Before we begin,
I want to state that this meditation is for processing trauma responses.
If at any point you feel overwhelmed,
Disassociated,
Or flooded with emotion,
Open your eyes,
Move your body,
And come back into the room.
You are always in control,
And you can stop at any time.
We are not going back to relive the past.
We are here to reclaim power from it.
Now take a deep breath.
Now say what year it is out loud.
Say your age,
And say where you are right now.
Let your nervous system register,
I am here,
And this is now.
When you're ready,
Gently close your eyes.
Begin to identify a memory or time in your life you would like to work on.
It doesn't need to be the most painful memory from your past.
We are simply connecting to the energy of what was happening during that time.
Now,
Instead of going into the narrative,
Ask,
Where do I feel this in my body?
You don't have to think about it too much.
Just become aware of where you feel this sensation.
Now,
Try to describe the feeling.
Does it feel tight?
Heavy?
Hot?
Does it feel numb?
Don't try to change it.
Simply become aware.
Now,
Slowly breathe into that area of your body.
Take a deep breath in,
And slowly breathe out.
If you can,
Touch that area of your body and say out loud,
I can feel this and still be safe.
Let your body know that you are present.
Now ask,
What is this really?
Under the feeling,
Is it fear?
Shame?
Anger?
Helplessness?
Betrayal?
Grief?
Or is it something else?
Now say,
It makes sense that my nervous system responded this way.
Take a deep breath in,
And slowly breathe out.
When we validate ourselves and our emotions,
We begin to regulate.
Now we're going to go deeper.
You can say this out loud or in your mind.
I am not reliving this.
I am reclaiming myself from it.
Now we're going to go deeper.
Visualize the moment something shifted in you.
The moment you felt you couldn't speak or leave or defend yourself.
The moment you had to override your truth.
Freeze that moment in front of you.
Observe this moment as if it were on a screen in front of you.
And notice what your body did at that moment.
Did it feel constricted?
Did it go numb?
Were there any changes in temperature?
Did your body collapse?
And now find that sensation in your present body.
Where is it?
Now ask,
What did I truly want to do at that moment?
Not what I did,
Not what was appropriate or socially acceptable.
What did I truly want to do?
Now visualize yourself completing that action.
I'm going to give you a couple of minutes here so you can visualize anything you would have truly wanted to do at that moment.
Take your time.
Keep going until you feel your body shift.
Take a deep breath in and slowly breathe out.
You are not there anymore.
You are not stuck.
You are here in the present and you are safe now.
Repeat after me.
I did what I needed to do to survive.
I did what I could do with the awareness and tools I had at that time.
I am not wrong for the choices I made or did not make.
I cannot expect a past version of me to know what I know now.
I choose to see myself with compassion and understanding.
This ends with me.
Take a deep breath in and slowly breathe out.
Now ask yourself,
What beliefs were formed in that experience?
Some examples might be,
I am too much.
I am unsafe.
I must shrink in order to survive.
I have no power.
I am stuck.
I can't trust myself.
I cause conflict or anything else that comes up for you.
Notice where that belief lives in your body.
Visualize these belief systems as an object.
You don't need to think about it too much.
Just allow it to form into an object in front of you.
Now allow that object to grow as big as possible.
Even bigger.
Expand it as large as it can go.
To the edges of your awareness.
Even bigger.
Take a deep breath in.
And a long breath out.
Now allow the object to shrink as much as possible.
Even smaller.
Smaller than a grain of sand.
Smaller than an atom.
And notice how that feels.
Now allow it to fully disintegrate.
And say out loud,
Those beliefs were created in survival mode.
They are no longer necessary.
They are not my truth.
Place your hands on your chest.
Feel yourself here in the present moment.
And say out loud,
I am here now.
I give myself permission to leave when I need to leave.
I give myself permission to say no when I need to say no.
I know how to protect myself.
I choose safe environments.
And I remove myself from what feels unsafe.
I am not trapped in the past any longer.
You don't have to repeat anymore.
Simply allow your nervous system to absorb this.
Take a deep breath in.
And slowly breathe out.
Now imagine the version of you who endured that experience standing in front of you.
Look at them.
And tell them,
This is not your reality anymore.
It is done.
You are safe.
You are safe.
You are safe.
You don't have to repeat any longer.
You can envision this version of you being filled up.
With unconditional love.
Which you can visualize like a pink light.
That fills their entire body.
Allow that unconditional love to enter your present self as well.
Filling your entire body.
If it feels right,
Slowly walk towards that version of you.
And if possible,
Hug them.
And say,
We are safe now.
We are safe.
And if possible,
Allow them to merge into your own body.
Take a deep breath in.
And a slow breath out.
Visualize roots growing from the soles of your feet.
Connecting you to Mother Earth.
Deep,
Stable,
Supported.
You are here and now.
Grounded in your present reality.
You are no longer that version from the past.
They no longer exist.
You are only here now.
Take a deep breath in.
And a slow breath out.
Ask yourself if there's anything else that needs to release right now.
If yes,
You can repeat this guided practice as many times as you like.
And if not,
Allow there to be stillness.
There is nothing more to fix at this time.
The cycle has completed.
You are here now.
Slowly wiggle your hands and your toes.
You can lightly stretch arms and legs.
And when you're ready,
Take a deep breath.
And open your eyes.
Thank you.
