Safely Into Dying: Meditation Talk

A gentle meditative talk for those coming to the end of their life, and preparing to pass on.
Helpful words and considerations to help settle the mind and ease the passage from life into the realms of death. Companionable and compassionate insights to facilitate openness and release, and closing with a poem.

Trigger Warning: This practice may include references to death, dying, and the departed.

Transcript

Our thoughts and beliefs,

Like our fingerprints,

Are uniquely different,

And that difference is respected.

So this meditation obliquely expresses views which may or may not be your own,

And it's based on the idea of life being a process and a possible continuum,

Rather than something that starts and stops.

What follows is not from a religion,

But a rather loose sense and concept,

Woven with compassion,

After years of study.

Feel free to dip in and out of my guidance of this meditation as you feel to,

Maybe exploring your own thoughts and feelings,

Or simply resting a moment before rejoining.

So let's start by simply closing the eyes,

And maybe taking a few deep breaths,

Getting comfortable,

Whether you're sitting or laying,

Letting your body soften and rest more deeply into this relaxed position,

On each out-breath,

Everything settling in for a time,

That's just for you,

Making sure that where you are is safe,

That you feel safe,

You feel comfortable as can be,

And warm,

And knowing that you are safe with you,

You inside of you,

Are loved.

It may be hard to feel at times,

But it's true.

Think about all those little inner lives that have worked for you over the years,

And are still working for you right now,

This moment.

Little lives in the lungs,

The lungs taking in air to sustain you,

And expelling the toxins that could harm you.

Your heart beating the blood necessary for your life.

Your nerves sending the messages,

The messages that you need just to exist.

All of the many automatic processes,

Exquisite chemical balances,

Those incredible white warrior blood cells of the immune system that work ceaselessly to keep you as safe and well as they possibly can.

The mind,

The mind that's continually thinking,

Sorting,

Processing,

And expediting.

All your inner lives,

Your soul and spirit,

Existing in you,

With you,

Keeping you safe on this part of the journey of your life,

Right now.

This moment,

You are loved and cared for by you,

By your body and its many parts.

You are here,

Where all things are possible.

And as you meditate on all this,

Take a little of your attention and put it on your breath,

Just for a moment,

Noticing how the upper body rises and the belly goes up and down as you breathe in and out,

In and out.

Notice too,

That thoughts about things and hearing,

Sounds,

They arrive and they pass away.

Sensations in the body arise and pass away,

All as you breathe in and out.

So just leaving a little bit of your attention on the breath and breathing as a sort of anchor as we travel on this meditation journey into the safety,

Safely into dying.

So you are loved by you,

To one degree or another.

No one knows the true balance of disappointments and successes of your life.

But we do know that we're inclined to be hardest on ourselves,

Aren't we,

When we think about these things.

So let's open to that for a minute and decide to settle to that.

What's been,

Has been.

What's done is done.

And what is,

Is.

There's that lovely serenity prayer,

Isn't there?

God grant me the ability to accept those things I cannot change,

To change those things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

So what now?

Can you be open to forgiveness?

Forgiveness of yourself,

To yourself,

Forgiveness of others,

To letting go of past inadequacies and hurts.

And perhaps there's someone or something that comes to mind that you may need to attend to after this meditation.

Allowing yourself to feel the settlement,

Any resolution you've made,

Or maybe need not make.

Think now of the love you've felt from others,

A parent,

A child,

A grandparent,

A sibling,

Brother or sister,

A friend.

Bring to mind some of those loving words,

Gestures or actions,

The way their love was shown to you.

Being grateful for whatever comes to mind,

Savouring it,

Appreciating it and them.

But rather than holding onto it,

Letting it go,

You are safely held in the cobwebs of this love.

The love inside you,

The love around you,

That other you,

That guide,

That counsellor deep inside you,

Is with you.

You are safe on the inside and on the outside.

Rest in that a moment,

The journey of the physicality of youth,

To the soul and thinking of adulthood,

To the spirituality that can come with older age,

All as it was meant to be.

Acceptance of age and dying is,

Like birth,

A natural process.

And,

As with before and the birthing of new life,

The realm of afterlife is motherly,

A safe and comforting place to be welcomed and held at the end of the passage.

Preparing to go toward the end of life can be traumatic,

It can be sad,

It can be peaceful,

Or it can be rich.

Often all of these things,

In turn,

The gathering of friends and family,

Sharing the richness of your life experiences,

Is both challenging and fortifying,

Encouraging or allowing others to sit,

To simply be with,

Not to hold on to,

But to ease,

To give settlement,

Having a little normalcy of life,

Maybe some laughter,

Or perhaps a reading,

Comforting,

Uplifting,

Or religious works.

The ultimate release from this world is the journey of passing,

And release can be surrendered to and facilitated.

Many a time I've heard of a person near to passing achieving a final release when they've received that phone call they were waiting for,

Or that visitor arrives at last.

Conversely,

When a loved one simply leaves the room for a moment,

Release happens.

And inside of this natural process of release,

Other things can happen.

There have been many witnesses to loved ones who have already passed appearing to accompany.

And in some,

Places of wonder and colour are seen,

And even the warm safety of home deeply felt.

Some believe that dying is simply like going to sleep,

With all the brain processes stopped,

That there is nothing.

If you have a spiritual belief system,

Death may be easier for you to contemplate.

Going home to reconnect to loved ones,

Being in heaven with God,

Being refreshed or reborn,

Or in a resting place for a while that is simply peace.

Acceptance of life as a cycle is embedded in many cultures too.

Rather than the avoidance and fear of passing,

That is the experience of others.

But whether you believe in a heaven-like afterlife,

A return to this life again,

Or nothing,

While you breathe it is never too late to enquire and to open to what may be possible,

To open to the great mystery of the universal womb,

The process of transformation,

Growth and renewal,

Life and death.

And as you continue to notice life now,

The breath in your body as you breathe in and breathe out,

Continuing on in the wash of this meditation,

Let me read you something from the Buddhist author and teacher,

Thich Nhat Hanh,

Who used the analogy of water to explain the transformation and natural changes of life and death.

He says,

Imagine a white puffy cloud in the sky.

Later on,

When it starts to rain,

You don't necessarily see the same cloud.

It's not there.

But the real truth is that the cloud is in the rain.

It's impossible for the cloud to die.

It can become rain,

Snow,

Ice or a multitude of forms,

But a cloud cannot be nothing.

You would not cry if you knew that by looking deeply into the rain,

You would still see the cloud.

Many cultures in our world have celebrations of remembrance where past family members and friends are fettered.

Celebrated,

Honoured.

In Proverbs in the Christian Bible,

It says,

As long as we live,

They too will live,

For they are now a part of us as we remember them.

The headstone on the triple grave of my mother,

Grandfather and uncle so fittingly reads,

Remembrance,

Love's last gift.

So let's rest with the safe knowledge that the same incredible marvel that grew you at the beginning is still with you at the end of this physical life.

Death,

Like life,

Is a natural process and your system knows what to do,

Just as it knew how to grow.

So let it.

All will be as it is meant to be.

And in closing,

I'll leave you with a poem I wrote some time ago to a friend who died so well.

All is well.

Settle now.

Rest and listen.

Listen to the hum of spheres.

Surrender and let go your fears.

You're going home to be as one.

Come,

My friend.

Your time is done.

Open to the realms of love.

Let go these earthly ties and come.

We gather round to be with you.

Loved ones,

Friends and angels too.

We care for you and love you dear.

Let us guide this way most clear.

To bring you home,

Your freedom won.

All is well.

You're safe.

Well done.