How To Use The Two Most Common Goal Types

This a talk to help you understand how to identify the most common goal types we come across in our everyday lives, and a brief breakdown of how to use them to create more of the experiences we want to have.

Transcript

Welcome,

Welcome to the conversation.

Today we're gonna talk about two types of goals we most often come across and how to use them to get what we want.

So let's dive in.

So we all have things we want to accomplish in our life,

No matter what we call them,

Whether that be intentions or routines or habits,

At the end of the day,

It's still a goal.

Whether you think the goal is too big to be called a goal because you believe it's super life-changing or if what you want to accomplish is too small,

So,

So small,

You think that it shouldn't even go on a list of goals at all.

It's still a goal.

If you have problems with the word goal,

Call it whatever you want,

But let's be clear about what we're talking about here today.

My definition of a goal is simple.

It is a desire you want to make happen.

So now that we're on the same page,

Let's talk about how to set goals and how to make them happen.

What goals to go after and how?

We're gonna dive into that a little bit.

There are two types of goals we run into most often in life.

One is not better than the other.

In some areas of your life,

You have no-brainer goals of which the thought never crossed your mind that there were other options.

You just know you want that outcome and that's that.

I call those clear goals.

Then there are the ones we have problems deciding on.

Which one to go for is the most common sentiment,

And for that reason,

I call them deciding goals because you have to choose which one to go for and why.

So let's talk about them very briefly,

Okay?

Let's dive into that.

So clear goals,

Some goals are just super clear.

We know exactly how we want things to look,

Be,

Or do,

Or have.

And in these cases,

What's left to do is the how.

And the how is really just about breaking down the steps into chunks by starting with the end goal in mind and working backwards.

Deciding goals,

What if you have too many goals that maybe are pretty equal in desire to create and it causes confusion?

Okay,

First,

Let's assess what confusion really is because I think it will help you overcome problems in this particular situation and in general.

So my definition of confusion is confusion happens when you put other options into the mix,

Even though you just want to be doing the other thing.

You're holding the thing you really want in your left hand.

Okay,

Can you picture that?

You're holding the thing that you really want in your left hand,

It's so juicy and it's so good,

You literally salivate at the thought of having,

Being,

And doing that thing.

Now,

Enter your brain,

But then you pick up some other things with your right hand,

Picture that.

You pick up some other things with your right hand and think,

Ooh,

These look good too.

But confusion comes in when you allow your brain to tell you all of the reasons why the thing in your left hand isn't possible.

So therefore,

You should consider more quote unquote logical options,

Which are the things that you picked up in your right hand.

So with this new understanding of confusion,

You get to zoom in on the thing that feels the most exciting to cultivate.

Don't let your brain butt in by offering you the ifs and the maybes,

It's not helpful.

Usually your first gut feeling is the right answer.

Just let that be the right answer.

Once you've decided,

You get to go to work selling yourself on why this decision is the right choice.

And you just might have to do that every day until you don't have to do it every day anymore.

Selling yourself looks like grabbing a pen and notebook,

Paper,

Whatever you wanna write on,

And write your goal down at the top and list all of your thoughts and feelings about that goal.

Then go through each thought and prove it and disprove it.

So disproving thoughts and feelings looks like the thought is wrong.

Simplify,

If you,

Simply if it makes you feel bad,

Then it's wrong.

That's disproving the thought.

Proving the thought or the feeling,

The thought is right simply if it makes you feel good.

That's proving the thought.

So again,

Disproving the thought or the feeling is it makes you feel bad.

Proving the thought or feeling is it makes you feel good.

Okay,

Got that distinguishing?

Okay,

Then let me just caveat by saying that this isn't an invitation to beat yourself up.

If you feel bad,

This is not a time for you to allow that to be a reason for you to give yourself more feel-bads,

Okay?

We have human brains and we'll always have some level of bad or negative thoughts,

And that doesn't mean that anything has gone wrong.

As a matter of fact,

It means there's an opportunity to explore with curiosity why you're having those thoughts and to disprove them and then choose a belief that you can get on board with.

Let's talk about the how part.

This is the area where your brain loves to be.

It loves to participate in linear thinking because it creates a path for creating linear outcomes,

Of which makes no sense because life is not linear.

We're going to break down the how into two modules.

So module one is the who before what.

Our brain first asks us,

But what do we need to do?

And I'm going to offer you that you bypass that question,

Violently pushing it aside if you must to allow the question,

Who do I need to be?

Allow that to come to the forefront and you work on that first.

Why?

Because no matter what you decide to do or how you decide to make things happen,

You will have to become the person who has the outcome first.

So I want you to visualize yourself having the results that you want.

This goal you're wanting to achieve,

It's already done.

I want you to picture that.

You got it?

You're the person who has it.

It's yours.

What does your life feel like?

Find as many details about you,

The goal,

Like any and everything that you can.

Just allow yourself to visualize that.

And then from that space,

Ask yourself,

Who do I need to become to have it all?

That's a great daily practice.

So module two,

From the answers that came up from the module one,

I want you to list how you made it happen.

Now,

Don't,

And I do mean don't,

Let your brain tell you things to get you off track.

Yeah,

But,

Nope,

But,

You know,

Your brain's gonna just interject all of those.

Yeah,

But,

No,

But,

Nope,

Nope,

Nope.

I don't care how ridiculous the answers are that come up for you,

That is your how.

Just let that be the truth.

Now you can chunk it down and break it into doable steps.

Like,

For example,

I want to rearrange my office.

I wanna kind of redecorate it.

So I get the vision and I move into the,

Who I need to be to make it happen space.

And then from there,

My how is accomplished.

My how to accomplish my vision or my goal,

It comes.

And so then maybe that is for me to move everything out of my office,

Put things into similar piles,

Throw away usable,

Unusable items like pens or notebooks or things like that that I no longer use or are not working for me.

Like,

I still have so many pens.

Like,

Why do I have so many pens?

Put only the things in that I absolutely want and rearrange and rearrange and rearrange and try things out.

And then I may go out and buy some other things that fit the vision,

Like storage items,

File cabinets,

Or some giant wall post-its.

I actually love those.

And then,

This is the fun,

Not so fun part,

Of figuring out what to do with all of the stuff that wasn't going to fit back into my office.

I started with the end in mind,

Then I chunked it down,

Then chunked it down some more and some more and some more.

So I want you to really think about one goal.

And it's the fact that we have both clear and deciding goals in many areas of our lives.

For the purpose of this learning,

I want you to think of goals as anything you desire,

From getting a glass of water to feeling better or moving out of the country or running a marathon.

I don't want you to look at your goals as too big or too small.

And I don't want you to focus on them having to be a clear goal or a deciding goal.

I want for the purpose of this learning that any of the goals that you have,

They are just the goals.

And the reason why is that if you can see wins in your everyday life,

Then you can make more wins happen.

Winning begets more winning.

You'll be able to recognize how you're creating goals,

Doing the work and achieving them easier because it will just be who you are and it'll just be the things that you do.

Thank you so much for joining me for this talk.

I am complete.