Know And Accept That You’re Enough With Marisa Peer

Our guest for this week is Marisa Peer, a best-selling author, motivational speaker, a leading celebrity therapist, and a pioneering hypnotherapist trainer. Marisa began her journey studying to become a child psychologist but has later built on her career by earning further qualifications at the institute from the Hypnosis Training Institute of Los Angeles and the Pritikin Longevity Centre.

Transcript

Welcome to this week's episode of the inspired evolution.

This week's episode features Marissa Peer.

She spent 25 years working with an extensive client list including royalty,

Rock stars,

Hollywood actors,

Olympic athletes,

CEOs,

Political leaders.

As a hands on therapist to her clients,

Marissa lectures,

Writes,

Columns and appears on television and radio all over the world.

She's got four best selling books and basically she's the founder of RTT which is Rapid Transformational Therapy.

It's hypnotherapy,

Super fast,

Super deep,

Super potent.

In this conversation we talk a lot about the things that hold majority of people back in living the life of their dreams.

This week's podcast is sponsored by Lifecycle.

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Welcome to the Inspired Evolution and it is such a treat to be here today because we have the vibes and the blessings from Marissa Pierre.

Marissa how are you?

I'm fabulous,

Thank you.

How are you?

Amazing.

I'm so so thrilled to have you here today.

For those tuning into Marissa for the first time,

Marissa is the master of instant breakthrough.

She's revered by the world's who who.

She was once told that she'd never become anything more than just a nanny though.

She was told this because she didn't have what it took to be successful apparently.

She wasn't smart enough,

She wasn't confident enough,

She wasn't talented enough.

Marissa defied her critics and rather becoming a nanny she went on to become the UK's number one coach.

She was named Britain's best therapist by Tatler magazine all through the power of transformational RTT which is Marissa's own brand and model of hypnotherapy.

It's amazing.

It's a science of turning ordinary people into extraordinary individuals within just simply one to two sessions.

Today Marissa is known as a coach from extensive client lists and over the past 30 years this has included royalty,

Rock stars,

Hollywood actors,

Olympic athletes,

CEOs of multi-billion dollar companies and political leaders.

Through her work Marissa has discovered that there are five unique mental thought models that the top 1% of the super achievers in the world possess,

But only at least 99% of the population lack at least one of them.

Since 2015 Marissa has helped implant mental models of consciousness into at least 100,

000 members all over the world through her famed transformational hypnotherapy sessions and she's often voted the best speaker because of the shifts she induces in people.

It is such a treat to have you here today.

Thank you.

Thank you.

The first time I was ever exposed to your work was through the amazing story of a gentleman that you went to visit the house of and you couldn't even park your car in his house.

Can you share that story with us?

Yeah,

I was working on a show in America and a director at another show rang and said,

You know,

We have this actor who's just having a meltdown and it's cost something like $50,

000 a minute to film these shows.

So when the actors don't turn up,

That's really hard.

He said,

Look,

You seem to be the person who can deal with these people.

Can you go today to his house?

I'm like,

Yeah,

Sure.

And he went,

What kind of car have you got?

And I actually had a Mustang,

Which I loved,

A convertible red.

And he went,

Oh,

Don't put that on his drive.

In fact,

Don't even put it outside his house because he can only have Jaguars,

Porsches or Ferraris.

So I'm like,

Okay.

I thought that was interesting.

So I parked my very nice Mustang around the corner of this super amazing Hollywood house.

It was a real rockstar's dream house.

And to my surprise,

He opened the door and he said,

I don't know why you're here.

I don't know why they sent some Brit.

You know,

I've been in every rehab.

I've been to every therapist.

No one can fix me.

I went,

Oh,

I can fix you because I don't do other therapists do.

And I happened to say,

I love your house.

I went,

I hate this house.

You know,

It's too hot in the summer and the neighbors are so difficult and I'm moving.

And I seem to have moved like eight times and I just can't find my ideal house.

And then he said,

Do you know,

You have the look of my fourth wife.

I said,

Thank you.

He said,

Don't thank me.

She was such a disappointment to me.

And then we walked into his room,

The den,

And he had a BAFTA,

Which is like an English Oscar.

So you have a BAFTA,

That's a curse.

Do you know what a curse it is?

I said,

Well,

I do actually,

Because when I was put in the book of the best doctors in the UK,

My first thought is,

How will I feel if I don't get voted in that next year?

So I sort of get that.

I said,

I also get exactly what's wrong with you.

How can you know that fast?

I'm like,

Well,

If I was a doctor giving you a diagnosis,

Here's my diagnosis,

You just don't think you're good enough,

Do you?

And big tears leaked out of his eyes.

He went,

Do you think that's true?

I'm like,

Come on,

I know it's true.

And so do you.

I said,

Four wives,

Eight houses,

A BAFTA,

A Jaguar's on the drive,

And none of it's making you feel good because you don't think you're enough.

When you don't think you're enough,

Which is the curse of the modern day society,

You need more stuff,

More awards,

More prestige,

More designers.

Some people it's not that it's,

I don't feel enough and I binge on food or alcohol or drugs,

Or I'm a shopaholic because we feel so empty and worthless inside that we need stuff.

Orders,

Alcoholics,

Drug addicts.

I've worked with thousands of addicts.

I've never met one in my entire life who would say,

I'm enough.

But I've met all of them who go,

But I'm not enough.

You know,

I might have fame,

I might have money,

I might have looks,

But if you really knew me,

You'd be disappointed.

So I pointed this out to him and just said,

Look,

Tell me about your life.

Let's look at where this came from.

And he told me his story.

He said,

You know,

I was raised in a trailer park.

We had no money.

My dad worked in construction.

My mom was a carer.

And every time it snowed or rained,

My dad had no work because you're only paid in construction when you can turn up.

If it's snowing,

There's no work.

So my mom worked nights because she got more money.

And I said,

And of course,

When you're a child and your parents are always at this place called work,

A child before three has no logic,

No reasoning.

All they can think of is my mom goes to work because she prefers that to being with me.

My mom's in this place called a job and she's always there and all they can do is because she doesn't want to be with me.

Even if the mom is sick,

Mentally ill,

Or has been in a car crash and is in hospital,

The child will still think you're there because you don't want to be with me.

And then he said,

You know,

I used to cook my father's dinner every night and it was a real construction worker's dinner,

Meat,

Potatoes,

Vegetables.

We had so little money,

I had bread and milk.

And I said,

Did your dad share that with you?

Are you kidding?

My dad gave the leftovers of the dog right in front of me.

And I said,

Well,

There it is.

It doesn't take long for a child to look at their world.

And a child looks at the world through a child's eyes and always thinks,

This is my fault.

My dad drinks because I'm not good enough.

My parents fight because I don't make them happy.

My dad's left because he doesn't love me.

And I didn't just see that in him.

I've seen that in Amy Winehouse,

Whitney Houston,

Philip Seymour Hoffman,

George Michael and Michael Jackson too.

So many people with everything except the thing they really need,

Which is a belief they're enough.

And I routinely have limos turn up at my door and sometimes bodyguards will stand by the gate and some maids should have them.

My neighbors would go,

Well,

I don't understand.

These people have got everything.

Why are they coming to you?

It's going to be my next question.

And I don't say,

But they don't have everything because they don't have the one thing they need,

Which is a belief that I'm enough.

I mean,

Princess Diana was the most obvious example of that.

She said everything except this knowing she was enough.

Going back to my client,

I said,

Well,

I've given you the diagnosis.

Here's your prescription.

Should you like to take it,

I want you to say I'm enough every day.

But really say it with meaning.

And I do invite your listeners to do the same.

Write it on your mirrors in lipstick.

Having had four ex-wives,

He had a lot of lipstick in his pocket.

So we wrote it on all the mirrors.

I put it on his phone alert.

So every day it would ping,

I am enough.

I wrote it on his fridge.

I told him to change all his passwords.

So they contained squiggle dot something,

I'm enough.

Because when you type it every day,

Read it every day,

And start to speak it every day,

It revolutionizes your life.

And its strength is really in its simplicity.

If you say I'm a goddess,

Your mind goes,

Really?

But you're living in a shared apartment.

I'm a rock star.

Really?

I can't even own a car.

That doesn't seem like a rock star to me.

When you say I'm enough,

Your mind never goes,

No,

You're not.

It goes,

Of course,

You always have been and you always will be.

And if you repeat it,

Your mind starts to do this.

It starts to go,

Oh,

Here we go again with that enoughness.

You say it so much,

It must be true.

And then just like lotion on dry skin,

It goes in and it nourishes you.

And so I met him a few weeks later and he went,

Oh my God,

That's like changed my entire life.

I've sold the Porsche,

I've got a Mini,

I'm dating a hairdresser.

I've never had a girlfriend or wife that wasn't an actress or a model.

He's like,

I'm just living a normal life and I've never,

Ever been so happy.

And that was a wonderful thing.

Aw,

So amazing.

And how three little words changed his entire life.

Because what I do is like being a detective and a dentist.

The detective starts looking for information,

Look at all this,

The house,

The car,

What does this mean?

And then goes back into the past to say,

Well,

You see,

That's where it came from.

No baby says,

Don't look at me.

And you can go look at a baby,

Its nose is running,

Its diaper's leaking.

They still think they're the most gorgeous thing in the world.

So none of us are born like that.

So the detective part of my therapy called Rapid Transformational Therapy,

Or RTT,

Is detective-like skills to find out,

Oh,

This is what's wrong with you and this is why.

And then like a dentist,

You start to extract all the poisonous beliefs,

All the toxic assumptions and put people back together again.

And it's incredibly easy and incredibly fast and super effective.

Yeah,

I think that's the amazing part of your work,

Where the transformation happens so rapidly.

Because a lot of these things have been installed over such a long period of time that we've been suffering for so long that it's kind of amazing when the shift happens so rapidly.

Yeah.

And that's the biggest problem is that,

Well,

There's two problems.

One is that conventional therapy says,

This client is bulimic and that's very complex.

So the treatment's complex.

Well,

This client has bipolar depression and that's such a complex illness that it requires complex treatment.

And that's simply not true.

I can fix people with bulimia in two sessions.

I've cured alcoholics and people with chronic suicidal depression in one to two sessions.

Because the presenting problem is not the problem.

Clients come in with like,

Here's my problem,

I'm an alcoholic or I've got borderline personality disorder or I'm a hoarder or I'm depressed.

And there's always what I call what lies beneath.

You must never treat the presenting problem.

You must look at,

Okay,

Well,

When did this happen?

What was going on?

And so clients will say things like,

You know,

I'm an alcoholic.

Or when did that happen?

Well,

My dad left and then my girlfriend left and then I got fired and my dad always drank and I've got the alcoholic gene.

I'll give you a good example.

One of my clients came in and said,

In fact,

His chauffeur called me and said,

My boss is killing himself.

Can I pay for a session with him?

Which was a lovely thing to do.

So in came this client who said,

Well,

I'm an alcoholic.

I've never been married.

Who would put up with me?

I mean,

I come home roaring drunk and I throw up in the hall and all the things,

You know,

And I'm a liar and I'm.

.

.

Because I'm an alcoholic.

And as I listened to his presenting problem,

I said,

You know,

That's not your problem.

Your problem is you just don't think you're lovable.

And because you don't think you're lovable and you've never got married,

It's easier to go,

Well,

Who is going to marry an alcoholic than to say what I call the unspeakable truth,

I'm so unlovable.

Nobody wants me.

And alcoholism hides it and gives you an excuse.

It justifies why you're alone.

And then we talked about his parents who didn't like him,

Told him they should never have had him,

Never celebrated his birthday,

Treated him like he was a nuisance.

And he picked up very quickly,

Nobody likes me.

I shouldn't even be here.

My own parents don't like me.

If they don't like me,

Who's ever going to like me?

And so he drank to hide the pain.

Within a year he was married.

I went to his wedding,

Never drank again.

It was a wonderful thing to see.

Because you can put someone like that in AA,

You can detox them,

But you're detoxing the problem and not what lies beneath,

This belief that I'm just not lovable.

And that's what you have to treat.

Does it always come back to the three primordial fears then,

The fact that A,

We're either not enough,

B,

We're not lovable enough,

And C,

That we're not,

That there isn't enough?

Does it always come back to those?

Well,

I've been a therapist for 30,

Over 30 years,

And I've trained,

I think,

A lot of therapists.

I've had my own training for over two and a half years.

And I always teach all my graduates the same thing.

There's three things wrong with everyone,

Only three.

The first is,

I'm not enough.

And that encompasses I'm not lovable enough,

I'm not wealthy enough,

I'm not successful enough.

And millionaires also say,

I need more money,

Or I need more fame.

And it's like there are certain people who they just can't stop working,

Achieving,

Or having multiple cosmetic surgeries because they don't feel enough.

And that's the biggest issue.

The second problem people have is,

I'm different.

Because I'm different,

I can't connect.

And of course,

We're tribal people.

We lived in ward cities and we connected by being the same.

We're all white with red hair,

Or we're all Indian,

And we all look the same.

And we bonded by being the same.

And we know that in the animal kingdom,

They don't like the albino or the runt of the litter.

But now we live in multicultural societies where we can't go,

Well,

I'm like you and you're like me,

Because we start to mark ourselves as different.

I'm too tall,

I'm too short,

I'm too rich,

I'm too poor.

No one likes me.

I'm the rich kid,

The poor kid,

I've got glasses.

And so children,

When you meet little kids,

It's called,

They go,

I like postman power.

I like postman power.

I like pasta.

I like SpongeBob SquarePants.

And what they're saying is,

Are you like me?

Am I like you?

And they come and go,

We're the same.

But that doesn't last very long.

And schools do a pretty bad job of helping kids realize that you're the same,

But you're also unique.

And so people buy into this,

I'm different.

Because I'm different,

I can't connect.

And when we're born on the planet,

We have two needs.

Find connection,

Avoid rejection,

That's it.

When you find connection,

Your mother feeds you,

You avoid rejection.

Our survival is linked to two things.

I must find connection and avoid rejection.

That's why all societies do banishment or solace.

You can find little casting out,

Because rejection is terrifying.

Once in a time,

We wouldn't live if we were rejected.

That was very clear.

If I'm banished,

I'll die.

And so we still have this terror that if you reject me,

I'll die.

And then we hear all these songs,

I can't live without you,

I'll die if you leave me.

Which is true,

But it feels true.

So the second group have this fear,

I'm different,

So I can't connect.

And they never verbalize,

But inside is this,

And if I can't connect,

That could kill me.

And when you fear being rejected,

You actually set yourself up for it.

You don't have people in your life because they might reject you.

Or you behave so badly that they reject you early,

Or you're very shy.

And so it's a big problem that people come in with this label,

I can't connect.

And it makes them act out,

Or they're very sad,

Or they're very depressed.

And again,

They're not depressed because they have this weird chemical imbalance in the brain,

Which by the way,

Doesn't even exist.

All the studies on that aren't flawed,

They're non-existent.

That was made up by a drug company,

The Chemical Imbalance,

To sell more drugs.

So someone who says,

I'm depressed,

It's because they lack connection,

Which is so important.

You must have connection.

We're tribal people.

We've changed 1%.

I know in America that the statistics of prisons are in solitary and more damaged than all of the rest of them put together.

And parents don't know,

Go to your room,

Go to bed early,

Sit on the naughty step.

We understand early,

If we disconnect our kids,

They don't like it.

And that's okay,

Is a tiny bit of,

You know,

Your sister sit on the naughty step.

But if you do it too much,

You set up kids,

You feel,

I can't connect.

And if you can't connect,

Of course you're depressed.

How could you not be depressed if you can't connect?

You go to a pet shop and there are all the mice sleeping on top of the mother,

All the kittens and puppies sleep together.

And now we take these babies and say,

They need their independence.

Really?

That's a dependent baby.

And they put it in their own room at the top of their.

.

.

No,

They have to cry themselves to sleep.

They've got to learn to be independent.

How can a dependent baby be independent?

And we do this crazy stuff.

I've spent a lot of time with tribes and they all sleep together.

They all,

They're all together.

They don't have this aloneness that's such an illness and now it's worse than ever because people have all these Facebook friends.

My daughter,

They don't even speak on the phone.

They text each other.

They never call.

They text and they text back.

And she's like,

Oh,

I've been texting my friend for two hours or this guy texts me.

It's like,

Don't you speak on the phone?

No,

No one does that.

It's kind of weird.

It's kind of weird.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So those were the two.

Oh,

And the third one is a really interesting one.

It's less common,

But really,

Which is what I want is not available.

So I'm going after love,

But I know I'm not lovable.

I want to be free of depression,

But you know,

I've got the depressed gene.

My mother was depressed.

My great grandmother was suicided depressed.

So it's a bit like a fly that you see trying to get out of the window,

But hitting it and hitting it,

It's never going to get out because it's not doing the right thing.

So the third group pursue something,

But they have this unconscious belief.

It's not available.

I'm going to find a guy or a girl and get married,

But I know it won't last.

I'm going to go after this great job,

But I know they won't give it to me.

I'm going to be a speaker,

But I'm so terrified of speaking on stage.

I break into a sweat.

I start to stutter.

I never get booked again.

I want to be healthy,

But there's no way I can not eat cakes that I'm just destined to be fat or sick or stupid or out of control.

And you see,

The beliefs are so powerful.

You make your belief and then your beliefs make you.

And then you go out into the world and it honors your belief.

If you believe that dogs are scary and are going to attack you,

They will.

If you believe people don't like you,

They pick up your energy.

Try getting on a horse with a belief that,

I'm terrified of this horse.

The horse picks up your fear and bolts.

Get on a horse and go,

The horse knows what to do.

And I'm so kind of,

You can play with these things.

They really work,

But you make your beliefs and then your beliefs make you.

And then the world starts to really replicate what you believe.

If you go out and say,

No one likes me and I'm invisible,

You'll find that people pick up that thought.

And if you go out and say,

Everyone loves me because I'm just a warm,

Great person.

You smile at people,

They smile back.

But if you think no one likes you,

You don't make eye contact.

Then you go,

See,

I went out today and no one connected to me.

But you set yourself up for that.

I know this guy is going to dump me.

So you start to say things like,

Do you really like me?

Are you sure you like me?

Have you cheated on me?

Everyone I meet cheats on me.

And then they go,

Well,

I just proved my point.

But you set that up.

In fact,

One of my clients told me that all her boyfriends cheated on me.

And that was our opening line with any man.

Everyone I meet cheats on me.

Are you going to cheat on me?

And they're like,

I'm not even going to date you because you're so intensive,

You know.

I have no luck with men.

I'm like,

What a crazy way to start your day.

Some of my clients go,

I get up and I go onto my feed and I look at all the hate mail.

It's like,

Why not stick a needle in your mouth?

I mean,

Why would you even do that?

And then how do you set up your day?

Why not look at all the praise?

Oh,

I like to look at the hate mail first.

I'm planning.

I like to protect myself against pain.

I'm like,

But that just sets you up for pain.

So a lot of people don't understand or even see how their behavior is setting themselves up for rejection.

You know,

We are our own worst enemies.

Women especially look at them and go,

Oh my God,

I look dreadful.

Look at my hair.

This t-shirt's too tight.

I should have got that cleaned.

The hem's fallen down.

I look a mess.

And they carry those.

And I haven't left enough time to get to work.

I didn't do that presentation.

I'm such an idiot.

We tag on all these names,

I'm a loser.

I was like,

Imagine if you had a best friend and when they woke up,

You're like,

Oh,

You look awful.

You gained five pounds and you should have ironed that shirt and it's too tight.

Some friend.

And then you came downstairs and they went,

Well,

You're just eating totally the wrong food.

No wonder you're out of shape.

And then they drove to work and said,

You're never going to get there in time.

And you haven't charged the phone and that presentation is awful.

And you've done that so badly.

You'd go,

I need to get you out of my life.

But we are our own worst enemies because often we talk to ourselves and we're like,

Our friends wouldn't tolerate it.

But they should be teaching this stuff in schools that if you praise yourself,

There's nothing that will grow your self-esteem like praise.

And there's nothing that will diminish it like your own criticism.

I love that,

The feedback of the beliefs.

It's like just this feedback mechanism of your relationship with the world and how to interject with them is going to be my very next thing,

Was the importance of the dialogue with oneself.

Well,

The great thing about beliefs is that your beliefs are yours to change.

You can choose whatever you want.

I always say to my clients,

Look,

Here's the deal.

If you want to be negative,

You can choose that.

If you want to be positive,

You can choose that.

But you know what you can't choose?

What you do to your body when you're negative,

The anxiety levels,

The cortisol that goes up and how that can even affect your fertility.

Cortisol pushes,

Makes you gain more fat.

It gives you more stress.

So while if you wish to choose to be negative,

That's up to you.

What's not up to you is that ill health you get from being negative,

When you could actually choose to be positive.

You know,

And it's just a simple shift from saying,

I've got a memory like a sieve to,

I remember everything.

I always mess things up.

I get things right.

I don't have enough time.

I've got enough time.

I've got 10 minutes.

That's all I need.

And if I'm five minutes late,

Does it really matter in the scheme of things?

It's not the end of the world,

But people use this as a disaster.

It's a nightmare.

And they'll say things like,

You know,

This job is killing me.

I'm dying under the pressure,

This commute is going to kill me,

Which isn't true.

When is a commute ever going to kill anyone?

You know,

Being in a freeway can be stressful,

But you have a car and money to run a car.

It takes a lot longer to have to get the bus and the train and walk.

And your problem is someone else's fantasy dream come true.

And so it's very important to just look at how you speak to yourself.

Do you always say,

That's a nightmare?

That's a disaster.

This is terrifying.

This is hell.

What are you talking about?

You're talking about the queue in the store.

If you go to someone like Zimbabwe,

There's no food in the store.

You realize that having a store full of food and money to buy is far from hell.

And so it sounds a bit Pollyanna,

But just getting yourself to listen to yourself.

And do you describe yourself as a loser,

An idiot,

A retard,

A moron?

Most people do,

Surprisingly,

Especially teenagers.

I'm a loser.

And it's much more important to go,

Look,

I'm great,

I'm amazing.

I've got a unique skill.

Because you feel so different saying that to,

There's something wrong with me,

I guess I'm just messed up.

And that's not true.

What's true is you have one of those three things.

You think you're not enough.

You think you're different and you can't connect.

Or you believe that what you want,

Particularly love and success,

Is never going to be available to you.

And none of those are true.

Are those patterns generally formed in the early part of our childhood?

Very,

Very early on.

Usually,

I mean,

We learn half of what we learn in our life before we're five.

And our personality and character is pretty much formed at seven.

That doesn't mean it can't change.

For instance,

If at five,

You see your mother crying because she can't pay the rent or your mother's getting very stressed because you need new school shoes and to pay those,

You can't buy food,

Or she's crying because she wanted to go on this school trip,

And then hasn't got them in there saying,

They say,

We can't find the money and I don't know where the money's coming from.

There just isn't enough money.

We can't get the money.

You'll then form a belief that money is very hard to come by and there's never enough of it.

And that may drive you to be very successful,

But you'll always feel that you still need more and more and more.

And there are many millionaires like that who still need more.

If your mother has numerous boyfriends,

They all leave and you see her crying,

You'll form a belief that goes,

Oh,

Love is that painful stuff that hurts you.

Love is that place where you get abandoned over,

And I don't want that.

I'm never going to go through that.

And of course,

At a very early age,

We give our mind direct suggestions.

In fact,

Detailed commands.

I don't want to go to that place called love where you get dumped every year or shouted at,

Or maybe it's the opposite,

My parents been together for 30 years,

They can't stand each other,

But they're still together and I don't want to get married because that's a kind of torture.

And of course,

Many years later,

You've forgotten how you imprinted yourself as a child,

But your mind never forgets because it has a job and its job is to act on what you tell it.

If you tell your mind,

I never want to speak out because I did that in class,

Everyone laughed at me.

If you say to your mind,

I never want to have a baby.

My mum,

When I was on hip to do it,

Nearly killed me.

I was in agony for three days.

I wanted to die.

I got cut in half and it was just like being burnt alive.

The baby thinks,

Oh,

I don't want to experience that.

Now we have unexplained infertility,

Which you can't explain because there's nothing wrong with someone biologically.

But the belief in them.

But the belief,

And so many clients,

I work with fertility will go back to even their own birth.

Being a tiny baby and the crib people going,

How was it?

Oh,

It was hell.

I thought I was going to die.

Never again.

I'd rather die than go through that again.

Or they have a baby and they go,

Imagine if we had to,

Well,

That would kill me.

Can you imagine having no nightmare?

We'd be bankrupt.

I wouldn't get any sleep.

And now we have secondary infertility where the person has a first baby,

It's a dream,

But they just can't get pregnant again because they say all that stuff like,

Oh,

If I had another one,

I'd kill myself.

I mean,

It's a joke,

But the mind goes,

Kill yourself if you had another one.

Hey,

I have a job to do.

That's to keep you alive against not great odds.

And if you say you die of the stroke of another baby,

I'm going to make sure you never have another baby.

In the same way when you say,

I'm dying at work.

My boss is killing me.

My clients are a nightmare.

If I have one more parent that I'm going to kill myself,

Your mind goes,

This place called work seems to make you want to kill yourself.

Why didn't I just give you an ulcer or massive panic attacks or excruciating migraines so you can't go to this place called work?

Because your mind's job is to keep you alive and anything you say like,

Oh,

When that guy dumped me,

I wanted to die.

I'd die before I let that happen again.

Your mind doesn't know that that's a word.

It sees it as a threat.

And that's why RTT is so good because we unpick all these crazy things people tell themselves and go,

Look,

It's not true.

You're not going to die from rejection.

In fact,

If you lived in an apartment with 10 cats and had all your stuff delivered by Amazon,

You'd probably live until you're 110.

We don't die from rejection anymore,

But it still feels like we will.

We don't die from being humiliated or screamed at at work or our boss firing us and rid of the whole office floor,

But we feel like rejection will kill us.

Because it did once and now it doesn't.

Thank you for sharing that.

So my next question is,

Like the best way to sort of interject your own patterns then?

Yeah.

So the smartest way to get your mind to work for you because you can work for it or it can work for you is to see your mind almost like a PA.

And if you had a PA,

You wouldn't go,

Look,

I'm going out,

Just deal with my diary.

Any more than you go to a hairdresser and go,

Can you cut my hair while I make some phone calls and look up and go,

What have you done?

You wouldn't say to a decorator,

I'm going away for a week,

So can you decorate my house?

And I'm going to go,

I hate this manner.

What were you thinking of?

When we want to get the best from a decorator,

Even a waiter,

We go,

This is exactly what I want.

I want that with that,

I want it to look like that.

And then we get what we want when we're clear.

You know,

I have a great PA,

I have a great hairdresser,

But I tell them what I want.

When I go to a restaurant,

I go,

Well,

I don't.

.

.

Can I have that without the sauce?

Can I have that without.

.

.

Could you cook it like that?

And if I'm nice,

I get exactly what I want.

If I don't ask,

I go,

Oh,

I didn't realize that came with a sauce and the sauce is covered in sugar.

And I should have told you,

When I have a salad,

I don't want all that dressing on it.

And the mind is no different.

If you say to someone,

This is what I want,

I want to stay home all weekend and work on my website.

And I want to really enjoy it.

Your mind will go,

Oh,

That's what you want?

Shut yourself away and work on it.

Great,

I'll fill you up with passion.

If you go,

I want to go to the gym.

I want to do 600 sit-ups because I want a flat stomach.

I want to run.

I want to pick apples instead of dessert.

Your mind goes,

Okay.

Because you're clear.

But when you go,

Oh,

Look at that menu.

They have apple pie and ice cream and pizza,

My favourite.

But I've got to eat this boring old rabbit food.

Your mind just goes,

Eat the pizza,

Eat the pizza.

You keep saying,

I love pizza.

It's better than sex,

Which by the way,

It certainly isn't.

We say,

Oh my God,

This is better than sex.

Chocolate is better than sex.

When you're not having any sex,

Your mind goes,

Eat chocolate.

You said it was better than sex.

Because we talk to ourselves in such a crazy way.

My kid makes me want to die.

No,

They don't.

They just wake up a lot.

This guy's dumped me because he doesn't like me.

No,

He just got bored.

You grew out of each other.

That relationship run its course and there's a better one.

So the way you talk to yourself,

What you present to your mind,

It will present right back to you.

When you go,

He dumped me because there's nothing.

I'm a single mom.

What have I got to offer?

I got fired because I'm an idiot.

I'm fat because I'm just now to control pig.

If you say that to your mind,

It agrees with you.

If you go,

Right mind,

You know,

I really want to drop 20 pounds and I want to do whatever it takes.

I want to eat fruit.

I want to wake up and I want to run.

So you can't get up and go,

Oh God,

I got to run.

I hate running.

I'd rather kill myself than run.

And when I'm running,

I could be at home watching my favourite stuff on Netflix.

You got to go,

I want it,

Want it,

Want it.

When you're running,

You have to go,

I love it.

Love it,

Love it,

Love it,

Love it.

Because your mind believes everything you tell it.

If you're not sure,

Tell yourself using a lemon right now.

Close your eyes.

Imagine you've got half a lemon in your hand.

Breathe it in.

Breathe in that great lemon smell.

Now open your mouth,

Squish that lemon and shove it in your mouth and start biting the lemon and sucking out the lemon and eating all the lemon flesh.

Eat that whole half a lemon and then open your eyes and realize that there was a lemon.

It was in your mind.

Your mind didn't go,

Come on,

There's no lemon.

You're being ridiculous here,

There's no lemon.

Your mind went,

Lemon,

That's very acidic for your teeth.

Let me pump out saliva and wash it away.

When you do those little lemon tests,

You think,

Oh,

That's proof,

Isn't it,

That my mind believes whatever I tell it.

Because here's something to remember,

Your mind doesn't care if what you tell it is right or wrong,

Good or bad,

Healthy or unhealthy.

Just let's sit in and now you have proof.

Why not tell it amazing things?

Muhammad Ali said,

"'I told myself I was the greatest.

"'Before I even knew I wasn't "'and then something amazing happened,

"'I became the greatest.

'" What a concept,

Tell yourself,

I'm gifted.

I've got a unique sense,

I'm good at something.

People like me.

And if you say it enough,

It will become true,

Even if it wasn't true when you began.

Or say,

I'm an idiot,

No one likes me.

I've got low skills and guess what?

You can make that true,

You can make anything true.

So you might as well make amazing things true.

So let me show you something,

Because you've got a video.

Put your finger together like that,

Just like that.

Make a circle and I'm going to pull against it.

So I want you,

Don't let me break the circle.

And I want you to say,

I'm amazing.

I'm amazing.

I'm talented.

I'm talented.

I'm awesome.

I'm awesome.

People like me.

People like me.

Good,

Now I want you to say,

I'm an idiot.

I'm an idiot.

I'm a loser.

I'm a loser.

No one likes me.

No one likes me.

Do that again.

Oh wow.

Say,

I'm an idiot.

I'm an idiot.

I'm a loser.

I'm a loser.

You see,

When you say things that are negative,

You actually make yourself,

It's such a threat to your body.

When you say,

I'm an idiot and I'm a loser,

No one likes me,

Years ago you would have died because we needed a tribe.

You couldn't go out and hunt on your own and look after your kids.

You needed a group of people.

So when you say,

I'm an idiot and I'm a loser,

No one likes me,

You become weak.

When you say,

I'm strong and I'm awesome and I have friends,

You become strong.

And it's a very good thing.

You can do it yourself,

But it's even better when someone else does it.

You think,

Wow,

Negative thoughts physically weaken my body.

Yes.

Your immune system,

Yes.

Your nervous system,

Absolutely.

And strong thoughts make you stronger.

So why not think better thoughts?

Changes your life.

Amazing.

So a lot of this work was centered in your past child psychology and then obviously evolved into,

Why was it hypnotherapy that came in?

You just found that was the most direct route to.

.

.

Well,

You know,

I'm not anti any therapist.

All therapists are good people with good hearts who want to change.

But I realized that conventional therapy is so long.

So people go in and go,

You know,

I've got a fear of lifts.

And the therapist say,

Well,

We're going to do counts and we're going to talk about that.

How do you feel when you get in the lift?

And what happens?

And let's see,

Do you get in the lift?

It's all black.

Why don't we make it pink?

Or why don't we change the colors of the lift?

Imagine all the buttons are orange and it's all,

I just don't understand why people would spend all that time when it's easy to go,

Look,

I'm going to count to three and go back to why you have a fear of a lift.

Back you are at a scene.

And it's often a scene where the child is stuck in a cupboard or the brother thinks it's a joke to shut them in somewhere.

My brother had to look after us one day and he literally unscrewed the door handle of our bedroom door.

So my sister and I couldn't get out all day.

And then he put it back on again when my parents came home.

I could say that gave me claustrophobia.

And if I was on my own,

It was a small cupboard.

It probably would have done.

They were like,

Oh,

I see.

So when I was a kid,

I was shut in a cupboard.

I was really scared.

You must understand with children,

Everything is forever.

If you don't feed a baby when it's one,

It feels like it's never going to be fed.

If mom goes out,

The child thinks they're never coming back.

And when you lock a kid in a cupboard,

They think,

Oh,

I'm going to be in here forever.

And now the mind's got a fear of enclosed spaces.

And then you got to go,

But I'm not a kid.

I'm never going to be stuck in a cupboard.

I travel everywhere with a phone,

Even in a lift.

There's no such thing as being trapped.

I could deal with that.

And then it's all gone.

But when you do conventional therapy,

Which says,

Talk about it,

Talk about it,

Talk about it,

You never find out what lies beneath.

And in fact,

When you talk about it too much,

It's like talking about the day you went bankrupt.

You just keep it going.

And you'd never say to your dentist,

I've got an infection in my gum.

Could I come along every week and talk about it with you?

Dentist would go,

No,

That infection's going to spread into the bone.

We need to remove it.

And you're in pain.

Let's extract it or fill it or get the toxins out.

So I've always thought conventional therapy was missing a trick.

And also we live in a fast world.

You know,

When that circle goes round on our screen,

It's like,

Oh,

I'm going to go to something else.

People are no longer prepared to wait.

They don't wait for a delivery.

They don't wait for anything.

Our life is fast.

So I invented my own therapy called rapid transformational therapy.

Because it's rapid,

It's incredibly transformational.

Because it finds out instantly why.

Why have you got a money block?

Why have you got a relationship block?

Why have you got a success block?

Why aren't you confident?

No baby is born saying,

Don't look at me.

I've got fat legs or triple knees.

They have no concept.

They think they're amazing.

And so I don't talk about why,

I go back and find out why.

But I do it with the client,

Not for them.

And then they go,

Wow,

That's amazing.

Now I finally get it.

I understand why.

I can never leave food.

My dad sat over me and said,

If that's on your plate,

Eat it.

And if I didn't eat it,

He got it out of every meal.

It was congealed and I had to eat it.

And now I eat anything without even thinking,

Do I want it?

Am I hungry?

Or,

You know,

When I was seven,

My mom's husband looked at me in a really funny way and I didn't like it.

I just want to be big and unattractive so he doesn't look at me.

And now I realize why I eat so much.

And so one of my clients was saying that,

That she remembered in therapy,

Opening the fridge and if I eat all this food,

I'll get really big.

And then my stepdad's son won't hit me.

I'll get bigger than him.

And of course,

Years later,

He's not in the picture,

But she's still eating like that.

And a diet cannot even touch the belief that says,

I must be big.

It's the only way I'm safe.

So diets don't work.

But uncovering a belief system that's outdated and removing it is incredible.

And you can do the whole thing in less than an hour.

And then I always give my clients a recording.

That's very important because we're rewiring.

You know,

We update our software all the time and yet we have software up here that really needs to be updated.

You never got cookies as a kid and all the other kids did and you felt left out.

And now you still eat cookies every day because if I need cookies,

You don't need cookies now.

You're 35.

They're going to be there until you're 105.

But you don't need them.

And so the rewiring is very important.

Extract the old stuff,

Put in new stuff.

Because we have neural pathways.

They're like little roads in our mind and they become a little track and then they become a super highway.

But if you shut them down,

They just shrivel away.

And so it's very important to understand that you can put in good neurons and remove negative ones.

And it's not complicated.

It's really easy and super fast if you do it the right way.

What fascinates me is when you go into these processes,

It's almost like,

Because we've done the process with you several occasions now,

And what fascinates me is,

In your conscious mind,

In your day-to-day,

You would never have thought about those moments in your past that would have sat in and created these deep-seated behavioral tendencies within yourself.

And all of a sudden,

It's almost like you go in,

And like you said,

It's an hour.

Yeah,

It's an hour.

It can be less.

And it fascinates me that these things are almost just waiting for you to have a chat to them about.

Yes,

Exactly.

Sure.

Isn't that,

Like,

That's fascinating.

Yes,

It is one that everybody will relate to.

You know,

500 years ago,

The thing we died of more than anything was hunger.

You know,

We died of hunger.

We didn't have a lot of food.

You had to go out and find it,

You know,

Locate it as a gatherer or hunt it down.

And there were times when there was no food and we were hungry,

And that killed us.

And our monkey brain,

Our primitive brain,

Is wired to be really scared of hunger.

And so,

To this day,

We think,

Look,

I've got an hour commute home,

And I've got a lovely chicken salad in the fridge,

And I can have that in an hour.

But the point of the day goes,

You could die of hunger,

Cram in those jelly beans,

Eat those taco chips,

Get some chocolate out of the vending machine,

Because we're wired to be so scared of hunger that when hunger appears,

We shove food in our mouth.

So,

While we're waiting for our lovely sushi to arrive,

Not sushi,

Actually,

The whole bread basket,

We just can't wait.

We go,

I can't wait to eat.

And that's a primitive behavior,

Wired to keep you alive.

And you're not going to get rid of that,

But you can talk to one another and go,

Look,

Here's the deal.

I know you're telling me I could die of hunger,

But actually,

I'm not going to die in an hour.

I would like to wait till I get home and eat that chicken salad really slowly.

I'm in a restaurant,

They're taking a long time to say,

I would rather ignore the bread and just wait.

I can wait an hour for my fish to arrive,

Or whatever it is.

And if you say that,

Do you mind,

It will stop sending you the fear signals.

It's like,

Oh my God,

This boy is going to reject me.

And you go,

No,

Nobody can reject me without my permission.

He's going to love me,

Because I'm great.

And if he doesn't,

I'll find another one that does.

There's hundreds of guys or girls that would love me.

So you've got to talk yourself out of it.

You know,

When you have a great brain,

You have a choice.

And everyone has a great brain.

Rationalize why you feel so bad,

Or talk yourself out of it.

I need to eat,

I'm starving.

No,

You've never been starving in your entire life.

I'm dying of hunger.

No,

You're not.

I could eat a horse.

I don't think you'd even eat a tiny bit of a horse.

And I'm going to die if this person doesn't call me.

No,

You're not.

You can call him and go,

Hey,

What's going on?

Or you can call someone else.

So don't rationalize why you feel so bad.

Talk yourself out of it.

He's not sitting at home,

Not calling you.

He might be sick.

He might be stressed.

He might be busy.

His phone might be there,

But he's not going,

Oh,

I'm not calling you.

I'm rejecting you.

I've been doing it for two hours.

I'm hurting you.

But when someone does that,

It's very easy to go,

No one likes me.

No,

This is just one guy or one girl that's got their own issues.

We're flawed people.

And we have relationships with flawed people.

And that's as good as it's ever going to be.

You're never going to find a perfect guy because you're not perfect.

And if you find someone perfect,

They're really intimidating.

So don't rationalize what's gone wrong.

Focus on what's gone right.

Talk yourself out of the negative.

So I can say to your mind,

I want to eat healthily every day.

I want to go to the gym.

I want to spend the whole weekend working.

I want to stand on stage and be a speaker.

I want to go up to this great person and go,

Hi,

I'd love to have a coffee with you.

And I want to feel so good because I cannot be rejected ever unless I give some person to reject me.

And I'm never going to do that.

So people can't reject me unless I let them.

And if you decide not to let people reject you,

Your life changes because it's our greatest fear.

If you decide not to let in destructive criticism,

Your life changes again dramatically because it's the thing that damages people the most.

And yet you always have a choice to not let it in.

Amazing.

So you're a world of wisdom person.

I could talk to you all day.

But just before we do part ways,

Is there a message in your heart that you really want to share other than what you've been sharing?

Well,

My message is always the same.

You're enough.

You know,

You are enough just the way you are.

If you were born and your parents died and you would have adoption,

100 people would apply to adopt you,

Probably 500,

Because you're a gorgeous baby.

Even if you say,

Yeah,

But I was born with a cleft palate,

So what?

You're still enough.

So the biggest thing is,

Tell yourself you're enough every day.

Write it on your screensaver.

Put it on your phone alerts.

Write it on your fridge.

Change all your passwords so you read it,

Speak it.

Tell yourself you're enough.

Do not let in destructive criticism.

And most of all,

Don't destructive criticize yourself.

Say,

I made a mistake and I'll never do that again.

Or I made a mistake and I don't do it again.

I'm an idiot.

I left the house without the keys because I'm a super moron with rocks for brains.

No,

I left the house without the keys.

It was inconvenient.

Cost me a lot of money to get an office.

But I'll never do that again.

Now you've learned something.

And if you learn something and you don't repeat it,

You've advanced your education.

You're allowed to make a mistake.

You are not allowed to beat yourself up and make yourself sick because you're a human.

Amazing.

I really want to thank you for your time here today.

You're so welcome.

And yeah,

Sharing so effortlessly.

So much depth to what you were sharing,

Especially the way we communicate to ourselves fundamentally at the core of that and the relationship we have with our beliefs and how they form the world that we live in for ourselves as well.

But also not just for today,

Also all the work.

And I know your journey is one of self-discovery as well,

Where you found yourself in that.

And so learning from all of that and then coming to share that with us as well.

So thank you for all the work that you've put into yourself to share today.

And could I just say that if any of your listeners would like some free help,

On my website,

Marisapeer.

Com,

We always give away stuff.

Right now,

We're giving away a free mini course on self-esteem,

A free mini course on money blocks,

A free mini course on relationship blocks,

And a free mini course on health blocks.

And they're totally free.

We don't ask for credit card deals.

It's not a scam.

It's just,

I like to help people.

So if you go to marisapeer.

Com,

And I think next month we're probably going to give away installing the cheerleader,

Which is putting back your self-belief.

So if you want some help,

Take those products.

They really help you all.

Go to YouTube and look at my I Am Enough talk.

And I've got another talk all about why we think it's not available.

And they will really help you dramatically.

Amazing.

I've worked with some of the recordings myself,

And one of them is a confidence one,

Which is really beautiful.

Yeah.

Beautiful to work with again and again.

And it's like a good tea.

The more you steep,

The stronger it gets.

Yeah,

Of course.

So it's really a blessing.

So thank you so much for offering and sharing.

You're so welcome.

So generously.

I just have one last question.

And this is the last question to every episode.

It's metaphysical in its nature.

Beyond the skin suit,

Beyond the work that you do,

Beyond the name,

Who is Marisa?

Who is Marisa?

Well,

Someone broke down my name,

Marisa Peer,

And it breaks down to I Am A Seer,

Which I thought was quite interesting.

So who am I?

Well,

I'm a healer,

And I love being a healer.

A lot of the work I do is shamanic,

As well as deeply psychological.

But I'm just a person that has a gift for helping people.

And I always say,

Look,

Frank Sinatra was meant to sing.

Imagine if he'd been a plumber.

What a waste.

Given a gift,

You must share that gift.

Of course.

You're not given a gift to go off and do something else with it.

So I've got a gift to help people,

And that's my purpose.

So I'm someone who lives that purpose,

And I love what I do,

And I do what I love.

Thank you so much for sharing that.

That is the prophecy of the inspired evolution.

So thank you so much for coming along today.

And for those that want to get in touch with Marisa Peer,

As you heard,

The best way to do that is to jump online.

There's a whole bunch of free courses there waiting for you to take yourself to the next level.

And any other ways to reach out?

Instagram,

Facebook?

Yeah,

I've been so lucky that I was called Marisa Peer.

So Instagram,

Facebook,

Twitter,

I'm on all of those.

Marisapeer.

Com.

There's only one Marisa Peer,

So you can always find me.

Perfect.

Thank you so much.

You're so welcome.

Thank you.

Hey,

Tribe.

Thanks for tuning in to another fun,

Enlightening episode of the inspired evolution.

I've been loving all the feedback and personal stories of love,

Health,

And growth.

Your feedback and stories are incredibly welcome.

The easiest way to connect with me is via my website,

Which is www.

Amrit-sandhu.

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Tribe.

Reviews

Thank you so much. It’s just what I needed to hear. I AM ENOUGH 💙

Thank You ✨

Great podcast!! Thank
You!! 💜