the afternoon,

Where have you landed for me I sense a bit of busyness,

Day in life,

It's dream,

It's kind of a bit of energy here,

I'm just going to breathe into that,

So there's no need to change anything,

Let it be there,

Being with yourself,

Being with yourself now that you're enough right now,

We have the sense that we haven't arrived,

We've never arrived,

We need to be this or that to be enough,

So just feeling enough,

You have my permission and another deep breath in,

Breathe out,

Now just gently meeting yourself,

You can ask yourself in your head,

How are you,

How are you really doing there may be a voice that says I'm really struggling,

This is so tough,

It could be just a voice chattering about how am I going to do something this day,

How am I going to feel my day,

How am I going to entertain my kids how am I going to sit with this fear for another day,

Perhaps you're in a vulnerable space,

Just meet yourself and smile back,

Smile back at that vulnerability give yourself a little sunshine,

Smile back and you can say to yourself it's okay,

It's here,

Let it be here and if there's still a sense of busyness in your body or in your mind and you feel that you're not getting meditation quite right,

You're not in the space or the zone,

You can let go of that,

There's no right or wrong in meditation it's just meeting what's here right now with some compassion,

Sense of heart,

Sometimes it's nice just to put your hand on your chest and your heart space,

Do that now,

Even that touch,

She sends a nice message to our body especially for anyone who's not had any physical contact with anyone,

If you miss the hugs,

Put your hand there and breathe into anywhere that just feels vulnerable,

Feels lonely,

Isolated,

Fearful,

Really breathe into that vulnerability and meeting it maybe if it's really intense,

Give it a really deep breath,

Meet it at the level it's at and just to learn whatever arises in each moment just to come and go just as you've met yourself here however you are,

Meeting what passes by,

Meeting your emotions,

Meeting body sensations,

Meeting the space,

Meeting the stillness and as you do this,

Sometimes we can tense up a little bit in meditation because we're focusing on something,

Trying to get it right so just put your feet on the floor,

Make sure your feet are nice and firmly on the floor or relax into your bed a bit more,

Release your shoulders really feeling held,

Knowing there's no performance here,

There's nothing to be done even letting go that this is a meditation,

Just a moment for yourself,

A moment to be yourself a moment to see where you're at often when we feel isolated,

Uncertain,

Fearful,

We have that feeling of lack,

Incompleteness or a sense of being fragmented that we shouldn't be here,

We should be ahead of time or in the past when things were easier but yet here we are so notice what it's like,

It's always an experiment,

Everyone's different,

You find your own way and it's what it's like to completely drop into this moment completely being here noticing the spaces between my voice,

Between the words noticing the music,

Noticing judgements as well,

That it's too loud or too quiet noticing the hum of the room,

Maybe a ticking clock and then noticing your body,

Your whole body here,

Doing this with kindness and care starting at your centre,

Getting as close to your centre as feels comfortable,

So whenever it makes sense,

The centre of your body and gradually since moving your awareness outwards,

Expanding out to the outside world and almost imagining that your body and the outside world are one that seems a bit strange,

Just staying with your body,

That's okay but after all we are just atoms vibrating together so in fact we are connected with the outside world,

Very much so as we are connected to each other and although there seems to be a lot of distance between everyone right now,

Physically just get a sense in your heart of the people you miss right now get a sense of their energy breathe with this notice the emotions that come up,

Remember this there's no right or wrong,

Sadness may come,

Joy may come,

Fear,

Worry breathing with it connects into the heart space and knowing that you can connect with these people in your life they've impacted you so much that you've internalised who they are and what they are and what they offer you so allow them to be here if that feels comfortable and again,

Just checking in with yourself,

Notice how you are you can even open your eyes if they're closed for a minute just notice being here in this room again smiling back at the space you're in and thoughts may pull you away and say that you shouldn't be sitting here doing meditation you should be worrying about everything and checking something or looking out into the world but hear that voice,

Hear what it has to say,

Hear what's underneath it and send it some kindness as well,

It just wants to be heard we just have to listen to ourselves a little bit more and this sense of being on our own is that time now continuing to breathe allowing anything that seems to stick to you,

Allowing it to fall away if it wants to or stick around thoughts,

Feelings,

Emotions becoming less but feeling complete in that,

Even with a sense of lack in this moment knowing that you're enough being in the silence,

In the sound,

Being with yourself in a caring way,

Turning back around and meeting yourself just as you are allowing the silence,

The stillness,

Even the feelings of fear,

Isolation,

Loneliness or uncertainty to hold you to let you know that it all wants to be heard and understood now just gradually bringing your senses more into the outside world noticing sounds around you,

Sound of my voice sounds where you are right now noticing that anticipation that this meditation might end noticing the energy going outwards,

That's okay and we're just coming to the end of this meditation I just want you to internalise this space or any sense of calm you felt but also acknowledge the fear you felt,

Acknowledge the inner turmoil that might be there and know that it's okay,

It's our human experience it's just a little call to you to send it some care and attention and love,

That's all so if you hear that little voice in your day,

Throughout your day that says it's too much,

That says I can't handle this then send that love right back and go I hear you,

I've met you now and you're welcome so when you're ready,

You can open your eyes and there's no need to change anything,

You're still here and I want that to continue your presence however you are so I've got a little bit of time left here so if anyone has any questions or anything they'd like to say,

I'm very happy to answer them or we can,

Recently I've kind of really got into mantras and chanting and using voice I mean music's a big part of my life anyway but the vibration of singing or the vibration of playing an instrument I find really calming and sometimes in meditation it's really hard to sit and be still and really feel okay there's a lot of wonderful teachers actually on Insight Timer that teach mantras and chanting and things and Kerry Grossman is one of them you should have a check her out and yeah I think when we find it too hard to sit,

We find it too difficult so just a little bit of vocal vibration can really help so I'm going to invite you actually to do a bit of a chant just an om for the universe,

For peace,

For all the people who are really struggling right now particularly in countries where starvation is a real factor of this epidemic as well I'm no great singer here so don't expect anything too special,

Plus it's almost one o'clock in the morning but just kind of join in if you will or sing or do whatever you want and then I'll answer some questions alright here we go so om is just a sound,

It's the sound of the universe,

It's whatever you want it to be I find it very healing and I just think singing just helps you breathe anyway,

We don't breathe deep enough so we all need to breathe deeper,

That really helps om om om om om om om om om om om om om om om om om om om om om om om so so so,

Yeah anyone's got any questions I'll scroll through thank you everyone for checking in,

This is all new to me,

It's very exciting oh my favourite mantra at the moment is Ramadhasa and I'm very excited,

I've been working with Kerry Grossman which I keep mentioning because it's amazing we've been working on a new version of Ramadhasa that we're going to release on Insight Timer it's kind of a slightly different feel and tempo but it's kind of her voice and my music together and we just tried it as an experiment and it's really sounding beautiful Ramadhasa,

I could say that all day,

My little 3 year old,

Because I've been recording it,

He's been singing it as well he's heard it so many times it's just amazing,

We're all over the world,

All these people coming from so many different places and we are all connected if this situation tells us anything,

A virus can affect the entire world like this and we all have been feeling so disconnected with the social media I'm on Instagram here,

We're connected but the things that it brings out in people,

Endless emails people don't talk as much on the phone and things like that and that's turned around,

People are talking on their computers and things people are calling each other now as well and I'm having some great shouting times with my neighbours across the road as well so what was I saying?

We are connected,

We really are it's a superficial thing of,

Oh yeah we're all connected but people are digging deep to help others myself,

I'm very much in my life,

In my work,

In my family it can take over sometimes,

Your immediate family,

Your kids they take so much energy and time but this happening has really got me thinking about when the people who live in my neighbourhood there's a lot of older people that live around me who are really scared,

Terrified of getting this it's been amazing to contact them and offer them to help and what comes back,

The gratitude,

The kindness that comes out and I'm getting to know people on my street that I didn't know I've walked past,

Smiled at maybe so that's amazing there's a quote from them,

Anne Lamott,

I don't know if anyone knows Anne Lamott just on the subject of going back to isolation which is what this is about staying yourself,

There's no wonder that with these situations where we're suddenly on our own with our thoughts,

We just feel so unsteady because we are meeting ourselves,

Which we did in our meditation Anne Lamott says,

My mind is like a bad neighbourhood I tend not to go there alone the takeaways from this session really are self-kindness,

Always,

Fear,

Uncertainty,

Worry really intense fear and uncertainty and dread and not being a face another day don't feel guilty about it,

We're human beings and it's just a call to go,

Be kind to yourself thank you very much fear,

Thank you very much thank you very much,

I need to be a bit kinder to myself I'm finding this tough,

So be kind and you'll send it out to other people too so that's really important and the other thing is choice,

We actually choose quite often to invest in all these thoughts and feelings and place our attention on them and they grow bigger and bigger and bigger and escalating this is why we end up starting the day feeling ok and by the end of the day we're a nervous wreck because we've looked at the news too much so really protect your space,

Be your own peacekeeper,

Look after it if you look after your peace,

Your space then again you're going to be able to help people better I've tinnitus,

I've got rene in my ears too many years of playing drums and I barely notice it now,

I don't want to talk about it and I used to purposely try and find a quiet room to listen to it and that's what we do with our thoughts we try and,

I need to think about that worry again I haven't thought about it quite enough and actually when I just let it be and left it alone and didn't try to find it the rene kind of just completely disappeared and it's kind of in our mind anyway which I thought so I do so there's that as well oh I'm almost out of time but I thought I'd do a little bit of wisdom from Dao Te Ching oh should I do this one?

I've got a little book of just poems and things I've collected ah yeah this is a nice one so I'll end with this thank you everyone for kind of showing up and listening and really appreciate it and it's just been lovely to do this session afternoo I don't do things like this very often I'm a bit shy on doing live stuff so it's lovely,

I might do some more it's great so Lao Tzu always we hope always we hope someone else has the answer some other place will be better some other time it will all turn out this is it no one else has the answer no other place will be better and it has already turned out at the centre of your being you have the answer you know who you are and you know what you want there is no need to run outside for a better scene nor to peer from a window but rather abide in the centre of your being for the more you leave it the less you learn search in your heart and see the way to do is to be and just to say being is to be just to say being to be is to be with everything it's not this blissful state I'll just be floating along in the cloud I tell you from first hand experience going on a retreat in silence I've done a lot of being it's always sweet so just be be yourself I really hope everyone finds their settles into this situation take it day by day if you have a terrible day or bad morning every moment is a chance to turn it all around I've shout at my toddler a couple of days ago and you make up for it rupture and repair with families rupture and repair with yourselves thank you so much everyone I'm going to check out now have a lovely day,

Evening wherever you are this will go up,

I'm going to hopefully not press the wrong button I'm going to download it and it will go up on Insight Timer take care everyone have a lovely day it's bedtime for me,

It's 1 o'clock in the morning but thankfully coffee has kept me going so I'm very grateful for coffee today Bye for now!

Reviews

What a gift...a gentle, accepting time of who we really are when we let ourselves look inside. It slowly became apparent that it was recorded during the pandemic, maybe early in it. I thought I was being a coward feeling fearful because the pandemic is over. But I guess there will always be fear just as there will be ways to be fearful together and find our way to loving each other and ourselves anyway

Andy is a treasure. What fun to hear this, his very first Live, given that I’ve been loving all of his offerings on IT (courses, music, lives, talks) for a long time now.
Thank you, Andy.
You’re a gem. xxxooo

Thank you for you sweet sweet calm.

Loved this. Felt his kind presence. Calming.

Another beautiful, genuine session. Thank you, Andy.

Thank you Andy. Did you know when you recorded this that it would be ever more pertinent so many months later? Things have become harder for me as the pandemic lingers on. I handled it okay at first but am finding it harder now, so I am grateful to have finally listened to this session.

You are the calm caring friend in the middle of uncertainty. Thank you Andy. Stay safe

Really appreciate the gentleness toward the fear and disconnection we are all feeling. I needed this. It slowed me down. Thank you, Andy.

This was amazing! It helped me feel settled with what is going on within me and what is being reflected from the outer world. I appreciate the place of vulnerability that you went to as well. it helped me in connecting to you and what you offered each of us. Thank you for what you're offering me and others.

It’s been three months since this meditation was recorded and it’s as much needed today as it was then. I love Andy and his choice of words, his voice and his messages. Namaste Andy. ✨🙏✨

You’re the best Andy
Loved your singing.

Andy I cannot thank you enough for your generosity of spirit. You have such a gift. Your voice, your words, your music, your kindness... all of them beautiful, healing, and restorative. Thank you.

Andy, I really love this, thank you, it felt like having a friend in the room...
The conversational nature of this was lovely, calming, very accessible and approachable.
I liked hearing about your kitchen curtains and dog mug and toddler, it feels like meditating with a friend and not a teacher.
It would be lovely to have more ‘conversations’ like this on your area of IT. For days where I want a kind friend and don’t feel up to a ‘teacher’, if I’m feeling a bit low, or irritable.
Does that make sense? Anyway thank you, it was lovely.

Thanks so much, Andy. Self-kindness is tough for me. I get angry for not handing this better. Hardest is not knowing the future, but we never do, right? Thanks for your thoughts on making this a more positive, learning experience.

Thanks Andy for this beautiful and humane meditation
Your voice and tone are very soothing

What a lovely meditation and positive message throughout. Thank you.

Thank you Andy. A lovely glimpse into a beautiful soul.

That was really wonderful. I loved the poetry and music as well. Thank you!🙏🏽🕉❤️

That was a really nice conversation—and meditation—Thank you so much!

Thank you for taking the time to share your experience, some lovely music, the genuine honesty - all to connect us during this time of isolation. 💕