Self-Trust Part 2-How To Change The Five Mindsets Of Burnout

This is the second part of the audio class "Self-Trust: How to Build Self-Trust and Heal Burnout." In this talk, you will learn the five mindsets that lead women to be overwhelmed, worn out, and burned out. Also, you will learn four practical suggestions to help you change them. When you change your mindset, you change your emotions. When you change your emotions, you change your actions. With intended actions, you build the life you planned to live.

Author, teacher, and coach Ana Barreto shares a 17-minute inspirational talk to help you change the five mindsets that lead women to overwork, overdo, overhelp, and second-guess themselves.

Transcript

Hello everyone.

Welcome to another audio class from my Embrace Your Success series,

Where I share with you knowledge and insights that will inspire you to take action to improve the overall quality of your life.

This is the second part of how to build self-trust and avoid burnout.

By the end of this talk,

You will have four practical suggestions to help you change the five mindsets that lead to being overwhelmed,

Worn out,

And burned out.

You will feel better and gain the courage to live the life you plan to live.

So grab a pen and your notebook to make your own notes.

You will retain more information this way.

Also,

Feel free to listen to it over and over.

The key to learning is repetition.

Remember to silence your cell phones and close your email browser for about 20 minutes or so.

This is your time.

Give yourself this time today to learn how to change the mindset that may be sabotaging your life.

Who should be listening to this?

Many people will benefit.

However,

The ones who will benefit the most are those who are too busy to live a great life.

People call them workaholics.

They might have gotten sick or mentally worn out.

Perhaps they were too debilitated to go to work or get out of bed for a day or two.

Maybe they worked too hard,

Did everything right,

And choked at the finishing line.

They even hate what used to be their passion.

If you experienced a little in common with these scenarios,

You need to know that these are all symptoms of burned out.

And this is your opportunity to start improving the way you use your energy.

I hope you take it.

My name is Ana Barreto.

I'm the author of the book Women,

Rice and Beans,

Non-Wisdoms I Learned from My Mother When I Really Paid Attention,

And the upcoming book Self-Trust,

How to Build Trust,

Heal Burnout,

And Navigate Through Life on Purpose.

If you don't know my story,

Please listen to my first class,

Share Your Gifts,

8 Tips to Improve the Overall Quality of Your Life.

This is not only a class,

But a great pick-me-up when you need a little bit of inspiration.

My mission is to support women in their journey to live the life they intended.

We can live better lives when we are aware of the way we think,

Feel,

And act.

So today,

I will share with you how to change the five mindsets that lead people to be burned out.

Burnout has four levels.

Boredom,

Being overwhelmed,

Being worn out,

And full-blown burnout.

Level one,

Boredom,

Is the opposite of burnout.

It's usually experienced after a burnout has passed.

It's when people are unengaged with life.

People who tend to get burnout will experience boredom occasionally,

Especially when they feel discouraged with the outcome they have created.

Level two is feeling overwhelmed.

That's where the accumulation of what's happening in life takes people's attention,

And they lose focus making silly mistakes in the process.

Level three is being worn out.

That's when people are emotionally,

Mentally,

And physically exhausted,

And they push through the threshold a bit too far to meet the deadline,

Keep a word,

Or not disappoint anyone.

Level four is full burnout.

That's when people are incapacitated to carry life on.

Your passion becomes your hate,

And often one gives up what used to be a source of accomplishment and joy.

In this state,

People just can't think at all.

Burnout is your body's response to continuous stress.

It's like the body saying,

I really,

Really,

Really,

Really had enough.

So why do we need to avoid getting burnout?

When we are in a state of stress,

We are not able to think clearly and therefore make good decisions.

The biology of the body stops operating as it needs to so we can focus on the danger.

Stress is a warning signal.

It was meant to be temporary.

The biggest problem these days is that people have learned to work under a tremendous amount of stress for long periods of time.

The life mechanism that was meant to keep us safe and encourage us to stop or slow down is being misused and is killing us slowly.

In part one,

We learned that burnout is caused by lack of self-trust and is also a form of self-sabotage.

We also discovered that people don't know that they are setting themselves up for failure.

If you didn't listen to part one,

Please stop and do it now.

It will help you understand these insights.

People who work in the constant state of stress cannot access their creativity,

Knowledge,

And wisdom.

They tend to work harder,

Push through until the body collapses.

We also learned that these behaviors have seeds in childhood when a child's mind believe they were not enough.

As an adult,

The lack is compensated by proving,

Protecting,

And defending so they don't have to feel those uncomfortable feelings of being less than.

If you recognize some of this information in your life,

You are a contender for being overwhelmed,

Worn out,

And burned out.

I was one too.

When I was working on my second book about burnout,

After I felt I had overcome the habit,

I got burned out and had to go back to the drawing board and rewrite the book.

Actually,

I am very grateful it happened because I had a chance to learn one more thing I had to teach,

And this is what I learned.

Behind burnout,

There is a lack of self-trust.

Behind self-trust,

There is a wound I'm not enough.

This wound has five core beliefs.

Number one,

It's a man's world.

Number two,

I don't have time for it.

Number three,

It's someone else's fault.

Number four,

I have no help.

Number five,

People depend on me.

These are some of the excuses people use to justify the energy depletion that stops them from sharing their gift,

Achieving their dreams,

And live joyful lives.

These are some of the mindsets hiding behind the long days in the office,

The episodes of eating in the car or office,

The lack of sleep,

And every action we take to validate the behavior that don't honor who we truly are.

Remember,

Some of these beliefs may not apply to you,

Or they are hidden in your subconscious.

We'll review them quickly before I share my four suggestions on how to change the mindset that is sabotaging your accomplishments.

Mindset number one,

It's a man's world.

Most women and men believe that this is a man's world.

Not only are women encouraged to try harder,

But men too.

The way society views the disciplines of men and women roles encourages people not to necessarily want to try harder or push through,

To act outside their natural way of being.

They will tend to choose competition instead of collaboration,

Individualism instead of teamwork,

Or withdrawal versus participation.

These are stressful conditions that will lead to burnout if not addressed.

Mindset number two,

I don't have time for.

As I said before,

You have as much time as you think you do.

Are people really busy?

Are women running from one task to the other and having long days with full agendas?

Are women rushing home after day's work and starting a second shift in cooking,

Laundry,

Cleaning,

Childbearing?

If your answer is yes,

Then it's by choice.

You have as much time as you think you do.

I don't have times and excuse people use to not deal with the reality they need to address.

People choose to be out of time because they don't know how to deal with what they don't know how to solve.

If they make the time,

It will be resolved.

Mindset number three,

It's someone else's fault.

Another core belief derailing people's path to success is the lack of ownership of their life.

The belief that depletion,

Exhaustion,

The sense of overwhelmed and fatigued are caused by something outside of them or by someone else is a powerless position a person can take.

The job,

Children,

Family,

Boss,

Illness,

Stress,

And housework are all results of personal choices.

I used to blame my ex-husband,

My job,

My children needs for being exhausted all the time.

Now I know that I created everything.

That is not something to blame or feel guilt,

But an opportunity to accept with kindness.

I invite you to consider that we cannot control what other people do.

And that's your place of power.

I ask you not to take ownership,

But authorship.

You can't change what you didn't know you created.

Mindset number four,

I have no help.

Another belief people have that slows down their ability to show up in their life is a belief that they don't need help and that if they ask,

People won't come through for them.

For some women,

They don't know how to ask for help.

For others,

They just don't know how to accept help.

Men also fall victim to disbelief.

Society expects them to be strong and self-sufficient.

Remember,

You are not alone.

There is always help if you are willing to ask and receive.

Mindset number five,

People depend on me.

Women cannot save or rescue anyone.

Let me say again,

Women cannot save or rescue anyone.

This is especially hard to hear if you are a mother.

One cannot deny that there is a special connection between mother and child and a child may rely on a parent for some years.

However,

The parent-child relationship is not a dependent relationship.

It's a bond.

If you let the child out of the house at 14 years old,

She or he will survive.

They may experience hardships,

But they can reach similar successes as a child who stayed home until 18 or 21 years old.

When we look back in history,

People survive because they collaborated and not because they lived with dependency.

Let me share with you Lena's story.

I changed her name to keep her privacy.

Lena is a married woman with two children who used to be a dentist.

She grew her practice slowly while raising her children.

Then her husband lost his job and she decided to increase her practice to make ends meet.

She sought patients and ran the business.

As months went by,

Her husband couldn't find a job and she increased her workload to make up the financial shortfall.

One day when she was seeing a patient,

She felt she was having a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

It turned out to be a panic attack.

She never had one before.

From that time on,

Lena began to have panic attacks more often.

It was very debilitating for her and she had to reduce her practice.

Occasionally,

She still pushed through because her family depended on her financially.

So she thought,

Her husband still didn't find a job.

She kept pushing through day in and day out until one day she had to be admitted to the hospital.

She was burned out and had to be in a recovery facility for a few weeks.

Today,

Lena no longer practices dentistry.

She can't stand the idea of being a dentist again and that used to be her passion.

I shared the story with you so you can understand how the mind sabotages your passion when you get burned out.

Now the question is,

How do we change these beliefs?

So here's my first suggestion.

Don't believe every thought you think.

Please write this down.

Don't believe every thought you think.

Most of your beliefs about everything were built during your childhood.

Some of them don't make any sense for the person you are today.

Listen to the five mindsets again and if you find any trace of those beliefs in yourself,

Erase it.

My second suggestion is study your thoughts.

By now,

You may be thinking that you don't carry the primary wound of not being enough or that you don't blame others for the conditions of your life.

But if you experience burnout or worn out in the past,

There is a good chance that you have the primary wound and you have some core beliefs that need to be resolved.

The thoughts happen very fast and you may not catch every thought you think.

Start by reading your notes about trust,

Primary wound,

And five core beliefs I shared with you today.

Are these thoughts true to you?

Then take the time to ponder.

My third suggestion is validate what you really do.

When do you get overwhelmed?

When was the last time you were worn out?

How often do you get burnout?

Are you too tired to enjoy your children?

Are you working every weekend even during family events?

If your work would end today,

How would you feel?

Do you forget to eat?

Are you having trouble sleeping?

Your place of power starts in awareness.

Be honest with yourself and then be kind.

If change is needed,

You don't need to scold yourself.

Go back and listen to part one of this talk and start trusting yourself.

My fourth suggestion is embrace your state of depletion.

Yes,

You heard me right.

I want you to be grateful for being overwhelmed,

Worn out,

And even burnout.

I want you to be thankful for not having the energy to get out of bed and go to work.

I want you to honor where you are and count your blessings.

This depletion is your safety mechanism.

It's saving your life.

Your spirit is calling you to change because change has chosen you.

This is the moment where you know there is a new beginning.

This is when you make a decision to learn to trust yourself.

You know you had let yourself down in the past,

But now you are aware of what you do.

You can start writing reminders and leaving them around the house to trust yourself.

You can make a date with yourself every week to bring more joy into your life.

You can send yourself flowers to celebrate this newfound trust.

You can make yourself a priority.

My darling,

We need your gift.

We need you whole.

The world needs you dazzling through life,

Spreading your talent,

Your joy,

And who you are becoming.

We need your creativity and your contribution to greatness.

Most of all,

We need you to trust yourself.

We need to find the essence of who you are and peel the layers that hide your beautiful self.

We need you to be truly you.

You will see that when your level of self-trust increases,

Your life will improve,

Your friendships will deepen,

And your contribution to the world will be meaningful beyond your imagination.

You will not sabotage your accomplishments or your passion.

This will be something in the past.

Remember,

When you do well,

Everyone around you does well.

Your inspired life will inspire others.

Just embrace your success.

If you feel this has given you value,

Please share on your favorite social media.

This is Ana Barreto signing off.

Reviews

Wow, this really hits the nail on it's head! Thank you. This was very valuable information!! 🙏🏻

Yes, tuning into the limiting beliefs behind burnout. Both parts of this talk are very insightful 🙏

Thank you! That was so helpful. I’m feeling burned out again. I will take care of myself.

thank you, words can't express my gratitude, so thankful to have found you here! 🙏🧡

Excellent talk and I would like to hear it over again, as others have noted the background music loops and it is almost as loud as the voice which makes it hard to focus.

Love it! I need to keep that in mind - dont get burnt out bc it affects your health.thank you

Thank you for the positive talk on self-care!! 🙏💚💜💛🌸

This is an amazingly inspiring talk. I feel this would be extremely beneficial to every person who struggles with self worth.
Thank you so much for sharing.

Thank you! 🙏 Exactly what I needed to hear.

Great advice - needed it right now! Thank you!

Thank you for the lovely reminders :) I needed the reminder that self care is not selfish !

Wow! Amazing! Had never thought of it! Thank you :)

You are right, thank you for this enlightening and empowering talk!

Part 1 and now Part 2 of this series continues to encourage awareness, self understanding, and steps to help me live a fuller, happier, healthier, and more rewarding life. 🙏💖

Really great message. Agree with others about the background noise, too loud and distracting. The motivational music is so hokey & promotional that, for me, it takes away from the message.

Clarity and tools to challenge, while finding your way to honestly seeing yourself and making necessary, life-saving changes..

Thank you. I addressed thoughts and feelings I had been ignoring. I feel like I'm not alone and can accomplish anything. I will be listening again.

Such a good lesson,
Thank you!

Thank you, Ana. I really enjoy you. Thank you🙏🏻