In this meditation we're going to be using mindful self-compassion to let go of feelings of shame,
Inadequacy,
Thinking or feeling that you're not good enough in any way.
In my experience these thoughts and feelings are really at the root of our suffering.
They make life so much more unpleasant and difficult.
They get in the way of our goals,
Of having happy relationships and feeling happy within ourselves.
Since I've discovered mindful self-compassion I've really improved how much acceptance and kindness I can have towards myself and I find that pretty much everyone I share this with has a similar experience.
It really works very well and it has three separate components.
The first component is to acknowledge the suffering that we're experiencing,
Which is the opposite of what we often do,
Which is to try to distract away from it,
Ignore it,
Deny it.
Some people feel a sense of ease just from acknowledging that their suffering is suffering.
Secondly we acknowledge that we're not alone in it,
A sense of common humanity,
Whereas what we often do is have this sense that we're the only one,
We're the only one that feels this sad or depressed or lonely or anxious and that's never the case.
Of course many people,
If not everyone,
Has had the same feelings you've had.
Thirdly we practice being kind to ourselves verbally and physically,
Which again is the opposite of what we often do,
Which is to be harsh,
To be critical,
To tell ourselves that we're useless or not good enough or more aggressive words than that.
So settling into a comfortable position,
Taking a moment to see if there's something that you could do to help yourself to be even 1% more comfortable with an extra layer or one less layer or adjusting yourself with a cushion,
Having your feet flat on the floor,
Cross-legged or you could lie down,
Whatever's most comfortable.
Starting with eyes open and taking some deeper breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth,
In through the nose and out through the mouth,
In through the nose and out through the mouth.
Closing the eyes,
Allowing the breath to return to its natural rhythm,
Feeling the weight of the body sinking down into the surface that you're sitting or lying on.
Softening the forehead,
Softening the jaw,
Allowing a slight smile and imagining the smile radiating out through your mind and body.
Notice if doing that has any effect for you.
Allowing your shoulders to relax back and down a little bit more,
If they want to,
And breathing into a softening belly,
Following your breath all the way in and all the way out.
When your mind wanders that's okay,
Just patiently bringing your attention back again to your breathing.
And now seeing if you can connect with the thought,
I'm not good enough,
I'm not good enough.
And as you do that,
Noticing if anything happens in your body.
Do you feel it in your belly area,
Your chest,
Your throat,
Your jaw,
Your face.
Seeing if you can notice where this sense of shame or not being good enough is felt in the body.
If it feels too much you can always stop the meditation,
Focus on something different.
You don't need to force yourself to do this.
If you can allow yourself to feel it,
It could help you to heal it and let go of it.
Feeling is healing.
And as you connect with this thought,
I'm not good enough,
Are there any images that come to mind,
Any thoughts,
Memories,
Any aspects of yourself that you focus on in relation to not being good enough.
Is there a felt sense of sadness or worry or frustration,
Despair?
Can you name that to yourself?
And if there is any sense of something unpleasant arising in the mind or the body in relation to this thought,
I'm not good enough,
How does it feel to acknowledge that this is suffering?
This is suffering.
This is difficult.
This is painful.
And now connecting with a sense of common humanity.
Everybody suffers.
Everybody suffers physically,
Mentally and emotionally.
Everybody experiences thinking and feeling that they're not good enough and struggles with it.
You're not alone in this.
This is part of being human.
And now placing the hands somewhere on the body that feels soothing.
It could be around the belly,
The chest.
See what it feels like to give yourself a hug.
You could place your hands on your face.
Notice where it feels best to you.
And imagine that your hands are sending kindness directly into your body,
Particularly if there are any areas that feel tense or tender.
And now see what it feels like to say to yourself,
May I accept myself.
May I accept myself as I am.
And if that feels too difficult,
Noticing how it feels to say,
May I begin to learn to accept myself with all my mistakes,
Insecurities,
Failings,
Shortcomings,
Difficult emotions and thoughts.
May I begin to learn to accept myself.
May I be kind to myself.
How does it feel to connect with that?
May I be kind to myself.
And if that feels too difficult,
May I begin to learn to be kind to myself.
Notice how this feels in the body.
It's also okay if it feels uncomfortable,
If there's resistance to wishing for yourself to be kind to yourself.
It can take practice.
And acknowledging the resistance is also a helpful step.
Finally,
May I live with ease.
May I live with ease.
Noticing how you feel in the mind and body.
Bringing the attention back to the contact with the chair and the feet on the floor.
Noticing sounds and slowly opening the eyes.
Taking a moment to notice how you feel.
If you found this meditation helpful,
I recommend repeating it.
The thought I'm not good enough is a stubborn one.
It shows up in many areas of our lives often.
But it's something that in my experience is possible to chip away at.
And you can also use this meditation to focus on different thoughts or feelings that you find difficult,
That lead to you suffering and apply the same steps of acknowledging,
Connecting to common humanity and responding to the experience with kind words and gestures.
I hope you find this meditation healing and helpful.
