Hello lovely Insight Timer community,
It's Sam here from Aluna Moon.
Wow,
As I sit here wondering about a good starting point,
I can feel the intenseness of this question.
How not to take offence?
How not to take offence from what other people say?
So first of all,
I'm not saying in any way I do this perfectly,
But I thought together we could explore why it's so easy to take offence and perhaps how not to get wrapped up by it.
So taking offence is very much part of the ego.
Some call it the small self or the little self.
I tend to call it the full self.
And the full self is very much a necessary entry into the human material world.
It's not bad,
But it will only ever get you so far.
We need it,
But it will only ever get you so far.
And unfortunately it's not far enough.
So when someone says something that causes a negative reaction in us,
It's only our false self that is indeed reacting.
Our ego is also fragile and it constantly needs to protect itself or jazz itself up in some way to feel good.
Our true self is inherently fulfilled and naturally strong.
So as I sit here thinking about my false self,
My false self particularly likes to feel right.
Just ask my husband.
Other examples can be the need to feel admired,
Important,
Attractive,
Successful and so on.
The true self is the very core,
The very core of us and to me represents the wonderful,
Mystical oneness of everything.
So it really doesn't care what people think.
Not in a rebellious kind of way,
Not in a I don't care kind of way,
Just genuinely has no need or no idea,
No idea how to take part in that kind of drama.
So when we are living in our true self and it's only ever most of the time because it is a dance,
We can't help but slip into false self thinking.
It's a dance between the true and the false self.
But when we are living mostly in our true self,
We don't really get wrapped up in what other people think of us.
And our true self esteem naturally shines then like a beautiful diamond.
So try this if you like,
Whenever you find yourself spending or find yourself spending too much time worrying about what someone has said or not said.
Become in that moment deeply present.
So become deeply present in that moment.
And pay close attention to the part of you that is offended and why that might be.
You can then ask yourself some revealing questions and be compassionate with your answers.
Examples might be,
What do I want that person or people to think of me?
What do I want them to think of me?
Why does it hurt?
Where may this come from?
Where do I feel it in my body?
So you're following the rabbit down the hole and that deep awareness is key.
And you'll probably find it does come from your little self.
And then own it and be okay with it.
Let go,
Forgive,
Be okay.
Because ultimately it's not really you.
It's past hurts.
It's past hurts,
Expectations that have just cultivated a way of thinking over time.
And it isn't the truth.
Your unique mystical self that is connected to the oneness of everything is the only truth.
That's it.
