Attachment & Renunciation

Attachment and renunciation are subjects interwoven with most spiritual paths. However, they can also be used as and excuse for bad (non-spiritual) behavior. In this talk, I have made quotations from the Bhagavad-gita including:

There are principles to regulate attachment and aversion pertaining to the senses and their objects. One should not come under the control of such attachment and aversion, because they are stumbling blocks on the path of self-realization. Bhagavad-gita 3.34

Transcript

Om Namo Bhagavateva Surya Vayah So tonight we have a little bit of a,

Possibly for some people,

An unusual topic on the nature of attachment and renunciation.

And what spurred this topic,

And a lot of people might be able to relate to this,

Was a question that I got from our online audience where somebody is,

They wrote,

Sometimes I see the spiritual idea of detachment used as an excuse to run away from responsibilities,

To abandon relationships,

All different types,

Or to emotionally disengage in negative and often disastrous ways.

I've seen a lot of harm done in the name of detachment.

What is real detachment,

As spoken of in the Bhagavad Gita and the Vedic teachings?

And how is it correctly utilized in a healthy spiritual life?

It's quite an interesting question.

Firstly I think we just got to deal with one point.

The claim to be following a spiritual process or adopting a more spiritual kind of life by a person doesn't necessarily make it spiritual.

We,

You know,

20 years ago you talk about yoga and it was kind of like some really esoteric thing.

Hardly anybody knew what it was.

They had some sort of limited,

Very limited idea.

But now it's become so widespread,

The introduction of Hatha yoga,

Asana practice.

And with it came a lot of other trappings and things that were connected to deeper spiritual practices.

And what we're seeing though unfortunately is a lot of people are practicing spiritual things that actually are disconnected from authentic spiritual teaching.

There is a tendency of people on the basis of some sentiment and because they like some sort of idea to sort of adopt that superficially or externally and then think that because of adopting some external thing that makes their life and what they're doing spiritual.

And that's not a very mature understanding.

Along with that comes,

You know,

People just picking up bits and pieces of ideas,

Whether it's in Buddhism or in the broader yoga principles or any other form or spiritual path.

Picking up some of those things but applying them in a very selfish way.

And what I mean by selfish,

I mean in a very self-centered way.

So for instance,

This idea people have heard that,

Okay,

Being spiritual means not being attached.

We need to reduce attachments,

Even to become very renounced about things,

Material things.

And they take that concept or idea and then they use it to manipulate others.

For instance,

If I got involved with another person and I'm in some form of relationship with them,

Then I decide to move on.

I could use the pretext of wanting to be more renounced or wanting to give up attachments as an excuse for abandoning another person or a responsibility.

It can be not just in relation to relationships but other types of things to just abandon and walk away from stuff because I want to do something else that's no longer holding my attention.

It's no longer making me so-called happy.

It's not doing it for me.

It's not turning me on.

So I want to just walk away from it.

And I do it in the guise of being renounced,

Of giving up attachments.

And in a similar manner,

I mean,

I asked this person for more specific examples.

And some of the examples that were given were still not very clear.

But I've seen it myself in situations where people have come to me and spoken to me about the idea of a person—getting a bit personal here—a person perhaps being involved in a relationship and then wandering off and having a spur-of-the-moment sexual relationship with another person.

And then when the person that meant to be in a committed relationship with objects,

The person who has wandered off and done this now starts assuming the position of teacher or guru almost,

And lecturing that person,

Your problem is that you're just overly attached and the attachment is not good.

And it's just like,

What?

You know,

That's utterly self-serving.

That has nothing to do with spiritual life.

It has nothing to do with real spirituality whatsoever.

So I can really understand where this person's sort of coming from when they ask the question,

Because I myself have seen it on numerous occasions and had to try and help people through some of this kind of difficulty.

So firstly,

I think it's really important to understand what the principles are dealing with,

The principles of renunciation,

The principles of not being attached to things and why that is problematic.

It states in the Bhagavad Gita that there are principles to regulate attachment and aversion pertaining to the senses and the objects of the senses.

So just try to grasp that one for a moment,

The sense of sight,

Smell,

Taste,

All these things.

There are objects that those senses want to dwell on to try and enjoy.

So there are principles to regulate attachment and aversion.

Attachment and aversion were considered opposite sides to the same coin.

So in relation to the example I gave earlier,

Where somebody decides they're no longer interested in being in a particular relationship with someone,

There is an immediate abandonment of any sense of duty or responsibility.

And one is just driven by their self-centered position,

Where they now think,

Yeah,

I'm not into this anymore.

This is the aversion thing.

And so what they want to do is flee from that under the guise of giving up attachments or becoming renounced.

But there is no difference between that,

When somebody renounces something on the basis of their aversion to it.

There is no difference between that and being attached to material experiences,

To the material world.

It's both the same problem.

One should not come under the control of such attachment and aversion because they are stumbling blocks on the path of self-realization.

Stumbling blocks on the path of self-realization.

What is self-realization?

It is the realization,

The awakening to the experience of being able to not only just perceive,

But to completely experience my actual spiritual being,

How I am actually not this body.

I am not this mind.

These are temporary coverings.

Stumbling means to come to the awakening of this reality,

To see that clearly.

And so why are these other things stumbling blocks?

Because attachments and aversions that we may have in this world or to things connected to this world are based on the false idea that this body I have on is me and the mind which also covers me,

The subtle body,

Is telling me,

Oh,

Do this.

Oh,

That's really cool.

Oh,

We don't like that.

Yeah,

That's not nice.

Oh,

We want this.

It's all just living out a lie,

A false idea that the material covering is the self.

And so to be absorbed in the idea of attachment and aversion,

It actually requires that we are immersed in a material state of consciousness,

Meaning that we perceive or we consider the material covering to be the self.

And so the spiritual ideal that the yogis sought to achieve or to attain was to learn to live in this world and not be profoundly affected by it in terms of feeling deep attachments or aversions.

So in another verse from the Bhagavad Gita,

It states that one who is unattached to the fruits of his own work.

So I'll just speak to that point before we go further.

Everybody is motivated to do things because they want to enjoy some result or to avoid something happening to them.

And so these are always considered the fruits of one's endeavor.

Spiritual life doesn't mean that you no longer act,

But you act with spiritual understanding.

And because of that,

One must learn not to be unduly attached to the fruits of one's work,

One's labor,

One's activity.

So one who is unattached to the fruits of his work and who works as he is obliged is in the renounced order of life.

And he is the true mystic,

Not he who lights no fire and performs no duty.

So this is an astonishing verse because part of the ancient Vedic culture was that people divided life into four what they called ashramas or spiritual orders.

The first was brahmacharya,

Which means to live as a student,

To observe celibacy,

Which means that it is not only sexual activity that one refrained from in that state,

But all types of just aggressive pursuit of material,

Sensual stimulation and enjoyment.

The next spiritual order was called grihastha,

Where one can live in a committed relationship with a partner,

Husband,

Wife,

And to live a fully spiritually directed life even within the this relationship,

This connection,

And to do it in a way that produced a spiritual outcome.

Then they had what was called vana-parastha.

In vana-parastha life,

One,

It was usually in the age of about 50 to 60 years of age,

One retired from actively working and supporting family and things and now lived a fully spiritually directed life in preparation for their impending death,

Death being the end of the road.

You know,

When we're born,

It ends with a death,

The actual leaving of the body.

And so one became very focused on that.

Then the fourth order was called sannyasa.

And sannyasa,

Or to be a complete renunciate,

It didn't mean you had to go through all these stages.

One may adopt this from a reasonably early age,

Or one may do it,

You know,

Having retired from everything else.

And a sannyasi took a perpetual vow of celibacy and renunciation.

And some of the characteristics were that they did not engage in conventional activity or responsibility.

They often traveled.

And it was considered that they had no specific duty to perform,

Unlike a person that was a brahmachari or a person that was a householder,

A grihastha.

It was a clear idea of what my duty was towards the ashram or the order in which I lived to my community,

The people around me,

My spiritual superiors.

It was always this deep sense of duty.

And one acted out of a sense of duty rather than whether it supposedly pleases me or doesn't please me,

And then I just abandon things.

So in this particular verse that we've read,

Lord Krishna is pointing out what a real sannyasi,

A jaghi,

One who is truly renounced,

What it means.

Doesn't mean one who has just given up some of the duties attached,

Like lighting no fire,

Means it was an important part of Vedic society that people would engage in what was called yajna or the performance of sacrifice and sacrificial offering.

It was the recognition of something greater than myself,

Cultured a sense of gratitude.

And it gave me a sense of where I fit within the world,

That I am not supreme.

I'm not the Lord of everything,

And that I do have a duty towards others and that there is some higher objective or purpose in life.

So as part of that,

They would perform these,

This agni hotra,

This yajna,

Where there would be the regular performance of sacrificial offering that was undertaken.

And it generally involved the ritual performance of lighting a sacrificial fire and making oblations into that fire with the chant,

Swaha.

So here it says that one who is unattached to the fruits of his work and who works as he is obliged is in the renounced order of life,

And he is the true mystic,

Not he who lights no fire and performs no duty.

So you know,

These were,

This is so clear.

Things have to go beyond the external,

That I simply externally comply with something.

There has to be this big internal shift for one to grow spiritually.

And it becomes,

It comes about as I become increasingly aware of my own spiritual identity,

But accepting that I am embodied and because I have this body on,

There is a duty attached to that.

There is a responsibility attached to that.

And I live a very spiritually directed life without giving up things that I should do out of some whim or because I have some desire for something else or because I find it distasteful.

So there is the shift away from being very self-centered and selfish to living a life that is far more balanced and purposeful,

And it produces a greater sense of well-being and actual happiness.

And of course,

There were these warnings about the nature,

What happens when you become attached to things of this world.

And a whole process was laid out to Arjuna in the second chapter of the Bhagavad Gita.

And it describes this process while contemplating the objects of the senses,

A person develops attachment for them.

So advertisers understand this perfectly well.

They know that if they can catch your attention and dangle something before you,

A concept,

A product,

Whatever before you,

And they can do it often enough in a way that is pleasing to you,

You will develop an attachment for that product or experience.

And you will be compelled eventually to want to try and enjoy it,

Which means purchasing it from it.

That's the whole drive or the principle to advertising and online marketing and whatever.

So by contemplating the objects of the senses,

A person develops attachment for them.

And from such attachment,

Lust develops.

So the reference to lust here is not,

As many people think of lust in relation to only the sexual type act.

That is one part of it.

But this actual lust is an intense self-centeredness,

This desire to have something to experience in a very intense way.

So this is always the result of an attachment.

When the attachment begins to grow and there is this constant contemplation upon it,

It will eventually turn into a quite intense desire,

Which is categorized as lust.

And from that lust,

Anger arises.

So anytime that you see the manifestation of anger,

It is generally due to this process.

And of course,

It goes on to state that from anger,

Complete delusion arises.

I mean,

Anger meaning when you lose control and you're just acting purely on emotion,

When sometimes fearfulness or aggressiveness,

It can manifest in so many different ways.

So one completely loses the plot when anger takes over.

And from delusion,

Bewilderment of memory,

When memory is bewildered,

Intelligence is lost.

When intelligence is lost,

One falls down again into the material pool.

So this was the nature of attachment and what was wrong with it.

But aversion produces a similar type of result.

So the concept of attachment and the concept of renunciation,

One was encouraged not to consider it in a superficial way,

But in a far deeper and more meaningful way.

An understanding that my development of a desire for something can easily also turn into later an aversion.

In fact,

This is what happens.

I mean,

It's astonishing that more than half of all marriages,

And at least in the Western world,

And now it's becoming more pervasive in the older cultures,

More than half of marriages end in divorce.

They start with,

There's another verse in the Bhagavad Gita,

That which in the beginning tastes like nectar and in the end becomes like poison.

They speak of a type of happiness that's born of contact between the senses and the object,

The desires of the senses.

So you see this happen,

That something can be so sweet and it's just heavenly and it's just going to be fantastic and happily ever after.

And it can quickly descend or over a period of time descend into a total aversion.

So the need to be able to be more mature and to be not so selfishly driven,

To have more compassion,

To have more purpose in one's life was absolutely essential and important.

And if a person is misusing or using these ideas of attachment and renunciation that they've sort of like just picked up casually from spiritual teachings and trying to utilize that just for their own personal benefit to cause pain to others or to use others,

This has nothing to do with real spirituality.

It is just the opposite.

Even though a person may be proclaiming that they're very spiritually developed,

If you are living out this way,

No,

That is not the case at all.

Okay.

Thank you very,

Very much for the opportunity to address you.

And of course,

We know that the thing that will bring about the self-realization that will make it so that we can see these things with much more clarity are going to be brought about by meditation upon transcendental sound.

So I'll ask you to join me in a kirtan,

The mantra that we will use is Om Hari Om.

Om Hari Om.

Om Hari Om.

Om Hari Om.

Om Hari Om.

Om Hari Om.

Om Hari Om.

Om Hari Om.

Om Hari Om.

Om Hari Om.

Om Hari Om.

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario,

Om Mario

Reviews

Thank you, this was very insightful, and just what I needed.
Very well explained too.