Hello and welcome to today's meditation about identifying self-judgment and bringing in
self-compassion.
My name is Amandine and I will be your guide today.
Self-judgment and self-criticism can be very ingrained through patterns,
So much so that
we don't fully realize that they are present.
Many of us have a lot of conditioning that negatively impacts the thoughts we hold about
ourselves,
And many of us are just starting to recognize the ways in which we talk to
ourselves or how often we treat ourselves with unkindness.
Much like improving our physical health,
It is important to first be aware of the ways
in which we are suffering as a result of self-judgment.
It is also important to not judge yourself about being self-judgmental.
It is time to recognize that we have and are doing our best,
And maybe it is time to bring
in a new skill,
A new tool,
Self-compassion.
Just like any other skill,
It must be practiced regularly before it becomes a valuable tool.
This meditation is here to support you in identifying self-judgment and then bring self-compassion
to meet it.
Let's get comfortable.
Sit or lay down with the spine comfortably erect,
And allow your eyes to do whatever
they need to do for you to have the most awareness without being distracted by your surroundings.
So close your eyes if you need to,
Or leave them open with a soft gaze.
And now,
Tune into your breath.
Feel your lungs moving,
And your belly receiving that air going up and down with every breath
cycle.
Get in contact with your body and feel it.
Feel how it reacts when oxygen comes in,
And how much more relaxed it is when it exhales.
Breath is such a crucial part of us,
Underrated,
As it is our best ally to anchor us to the
present moment.
We're not breathing in the future,
Nor in the past.
Every breath cycle is happening right now.
So just tune in and notice,
Where are you feeling your breath?
More in your chest,
Your throat,
Your nostril,
Your belly?
If your breathing feels a little shallow,
What does it feel like to allow yourself to
deepen your breath,
Breathing right into the bottom of your lungs?
Explore this gently,
Without force,
Nor expectation.
Are there any sensations or emotions that arise by doing this,
By deepening or filling
your breath?
Just take note of them,
Knowing there is nothing to change or fix.
All our sensations,
Emotions,
And experiences are welcome in this practice.
If it feels good,
Allow your breath to deepen even further,
Right into your belly.
You may notice your mind starting to wander,
And that is normal.
That is what minds do.
Let's come back to the exercise.
Noticing your emotions and sensations.
Wonderful.
If it feels good,
Allow your breath to deepen even further,
Right into your belly.
Again,
Notice how your body responds to this.
As you allow your body to be still and rest,
You might know that certain ideas or concepts
are floating to the surface.
You might notice messages like,
I don't know how to do this right,
Or I can't stop thinking
about X,
Y,
And Z.
You might also notice emotions arising.
All of this is very normal.
When we slow down and are still,
We create space for things to arise.
It's like we're taking our feelings off mute,
And now we can hear them.
Conversely,
You might feel nothing at all,
Which is equally normal.
Many of us,
Once we start paying attention to what is happening in our minds and hearts,
Experience a sort of numbness.
A teacher once told me,
Feeling nothing is still feeling something.
So if you feel nothing,
Just allow yourself to have that experience.
Whatever it is that you're experiencing,
See if you can just watch it and know whether
there are any voices of self-blame,
Self-shame,
Or self-criticism coming up.
Are you telling yourself you should be feeling differently?
Are you perhaps resisting this experience and telling yourself you shouldn't be?
Is there anxiety about the future or a sense that this is a waste of time and you should
be getting things done?
Whatever the critical voice is saying,
For now,
You're just letting it speak.
You're just tuning into the radio of your mind.
You do not have to engage with it.
You can just simply listen without emotionally getting engaged.
If at any point this becomes too difficult,
Ground back into your breath.
Or notice your connection with the earth beneath you.
Do whatever you need to do to care for yourself.
You're doing beautiful.
Once you're aware of what messaging you're receiving from your brain,
Sink back into
your body.
Notice if there are any physical experiences that might be coming up.
You might notice a tightness in your shoulders,
A holding in your stomach,
A fluttering in
your throat,
Or a sense of numbness throughout.
There might be something entirely different.
Whatever you're experiencing,
Just witness it.
Do not try to make sense of it.
Just feel it.
If your thoughts are like the part of the iceberg we can see above the water,
Our emotions
are the much larger part beneath the surface.
Often we first have to witness the thought before understanding that there is a larger
emotion beneath the surface,
Holding up that thought.
Feelings that come up around self-criticism can be anything from anxiety to varying levels
of fear,
Grief,
Or anger.
See if you can notice and label what emotions are swirling around in your heart,
Your throat
area,
Or your stomach.
Can you recognize that any sensation attached to self-judgment is suffering?
That you are having a hard time with something?
Struggling and suffering are part of the human experience.
They are part of being a person who is alive.
So fear not.
You're doing beautifully.
See if you can try,
Just in this practice,
To let go of that thought that is above the
surface and sink into your body.
Offer some compassion towards the emotions and feelings you are having.
You can try placing a hand over your heart or your stomach and then placing your overhand
on top of the first.
Sense the warmth and the sensation of care and compassion that comes with this touch.
Allow your breath to deepen again,
Breathing into that sense of care and concern.
Can you say to that emotion,
To this experience,
It's okay?
Allow it to be in your body while offering it some kindness.
You are that strong.
You can also deliver the message to your whole being,
It's okay.
It is not your fault.
You're doing your best.
I'm here for you.
Whatever feels right,
Whatever you might say to an upset child or pet,
Say what it feels
like to say that to yourself,
To the parts of you that are suffering.
Whatever feels right.
Think about an upset child or a pet and ask yourself,
What would you say to them?
How would you help them feel better?
Try to say that to yourself,
To the parts of you that are suffering.
You can also try placing a hand on your cheek or your arm and gently stroking with care
anywhere that feels right.
We are all trying our best in this life.
And while thinking critical thoughts about ourselves or our actions can seem like a motivating
thing to do,
Or a way to prevent us from getting hurt,
Being critical and judgmental
to ourselves actually causes more suffering.
Paying attention to how we talk to ourselves can be a key in unlocking our patterns of
thinking.
Then showing care and concern for the parts of us that are struggling can help us to positively
transform the relationship we have with ourselves.
The more often you'll practice this,
The sooner you will be able to recognize self-critical
thoughts.
Upon this recognition,
We can remind ourselves that we are perfectly imperfect humans doing
our best and that no matter what,
We are worthy of love,
Acceptance and encouragement.
So take just a few more loving breaths into and out of your body.
Take those deep inhales,
Full of love,
And let it expand throughout your whole body as
you exhale.
When you're ready,
Reconnect with the surface beneath you.
Thank yourself for taking care of yourself,
For showing up today.
Not just for the working parts,
But for the hurt parts too.
And when you feel like it,
Slowly open your eyes.
Carry this self-compassion with you today.
Offer it to everyone you'll meet.
Because remember,
Self-compassion is like any other skill,
It needs practice.
Have a wonderful day and until next time.
