Feeling Overwhelmed By Change? Listen Up

If you are going through change, you are certainly feeling the blues of the old life, the resistance to embrace the uncertainty of the moment, and the fear of what the future might have in store for you. I must invite you to this episode, where I unravel some of the most important tools that you can keep with you as you grow in this journey. Remember to “Not despise your own place and hour. Every place is under the stars, every place is the center of the world.” — John Burroughs
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Transcript

Hello everyone,

Today's episode is going to be about what to do while you're waiting for your manifestation.

I know that there's so much change that we have in our lives,

Especially when we change careers,

When we're start,

When we're starting a new position or when we are starting to change our stages from single to maybe in a relationship,

Moving in to with someone or having a baby,

Things that will really influence the change of your lifestyle.

When the change is on the verge and the new reality that's soon to be your reality is still unknown,

You're kind of in the middle of a kerfuffle of finding out what to do with your life.

I have been and I know about the stage of change.

I know it pretty well,

To say the least.

And I know that it's an uncomfortable state to be in.

It's uncomfortable because A.

You're breaking parts of yourself,

Of your past self and you are building new material,

New constructs that will build your new self right now.

That's going to live in the new reality that's soon to come.

And for most of us,

We don't know how that reality is going to be.

So we don't know whether to build,

Whether to not build,

Whether to stop,

Whether to freeze,

We just don't know.

So if we're not aware of it,

We start shifting from the serenity,

The equanimity,

The safety of the natural environment that we used to reside,

Hopefully,

Into the uncertainty and the chaotic experience of uncertainty that's going to actually put us in a nervous state that's not what we would want to be in for the long term,

At least.

A little bit of stress is a good indicator that we're doing things outside of our comfort zones.

We're challenging ourselves and we're learning new things.

But when stress gets overwhelming and gets into our body and in our sleep patterns and gets really terrifying to live with every day with that amount of pounding anxiety and heart palpitations,

If that is what you're experiencing,

At least it was for me.

I remember days where I couldn't sleep well,

I had anxiety pretty much every day and scary days,

Right?

But how do we show up to not go there,

There,

There?

Because there's always a deeper point to hopelessness.

And I know that hopelessness can get to construct,

Can get to form when we don't have a picture of what the future is.

So let me give you an example of what this looks like.

Let's say,

For instance,

You are not sure what your new job is going to be,

But you have quit your job because you realized you're burnt out,

You're not happy.

You quit your job before everything because you can't physiologically deal with it.

And now you're in the uncertainty of not knowing what's your next job going to be like and whether you're going to find it or not.

When are you going to find that?

Or let's say you're starting a new business.

You don't know what's coming for you,

Right?

These are all stressful scenarios.

And the problem with these scenarios is that in their essence,

There's a lot of unsafety going on.

There's a lot of unsafety and we have to cut ourselves some slack.

We have to forgive ourselves if we happen to fall into one of our reactive patterns or if we happen to fall in our old patterns,

In our old coping mechanisms.

We have to forgive ourselves because this is a high uncertainty stake and it's pretty,

Pretty helpful and life-saving if we just grab onto that so much compassion for ourselves.

So much and I mean so much.

The biggest compassion you could ever,

Ever treat yourself with,

That you need that right now.

If you're in the situation of uncertainty,

If you're facing stressful moments every day,

You need this.

Don't beat yourself up.

I know it's gonna happen that you fall into a trap of your own worries.

Maybe you pick up something that you hadn't picked up in years.

Maybe you make a mistake.

Maybe you just yell at someone or say something bad behind someone's back and you're like,

Yo,

I don't vibrate like that anymore.

What happened to me?

Why did that come out of me?

Now,

That is when you need to really step outside of that and really start stepping outside of that nagging ego voice and noise and just watch it as it attempts to save you actually but it's gonna lead to more danger,

To more damage actually.

Every coping mechanism comes as a great protector,

A great friend,

A great manager of stress but we need to make sure to tell that,

That we have got this covered.

That once we were not able to construct greater coping mechanisms and that's how they merged and formed themselves.

Maybe we watched loved ones use the same coping mechanisms around us and we just learned that that's what you should do when you go into danger mode.

Uh-uh.

Now,

We're changed.

Now,

We are looking at the future.

We are constructing an image of ourselves and that image doesn't have the person in them shaken by stress.

It has a person in them that is courageous when it comes to stress,

That is excited to take on a stressful opportunity.

Excited.

Can you imagine?

Replacing fear with excitement.

I am not afraid.

I am so excited.

There is this great comedian who before she steps on stage,

She tells herself,

I am shaking.

My heart is pounding.

I am having symptoms similar to anxiety but I don't say I'm anxious.

I don't say I'm afraid.

I don't say I'm scared.

What I say is I'm excited to deliver this.

I am so excited.

Imagine if we just go into our new realities with the same concept,

With the same construct.

Your body can actually shift its physiology and really be excited.

Literally feel excited.

When you embody that vibration of excitement,

Look at yourself how you are rising from fear and then jumping up the ladder to excitement.

Excitement is what happens when you're about to embark on a journey of joy and love and happiness and support and taken care of in abundance.

That's what excitement is.

You're excited to see your family and friends.

You're excited to go to a new place and explore.

You're excited to play a new game.

You're excited to be with your spouse.

You're excited to play with your dog.

You're excited to go to that park.

You're excited to wear that dress.

You're excited to begin this journey.

I want you to just feel that with all of your being and stop getting in your head that ego that ego voice that's telling you that I'm afraid,

I'm scared,

I shouldn't have done this,

I'm so dumb,

Why did I do this?

This is so dangerous.

I'm going back to my old self and I'm going and I'm ruining everything.

I'm a failure.

I want you to tell that ego that I am here.

I am present.

We don't have to go back to self-blame.

We don't have to go back to these old mechanisms.

We are here now.

It's okay to feel this.

This is excitement and this is not denial.

I'm not pushing,

I'm not inviting you to deny your feelings.

Sometimes it's a good thing to say,

Yeah,

This scares me.

This scares me a lot and I can feel it that it scares me but I'm excited and I let that excitement grow in my heart.

Acknowledging is different than attaching to.

When I'm acknowledging a feeling,

I'm acknowledging it and just letting it go.

I'm dropping it after some time but then when I am attached to the feeling,

Especially dangerously attaching a new experience with unsafety,

Then I won't ever dare to make a danger step again because I'm like,

No,

I never want to be in that situation again.

It happened once,

I was all over the place,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

All I want is safety.

Honey,

If you are here for a reason,

You are not here to be safe.

You are here to get out of your comfort zone,

To live your best life.

Safety was never about the best life,

Safety was about comfort.

So you get to choose what you want to stand with.

But acknowledging your reality,

Acknowledging the feeling is so different than feeling it and living in it over and over and over and over.

It's actually,

It gets exhausting and I'm telling you from experience and I carry so much compassion with myself today right now because I have been there before as I do hope you carry for yourself.

Now,

If you're waiting for that new reality to unravel in front of you,

Don't just sit around and wait.

One of the things that I've learned is that creating a safe environment within yourself,

Feeling safe in that change is so important.

Try to meditate more,

Try to do more self-love activities,

Try to breathe more,

Try to do yoga more.

Maybe it's chanting,

Maybe it's playing with Tibetan bowls,

Maybe it's listening to great music,

Maybe it's playing with your kids.

Do things that soothe your nervous system at this time of your life because you need it.

You physiologically need it.

You need that playtime,

You need that activity to get you back to safety,

To feel your body safe even in front of all the change and the chaos.

Why do you want to do this?

Because when the new reality is forming,

When your new self is stepping in,

It will only step in when you're safe.

It will only unravel itself when you're safe to live that reality.

So what you do right now as you wait for the reality to unravel itself,

As you wait for the future to happen,

Is so important.

If you're feeling unsafe in this moment,

I want you to breathe in your body and maybe say some affirmations.

Affirmations like,

I know I feel scared,

A part of me feels scared of this,

And why not?

This is a big move I'm taking.

This is the biggest thing I've ever done for myself and way to go for me for doing this.

I'm so strong.

I am so excited.

And connect to that feeling of excitement.

And every day as you repeat this,

Even though if you feel anxious,

Even though if you feel whatever the other feelings that you have during that day,

You keep coming back to the physical body and keep breathing in your body and keep creating that safety and that space in your body to embrace this new reality with ease.

I certainly love saying affirmations like,

I deserve joy.

It feels good to feel good.

It feels good to feel good.

It feels good to feel joy.

It feels good to feel loved and supported.

I am abundant.

I am taken care of.

I am okay.

I am safe.

This is exactly where I am supposed to be.

And that's my friends how I got through through the change times and how I will get through more changing times in the future.

I am hoping that this helped you in any way to bring at least compassion to yourself,

To your reality,

To your objectives,

And to keep standing for yourself.

You're doing great.

And I am so proud of you.

You are not alone.

We're in this together.

Reviews

I found this talk so enlightening that I listened to it three times consecutively. I like that it highlights the anxieties and stress we feel in unfamiliar situations yet if we are to grow, we will be stressed. I have recently started a new role that is completely different to my previous one. It’s very demanding and there is an enormous amount of stress involved in the decision making process and the execution of decisions made. When we know we are being judged by our decisions, we place even more stress upon ourselves. This talk has helped with putting things into perspective and gives strategies to manage that process. Thank you for sharing your ideas and guidance. All very helpful and empowering. ❤️