Suchness

We point to the suchness, the 'as is' one. Being here is This Way …. as it is now. This use of language is quite new in English because usually we talk about the externals, the dualism of sensory experience and we are continuously becoming / creating ourselves. Our minds are capable of believing in an absolute all powerful god or in believing the opposite. Just sitting here we are aware when the mind stops. We begin to see how we get caught up in proliferation when we give our thoughts soil to grow in. We can also see how it is natural and refrain from putting aversion on it. Use every experience to see how it is and to contemplate it – including waiting and hoping that discomfort will end and bliss will arise in our sitting practice instead of the restlessness and doubt we may be experiencing. Being patient with whatever arises, allowing it and observing it, we are able to stop battling it. Knowing it we can let it go. We need to be sincere and honest in the practice.

Transcript

Namo tassa bhagavato arhatu samma sambhutassa Namo tassa bhagavato arhatu samma sambhutassa Namo tassa bhagavato arhatu samma sambhutassa Namo tassa bhagavato arhatu samma sambhutassa Bhutang dhammaṃ sanghakaṃ namasami The way it is,

This word,

Dhatadha,

Or what they called the,

What is it,

The dhatakadha,

The thus one,

As is one,

The way of pointing to the as is,

Suchness,

That there's nobody,

No person that is in the conventional sense of a personality,

Such one,

Or the as is one.

In other words,

This is the way it is,

This being here is this way,

As is,

It is now.

Now,

Using language in this way is kind of new,

Isn't it,

For,

In the English vocabulary,

Because English is a language that is very much talking about externals.

Our language is very much talking about the comparison,

The dualism of the sensory experience.

And language itself has that limitation,

It can only take us that this far.

And then of course we,

When we attach to words,

Concepts,

Ideas,

Images,

Symbols,

Names and forms and all that,

Then we're stuck on that level as the sensory consciousness.

We're just stuck with that,

Stuck into it,

Bound to it.

And whatever you're bound to,

Because there's no self,

Then whatever you desire and you attach,

Whatever desire is there in the mind,

You attach to it,

You become that way.

So for us life is a becoming,

All the time,

A becoming,

That which we're attached to.

And what becomes then goes to old age,

Sickness,

Death,

Grief,

Sorrow,

Despair,

Lamentation,

Soka paritava,

Duka tomana,

Rupayat.

So that all of that is conditioned,

Takes us only to despair and death.

The desire takes us there,

Fear takes us there.

It's a becoming.

And that's because of the limitation of sensory consciousness.

It can only be that way.

It's not a transcendent kind of experience.

It can only be the way it is.

It's not that it's bad or wrong or that attachment to the senses is evil.

It doesn't mean that attachment,

That's all we ever do,

Is attach to the sensory consciousness,

Is that we end up feeling frightened and despairing.

Soka paritava,

Sorrow and grief and lamentation,

Depression,

All that is the result of attachment.

And the Buddha pointed to that as a problem,

Rather than a belief in immortality or in an absolute God or absolute power.

In these conceptualizations of absolutes,

Metaphysics,

The idea is that we can imagine an absolute,

Can't we?

We can imagine a God that is absolutely all-powerful,

Ultimately real,

Pervading everywhere,

All loving,

All compassionate,

A jealous God,

An angry God.

We can imagine God being anything.

The ability to make images,

Imagine and conceive God is very common to us.

Or because of that we tend to believe that there isn't any such thing.

Which is another function of mind,

Isn't it?

To deny and negate.

Those are the two extremes.

Knowing that this negation and this affirmation are conditions of the mind.

Because that is something you can know directly.

It's not taking sides,

It's not picking or choosing,

It's noting and noticing and being aware,

Reflective,

In the way it is.

Such as this.

Now I do contemplations as is contemplations.

This is the way it is.

For example,

Sitting here looking at this shrine.

I listen to the sound of silence.

Thinking process stops.

Just sitting here reflecting,

Noting.

It has eye consciousness,

Isn't it?

I'm looking at something.

I'm not attaching to it in any way.

I don't have to call it anything.

I don't have to criticize it or compare it with other shrines or get lost in it.

Because I really like it.

It's the most absolutely fantastic shrine.

Or maybe somebody,

Maybe I'm being critical of it.

I can sit here and criticize it or praise it.

Give it all kinds of names.

Endlessly think about it.

But as I just become reflective on it,

It's just as it is.

Just that way.

Meaning that there's consciousness but there's no proliferation onto it.

It's just this way.

Then as you abide in that stillness and still your attention is on the shrine,

You can give it a name.

That's a Buddha Rupa.

Those are flowers.

That comes,

Those are the things that we put onto it,

Isn't it?

Those are the names of our language,

The sounds of our language that we say Buddha Rupa.

If you said Buddha Rupa to many English people,

They wouldn't know what that is,

Would they?

But because we're Pali scholars,

Having spent the Vasa diligently mastering the Pali language,

You now know when I say Buddha Rupa,

You know what that is.

Flowers in Pali is Pupa.

Thought of naming one of the new nuns Pupa.

Flower.

Then looking at those new flowers,

The bird of paradise reminds me of California.

That's something that memory,

Paradise flowers.

So then it reminded me of the bird of paradise flowers in my parents' garden.

Where's my parents?

It goes on like that.

So the remembrance,

Remembering,

One thing stimulates the mind and it goes on from one thing,

Associations from one thing to another.

It's just this way.

There's no name for it.

It is,

It's,

No one needn't analyze it,

Criticize it,

Compare it,

But just abide with it.

It's just the way it is.

Unless there's a condition that arises,

A situation where we need to call it something.

Now just meditating in this way,

We begin to see that our lives are still caught up in this endless proliferation.

Ideas,

Views,

Opinions,

Names and forms and loves and hates and it goes on and on and on and on the mind.

When you get angry,

When you're angry with someone,

Say somebody does something,

I feel,

How dare they do that?

And then immediately I start thinking,

And last year they did this,

That really was upsetting to me last year and the year before,

And the year before that,

Suddenly the whole associated connection,

All the bad things somebody's done,

Suddenly just your mind is overwhelmed.

You just have a total view and somebody else says,

You say,

And he did this and then he did that and then he did this and he did that and he didn't do this right and he didn't say that in the right way and I was making a problem here,

A problem there.

And then somebody says,

Well,

You know,

Remember that lovely gift you gave me last year on your birthday?

Well,

You know,

He was just.

.

.

Because the good things you don't have room for in your mind when you're angry.

You don't want to be reminded that they did anything ever any good in their lives.

You're just caught in that mode of negativity.

So that's proliferation,

Isn't it?

Your mind just sinks into and goes along in that rut.

But in an empty mind,

Suchness,

If one suddenly feels an angry thing arising in one,

You're aware of it as that's the way it is.

But you don't proliferate on it so it ceases.

You don't give it soil to grow in if the impulse is there.

But you're cool enough,

Clear enough not to plant anything in it so nothing grows.

Anger doesn't grow from there because you haven't planted anything into it.

So that impulse,

That moment of impulsive anger ceases.

It's gone.

You've not acted or said anything from that position.

So there's no karma made with it.

It's just something that has arisen and ceased,

Such as it is.

It's just that way.

So the awakened one,

The alert one,

Is just like that.

And you take the position of the Buddha always.

Isn't this like the Buddha Rupa?

We sit like Buddhas,

Don't we?

We try to sit like that.

And that's an alert,

A human being that's alert,

Awake,

Aware,

Knowing things as they are.

And when you can't,

In murals,

Representations of Buddha at his enlightenment with all the forces of Mara tempting him,

Because of the limitations of graphic art,

They have to put all these forces of Mara as external forms because they can't fit it all inside the head of the picture of Buddha.

You see?

So that,

Or in the body of the Buddha,

They can't do that.

So that they have all these demons and angels and all the whole gamut of the best to the worst and kind of forces out their tempting.

And the Buddha is such as this.

It's this suchness to the Buddha.

Nothing.

It's just this way.

Demons,

There's no name for them.

That's just the way it is.

And so that is just like something arising in the mind and it ceases,

Because it has no way it can delude the Buddha.

It's like if you suddenly feel an angry impulse,

Somebody says,

Steps on your toe with the big boots.

I come along with those big boots Venerable Pabaka gave me.

And you'll bear for a nice tip on your toe.

Crunch.

An angry thought arises in your mind.

A negative thought,

Isn't it?

You know,

I shouldn't think that.

My meditation practice isn't good enough.

If I can't,

If I get angry with Venerable Somnathapur,

Breaking my feet,

Or maybe that's a natural reaction,

Negative.

Somebody hits you or harms you in some way,

The natural result of that is negative feeling.

Feeling that's there.

But if you don't grasp that feeling,

It ceases.

It's not with physical pain.

That when you don't grasp it,

It's just as it is.

It's just,

It's not,

It's,

It's,

You can't even call it pain.

It's just the way it is.

When you start calling it pain,

Then it begins to hurt.

When you're really empty and alert,

Then,

And don't add anything,

And just the suchness of that feeling in the body,

It's just that way.

There's no aversion that one is putting onto it.

This is where to investigate,

To abide with these things,

To contemplate.

To take the pain,

The anger,

The sorrow,

The depression,

The desires,

And all this,

Use them for this reflection,

To say this is the way it is.

To really abide with it,

Bear with it,

Contemplate it.

Now with impatience,

We think,

Oh,

I think I'll try that.

Maybe I'll get rid of the pain.

Maybe I'll get rid of this.

Maybe I'll get rid of that.

I'll get rid of my anger.

I'll get rid of my fears and desires.

They do what Venerable Sumedho says.

So then you're taking what I say,

And,

But you're not really understanding what I'm saying,

Because I'm asking you to be very,

Very patient and not ask to get rid of anything.

Don't expect to get rid of things.

If you do,

Note that as a condition you're creating,

Waiting and hoping,

Doing something with the hope and expectation that it'll end,

It'll cease,

And you'll feel a lot better.

Because there's this hope and expectation that we'll come into here and sit down,

Go into a blissful state,

Just to be blissful,

A state of tranquility,

Serenity,

Of bliss.

That's what we'd like.

We'd have light and wonderful feelings of love,

Universal love,

And all that.

We'd spend an hour in just a state of loving everything.

Sometimes we come in and we find this fidgeting,

Un-dreary,

Boredom,

Weariness,

Sleepiness,

Restlessness,

Doubts.

I've been working,

Trying so hard,

Didn't I,

Captain?

So then you add to that.

I remember the insight into just mental confusion.

I never,

I always was resisting confusion,

Mental confusion,

By trying to get rid of it.

Now confusion,

What I mean by this word,

Is where many things are kind of going on at the same time,

It seems.

There's so many kinds of,

There's nothing clear,

Nothing defined or definite,

Or you know,

That you can really say this is it.

It's just a kind of collection of all different,

Many different hazy,

Fuzzy things going on.

You just feel terribly confused and you're trying to kind of sweep away this web,

Web and cloudiness.

The resistance,

Trying to make clear by getting rid of the confusion.

Then the realization that one accepts the confusion,

Just accept the total,

The totality of confusion.

It doesn't have to have any clear form.

It can be just that way,

Just confusion in a kind of big mass,

Of muddled mass like that.

Just accepting that rather than to try to figure out,

Make clear and get it all clear and analyze it and clarify it and get rid of it.

One will accept,

As is the suchness of it,

It's just this way.

Now that's that,

In that acceptance of a big mass of confusion,

It is totally,

You're aware of it,

You're not trying to get rid of it.

It's just as it is and you can just reflect on it.

Keep contemplating this way.

You can see,

You can become aware of the desire to get rid of it.

The impatience that it brings,

The aversion or the fear or whatever that might be aroused from having that in the mind.

So then you accept the whole of it,

The impatience,

The confusion.

So what you're doing in this practice is opening up to be greater than the condition.

You're embracing,

You're holding,

You're supporting,

Taking,

Allowing this condition to be as it is.

It's this way.

Whatever arises ceases.

So you're in out of this patience and acceptance because you're letting it cease.

You're allowing it to cease.

Really think about this.

This is the way out of suffering.

If you're constantly fighting with the conditions,

It's just an endless kind of warfare because one comes up and you may get rid of it and then another one comes up and then you think you've gotten rid of that and then the one that you thought you got rid of before comes back again and you fight with that and you manage to knock it down again where you think it's gone and then another one comes and then you get exhausted and you think,

I just can't meditate.

Because all you're doing is battling with conditions.

You're just creating problems and endless friction.

So what might be confusing becomes more confusing.

And just because you've maybe gotten rid of it for a moment,

It's the ostrich syndrome,

Isn't it?

Or you're looking at the blue sky rather than at the ugly mess on the floor.

Oh,

Beautiful blue sky.

Or you're standing in a mess.

But when you're concentrated on the blue sky,

You think everything is fine.

Everything is rosy.

Everything is,

Every cloud has a silver lining.

The sun is shining.

Everything is wonderful while you're standing in this muck and mire that you refuse to look at.

Some people can do that.

Other people live in absolute kind of sloppy,

Messy places and just looking at it and it was so caught up in their own views and opinions that they don't even notice that they're living in a slum.

Mentally,

Because of the lifespan of the human body,

It means that we have this span of time to reflect in this way.

You have a lifetime because how long we might live is uncertain.

But you can reflect.

We have a lifetime within this form as a human being and this allows us to reflect on existence.

We contemplate existence.

What actually exists in the moment is this way.

What there is in consciousness at this moment is what exists.

We contemplate it.

Now contemplation is that function of mind where we're noting,

Reflecting on something.

It's not analysis,

Is it?

We're not comparing and trying to find out anything about it,

Saying it's composition or it's history or any of the kind of worldly attachments to it.

But we are contemplating it.

It's like you can contemplate this Buddha Rupa.

When you open your mind to it,

It's in the mind now.

It exists.

It's just this way,

Such as it is.

We're not saying it's beautiful,

Ugly,

Good or bad.

Contemplate that it has a form and that there's a space around the form.

We're not saying space around the form is good or bad,

Beautiful or ugly either.

It's just this way.

We can be aware of attraction or repulsion towards it.

We have various habit tendencies.

One might feel attracted or repelled by it.

Or something might grab our attention,

Like those bird of paradise flowers,

The Pupas.

We start saying bird of paradise,

I've given it a name.

But actually it's just as it is.

It's not saying to me,

I'm a bird of paradise.

That's something I put onto it,

Isn't it?

The Buddha Rupa is not saying,

I am a Buddha Rupa made entirely.

It's something that I put onto it because it's as it is.

All its trees and flowers and mountains and everything is just as it is.

We're so conditioned to see these things through views and opinions,

Through perceptions of them,

That in this contemplative way we begin to get back to things just as they are.

We can still call them Buddha Rupas,

But we're no longer attaching to that and proliferating onto that.

We don't have to have names for everything or know everything about everything.

Certainly we feel quite willing to just be alert to things,

Be alert to the way it is.

So then the conditions,

The five aggregates,

Are just this way.

They're just the way they are.

They're not a person.

They arise and cease.

They're Anicca,

Dukkha,

Nata.

So the five khandhas are this way,

Such as they are,

As is.

And so so we're not creating.

There's no Sametubbiku or anyone else.

This is just the way it is.

Not creating a person out of it.

But if I start attaching to perceptions and memories and all that of me as Sametubbiku or whatever,

Then of course I can get carried away with proliferating.

I've said this khandha sitting here right now,

This way,

I can think.

And when I was ten years old,

This happened to me,

And my mother and my father,

And when I was sixteen,

And then when I was twenty-one,

And then when I left the Navy,

And then I went into university,

The whole history can go in front of my eyes.

And there's this feeling of having been some person through all that.

And then we remember the things we've done wrong,

The mistakes we've made,

The stupid things we've done and said.

But actually at this moment,

If in an empty mind,

There's no Sametubbiku as such.

Or Robert Jackman or anybody.

It's just this way.

And those memories arise and cease in the mind.

There's not a person.

A memory is not a person,

Is it?

It's just a memory has of Robert Jackman twenty-five years ago.

There's nothing,

It's just a soap bubble,

Isn't it?

There's no blood,

No nerves in a memory.

There's no skeleton.

Twenty-five years ago I had hair.

Where's the hair?

On the memory,

Hairy memory.

Twenty-five,

I had a mustache.

I remember having a mustache.

I used to wax it,

It'd curl up on the end like Salvador Dali's.

Why is that?

What happened to that mustache?

Attachment to,

Because we are attached to memory,

We often are attached to the perceptions of being somebody with a family,

Loved ones.

I reflect on my parents.

Where is my mother and father right now?

What is that?

Mother and father,

I think immediately I think of my mother.

If I say mother,

I think of,

I have the memory of what I call my mother.

The memory.

It's not my mother,

Is it?

And if she's thinking of me right now,

It's a memory of me.

When she remembers of me,

I don't remember most of what she remembers of me.

And if she described me and what she remembers to you that were possible,

You probably wouldn't recognize it as anything that you call adjunct samadhi.

It's just something else,

Isn't it?

It's a memory,

Something one remembers.

In this way of contemplating,

We begin to free ourselves from this attachment to these strong emotional perceptions.

They arouse all kinds of strong feelings.

We have so much attachment and so much habitual emotional,

Strong emotions in regards to things like mother and father,

Husband,

Wife,

Children,

Relatives,

Friends,

Loved ones.

You can make people cry when you talk about your loved ones.

Pray for our loved ones,

Our dear mother and dear father.

And you can get people very emotional.

You can go to a cinema,

You can be caught in the emotions of those people,

On those shadows on a screen.

And you don't even know them.

They're nothing to you.

They're just mere kind of a story on a film,

Shadows on the wall.

And yet,

As the hero embraces the princess,

We can feel this tremendous kind of emotion rising.

At last,

They're together,

Happy at last.

They've met.

And he's saying,

Darling,

At last,

We can be together forever.

We need never separate again.

Tears start falling out of your eyes.

And she says,

My hero.

The eyes start welling up with moisture,

Emotion.

What is that anyway?

It's all false and acted out.

If you've known any actors or actresses while they're embracing each other in these incredibly romantic lovesies,

Oftentimes they're thinking something that we wouldn't want to know about.

It's a magic show,

Isn't it?

It's all an illusion.

And if you listen to music,

You realize how emotional music is.

So much of it is just a pull on the heartstrings.

There's music and suddenly emotion starts rising up.

And that's not a personal thing.

It's just the way it is.

Emotions are like that.

There's certain sounds and all that that bring up emotions.

There's sentimental sounds and all these things that really draw on the feelings that one has.

It's a condition,

Isn't it?

We're conditioned creatures in that way.

It's not a person.

It's just the way it is.

We're conditioned to respond in that way.

We're conditioned to respond in that way,

Like the Pavlovian dogs elevating when the bell rings.

Now,

Knowing that means that we can let it go.

When we're aware of this,

We needn't be just caught in being the programmed puppet or robot that where you push the buttons and you get this response.

They have a new term.

They say pushing your buttons.

I can make you happy or miserable according to what I say.

If you're not mindful,

I can say something and you'll smile.

If I say something and you'll get angry,

How dare you?

Push your buttons.

People can take advantage of you very easily just by pushing your buttons.

So a heedless person is forever dying.

A heedless person is always in this dying state.

He's always trying to find something to get born into again and dying and then getting born again in just mental states because death is like the end of something.

So some beautiful emotion arises and then it dies in your mind.

Then you want to get it again.

The same with,

We'll apply that to the retreat here when you're trying to be reborn in that tranquil state that you enjoyed yesterday.

The memory,

It's a memory now.

So it's dead and you're trying to revive it.

You're trying to revive a corpse,

Something that's dead.

It's happened already,

But you remember it.

So you're trying to revive it,

Resuscitate it.

You sit here and you're trying to give artificial respiration to a corpse.

You just feel disappointed with it.

Memories are corpses,

Aren't they?

They're dead things.

They're all about what's happened in there.

Dead,

Robert Jackman with the Salvador Dali moustache.

It is dead.

It's a corpse.

Yesterday is dead now.

It's gone.

It's died.

Tomorrow hasn't been born yet.

So it's unknown.

And now is the knowing,

Reflecting on it,

Being alert to the,

In the now.

We're never born and never die.

Aparmado amatapadang.

Mindfulness is the way to the immortal.

Aparmado machinopadang.

Heedlessness is the way to death.

Aparmado namiyanti.

Mindfulness is never dying.

Ye pamadaya tamadaya.

Heedlessness is dying.

It's just like dying.

It's the same as dying all the time.

So people that are heedless are always in depressions,

Elations.

They're the great sufferers of life because they're heedless and they're always dying.

They're depressed,

Dying,

Death,

Meaningless,

Boredom,

Weariness,

Sadness,

Despair,

Grief,

Lamentation.

The whole garment of misery is from heedlessness.

Now you can't be mindful of yesterday,

Can you?

And you can't be mindful of tomorrow.

So where can you be mindful now,

Isn't it?

They'll be mindful tomorrow.

I'll be heedless today and mindful tomorrow.

They don't bother me with your meditation.

I'll be mindful tomorrow.

Right now let me be heedless.

Because we think of heedlessness as,

Well we wouldn't think of heedlessness,

But we think of following every impulse and doing what we want and indulging in this and denying that and so forth.

As we're so used to that,

We think that that is a lot of fun or we long to be happy.

As we're so used to that,

We think that that is a lot of fun or we long to continue in that way sometimes.

Because to be mindful means to let things die rather than to seek rebirth all the time.

To be mindful means you're letting things die away.

You're letting things end rather than running after things,

Trying to get reborn again.

And yet that the paradox is always that running after things is dying.

Running after things,

Trying to get reborn again,

Is forever dying.

And mindfulness,

Where you're letting everything die,

But with mindfulness you're letting everything die.

You're allowing it to cease and end.

And therefore there's no death.

There's only the ending of what is not self.

It's just the living in harmony with the way it is.

When you're not living in harmony,

You're always grasping,

You're trying to hold on to this and make it last longer than it should.

You're trying to get rid of that and make it and make it die before it's ready to.

And so you're always in this state of agitation,

Controlling,

Manipulating things.

And that is forever dying.

It's like dying all the time.

You're always,

It's always frustrating and irritating and despairing because you're in constant kind of frantic agitation.

So instead you're letting things die.

Right now this is as it is.

What arises ceases.

Now tomorrow,

Since you all were so good about getting up at three o'clock in the morning,

And I know you leapt out of your beds with alacrity,

So I want to encourage you to do that again tomorrow morning.

Really put forth that effort to get up three,

Not to give up,

But to let go.

Put forth that effort to get up three,

Not to give it a second thought.

Do a vow firmly in your mind to get up at three o'clock,

At least when the sound of the bell,

And the more skilled ones will get up before that.

The stupid ones will just lay there and give it a second thought or just try to ignore it.

Now this is for you to take on that responsibility.

To try your,

To be sincere in trying to live by the standard that has been established,

Just to do that,

To be obedient and surrender to it,

Rather than do things half-heartedly,

Resentfully and with resistance,

Willing to sacrifice and let go of things just to be in harmony with that,

Just to try it out,

To give it a chance,

To develop it,

To be patient with it,

Rather than to do it half-heartedly,

Resentfully,

Or not do it and just see what you can get away with,

Because it's you that have to live with yourself,

And it's the kind of mind that if you keep doing things without real earnestness and sincerity and do things just half-heartedly and resisting,

Then you're going to have to remember that.

You're going to have to bear with all that.

Then you're going to have to remember that.

You're going to have to bear with all that.

You don't have a mind that is bright and clear and alert to things and learn from life quickly.

You're going to have to learn,

Take a long time to learn things.

It's going to be very painful,

Because it takes so long.

If you're stubborn and resistant and indulgent and all that,

Then it takes so long,

Such a long time to get over it.

But the more you notice people that don't have that kind of pride or stupidity in them,

They learn very,

Very quickly.

Wisdom comes very quickly to them.

Stubbornness and pride are very great obstacles.

And don't,

If you're sleeping in the dormitories,

Don't worry about what,

If others don't do it.

Don't follow that,

The bad examples of others.

If you see,

If you see a person who's sleeping in the dormitories,

And you're sleeping in the dormitories,

And you're sleeping in the dormitories,

Don't follow that.

The bad examples of others.

If you see an anagaraka who's setting a good example,

Then follow that.

Be like that.

But if you're just following the kind of heedless,

Indulgent ones,

Notice how like the cigarette smokers all gather together.

And one monk once told me he had a cigarette,

He would like to smoke cigarettes,

And he said,

I've always admired Venerable Tsejito and Venerable Amaro,

But he said,

I can't be like them.

I hang out with the ones that smoke cigarettes.

It's still,

Still half-hearted,

Isn't it?

Feeling guilty all the time.

Remember,

You can,

You don't have to be that way.

You can not do that.

And you keep,

Keep affirming that.

One thing I found in monastic,

Like before I ordained,

I thought so many that I thought celibacy would be impossible.

I actually did.

I never could probably manage that.

I found out another problem.

I thought giving up smoking would be impossible,

Because I tried so hard before and always failed.

I found once I determined,

And I just kept going with it,

Stopping.

I kind of,

And if I started again,

Then I'd stop again.

I keep,

Keep at it by gnawing away at things till I,

Till I broke through and succeeded with it.

But if,

If not,

Then one's always been,

Just kind of always lagging behind half-heartedly on the edges,

On the fringes.

In,

In spiritual life we need to be very sincere in what we're doing,

Very honest and willing to sacrifice anything,

Everything.

Everything.

So that's a,

That's the ideal.

So then work at that with just little things.

Like now I'm emphasizing this getting up immediately at three o'clock in the morning.

So that,

That's not asking a tremendous amount,

Like total self-sacrifice and life commitment,

Not forever,

Total life commitment to,

To celibacy and monastic and padimoka discipline.

It's just,

It's what,

Just asking you to get up at three o'clock in the morning and then go to sleep without giving it a second thought.

And if you give it a second thought,

Then don't give it a third.

Reviews

Vintage Sumedho. 🙏🌞❤️🥰🙏

Commit to this.

One of my favorites for examples and reflections of impermanence.

This is NOT a meditation, but an excellent Dhamma talk. This is the first time I've really understood proliferations and what to do with them--on and off the cushion.

This is the first talk of Ajahn Sumedho that I’ve ever heard and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was an experience of being submerged into a beautiful wisdom. Thank you. I look forward to bookmarking this talk and listening to it many more times.

Very helpful & wise. Thank you!