A Course in Miracles Lesson 196 It can be only myself I crucify.
It can be only myself I crucify.
When this is firmly understood and kept in full awareness,
You will not attempt to harm yourself nor will you attempt to make your body a slave to vengeance.
It can only be myself I crucify.
When this is understood,
You will not attack yourself.
You will realize that to attack another is but to attack yourself.
You will be free of the insane belief that to attack another saves yourself.
You will understand their safety is your own safety.
You will see that in their healing you are healed.
Perhaps at first you will not understand how mercy,
Limitless,
With all things held in its sure protection,
Can be found in the idea that we practice for today.
While mercy can be found in the notion,
It can be only myself I crucify.
This idea may in fact appear to be a sign,
A sign that punishment can never be escaped because the ego,
Under what it sees as threat,
Is quick to cite the truth to save its lies.
Yet,
Must the ego fail to understand the truth that it uses to justify its lies?
Yet you can learn to see these foolish applications and deny the meaning they appear to have.
Thus,
Do you also teach your mind that you are not an ego?
The ways in which the ego would distort the truth will not deceive you any longer.
You will not believe you are a body to be crucified.
You will see within today's idea the light of resurrection looking past all thoughts of crucifixion,
Looking past all thoughts of death,
And looking to thoughts of liberation,
Thoughts of life.
It can be only myself I crucify.
This idea is one step we take in leading us from bondage to the state of perfect freedom.
Let's take this step today so that we may quickly go the way salvation shows us,
Taking every step in salvation's appointed sequence as our mind relinquishes its burdens one by one.
It is not time we need for this.
It is only willingness.
For what would seem to need a thousand years can easily be done in just one instant by the grace of God.
The dreary,
Hopeless thought that you can attack others and escape yourself has nailed you to the cross.
Perhaps it seemed to be salvation,
Yet the attacks merely stood for the belief that the fear of God is real.
And what is that but hell?
Who could believe their father is their deadly enemy?
Who could believe their father is separate from them?
Who could believe their father is waiting to destroy their life and blot them from the universe?
Who could believe all this without the fear of hell upon their heart?
Such is the form of madness you believe if you accept the fearful thought that you can attack another and be free yourself.
Until this form is changed,
There is no hope until you see that this,
At least,
Must be entirely impossible.
How could there be escape?
The fear of God is real.
To anyone who thinks this thought is true,
They will not perceive its foolishness.
They will not even see that this madness is there,
So that it would be possible to question it.
It can be only myself I crucify.
To question the notion that you can attack another and be free yourself,
Its form must first be changed,
At least as much as will permit the fear of retaliation to abate,
And the responsibility returned to some extent to you.
From there,
You can at least consider if you want to go down this painful path.
Until this form shift has been accomplished,
You cannot perceive that it is only your thoughts that bring you fear.
Until this form shift has been accomplished,
You cannot perceive that your deliverance depends on you.
Our next steps will be easy if you take this step today.
From there,
We go ahead quite rapidly.
For once you understand it is impossible that you will be hurt except by your own thoughts.
If the fear of God is to disappear,
You cannot then believe that fear is caused from without.
Then,
God,
Whom you had thought to banish and be welcomed back within the holy mind,
He never left.
It can be only myself I crucify.
Ponder on this.
It can be only myself I crucify.
It is only your thoughts that bring you fear.
You understand it is impossible that you will be hurt except by your own thoughts.
It can be only myself I crucify.
Salvation's song can certainly be heard in this idea that we practice for today.
If it can only be you,
You crucify,
You cannot hurt the world.
If it can only be you,
You crucify,
You need not fear its vengeance and pursuit.
If it can only be you,
You crucify,
You do not need to hide in terror from the deadly fear of God that your projection hides behind.
The thing you dread the most is your salvation.
You are strong and it is strength you want.
You are free and glad for freedom.
You have sought to be both weak and bound because you feared your strength and freedom,
Yet salvation lies in both freedom and strength.
There is an instant in which terror seems to grip your mind so wholly that escape from fear appears quite hopeless when you realize once and for all that it is you you fear.
The mind perceives itself as split.
This split had been concealed while you believed that attack could be directed outward and then returned from outside to within.
Attack seemed to be an enemy outside you had to fear,
And thus attack became a god outside yourself.
Attack became your mortal enemy,
The source of your fear.
Now,
For an instant,
Is a murderer perceived within you,
Eager for your death,
Intent on plotting punishment for you until the time when it can kill at last.
Yet,
In this instant is the time,
As well,
In which salvation comes.
The fear of God has disappeared,
And you can call on God to save you from illusions by his love.
It can be only myself I crucify.
There is an instant in which you will call God Father and yourself his child.
Pray that this instant may be soon today.
Step back from fear and advance forward to love.
There is no thought of God that does not go with you to help you reach that instant and to go beyond it quickly,
Surely,
And forever.
When the fear of God is gone,
There are no obstacles that still remain between you and the holy peace of God.
It can be only myself I crucify.
How kind and merciful is this idea we practice.
Give it welcome as you should,
For this idea is your release.
It is indeed only you your mind can try to crucify.
Yet,
Your redemption,
Too,
Will come from you.
It can be only myself I crucify.
Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exists.
Herein lies the peace of God.
