This Shouldn't Be Happening

There's a lot of stuff happening in the world right now that may lead to the thought, "This shouldn't be happening." As brutal as it may be, what can this pandemic teach us about resistance, acceptance and surrender?

WARNING: Contains explicit language.

Transcript

Hey,

I just wanted to give you a quick heads up.

This episode of Pure Light podcast contains explicit language.

There's a lot of stuff happening in the world right now that can lead to the thought,

This should not be happening.

So as brutal as it may be,

What can this pandemic teach us about resistance and acceptance?

That's what this episode is about.

You're listening to Pure Light where we explore how you can believe in yourself and be happy with who you are.

My name is Aili.

I'm a coach,

Writer,

And yoga and meditation teacher.

This is episode 112.

So in the last episode,

I said something about how we could all probably relate to the fact that none of us want what's happening now to be happening now.

So you may have thoughts like,

Why is this happening?

This shouldn't be happening.

This is not how things are supposed to be.

And I want to point out that these are thoughts that we may have under normal circumstances in life.

So these are not just thoughts that we might have right now with everything going on.

Although right now,

The number of people having them and the frequency of those thoughts coming up may be higher than usual.

So for example,

In the context of normal life,

My sister's a teacher and she often calls me when she's on her way home from work,

Or at least she did when she was actually going to a classroom.

And she would share stories with me about what was going on.

And some of those stories would lead to me automatically being like,

That should not be happening.

Because there's a problem.

There's something that needs to be addressed,

Like some kind of structure or procedure or way of operating that isn't leading to the students and teachers and the entire system being supported in a way that honors and respects everyone's needs.

And so when that thought comes up,

This shouldn't be happening,

Or something along those lines,

It's usually an automatic reaction to the situation or the story.

So there's the thought,

This shouldn't be happening,

Or this isn't the way that things are supposed to be.

And then there's the body's reaction to that thought,

Which usually involves tension and fear and nervous energy,

Or something like that.

But as a result,

That physical reaction closes off or diminishes the body's capacity to feel,

As well as the flow of energy in the body,

Like the prana in the body,

Life force energy.

So that state is a state of resistance.

And it's being created as a result of the thoughts about the situation.

So I was feeling that state a lot a couple of weeks ago when things really started shifting dramatically and quickly,

And we were told to stay home as much as possible.

Like I was feeling pretty stressed out and starting to do things like have an extra cup of coffee every morning,

Or have a glass of wine after dinner.

And those are things that I don't do that often.

And so that was just kind of compounding what I was already feeling,

Like that anxiety,

That stress,

That nervous energy.

And then I was talking to my friend Romina,

And she shared something with me.

She was like,

My soul chose this experience.

And as soon as she said that,

I could feel the truth of that in my body.

So it's almost like my body relaxed and surrendered to the uncertainty.

And I was able to accept that this is happening in a way that I hadn't really before.

And before I go into what I mean by acceptance,

I want to say a few things.

So this situation right now,

It's fucking brutal.

It's hard.

It's going to be hard for a while.

And there are systemic structures and ways of operating that need to change and evolve to support humanity in ways that we haven't really considered before.

And so with that context in mind,

Here's what I mean by acceptance.

So acceptance doesn't mean endorsement,

Or agreement,

Or passivity.

It doesn't mean that you like what's going on in the world.

And it doesn't mean that you don't think that things need to change.

Like I said before,

I think some of the ways that we operate and some of the things that we value collectively are going to have to shift as a result of this.

So acceptance just means that you aren't opposing what's happening internally.

So you aren't adding a layer of judgment to the circumstances or events that puts you into a state of resistance.

Resistance is a state of being where you're emotionally and energetically opposing something.

So the opposite of that is acceptance of what's going on and surrender to what's going on.

Surrender to the fact that this is far beyond what each of us can individually control.

All we can do here is our best to protect ourselves and the people around us by following the recommendations.

So even if you don't believe the thing that I shared before that Romina told me,

That my soul chose this,

It's worth asking yourself,

What would I need to do or to let go of to truly surrender and accept what's happening?

And it's worth looking at your thoughts.

So rather than saying this shouldn't be happening,

Which is often an automatic reaction,

And it often creates that inner state where you're opposing what's happening,

You could say something like,

I don't want this to be happening.

I don't like this.

This is brutal.

And all I can do right now is the best that I can.

Everyone is doing the best that they can.

Because when you're in a state of resistance,

Your capacity to process your emotions is diminished because so much energy is tied up in that resistance.

So it's almost like resistance is a way of protecting you from feeling fully or from fully experiencing what's happening.

And I don't think this is something that we do intentionally.

It's something that happens when we don't give ourselves the time and space we need to process.

Because when you don't do that processing,

Old patterns come up.

So old ways of trying to cope with anxiety and fear and heightened emotions.

And that's when things like numbing and distraction and avoidance and being in a bad mood,

Being quick to get angry or getting into negative thinking spirals,

That's when that stuff happens more easily.

And being in that state leads to poorer choices.

I think that's why I started having a glass of wine after dinner every night.

Like it wasn't for enjoyment,

It was like a bit of a coping mechanism,

Which is a totally different thing.

So it's much better to actually face the thing that you're avoiding,

Meaning actually feel the feeling and experience it fully so that you can process it and let it go.

I've had to start meditating more than usual to give myself that space and time to process everything that's coming up.

Because if I don't,

I'm just going to stay in a state of resistance.

So I want to share three Eckhart Tolle quotes with you.

Acceptance of the unacceptable is the greatest source of grace in this world.

Surrender is the simple but profound wisdom of yielding rather than opposing the flow of life.

Whatever you accept completely will take you to peace,

Including the acceptance that you cannot accept that you are in resistance.

So I know that this is hard.

It's hard to accept what's going on.

But even if you can't accept what's happening,

You have the power to accept your emotional reaction to it,

Even if that is a state of resistance.

Your inner state is a reflection of what you're telling yourself about what's happening and how you're processing everything that's coming up for you.

So if you're feeling like you're in a state of resistance,

That heightened state of stress and anxiety,

Pay attention to what you're telling yourself and see if you can shift that language so that it comes from a place of non-resistance.

And also give yourself time and space to process and feel everything that's coming up for you.

If you know someone else who needs to hear this,

Please share it with them.

Thanks so much for listening.

Until next time,

May you be guided by your light.

Reviews

Applies to so many situations! Personal, individual, and our country and world these days. I am going to start by accepting my resistance 😀. Thank you.

Very inspiring, insightful + so on point now. Thank you🙏

Very good. Thank you!

Resistance versus acceptance. What a great shift in state of mind and being.🙏