Traps We Bind Ourselves Into

Luang Por Sumedho describes how we constantly reinvent ourselves, aligning with and owning personal positions and feelings. Using wisdom in the moment, we can discern this.

Transcript

So recollecting,

Recalling,

This is the here and now,

Patjubana,

Reality,

This way of using these words,

These concepts for recollection,

For reminding,

As the practice developing the path is really this continuous remembering here and now,

Mindfulness,

Aware of the way it is in terms of the body,

The breath,

The state of mind,

Sound of silence,

These like satipatana,

Four foundations of mindfulness,

This continuous establishing this mindfulness,

Because ignorance and desire of course draws into the realms of the future wanting something we don't have,

Wanting to get rid of what we don't like,

Looking always to future for fulfillment,

For completion,

For enlightenment,

Or the future is also the possibility of failure,

Of misery,

Old age,

Sickness,

Death,

Loss,

Despair.

And the past is a memory in the present.

So yesterday,

When we start using this word yesterday,

Ask yourself what is yesterday,

Here and now,

And then remember events or experiences that happened yesterday to me,

What is that?

The reality of it in this present moment is a memory.

So seeing things as they are,

Memory is sannyā,

Put it in the sannyā-khanda,

All conditions are impermanent,

Not self.

So this is a way of reflecting and reminding,

Recollecting.

So during this retreat,

See the practice is very simple.

It's always bringing attention into the present,

Nothing to do,

Nothing to get,

Nothing to become,

But recollecting here and now,

Being aware,

Focusing on that which is here and now,

Like the posture of your body sitting,

Or the breathing of your body,

Or just observing the state of mind.

We have emotions,

We have feelings that bring us into all kinds of,

You know,

Creating moods of happiness or unhappiness.

But the awareness of happiness,

And the awareness of unhappiness,

Awareness then is what we're,

Our refuge,

Not in trying to be happy or resigning ourselves to unhappiness.

Our mindfulness doesn't have any personality,

You know,

It's not,

It's like,

You know,

In terms of quality and condition,

And good,

Bad,

Right and wrong,

It's like nothing,

It's just an imminent attentiveness that is impersonal,

And certainly if we,

Because we're developing this,

Cultivating this,

One of us to observe how we create ourselves,

And this sense of oneself as a separate physical body,

Separate personality.

The Samana form is,

You know,

It's designed to,

You know,

Help this to develop and cultivate mindfulness.

It's not supposed to be an identity,

Personal identity.

But the tendency is always to personify,

You know,

Because I'm senior monk,

You're junior monk,

And things like this,

You know,

I'm using this sense of personal identity with the position within this Vinaya structure.

And that's misusing it,

It's not,

I mean,

You can say I'm senior monk as a matter of fact,

Or I can say it in terms of sakya dithi.

It's how I actually say I am senior monk can be just stating a fact that is not stating anything,

You know,

Personal,

It's just the empty structure we're in,

Or I can say it from a position of ego.

I'm the senior monk,

You're junior.

So that means that,

You know,

I'm somehow above you and my status is very personal and identity with seniority is lost in this sakya dithi.

Siddhapattaparamasa level.

So that's where it's the wisdom to discern the difference,

You know,

We can state things matter of fact,

Or,

You know,

It's so easy to align ourselves with interpreting everything in a personal way.

Being a monk or a nun,

How many of you take this very personally and make it into your personal position and feeling and operate from attachment to that perception in a personal way?

This is for you to discern,

You know,

The difference between being a samana as a personality or just recognize this is an empty form.

The sakya is an empty form.

It's not,

It has,

You know,

It has no personality.

But it's a form,

A convention that's the Buddha,

The historical Gotama,

The Buddha establishing the Four Noble Truths teaching.

This Buddha establishes Vinaya.

So this is,

It's an expedient means,

It's not ultimate reality.

An expedient means is the convention used for awareness,

Not for identity.

And this is where you really need to develop this wisdom,

This discerning ability to know the difference between I am the senior monk or I am the senior monk.

You know,

There's,

It's a matter of just the tone of voice,

Isn't it?

A matter of fact,

According to,

You know,

Just the way it is or my personal need to establish myself as a senior personality in this community.

And that's ability to discern,

Isn't it?

To know the difference.

We say we shouldn't have any seniority whatsoever.

It should all be just total democracy.

Everybody's equal.

There's nobody senior to anybody else,

No juniors,

Monks and nuns,

All the same.

And that is,

You know,

An ideal.

It's very common these days to want to assert equality and how things should be equal.

But then in terms of discerning,

Ability to discern,

Because we have to live within forms,

You know,

Where this is the karma of being born.

We're living within our human form until it dies.

And so it's in how we relate to this form through just the conditioning,

Identifying,

Judging it completely,

You know,

Being lost in your own physical appearance,

Your own emotional habits,

Conditioning,

Attitudes,

Cultural conditioning,

Views and opinions.

Or the purpose of the Summoner Life is to reflect on that,

To liberate ourselves from the delusions we create out of attachment to conditioned phenomena through ignorance.

So this word ignorance,

Avicca,

In Patitya Samupada,

Isn't it,

We chant.

Avicca,

Vajaya,

Sankara,

Sankara,

Vajaya,

Vijnana.

And then you follow that.

If there's avicca,

Then it always ends up with soka,

Parite,

Tukha,

Tomanasa,

Upayasa,

Grief,

Sorrow,

Despair,

Anguish,

Death,

Suffering.

So avicca is the cause of suffering,

Ignorance of dhamma.

Not knowing the dhamma,

Not discerning,

But operating always from the personal habits,

The identities with the conditions,

With the position,

With the physical form.

With race,

With class,

They're all traps that we bind ourselves into and then suffer from.

Because we're binding ourselves to something that's an illusion that we create and out of ignorance,

Not out of wisdom.

So in this avicca,

Vajaya,

Sankara,

The dependent origination,

Ignorance,

If we're always operating from ignorance,

I am practicing now to become enlightened in the future.

Say this is my modus operandi.

This is where I,

When I come into this hall,

I come with this assumption that I'm somebody that has to do something to get something in the future,

Become enlightened in the future.

So that is avicca.

And then that avicca affects everything,

You know,

If I never see through that ignorance,

If that's where I always operate,

Where I come from,

Avicca,

Vajaya,

Sankara,

Sankara,

Vajaya,

Vijnana,

And then all the sankaras,

The body,

The seeing,

Hearing,

Smelling,

Tasting,

Touching,

Thinking,

Memory,

Is influenced by that avicca.

So it's,

You know,

So consciousness then is always influenced through avicca.

Avicca,

Vajaya,

Sankara,

Sankara,

Vajaya,

Vijnana.

And then it goes into nama rupa,

Salayatana,

Passavedana,

Dana upatana,

Bhava,

Jati,

Jaramaranam,

And that's the anuloma of the,

That's the,

The arising of suffering.

So this is a,

This is a meditation in itself,

Contemplating paticca samupada.

So,

You know,

In this life here,

Nama bhakti,

Trace the suffering to avicca rather than to blame,

Blame each other or blame Theravada Buddhism or blame this or blame yourself.

Even blaming yourself is avicca,

Not to mention blaming each other.

It doesn't mean that we don't offend each other or maybe,

You know,

We have personal difficulties or reactions to each other's behavior.

But is that the suffering?

Is somebody,

You know,

Somebody bullies me or speaks to me rudely?

Am I going to suffer from that?

Is that person the cause of my suffering or,

You know,

In the worldly sense it is.

Well,

That person insulted me unfairly and,

You know,

I can't live here if that person is here because he,

You know,

He makes me suffer too much.

That's one way of looking at it from sakya diti.

And that's the way the world sees everything.

That's how the world operates,

You know,

Get rid of Saddam Hussein,

Get rid of the Taliban,

Get rid of whoever,

How they want to get rid of Gordon Brown.

And so what's the good thing?

We want somebody better or get rid of the tyrant,

Get rid of the bully,

Get rid of the evil forces.

Or is it the evil forces that make us suffer or is it ignorance?

And this is the discern,

You know,

The fact,

See always evil forces out there,

You know,

God makes me paranoid and suspicious.

But in Samana practice,

It's not seeing the causes of suffering as external,

But out of ignorance,

I create suffering around what other people say to me.

So what somebody says to me is,

You know,

That's their karma,

Whatever they say.

And then I create,

You know,

I get caught in my aversion to it or my offense,

Being offended by it.

That's what I create.

That's the dukkha.

That's the avicca.

And if I don't discern that,

If I never see through it,

Then I'm always a kind of precious little thing that people have to be nice to and respect.

Otherwise,

I just fall apart when I'm criticized or misunderstood or disparaged in any way or not fully accepted or appreciated the way I think I should be.

So that's,

You know,

When you think of the self-centered result of ignorance,

It's always,

You know,

The world should respect me and be nice to me and support me.

And it should be this and should be that.

And then reflecting on just the,

I am the owner of my karma,

Heir to my karma,

Born of my karma,

Related to my karma,

Abide supported by my karma,

Whatever karma I shall do for good or for ill,

That I will be the heir.

This is a reflective,

This isn't about me as a person,

Because I am the owner of my karma,

It can be a form of sakya diti,

My karma,

That's the way I am,

Me,

Can be taken as personality or ego or justification for things,

You know,

Do something,

React badly to something,

Say something and say,

Well,

That's my karma,

Whatever happens to me,

Well,

That's my karma,

That can be sakya diti,

Or it can be just a reflective way of looking at experience.

Now,

The wisdom faculty discerns the difference,

No sakya diti as an object to let go of,

Not to perpetuate or believe in or,

You know,

Keep creating more avicca to experience more and more suffering.

I hope that,

You know,

This sense of discerning,

Intuitive discerning ability,

It's a feeling,

You know,

When I'm full of sakya diti,

It feels like this.

It's always about what I think and how I feel and it can be,

You know,

Based on facts,

On all kinds of things,

And then the society supports sakya diti.

How many of you see me as,

You know,

As a personality?

You know,

You think Ajaan Sameh is a personality,

He's this,

He's like that.

And we do it to each other.

We hit full on,

We project on to each other all kinds of things.

He's like this,

He's like that.

So discerning,

This is the,

You know,

Mindfulness path to the deathless.

This is the only way out of the trap of avicca,

Birth and death.

So avicca is the cause of suffering.

And if we don't recognize avicca,

And then in these first three fetters,

Sakya diti,

Siddhapattar,

Baramatha,

Vichikicca,

These are ways of recognizing the self,

You know,

Criticizing self,

It's not trying to annihilate self,

But recognize and discern it.

Self is like this.

I'm the senior monk here is,

Albert,

I'm the senior monk here as just the statement of conventional fact.

You know,

So it's discerning the difference,

Where the personality,

The sense of me as this individual that identifies with this position is sakya diti.

The others is merely expedient conventional use of a structure.

Samuti sakya or conventional reality.

Now the,

Some in our life,

Like these,

Some in our sannyas,

Chanting about the four requisites,

And then introduce the evening one after,

You know,

Recollecting after use and the one in the morning.

And so this is,

You know,

For those that are likely to anagarikasa will take the bhaffa chowda,

It's very important to reflect on how to use this,

This samana,

Sannyas,

Or the purpose of being a samana.

I'm a samana now,

Not a personality.

And a samana means someone,

I mean celibacy,

Refraining from engaging in any kind of sexual activity,

Intentional sexual activities,

It means living within a structure of seniority.

It means one who's given up their rights over holding money,

Property,

Position,

You know,

Social position and so forth.

You're giving up your rights to do what you want,

You know,

Be free to just say what you want and come and go as you please.

You're giving up,

You know,

You're relinquishing your rights.

We all have the right to have money,

You know,

As part of the social system here,

The society we're in,

Right to have sexual engagements,

Sexual encounters,

That's human right,

And right to have all kinds of things.

But the samana life is where we're giving up our rights.

So it's not,

You know,

It's not a tyrannical imposition,

It's a willingness to do that,

To not reinforce the personality.

So it's a moral position,

The standard of moral commitment and a matter of developing sama waja,

Sama gamanto,

Sama chiwo,

Right speech,

Right action,

Right livelihood.

So we make ourselves alms mendicants,

You know,

When you don't have money,

You don't have any,

Your own money,

You're not making any wages,

And you can't,

You know,

You're not supposed to be growing your own food or things like this,

You're kind of giving up your rights to your independent survival.

Then making yourself dependent,

Literally,

On the good heartedness,

Generosity,

Kindness from lay community.

So this is,

You know,

It sounds like madness in one way to do this,

You know,

Because you're really putting yourself out on the edge,

You know,

Where the,

You know,

Most of us have been brought up to think of,

You know,

You have to look after yourself.

Don't depend on others.

You know,

Make sure that you're independent and,

You know,

You've got your proper insurance and you've got this and you've got,

You get,

If you're unemployed and benefits or you've got a job you can take care of yourself,

Pay off your debts,

Your mortgages,

Pick and choose your relationships and on and on like this is a cultural conditioning,

You know,

Of developing a sense of independent assertion of oneself,

One's personality,

One's rights.

And just discern,

You know,

This thing is so,

I have my rights can be said in the same way,

It can be just a matter of fact or it can be,

You know,

A statement of personality.

And when we become summoners,

Then we give up our rights.

Our right is to live within the structure of the Vinaya.

We're given the right to live and operate and use the Vinaya through the Sangha's agreement.

And so the Vinaya is based on,

You know,

Structure,

It's a structure and conditioned phenomena is all about structure.

You know,

It's about big and small,

Above and below.

It's about morality and immorality.

And the morality in this way is what,

You know,

Is the basis of the Summoner Life,

Developing a sense of moral,

Of being morally responsible or taking on responsibility for action and speech,

How we relate to each other and to the environment and the world around us,

The society that we live in.

Our relationships come from the sense of moral,

Moral respect for the rights of others and respect for other people's property.

The Brahmacharya life,

The celibate life is not through a kind of fear or considering sexuality something bad or horrible or impure,

But it's giving up our personal right to engage in sexual relationships.

It's not through condemning that,

But being able to observe it,

Like discern it,

Sexual energy arises and ceases,

You know,

It comes and goes according to conditions.

And this realm that we're experiencing in this form is about sexuality.

This is a,

You know,

It's all about,

You know,

Sensual attraction and repulsion through the senses.

And the forms,

These forms,

Mammalian forms are here because of sexual engagement,

Sexual intercourse.

So this is just the way it is.

You notice in discerning that is not condemning it or judging it or criticizing.

You know,

Rather negative or unpleasant about,

We can be puritanical about sex or we can elevate it to,

It's the ultimate wonderful engagement of life with the world and we can glorify it.

We can despise it.

We can fear it or try to ignore it,

Suppress it.

Or in terms of mindfulness,

Be the knower of it.

You know,

You're not just because you take on celibate form doesn't mean you're never going to feel any kind of sexual energy anymore.

Sometimes I wish that was the case.

You know,

This is this realm is a sense realm,

Sexual realm,

Procreation,

Conditioned realm.

And then the refuge in Buddha is to discern,

To know the conditioned realm is a conditioned realm,

And that which is aware of the conditions is not conditioned.

But that has no name and no personal qualities.

It's not about seniority or position or being male or female or Buddhist,

Christian or anything else.

The power of the sense realm,

Of course,

Is relentless.

We have to live,

You know,

And so the sum of our life is to take us outside the deluded society that we're,

You know,

That we live in to get us out of the kind of marketplace and the kind of overwhelming assumptions of any society that we're living in.

Into a form such as this,

The celibate form,

Renunciate form,

Not for personal attainment or reinforcement or to be kind of holier or think we're somehow pure or better than the lay community,

Because that would be sacerdity again.

But it's an expedient means to reflect from.

I am no longer living according to worldly aims and values,

These ten damas that should be reflected upon.

Now it can be sacerdity.

I'm no longer living according to worldly aims and values.

You know,

I'm,

I'm a monk now and you,

You'd still live according to worldly aims and values,

But I don't.

That's sacerdity,

Isn't it?

Or is it a reflective discerning and reminding ourselves that all our desires,

Wanting to,

Wanting to become our fears,

Our projections onto life,

Our habits,

Our emotional reactions to experience are worldly,

Created out of ignorance.

They're sacerdity,

Tilabhatra barhmasa,

Vichikiccha.

So then we can discern them,

Know them.

Discern them they are,

What?

All conditions are impermanent,

Anicca du canata.

So this is a way of training,

You know,

This kind of continuous,

Relentless reflection on the way it is,

Because otherwise we do,

We get whirled away by the worldly aims and values.

Because we can,

As monks and nuns,

Have worldly aims and values as our,

Is what we're operating from.

Wanting to spread parivada Buddhism,

Wanting to convert others to,

To Buddhism,

Wanting to become a meditation teacher or,

You know,

To be somebody important in the Buddhist world,

Wanting to,

To have power,

Position.

Or it can be,

You know,

I want to be just a simple monk living alone and not have all the problems of community life and,

And I will,

You know,

I've had plenty of that kind of sacerdity.

Wanting to,

To get out of things that I don't particularly like personally or whatever this is,

And I can justify it rightfully,

Like the Buddha said,

Go off into the forest.

And,

And so I hear a lot Western monks doing this in Thailand.

They think they're,

They're somehow really practicing where,

You know,

They might conceive me as,

You know,

Not really practicing anymore because I'm involved in being a senior monk in Amravati and European Sangha and so forth.

So one,

You know,

One can justify almost anything one wants to do through sacerdity,

Through attachment,

Ignorance and attachment.

But this,

This form,

It is an empty form,

Benign is not about,

You know,

Seniority is being better than somebody junior or monks are better than nuns or superior or things like this or the nuns can say we're really the samanas because we're junior,

We don't have that arrogant position of bhikkhus.

And so one can look at each other through these perceptions of sacerdity through identity with,

I'm just a humble junior member of the Sangha,

Not one of those Ajans.

I used to listen to some of the monks always before they become Ajans,

Ten bosses and they used to say I'm not going to be,

I don't want to become an Ajan.

They see that as,

You know,

Taking on some kind of arrogant power position.

I'm just a humble monk being mindful in my way,

Sacerdity.

And to discern,

Discern that is like this.

We all have arrogant tendencies and pride to deal with and these are part of our human,

You know,

Experience,

Fears of what others think and worrying about what other people think of me.

Wanting to be liked and accepted and appreciated.

The fear of being rejected or despised or looked down on.

These are very human kind of reactions,

I have them.

I want people to like me as a person.

I want to be liked and I want peace and harmony in the Sangha.

I want everybody to live in a respectful and harmonious way with each other and all practicing Dhamma together for liberation.

That's what I like.

I don't like disharmony and I don't like to be criticized or misunderstood or blamed for things I haven't done.

I really don't like to be blamed for things I haven't done.

I don't even like to be blamed for the things I haven't done.

Now that's sacerdity,

Isn't it?

That's,

You know,

Discern it.

It's like this.

You know,

This whinging thing in me that says it's not fair,

I get misunderstood and for me kind of thing.

Now,

The ability to discern that.

And so in this practice,

This developing,

Cultivating mindfulness,

This discerning,

This whinging thing that goes on on a personal level.

Of course,

It's right.

People shouldn't blame me for things I haven't done.

They're wrong in doing that and I can become righteously indignant about it.

But more useful than getting on into the righteous indignation position because that sacerdity again is to be the knower.

It's like this.

Feeling hurt,

Feeling offended,

Feeling misunderstood,

Feeling disappointed,

Whatever is like this.

So,

You know,

You're kind of embracing the sense of disappointment or despair.

Not grasping it.

It's not like grasping it and being influenced by it.

It's like an embrace is more like allowing it to be what it is.

Observing the feeling of being offended,

Personally offended is like this.

And then I can kind of accept that and it falls away.

It drops into the void.

It doesn't stay if you just let it go of it.

You don't have to get rid of it.

Just leave it alone.

It's nature,

What arises ceases.

And you have these,

You know,

Real profound insights into anatta,

Non-self.

Then the samana life is also because we're dependent on alms,

You know,

Survival,

Just basic human survival,

Food,

Shelter,

Clothing and medicine.

So this is,

And then these are provided by the lay community because we can't,

We have no way of getting them on our own.

So this is,

You know,

What you're,

You're,

You know,

You're putting yourself in this position of total trust in the goodness of others.

Then the requisites are based on a low standard,

Not on a high quality standard,

Rag robes,

Alms food,

Shelter for the night.

And medicine,

Cows,

Fermented cows urine for medicine,

So that this,

This is very low standard requisites.

You know,

You say you're,

You're contemplating that these are the requisites.

But then lay people always,

You know,

Want to give you much better than that.

They don't say,

I've got,

You know,

I feel I need to have a go to the,

See the doctor today because I have some aches and pains.

Nobody's ever said,

Well,

Just drink fermented cows urine,

So that's your requisite.

In fact,

You know,

They get all upset and want me,

You know,

People send me off to private Bupa hospitals and things like this and get checked out.

But that's not my expectation.

I don't demand that or think that you should provide the very best medical treatments for me or give me the best food that you can buy or the finest shelter or,

You know,

The best kind of robes.

You know,

So,

So this,

This Samana life is,

Is,

You know,

At the bottom of the pile.

You're putting yourself right in a risky,

Right into voluntarily into a risky position.

Now what is the value of that?

Is it said,

It,

You know,

If there's some Nassan practices are cultivated you develop,

You know,

My experience over the years is a sense of gratitude.

Because the lay community in Thailand or here or anywhere have always provided the four requisites in abundance and in,

You know,

Gladly joyfully doing this to support my endeavors to to practice the Dharma.

You know,

So this is then when you really contemplate that you feel as the Guttan Yuga to wait,

You feel gratitude.

Because even in,

I've lived in very poor areas like in Thailand in rural areas where the village people are very poor,

But they even they try to give you the best they have the poor peasants in Thailand,

You know,

Wherever you go in Thailand,

No matter how poor they are,

They really try to give you their best food or help out with a robe or shelter,

Medicine.

And then here in affluent England,

Which is a non Buddhist country we get,

You know,

Quite amazing kind of almost on a luxury level of requisite.

So I mean this is,

But this is not to be taken for granted as I,

You should give me these requisites.

It's a sense of,

Because we're not supposed to go,

You know,

Bothering them and saying,

I need to,

I want a robe and I want the highest quality pure cotton from India.

I don't want one of those cheap robes.

I want only the best food,

Organic.

And you don't expect me to live in a,

In that crappy cootie do you?

I'm Ajahn Sermato.

You've got to build me up,

You know,

Something worthy of somebody in my position.

Is this,

You know,

This is this a summoner or,

You know,

Kind of arrogant,

Self centered egotist.

Well,

This is,

You know,

Sometimes we are,

We have egotistical tendencies or we don't like the requisites personally maybe we,

We don't like what we've,

You know,

What we're given.

And so it's not asking you to like everything or to be just over overwhelmingly emotionally grateful,

But it's a reflection on what the summoner is.

And this takes,

You know,

It takes thinking,

Recollecting that people,

You know,

Really lay people anywhere,

You know,

If they have faith they respect our life as summoners and they give the best they can.

And that,

To me when I reflect on that it arouses gratitude.

Now gratitude is a beautiful emotional response to life.

It's not,

You know,

I don't,

It isn't quite what I wanted.

I wanted,

You know,

This robe I wanted certain kind of cloth I didn't get it.

Well,

I guess I should be grateful for this is a kind of,

You know,

You discern the kind of self centered reaction to not getting what you want and recognizing that not to to feel you're guilty about it but to recognize the saccadities like this.

And the more you,

You're not trying to,

To have perfect the,

You know,

The kind of summoner saccadity where you're just so glad and happy and grateful for everything.

Like a Pollyanna type summoner,

Whatever happens whatever experiences you have,

Oh goody goody,

I'm so happy.

But it's,

But even our own picky own prejudice,

Critical minds we need to recognize.

They are what they are this time,

You know.

And it's like this saccadity is,

Is this sense of me and mine and what I think and feel and my rights and what I think and what I fear and all is full of this I,

Me,

Mine attitude.

And that which is aware of that is not saccadity.

So you,

You discern what saccadity is,

You know it.

And if you train yourself like this you really see it,

You know,

You know,

You know,

It's not that I never have saccadity but I know what it is.

I've been practicing a long time observing saccadity arise and cease.

And you become more skilled at recognizing rather than some forms of saccadity,

You're so convincing,

You know,

So important,

So urgent,

So me.

And that I,

You know,

I easily to be taken over by them or to refuse to be taken over by them.

And the sum of life is for this,

Giving this kind of non personal position within a structure.

And that's why when we take,

You know,

Our position in the Sangha in a personal way,

Then we've lost the plot really.

It's to be non personal.

It's for Sangha is Supatipanno,

Ujupatipanno.

One who practices in the right way,

Practices directly,

Practices insightfully.

Determinately practicing to see through the illusions of the conditioned realm.

Of course it is an ongoing challenge because in different stages of our life we have to,

Different things arise.

You know,

That you,

You know,

You say when your karma ripens.

So don't ever become kind of self-satisfying.

Now I'm beyond sexual desire,

Beyond greed and hatred.

I'm so peaceful now and I love everybody.

Beware when you start thinking like that because usually that's a sign that something,

Something's going to smack you in the face.

Kick you up on the bottom.

And so this is,

You know,

Never jump for joy when you feel you've really conquered and you know and understand everything.

But it's listening,

You know,

Listening to the inner voices.

You know,

And speaking from myself,

Listening to the righteous tyrant within.

There's this voice,

You know,

That used to be very convincing because it's always right.

It's a very rational,

Reasonable,

Critical thing in me,

You know.

It says you should,

You shouldn't.

And it's always kind of nagging on that level.

And then there's the inner child,

You know,

The emotional child.

And what about me?

And what about,

And I want and I feel and it kind of cries and whinges and worries and gets upset over little things.

And these are,

And listening to these and trying not to,

Like even calling them tyrant,

The inner tyrant or the inner child,

This is more than what they are.

Because these are our qualitative adjectives,

Aren't they?

Tyrant is always something bad in English,

Isn't it?

There's never,

There's not a good tyrant.

It's always implying something negative or inner child,

You know,

To have have childish,

Self-centered,

Whinging emotions when you're seventy five year old monk.

You know,

It's being childish.

It's embarrassing.

Or just to witness it,

It's like this.

This inner whining is like this or or this arrogant,

Righteous attitude is not called arrogant,

Righteous.

You're not just recognized like this.

All the shoulds and shouldn'ts that we can create with our rational mind.

The know it all,

How things should and shouldn't be like this.

And the actual emotional habits that one has.

Worrying what others think.

Feelings of,

You know,

Whatever inferiority of superiority of.

Resentment.

We all have resentment.

There's a lot in life to resent.

In any human lifetime,

Isn't it?

Because none of us have gotten a fair deal,

Totally fair deal out of our lives.

We've always had,

You know,

So many other things,

Things that shouldn't have been.

Teachers or.

Experience with parents or siblings or friends lost and and misunderstanding and blame.

And it shouldn't be like that.

Of course,

We remember things that happen where we were treated badly and we resent it.

This realm,

You know,

Resentment is,

You know,

Not to deny it that we shouldn't resent anything,

But to recognize it's like this.

To discern it as a resentment comes and goes according to memory.

When you're not remembering the unfairness of your past,

There's no resentment.

But we start remembering.

Then you feel that was terrible.

It should never have happened.

So this realm also see it as,

You know,

It is a survival of the fittest realm that we're living in.

We learn how to survive.

You know,

Children,

They naturally intuitively pick up how to survive in the environments that they're born into.

And then various species of animals,

Mammals and so forth,

Lobsters and crayfish all have survival mechanisms.

And then the this realm is a dangerous realm.

Everything ends in death.

You know,

The body is going to die.

We're going all that is mine,

Beloved and pleasing will become otherwise will become separated from me.

So we're going to lose everything we're attached to anyway.

And so this this realm,

When seen in this perspective,

Isn't,

You know,

It can be seen as this can sound very threatening and negative.

But it's a reflection on the way things are.

Conditioned phenomena is not,

You know,

If you if you if that's all you know and all you identify with,

Then you're bound to misery,

To loss,

To death and despair.

And so the way out of that is through mindfulness.

There is the unborn,

Uncreated,

Unformed,

Unconditioned.

Therefore,

There is escape from the born,

The created,

The formed,

The conditioned.

And that escape is mindfulness.

Simple as that.

Not me being mindful,

But being mindfulness itself,

Being this witnessing,

This being puto tamo sanko rather than trying to become anything or attain anything in meditation as some kind of personal ability or lack of it.

You know,

Some people say I haven't been meditating all these years and I haven't attained anything.

Well,

That's sakya dithi,

Isn't it?

I've been meditating 20 years and I haven't attained anything.

I don't have the jhanas,

I don't have the stages.

I haven't got anything out of it.

And I was expecting something,

But now 20 years of hard practice.

I didn't get what I wanted.

And that's sakya dithi,

Isn't it?

To put it in the category of I don't get what I want or what I expected.

If I devoted this many years to meditation,

I expected something else than what's here and now.

So that's why this inner listening ability to pay attention to this sense of I'm a really masterful meditator and I've got the jhanas and I can do this and I can get the arupa jhanas,

First,

Second,

Third,

Fourth,

Arupa jhanas.

I can walk on the air,

I can read your minds.

I'm clairvoyant,

I can remember past lives,

I'm really somebody.

It's sakya dithi,

Isn't it?

Even if you can do that,

It's still sakya dithi.

Or the other,

I've gotten nowhere,

I'm just a nobody,

Just a monk or just a nun,

You know,

Haven't really had many insights for me and have I been wasting my life?

Maybe I should disrobe because I didn't get what I was expecting to get from this life.

So this inner listening,

It's not denying or trying to convince yourself of anything but witnessing,

Observing,

Listening.

Listening to the whinging,

Self-centeredness is like this.

I mean,

I'm accepting it.

But I'm not grasping it anymore.

I'm not realizing it and ceasing.

So the tendencies towards repression or indulgence fade out.

Those innate tendencies,

If we just react,

We're indulging in the feeling or trying to suppress it,

Then we're making personal karma.

And then it always keeps coming back on us,

We keep haunting our lives until we mindfully recognize it is what it is.

All conditions are impermanent,

All dhamma is not self.

Reviews

Great explaination of sakayaditthi and how to see it as a condition arising and ceasing 🙏❤️

lovely. the audio file is catagorized as a meditation incorrectly.

Sadhu sadhu sadhu 🙏🏻

it's deep, aimed at junior monks and nuns, some of it in Pali. but I listened to it twice and learned some things.

Wonderful talk. Thank you so much

Brilliant insights and awareness, thank you so much. I gained a lot of awareness through this talk. Some of the Buddhist terms I don't yet fully understand but I'd encourage anyone to stick with this talk as the benefits are so great.

Thank you for your talk, I enjoy this communication style, 😊 a teaching memory to discern in my future here and now's🌱

Important message here,thank you

Fantastic talk. Thank you so much for sharing 🙏

Very good talk. Thank you

This talk is exactly what I need to hear and take to heart. Life is about so much more than me getting what I want and think I need. Thank you for your openness and honesty and for sharing your wisdom about life and the human condition. 🙏🏻🌺💙

So many reminders from a wise voice. 🙏🏼🌻🙏🏼

a smack from ripened karma, righteous indignation/ tyrant/child. love these talks on recognizing and accepting sakkaaditti.

Very inspiring to realize what is real

I'm truly thankful I found this talk when I did. The whole idea of awareness versus identity is something I'll be reflecting on. Thank you!

Excellent! Thank you!

Excellent! Very enlightening. Thank you!

Helpful teaching. It ends abruptly and some of the terms are not clearly defined. Content is powerful enough to overcome that.

Nice Buddhist perspectives. Thank u 🙏💝