Mindfulness & Movement 3: Exploring Boundaries & Push

Slow down with this guided audio track that provides body-based experiential exercises to explore expressions of pushing, or difficulty pushing, in order to explore the muscle memory that your body holds around this movement, as well as the ways you would like to cultivate new movements in your life.

If movement is not accessible to you, or you would prefer not to move along with these prompts for any reason, you can simply close your eyes and sketch out mental imagery of these movements to explore them.

This is one of several tracks in a series that explores mindfulness and movement. These were recorded for listeners to enjoy in sequential order.

This track, nor any other by this author, is intended to be a substitute for professional mental health services.

Transcript

In these few minutes that we're going to spend together,

We'll slow down with this movement of push.

This is part of the satisfaction cycle that comes from Body-Mind-Centering developed by Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen,

And this is part of a series.

So if you've not yet listened to the audio that's an introduction to these movements,

And then the audio on the wheel that comes before this one,

I invite you to pause and go back to those.

Otherwise,

We're just going to take a couple minutes to anchor in,

To get grounded.

You can take a few breaths,

Not forcing any kind of cadence or depth of breath,

Just noticing,

How does my body want to breathe right now?

If I have space to simply be and simply breathe,

What does my body want to do with that?

And then maybe just notice some of the textures around you,

Just curiously letting your fingers feel and get in touch with some of the fabric of your clothing,

Some of the fabric of your furniture,

Maybe the texture of your hair,

Or anything else that might be around you,

Whether that's the table,

Or just inviting your body to be present.

Right where you are in this moment.

If you'd like more time to settle in,

You can pause this audio.

Otherwise,

We're going to play with this movement in an embodied way.

As we talked about in the last audio,

This is a way of almost painting a picture with your body.

So rather than solely sketching out mental imagery,

And maybe you start with that,

But then letting yourself translate that mental imagery into actual embodied movement.

Now I know this might feel a little bit silly.

I invite you to let yourself be as silly as feels accessible.

And with any movement,

Of course,

Only move within your range of movement that is accessible,

That feels safe to you.

And pause the audio anytime when you would like more time to play with anything.

So push.

As a reminder,

Push is what we do as we are kind of navigating and figuring out our independence.

So as an infant,

This is something that we see when we push into the ground to crawl.

Right?

So if we have been able to yield into the ground,

We work with that to then push into the ground and then move where we would like to go.

And maybe you think about a little kid who has an aunt or uncle who's saying,

I've got your nose and playing with grabbing their nose.

And the kid really doesn't like that and pushes their arm away.

Now I'm going to say from the get go,

This one gets really complex because there are so many scenarios for when we're little and when we're adults,

That other people don't like it when we push.

Other people don't like it when we explore or exercise our autonomy,

Our independence,

Choosing separation,

Setting boundaries.

And for many of us,

We have received messages that we are not allowed to say no or we don't have permission to set certain boundaries.

And even when we maybe try to set boundaries,

They're just completely ignored,

Dismissed,

Bulldozed.

And let's start right there today.

I invite you to paint a picture with your body,

To act this out with your body,

A sense of,

Okay,

What does it look like when I am not able to push?

I don't feel like I have permission to push.

I don't feel like I have permission to say no,

Or I set boundaries and they are just completely ignored,

Completely written over.

Just letting yourself act out,

What does this look like?

Maybe you play with something symbolic,

Like holding a pillow or a bag or a blanket,

And this can represent something that you don't want to be holding,

That you don't want to be carrying,

But you feel like you can't say no.

Or maybe it's something that you set down on the ground and you say no,

You push against holding that,

Carrying that,

But then over and over again,

Someone keeps putting it back in your arms and it keeps getting placed back into your hands over and over again.

You can pause if you'd like more time to play with this.

Otherwise,

I invite you to now think about the ways and times that you are able to push against,

That you are able to say no,

To set a boundary.

One of my favorite ways to experience this in an embodied way is to press against a wall,

Really playing with that way of feeling my weight shift the more that I press against the wall,

And the more firmly that I press against the wall.

It can also be fun and playful to let your hands make contact with the ground and not only press against the earth,

But actually to strike the earth,

To assert a very strong sense of no with your body in that way.

And as you're playing with this,

Just continue to be in touch with your body,

With what's happening internally,

Noticing if anything feels overwhelming,

Or doesn't feel comfortable or safe,

And honoring what's coming up in your body.

You can pause if you would like more time here.

Otherwise,

I next invite you to play with the ways that you would like to see yourself push in your life,

The ways that you would like to say no,

That you would like to exercise your autonomy,

Independent separation,

Things that have maybe been heavily,

Heavily shamed,

Or that you've been told are bad,

Or that make you bad.

So again,

Maybe you pick up an object like a pillow or a blanket,

And you play with throwing it on the ground,

And it's staying out of your hands afterward.

Maybe you even say no,

As you throw that out or down out of your hands.

Maybe you play with pressing against pushing against the wall,

Releasing how much of your body weight you can press into that sturdy wall,

Seeing what it's like to assert different degrees of separation.

And you being the one who gets to choose that,

That choice of pushing against the wall as far back as you would like,

As firmly as you would like.

And as you're playing with this,

I invite you to be curious about how this is sitting with you.

Does this feel safe?

Do you feel like you have permission to push?

Even when it's in this contained space of play and exploration,

Does it feel like you are allowed to be doing this right now?

Or is there any part of me that has a sense of uncertainty,

Fear,

Shame,

Or that even just feels numb or disconnected or almost like flattened,

Like they can't really engage,

They can't really be present in this with you.

And if anything like that is coming up for any part of you or parts of you,

I invite you to slow down with those parts of your being,

And tune in with,

Okay,

How old do I feel when this pops up?

The sense of,

I do not have permission to sing,

Or it's not okay for me to set a boundary.

I am bad if I dare exert my independence or autonomy.

Just tuning in with,

Okay,

How old do I feel when that comes up?

And really,

Whatever age comes up,

Whether it's a young part of you,

Whether it's you right now,

Or anywhere in between,

Or everywhere in between,

I invite you to simply be with that part of you,

Be present with those parts of you.

And honor what's coming up.

And if you don't know why that's coming up,

I encourage you to simply be curious and maybe ask those parts.

Would you be willing to help me understand why you don't feel permission here,

Not in a way that's an interrogation,

But only with curiosity,

Compassion,

No judgment?

Or if you immediately have a sense of,

Oh,

I know exactly why this is coming up,

Then maybe offering a sense of,

Of course,

Of course,

You don't feel permission to sing.

Of course,

You don't feel permission to set a boundary.

Of course,

There's no space for independence or separation or autonomy.

Just really taking a few moments to be present with what you're noticing.

You can pause the audio if you would like to spend more time here.

Whether you pause or not,

I encourage you to think about setting an intention for a way and a time,

A very specific way and time that you can come back to this place and be present with what you're coming back to these parts.

So maybe right now,

You know,

Okay,

I need to go to work soon.

I need to go to bed soon.

Or I have this other commitment.

I can't stay here that long.

But this has clearly opened something up.

Thinking about how do I hold that?

And maybe even imagine these really tender spaces that have been opened up.

Maybe you imagine holding those.

Maybe you imagine someone that's really loving and caring that you trust.

Maybe you imagine them holding those things,

Knowing that you can come back to them.

Or maybe what's most helpful is to actually imagine someone holding you until you're able to come back to what's been opened up here.

And before we close,

The place I would love to land with this exploration of push is not trying to force ourselves to immediately push against things in some quote unquote correct way.

But instead to simply be curious about what does this look like in my life?

What has shaped the ways that this looks in my life?

And what are some ways that I want to explore and play with new and different movements of this,

Knowing that that is risky.

Knowing that there's inherently a risk in trying something new and different,

Especially in relationships with other people who might not understand or might not respond in ways that we would love them to.

And maybe right now there are parts of you that are saying,

Whoa,

Whoa,

Whoa,

We are not doing any new movements.

We are not going to change what we're doing in relationships.

That is not safe.

That is not an option.

And if that's where you are,

I really encourage you to honor that and to maybe simply explore what it would be like to connect with those parts of you that feel really threatened or really overwhelmed by exploring these new movements.

And rather than trying to get to a place where you do things differently,

Instead taking a step back and first seeing what would it be like to get to know these parts of me and work together.

Again,

Not jumping toward an end goal of work together to get me where I want to go,

But simply be together and work together in the everyday of life.

It's easy for us to forget that parts of us that we can view as problems or complicating our lives are really generally looking to help us.

They want the same thing that we want.

To be safe,

To be secure.

It can often go a long way to get curious about how and why these parts of us believe that certain movements or restrictions of certain movements are going to keep us safe.

You are welcome to pause the audio and spend as much time here as you'd like to before joining in for three closing breaths together.

Start with a nice deep inhale.

Exhale.

Two more.

And then you can play with how your breath can almost be pushing against.

Thank you for joining me today.

I invite you to be really mindful about how you re-engage into the rest of your day.

Really acknowledging the ways that your body was present and played with these movements.

And I hope you'll join me for the other audios in this series.