The Human Moment

In this short talk, Dr. Bradley discusses the dehumanization of the workplace and how it affects our day-to-day interactions. She also speaks about the power of moments of disclosure and how these take place around us.

Transcript

Good afternoon everyone.

A few months ago I boarded a busy commuter train to travel home at the end of the workday.

The carriages were packed with all the seats and floor space taken.

So when the conductor came over the tannoy to apologize for the overcrowding,

His words were met with rolling eyes and looks of indignation.

Reactions we've come to expect perhaps from long-suffering commuters.

But as a not so regular commuter,

It was the reactions of my fellow passengers toward another human being that shocked and saddened me that evening.

A passenger along with her baby and two young children boarded the train just before departure and was confined to standing in a small space just by the doors.

Her children appeared fractious and she seemed stressed and extremely tired.

Not one person in the carriage acknowledged this woman's struggles.

People either looked away or avoided eye contact.

So when I offered for her children to take my seat,

She thankfully accepted.

Yet my offer was met with tuts or sighs from those sitting around me.

And when the children sat down,

They received looks of disdain as though their energy and chatter were an inconvenience.

I was so exercised by the reactions of my fellow passengers that I announced my shock at the lack of humanity to the rest of the carriage.

These people must have been parents,

Grandparents themselves and therefore known the stress that comes with travelling with young children.

We're all cut from the same cloth.

We all struggle.

We all suffer and fail and feel inadequate at times.

But what's happened in society that leads people to look away when others suffer rather than being attentive to their experience and sensing what might help?

Organisations do things to people which means by the time they leave work at the end of the day,

They're incapable of showing kindness to another human being.

Many of us have turned our emotional thermometers down so low to cope with the brutality of work life that many of us have forgotten how to feel.

As one HR director said to me recently,

If my team know I'm having a bad day,

Then I've failed.

And our workplaces are becoming increasingly transactional and increasingly dehumanised.

We're so preoccupied with success that many of us fail to take care of ourselves,

Let alone others.

And organisations are so focused on rewarding the outcome of task,

Productivity,

Performance,

That many have started to put profit before people.

We're so busy doing that many of us have little time to care for ourselves,

Let alone our colleague down the corridor.

And we've normalised over work with being first in and last out of the office carrying a badge of honour in certain industries.

And some companies even boast the provision of on-site dentists,

Physiotherapists,

Laundry services,

Late-night food deliveries and even sleeping pods.

So employees need not go home.

US professionals suffer more stress-related absence than their UK counterparts.

Yet instead of owning up to our struggles,

Many of us wear a mask of positivity at work because that's what we believe organisations want to hear.

So when we ask someone how they are,

We're programmed to expect an I'm fine response.

With a rise in remote working and an increased reliance on technology as a means of communication,

This means the human moment at work is becoming lost.

We may have thousands of friends on Facebook or hundreds of followers on Instagram,

Yet the number of people we can confide in about the things that are important to us are few and far between.

And with more people now living alone,

Loneliness is fast becoming one of the most pressing issues of our generation.

With 22% of British people and 23% of Americans describing themselves as feeling lonely.

In an attempt to seek out human connection,

Many people are spending more time at work than they've ever done.

Never have we needed our colleagues so much,

Yet never have we felt so isolated.

No wonder global employee engagement levels are so low,

With only 13% of us across 142 countries describing ourselves as engaged in our work,

With actively disengaged workers outnumbering engaged workers at a ratio of two to one.

Yet when we're engaged in our work,

We're more likely,

At least three times more likely to be thriving in our lives overall.

Despite widespread recognition amongst employers of these poor engagement levels,

Many still promote long hours cultures and competition between individuals to get ahead.

This drives sharp elbowed individualistic behaviours that mean for many care and compassion have no place at work.

So how do we change this sad reality?

Well,

Make time for a human moment.

And what do I mean by a human moment?

A human moment is simply taking the time each day to connect with someone at a basic human level.

Let me give you an example.

Who here has heard of the Park Run movement?

Park Run are a series of free five kilometre run events that take place in 1400 locations across 23 countries every Saturday morning.

These events are free to enter and open to all and each week you'll see people run,

Jog or walk five kilometres with wheelchair users,

Pensioners,

Parents and children taking part side by side.

It was at one of these events when I went to watch my husband and daughter take part that I experienced my most recent human moment.

I was walking our dog around the course and I came across an elderly man in his 80s who was dressed to run but struggling to walk.

He was moving so slowly that we caught him up and we were able to walk with him for a while.

He told me of his passion for marathon running,

How he'd completed over 100 marathons during the course of his life,

Yet now he struggled just to put one foot in front of the other.

He talked about how hard it was to walk these days,

How he was struggling with aging and how bereft he feels now running is no longer part of his life.

So what he does to make himself feel better,

Every Saturday morning he gets up,

Dresses to run and walks part of the parkrun course just so he can be around other runners and feel like a marathon runner once again.

I was so moved by his story and felt such a deep sense of appreciation for his disclosure that this for me was a human moment.

Human moments are a workplace imperative to prevent organizations from becoming so pressured and so brutal that by the time people leave work at the end of the day to board the train to go home they're incapable of showing kindness to another human being.

We must make time for a human moment to make time to connect and care for our colleagues,

To build the quality of our relationships at work.

With a rise in remote working and an increased reliance on technology as a means of communication,

Human moments are needed more than ever.

By making time for a human moment we enable people to open up about their struggles and we give ourselves permission to disclose our own.

By making time for a human moment the next time you ask somebody at the photocopier how they are,

If asked with kindness and without judgment you might just get something other than the I'm fine response.

After all human moments are a moment for us to acknowledge we're all cut from the same cloth.

We all suffer,

We all fail,

We all feel inadequate at times.

We must make time for a human moment since human moments are food for the soul.

Thank you.

Reviews

Thank you

This was so well said and a great reminder. Thank you!

Thank You for this Heart felt reminder. Be Well 💚🙏🥀

Thank you 🙏

Thank you for this. It struck home. I just resigned from my position as a therapist at a university after 10 years due to the complete and utter lack of caring, support or effective leadership. This in an industry which is supposed to support the mental health of others - not destroy it. We need more than ever to be supporting one another in this world.

Thank you!♥️

I liked this reminder. Thank you.

Amazing share of a relevant example. Thanks !

Spiritual TED talk! Thanks for creating and sharing. 🙏🏻💛🙏🏻

Indeed human moments are food for the soul..thanks!

I hope the whole world hears this