Mindfulness & Digital Narcissism

This is a continuation of the theme of Mindfulness. In this talk, we examine how the self-absorption of the ‘selfie’ addict is a 180-degrees from true Mindfulness. Mindfulness contributes to the awakening of the foundational experience and realization, that the body I am currently using, is not actually me. Neither is the mind. I am the eternal spiritual being who is occupying the body and who should be in control of the mind.

This is a live recording. Audio quality may not be optimal.

Transcript

So continuing with the theme of mindfulness and I understand I upset a couple of people last week because I was bashing these things and yet I had one in my hand.

Sorry.

Mindfulness as we discussed last week,

The principle reason why in the yoga system they practice mindfulness was to bring about an intense awareness of my spiritual being.

We spend our whole life lost in the external world,

Lost in the bodies that we currently and temporarily are wearing,

Considering this to me my true self.

Before coming here I was speaking to a friend who was asking a little bit of guidance because he's helping a lady who has cancer to face death.

For the actual student of yoga,

The reality of life and its very temporary nature and the fact that it all comes crashing to an end,

The experience in this body is like really important and this is like,

This is real,

This is what we are all confronted with.

And if we lose the plot,

If we become so utterly sidetracked by the temporary experience of so-called life in this body,

In this world and do not seek anything higher,

Higher understanding and purpose,

Then that is considered tragic.

The yogi is considered a tremendous tragedy.

Human life is so special.

There is nothing more important than human life because it is a vehicle by which we can come to a higher understanding and appreciation.

It is a vehicle by which a person can seek liberation.

Mindfulness was meant for this purpose.

There was a primary side benefit that one got from practicing mindfulness.

That side benefit was,

When I begin to actually experience that I am the person within,

It means the things that happen to my body and mind.

There is a perspective.

This perspective is that this is not the whole deal.

Even if that vehicle sometimes acts up,

Doesn't function properly,

I am okay because I am the driver.

I don't utterly identify with this.

So the title for tonight was mindfulness and digital narcissism.

I know we are going to get some push back on this one too.

Actually,

I don't believe and accept that the selfie fascination is a manifestation of narcissism.

It may be for some,

But I think that is more a minority.

I think the majority of people are simply searching for acceptance,

Searching for to be loved,

Searching for friendship and they use this tool in a vain attempt to become loveable,

To become acceptable.

I would think most people that are taking dozens of selfies really believe that they are good looking and their life is that wonderful.

They have really got so much going on,

All they have to do is blast this out and everybody and everything will gravitate towards them.

I don't believe that to be a fact.

But it actually is the tip of an iceberg.

The majority of which remains hidden.

Many years ago one of my spiritual teachers gave a talk and the question was who controls your mind?

At first thought,

Most people think that they are in control of their mind.

It's like if I go to a really cool vegan restaurant and I've got a buffet there and I get to choose and I feel like I'm really empowered here,

I can choose what I want.

What I'm not seeing is that somebody has put all of this out and I actually can't choose what I want.

My choices are limited to what's being put in front of me.

The world of digital manipulation is utterly astonishing and frightful.

It has its roots of course with the development of consumer economics where in the early days of the PR industry as it was developed,

They boldly declared that their job was to create desire.

Their job is to create desire in people so that people will desire the products they are promoting and don't buy them.

We are seeing this played out on a level now that is unprecedented.

Where people's emptiness and their taking shelter in digital devices is having a catastrophic effect on mental health,

On happiness,

On the actual strength of individuals.

It was about maybe eight years ago that Jeff Bezos said the goal of Google was to become such an amalgamator of data that you could be driving down the road and you would get a message on your phone that says you're probably out of milk or almost out of milk.

The brand that you like is available about three blocks down on the left at this store.

And most people would think,

The way that they presented that,

Most people would think,

Oh wow,

That would be so cool.

And we don't see that behind the scene there is this desire to actually make people utterly dependent,

Not independent,

But utterly dependent and to feed you with ideas of what's good,

What's right,

What should be done,

What you need and what you desire.

So that then you go and act on that and of course they financially benefit.

It's all about financial exploitation.

Many of the things that are connected with the promotion of mindfulness unfortunately really feed into and feed off this world.

But what I would like to encourage you to consider is that if you want to find your actual happiness,

If you want to find peace,

If you want to have true shelter and feel that you have a safe space that you occupy,

Then it is completely necessary for you to engage in taking back your life,

Actually taking it back.

And to do that,

The process of meditation and of mindfulness are utterly key.

It's impossible to do it without it.

Because what we're talking about is a massive breakthrough where instead of myself being completely controlled by whatever's in my mind,

The desires,

The thoughts,

Everything that's just flowing through my mind and dragging me everywhere,

That I actually begin to decide what's going to go on up there,

What's going to be placed in there.

The program I mentioned before that we run at Oremo Remo in the prison is kind of really interesting because you've got people in this environment where they have utterly lost control of their life.

You live by somebody else's rules.

You are told when you can use,

Take a shower and when you can't,

When you sleep,

When you wake up,

When you eat.

You don't have any say.

It is utterly dehumanizing.

But it's like a little magnified reality about life if you really reflect on it.

One of the exercises I've asked them to do is to consider in your life what do you actually have control of.

You know,

We spend a lot of time complaining about things that we don't have control over.

But we wish they weren't like that.

Just a probably dumb example,

Sunrise and sunset.

If you're a kid or if you are into the outdoors and everything,

It doesn't work very well when it's dark.

If you're out having a good time and the sun starts going down,

Whenever you're engaged in,

Now you have to dive it down.

You have a late night and you want to sleep in.

Then all of a sudden,

You know,

5.

30,

6 o'clock,

It's like somebody turned on the lights and you complain.

It's just a small example.

But one of the things that we actually do have control over,

Instead of complaining about things that we don't or can't,

We can't control what somebody thinks of us.

We can't control what somebody is going to say about us.

I can control how I react to people,

How I react to things.

I can control what's going to be my priority in life.

I can control whether I'm going to be kind.

I can control whether I'm going to manifest empathy for others.

There are a myriad of things that actually lie within my control.

And if through the process of meditation and mindfulness,

I now become more focused on that which I can control and make more effort to live a good life,

A purposeful life,

A compassionate life,

A life of love,

A life of caring.

My experience of this life,

Even though it was temporary and it will come to an end,

Does not have to be miserable.

It doesn't mean I have to control everything.

But I'm going to give up being,

I mean,

Just like this horrible stuff that goes on on social media where somebody says something and somebody jumps on and attacks it and somebody attacks that person.

People behave in ways that they would not face-to-face with someone.

They say things.

They do things.

And it's destructive.

It's destructive primarily for the person who is doing it,

The person who is acting in this manner,

Who has lost control,

Who is driven simply by negative emotions and all this crappy stuff and fear and anxieties.

And now I'm acting this out.

This hurts me more than it hurts the person I may be directing some animosity towards.

But it's like we just lost the plot.

You know,

Civility and decency and care and compassion.

So when we become more focused in the way that the big lords of the digital world want you to be,

Where they tell you,

You are the most important person in the world,

Your desires are more important than anything,

You deserve more,

Go out and take it.

You know,

This type of messaging is actually horrific.

It's far more destructive than selfies.

But selfies are like a little,

Not a little,

It's quite a big red flag that's being waved.

The more you become absorbed in the idea that I will find fulfillment,

I will find acceptance,

I will become lovable,

I will find that which I'm seeking by pretending,

Just be identifying with this body so intently that this is the whole deal,

You will have a life of tremendous unhappiness.

I'm sorry.

And your death will be even more miserable than your life.

If you live a life of dignity,

Of restraint,

Of compassion,

Of caring for others,

Your life will be completely fulfilling.

And your death,

Not a big deal.

In fact,

It can become a really spectacular event.

I've had the good fortune of sitting at the bedside of people that were greatly spiritually developed.

And it's a wonderful thing,

It's inspiring to watch a person go through that journey.

We deserve more.

We are eternal,

Glorious,

Spiritual beings.

We are all lovable,

More lovable than we can imagine.

We are in fact loved.

Everything that we need,

That we seek,

Can only be really experienced by regaining this intimate experience of my true spiritual being,

Who I really am.

And that's about it.

Okay?

Too serious or what?

Or no?

This is not just a philosophical idea.

This is not just talking.

There is a profound spiritual reality connected to all of this.

And of course my great hope is that all of you who will come to this position of actual enlightenment,

Of spiritual realization and experience,

That your life will be whole and complete.

Anybody have a question?

Do you think that social media is actually a bad thing,

Or it's just simply an amplification of their insecurities like money?

Yeah,

Broadly speaking,

Technology is neutral.

It's a question of how it's used.

And unfortunately it's often being built on things that are very unhealthy and spiritually harmful.

It's kind of like we have,

You know,

In the Vedas they speak to people having like two natures.

You have your deeper,

Eternal,

Spiritual nature,

But being covered by the material energy,

We can take on this other side.

We can begin manifesting some really unpleasant qualities and characteristics.

And it is the duty of all human beings to restrain that and to become more inwardly focused on that which is actually good,

Which is really part of them not living in this other world that is very harmful and hurtful.

Unfortunately,

Because of the material condition,

We tend to gravitate towards that,

Which is more based kind of like quite easily.

And it really requires that we exercise,

We go through,

We must adopt a personal practice of meditation and mindfulness.

And that must become an increasingly bigger part of our life.

It must become our life so that we can regain control of our life and our true identity.

If we do not do that,

It's not like you're just sitting there in neutral.

You're either going forward or you're going backwards.

There is no neutral state.

And if I'm not actively engaged in reconnecting with my deeper and true spiritual being,

If I'm just being swept away by the material energy,

Then I would just be heading down a track where it's on an incline.

And it's deeper and we go faster and faster.

It starts out really slow.

But you can see how quickly people can descend into very horrible places.

I mean,

We have this epidemic of depression and unhappiness.

That's not the problem.

This is a symptom of a sickness.

The sickness is the way we are choosing to live.

We may be being misled,

But we are willingly going along.

We need to rein that in and become more focused.

And then what happens?

Technology and things,

You know,

They're all very neutral.

You can choose how to use things and what you will allow to influence you or not.

You have that choice.

That is one of the things in your control.

Do you think that it's like a particularly dangerous thing?

I mean,

You've been around for longer than I have.

Has there ever been anything that shortened people's attention span that much?

No.

I am astonished at the degradation of the human individual.

You know,

Our attention span,

The power of the mind,

It's all been shredded.

It's ridiculous.

People can't even,

You know,

I was,

We're doing a doc,

I'm working with a friend,

A documentary on criminal justice reform in New Zealand and we're at this kind of like halfway house and there's some guys there and,

You know,

The kids were coming to visit them.

And then the kids were just sitting like three of them on the sofa and every one of them is just what's in this world.

And they barely look around and they almost don't relate to anybody.

They're just going to walk in this world and you become stripped of your dignity.

You become stripped of the strength of character.

You become stripped of your capacity to communicate.

You are less likely to feel empathy for others.

You can watch all the videos in the world on creativeness.

I mean,

Somebody was saying,

Oh,

They're really artsy because they like watching a lot of YouTube videos on artistic stuff but they never pick up a pencil or a pen or a brush or a pair of scissors and actually do anything themselves.

And if they tried,

They would quickly give up.

You know,

So we're living in this world of our mind and our mind is not our best friend.

We need to reclaim that territory and decide what's going in there.

But that's the big one.

We'll stop.

Thank you very much.

Reviews

So appropriate.
I just left Facebook this week.
Namaste 🙏🏽

Very interesting talk. All that matters to an addict is the next fix 🙏🌟