Soothing Heartbreak, Grief & Pain

This is a guided practice to help with difficult emotions. Are these emotions something we are not allowed to feel? Are they the enemy, are they to be fought? If we can be gentle and compassionate with ourselves, maybe we can soften up the edges, create a little room around them, feel that we are more than just pain, and know that we are not alone.

Transcript

This is a meditation to help soothe difficult emotions.

So whether you are sitting down or lying down,

Just start by getting a general feel of what it feels like to be alive,

To be you in your body right now.

What can you feel?

You can close your eyes if it helps.

What is inside you?

What is around you?

What about sensations in your body?

Are you aware of any warmth?

Are you aware of any tension?

Tingling maybe or aches and pains?

Any pressure anywhere?

And what about sounds around you?

They could be sounds from inside the room or outside.

Sounds that do not continue us,

What can you hear?

They rise and they enter your awareness.

They might stay for a little while and then they leave.

They might even be sounds from inside you.

And what about feelings,

Emotions?

Is anything arising?

What are you aware of?

What about thoughts?

What is your mind doing?

If you pay attention to things in this way,

You will notice that each of them,

Each of these sensations,

Thoughts,

Emotions,

Arises and then it falls again.

Some of them last longer,

Some of them are shorter.

But they all come and go.

They enter your awareness and then they leave your awareness.

It's like waves in the sea.

And you know that you are not the waves because you are the one observing the waves.

You are the consciousness observing these waves.

And you might be aware of your breath as well.

You might be aware of the physical sensations of the breath.

Can you feel the air around your nostrils?

Cool air going in.

You might be able to feel it at the back of your throat.

And warmer air coming out.

And your body is gently moving with the breath as well.

There's a rising and falling of either your chest or your belly or both.

Your body expanding on each in-breath and relaxing on each out-breath.

Can you put all of your attention on the breath?

How much of it can you follow?

Can you follow the whole in-breath?

And that little gap at the top where it turns into the out-breath and then a little gap again and then the next in-breath.

Aware of the breath,

Aware of the gentle continuous movement of the body following the breath.

There is nothing else that you need to do right now.

Just be with your breath.

This is your time.

And you might still be aware of those waves there in the background.

Sounds,

Thoughts,

Emotions.

And every now and then one of those might be a bigger wave and it might hijack your attention for a while.

And that's okay,

Just acknowledge it.

Just like a scientist,

Ah,

I am aware of this.

I am aware of this thought.

I am aware of this feeling,

This phenomenon.

Acknowledge it and then choose to come back to the breath.

Just let it go.

And when you are ready,

I'd like you to bring to mind some problems,

Some difficulty that you are experiencing.

It could be anything.

It could be,

It could be health,

It could be finances,

It could be relationships.

It could be stress,

It could be fear,

It could be anxiety.

It could be about yourself or it could be about someone else that you love.

Just make sure that you don't choose the biggest thing in your life right now.

Especially not if you are doing this for the first time.

So as you bring to mind this sensation,

This situation,

What is happening inside you?

What emotions are there?

What is stirring?

Do you have names for these sensations?

Do you have names for these emotions?

Is it stress?

Is it fear?

Is it terror?

Is it despair?

Is it grief?

Is it disappointment?

Anger?

Confusion?

Sadness?

And of course you might have more than one emotion.

Just pick one.

The one that stands out.

The biggest one.

Now remember I mentioned being like a scientist.

Just take field notes.

Acknowledge it.

Ah yes,

I notice fear.

I notice disappointment.

I notice heartbreak.

We're just noticing.

We're not trying to fix anything or change anything or force anything.

We're taking notes.

And where do you feel this emotion in your body?

If you're not sure you can scan your body and notice where you feel any tension.

And you can start from your feet.

What do you feel inside your feet?

How do your ankles feel?

Go up into your legs,

Knees and thighs.

Any tension?

Just stop where you find tension and just be with the feeling.

Again just observe the feeling.

Ah,

I recognise tension.

And this is what it feels like.

From the thighs up into the hips and your torso,

Chest,

Your back,

Shoulders.

Down into your hands and hands,

Any tension anywhere.

And back up into your neck and your face and your head.

What are you aware of?

And then just choose a single area.

Where is it?

Where do you feel it?

Is it in your chest or your tummy?

Is it in your jaw or clenched up?

Forehead?

Is it in your hands?

Where do you feel it?

And then you can start letting your muscles soften up.

Just let your muscles relax in this spot in your body.

And notice that I'm not saying relax your muscles.

Let them relax.

We're not forcing anything.

Just hold this area in your body with tenderness in the way that you would hold a friend who was in distress,

A friend experiencing the same emotion that you are experiencing,

The same sensations in the body.

Take that gentleness and use it with yourself as well.

You're just as valuable.

Let it soften up.

Kindly,

Gently,

Tenderly.

Let it relax.

And just in the same way that you would do with a friend,

You can offer yourself words,

Comforting sentences.

What would you say to a friend?

I know you're suffering.

I'm sorry you're suffering.

I know it's hard.

I'm here.

I'm with you.

You're not alone.

I care.

I'm so sorry you feel like this.

It is hard.

I know it's hard.

I'm with you.

What is it that you need to hear?

Offer it to yourself.

Just offer yourself some kindness.

And savour it.

Bask in it.

Let it nourish you.

Let it feed you.

And finally,

Can you just allow this discomfort to be there?

Can you make room for it?

We have observed it.

We have acknowledged it.

We have soothed it.

Can we just allow it to be there without fighting,

Without trying to turn away,

Run away?

You know you're not the waves.

You know that you are bigger.

You are like a container around this discomfort.

You are so much more.

Can you make room for it?

Can you make room around it?

Just allow it to be there.

Allow yourself to be yourself with the discomfort as well.

Accept yourself,

All of yourself as you are,

With the discomfort as well at this point in time.

And now come back to the feel of your body as a whole,

The sensations of lying down or sitting and again what it feels like to be you,

To be alive right now.

Your body breathing,

The clothes on your skin,

The sounds around you.

And when you're ready,

You can have a little stretch and open your eyes.

Reviews

Feeling less angry with myself for being lonely and still too sick to do anything about it.

Lovely :)
Many thanks!

Soothing and relaxing – a beautiful meditation journey indeed.💛☮️💫

This was so very helpful at a time when I’m in a lot of pain. I will do this one again every time I’m suffering as it helps so much. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Beautiful meditation
Blessings of gratitude and abundance 🙏

Very calming and soothing. Thank you 🙏

Really great. I found this to be soothing and comforting.

this was prefect, thank u, gentle and the ocean wave sounds really helped

Very lovely and healing Thank you ☺️

Lovely thank you 🙏

Really soothing, helped me to there their with my feelings objectively

Thank you, Alexandra! Quieting practice. Loved your voice!

So kind so helpful thank you

Calming and grounding. Currently grieving but I can see this will be helpful at many different times of strong emotion. Thank you.

Helpful in a heavy time - thank you ❤️

Thank you sooo much.
Very helpful. Will listen again.
🙏🏽💖

Wunderbar practice to surrender. Thanks so much

Beautiful voice, kind messages