Okay,
Who's this creature?
Hmm,
You look like you might be here for the cheeky monkey test.
Is that correct?
Yep,
Excellent.
Well,
You are in the right place.
So I'm going to start with a few questions so we can get to know each other a little bit.
Firstly,
Can you hear me okay in this ear?
Yep,
And that ear too.
Brilliant,
Perfect.
Okay,
So what is your name?
Okay,
Good name,
Good name,
Just write that down.
Okay,
And what is your favourite colour?
Unusual.
Okay,
And your favourite food?
What's your favourite food?
Didn't expect that,
But I'll put it down anyway.
All right,
And how old are you?
Ah,
Actually,
Let me just guess.
Let's have a look at you.
Hmm,
By the look of you,
You probably,
I can't tell,
You're going to have to tell me.
Okay,
Yep,
Good age,
Good age,
Fantastic.
And your school?
I have heard excellent school dinners there,
I believe.
Right,
I think you're ready for the cheeky monkey test.
Oh no,
It's a fly.
Is it there?
Is it there?
Oh,
It's gone round the back,
It's gone round the back.
I've got to catch that.
Oh,
Come here.
I can't believe you've got a fly.
It's happened a few times already today.
Oh,
All right,
Shoo,
Shoo,
Shoo,
Shoo,
Shoo,
Shoo,
Shoo,
Shoo,
Go on,
Off you go.
Thank you.
Right,
Where were we?
Okay,
So we need to put on the colour.
Right,
Where were we?
Okay,
So we need to put on the calmometer.
And this is just going to see just how calm you are.
Don't worry,
It's not really a test.
So I'll just put one of your ears,
Don't mind me.
One on there,
One on there,
And okay,
That fits pretty good.
Okay,
Can you still hear me?
Still hear me?
Brilliant.
Right,
So we're checking if you are in fact a cheeky monkey.
I'm going to invite you just to close your eyes for a minute.
That's it,
Don't worry,
I'm still here.
Okay,
Now take a nice deep breath in through your nose.
Breathe out,
Breathe out,
Breathe out,
Breathe out,
Breathe out.
That's good.
I've done this before,
I think.
Very good.
Okay,
Now take one more deep breath in all the way through your nose.
And breathe out,
Breathe out,
Breathe out,
Breathe out,
Breathe out.
Brilliant,
That is great.
Now,
As you sit here with your eyes closed,
I want you to notice how you're feeling today.
Are you feeling happy or sad or excited or calm or sleepy or confused or not quite right?
How do you feel?
And it doesn't matter how you feel,
We're just checking in.
Okay,
No problems.
Now,
I want you to remember one thing and one thing only.
And that is,
However you feel right now,
Whether it's sleepy or happy or sad or angry,
It's all right and you're still awesome.
And you must always remember this,
However you feel,
Deep down underneath all those feelings,
You are 100% awesome.
Could you take one more deep breath in for me?
Thank you.
Okay,
Take a deep breath.
Breathe out,
Breathe out,
Breathe out,
Breathe out,
Breathe out.
Brilliant.
And then say to yourself in your head,
I am awesome.
You doing it?
Brilliant.
Right,
Just tick that one off.
Okay,
So the last test is the banana test.
I have to do this one every time.
Okay,
So have you done this one before by the way?
No,
You sure?
Okay,
Right.
All I want you to do is try to not think of a banana.
That's all you've got to do.
Don't think of a banana.
Use all your superpowers not to think of a banana.
Have you done it?
Is there a picture of a banana in your head now?
Okay,
That's fine.
Let's try again.
Let's try again.
Don't worry,
Don't worry,
Don't worry.
Okay,
One more time.
Try your very best.
Okay,
Not to have a picture of a banana in your head right now.
See if you can do it.
Okay,
See if it pops into your head.
Don't think of a big delicious banana.
Okay,
Has it worked?
Um,
I think you thought of a banana again,
Didn't you?
Did you?
Yeah,
I thought so,
Don't worry.
Okay,
Well,
I don't know what to say really.
No one passes this test by the way.
And I'm just going to make a few more notes.
I'll take your calmometers off.
One and two.
And those two together.
Is that okay?
Is that okay?
Good,
Brilliant.
Okay,
So just check my notes.
And don't worry about that banana test.
No one ever passes that.
Do you know why?
Because we can't really control what pops into our heads.
Anything can pop in any time.
And it's the same with anything like worries,
Or if there's something going around our mind that's upset us,
Anything like that.
It just pops into our head and that's all right.
And all you have to do is something you've just learned already,
Which is to remember that you're awesome.
And that's it,
Simple.
So when you're feeling worried,
Or you're angry,
Or you're upset about something,
All you've got to say to yourself is,
I'm still awesome.
Even with all those feelings and thoughts and everything.
And I can't really stop them popping into my head.
So I might as well just leave and be.
Right,
I'll make my final notes.
So one more look at you,
Just to check if we have.
Okay,
Well,
By the looks of things,
I think you have done it.
Yep,
You're officially a cheeky monkey.
Congratulations,
Have a banana.
Well,
Thank you very much for coming here today.
You're welcome back any time you need a reminder that you're awesome.
Okay,
Or if you just needed a banana.
Okay,
See you soon.
Bye for now.
You're staying?
You seem to still be here.
Uh,
You can go now.
We're done.
I'm finished.
I've got notes to write.
Oh,
All right.
Okay,
Fine.
Fine,
Fine,
Fine.
I'll play you a bit of guitar.
Here we go.
One,
Two,
Three,
Four.
