What Is Mindfulness?!

Whether you're new to mindfulness or experienced you may have questions or misunderstandings about what mindfulness really is. In this talk you'll learn what mindfulness meditation is. You'll hear some helpful metaphors, get some definitions, hear some myths busted, practice an example of an experience with & without mindfulness, and learn about some of the benefits.

Transcript

Welcome to this short question mark Dharma talk about what is mindfulness.

So maybe you've been practicing mindfulness for a while or maybe you're new to mindfulness and you're just not exactly sure what it is and what it's not.

So in this talk I'll give you some metaphors,

I'll give a definition of mindfulness,

I'll talk about what it's not,

We'll together dream,

Pretend a little example of mindfulness,

I'll describe some memes for you because what's a talk without memes?

And I'll finally end with why we practice.

What talk about this thousand year old Buddhist based spiritual practice is complete without talking about a hot guy on Instagram.

So years ago when Instagram wasn't new I used to follow this guy and he was hot,

Whatever,

I would just watch him,

He would do stupid little videos just talking to the camera basically.

And then one day he posted and he looked very different.

He had some wrinkles around his eyes that I hadn't seen before,

His skin was a little splotchy,

And that my dear friends is when I learned about the thing called filters.

So mindfulness,

The practice of mindfulness is seeing that there are filters.

Even vipassana,

The word vipassana,

Which is a Pali language word,

It means seeing things as they really are.

It's waking up,

It's the realization that there's something in between you and life.

Buddha described it as breathing in,

I know I'm breathing in.

Breathing out,

I know I'm breathing out.

And my version of that is breathing in,

I experience breathing.

Breathing out,

I experience breathing out.

So you might consider times in your life when you felt fully alive,

Fully present.

Maybe sometime when you were really awestruck by nature,

Or being there for somebody when they were in great suffering,

Or even a death,

Maybe a birth.

These are just some examples of that sort of waking up feeling,

That being present.

So Jon Kabat-Zinn,

I'm going to kind of paraphrase his version of the definition of mindfulness because I really like this.

It's non-judgmentally paying attention on purpose to the present experience,

Moment by moment.

Some other ways I like to talk about it is a kind attention to the present,

Or having loving awareness.

Whenever people ask what the practice of mindfulness is like,

I always think about my mom and dad's picture window in their kitchen.

So growing up in the winters,

We would get snowed in out in the middle of the country,

And we would look out this big picture window,

And we would watch as the animals come and go.

And so you'd have,

Boom,

Boom,

Boom,

Boom,

Here comes Mr.

Buck with his antlers,

And he's coming through,

He's chomping through,

Everybody is getting scared off by him.

And then fluttering in lightly,

Beautifully,

Softly,

A beautiful bluebird,

Isn't that lovely?

And oh my God,

It's Crazy Nutsy Squirrel,

And he's all over the place.

He's here,

He's there,

He's trying to get bird feed,

He's trying to get whatever he can,

And then he's gone.

So this practicing of mindfulness reminds me of that experience of being at ease,

Sitting inside in the warmth with my little cup of coffee or whatever,

And watching as all these experiences come and go.

Awareness is,

Tara Brach describes it as two wings of awakening.

It's the clarity,

The insight,

The clearness of experience,

And then holding that,

The second wing is holding that with compassion.

So it's asking yourself,

What is happening right now,

And can I be with it?

So there's a lot of myths out there about what mindfulness is,

So I'm going to tell you what it's not.

It's not getting rid of thoughts,

It's not clearing your mind empty,

It's not mastering your emotions,

It's not putting the fist down on your emotions and being the boss of them.

It's not striving for a particular state.

So some people think of,

Oh,

If I'm going to meditate,

I'm going to transcend human experience,

Or if I'm going to meditate,

It better be relaxing.

It's not magic,

It's not going to solve all your problems in the world.

I don't think it's religion or a cult,

But maybe ask some of my followers.

And it's certainly not therapy or a replacement for therapy or medications,

But it can really help along with therapy.

All right,

So let's play pretend for a little bit.

You might like to find a different posture or take a breath in,

A breath out,

To tune in as if you were doing a meditation,

Just as this will be a really short,

Informal sort of experiment.

So imagine you're going into a new situation,

An unpredictable new situation,

Like a party a party in a place you've never been with people you've never met before,

Or a new job.

And think about maybe what emotions you might have going into this.

Maybe you're feeling anxious or nervous,

Unsure of yourself,

Or maybe you're really excited and thinking,

Oh boy,

This is going to be fun,

That sort of anticipation.

And then what thoughts might arise going into this?

Maybe some what-ifs.

Well,

What if this happens?

What if that happens?

Maybe some judgments of others.

Oh,

I can't believe he wore that.

Maybe sensations.

What are some sensations you might experience going into this?

A pounding heart.

If you're really nervous,

Pit stains.

The sweat.

If you're having a really nice time,

Maybe that warmth you feel in the heart or in the face,

The ease.

And then also,

What is your relation to the experience?

Did you notice you were having an emotion?

Did you notice you were having thoughts?

Did you notice you were having sensations?

Or was that sort of like the filter?

Was that in between you and life?

So maybe you go into this situation and someone gives you a look that you can't quite interpret.

It gets filtered through your emotions,

Your thoughts,

Your sensations,

Your lack of or very clear relation to your experience.

And then you make an interpretation of that expression.

Well,

With mindfulness,

You see insight,

Vipassana.

You see the experience.

You see and experience things as they really are.

Emotions,

Thoughts,

Sensations,

Without being controlled,

Influenced,

Manipulated by them.

So in that same situation,

You might go in and you're feeling all these things.

You're thinking all these things.

You're having sensations.

And then this person gives you an indecipherable look.

And you can see through the filters.

You see the filters are there,

But you don't let them control you.

And you see maybe this person's just nervous or unsure.

And so maybe make a new friend or a lover or a co-conspirator in the overthrow of capitalism.

So why do you want to practice mindfulness?

Mindfulness makes those filters noticeable.

It lets you see the story you're telling yourself about what is happening.

It you feel.

It lets you know what you're feeling.

It also gives you an opportunity to make kind and wise choices,

To react smart,

To react good,

To react not like a jerk.

Viktor Frankl,

Who survived this concentration camps,

Had this to say,

Between stimulus and response,

There is a space.

In that space is our power to choose our response.

And in our response lies our growth and freedom.

The more you practice mindfulness,

The more of that space you get,

More space between stimulus and response,

More freedom to choose.

It also shows you that nothing is permanent.

So just like when you're watching the animals,

Here comes angry.

Here comes anger.

Here comes frustration.

The deer,

The buck,

His antlers,

He's chomping through.

He leaves.

Okay,

That's over.

Oh,

Here comes peace and ease of the bluebird flying,

Landing gracefully and going.

And you can see and not be influenced by that.

And then here comes crazy,

Anxious,

Nutsy squirrel.

Oh,

My God,

What's going to happen?

What are we going to do?

The thoughts,

The frustrations,

The,

Oh,

My God.

You see that these things come and go.

If you don't like the weather,

In the Midwest,

There's a phrase,

If you don't like the weather,

Wait five minutes and it'll change.

And the same is true for any of our various experiences of emotion,

Thought.

The only thing that stays the same is change.

And I think that's a huge relief.

That can be such a relief.

When you're experiencing something,

You're not enjoying it.

Just know it's not here forever.

So life is unpredictable.

All humans will experience some suffering.

I mean,

We're all going to age.

We're all going to get sick or injured at some point,

Probably.

We're all going to die.

This is just the facts of life.

This is the hand we're all dealt.

So if that's the case,

Why would you want to add to that suffering by not being aware of what's happening when you can choose to do better,

Choose to live better,

Be better?

Mindfulness brings the joy of life just as it is.

It lets you enjoy the good things even more because you're able to be present with them.

So I'll end with this description of a meme.

It's one panel is a black and white depressed image.

It's a businessman.

He slumped over on the steps with his briefcase.

And it says,

Before mindfulness,

Life is suffering and then you die.

And then the bottom image is bright.

It's sunlit.

It's on a beautiful green field.

It's a guy dressed in bright colors and he's raising his arms up to the sky in celebration.

And this one says,

This is life with mindfulness.

Life is suffering and then you die.

So why do you want to practice mindfulness?

To make more good the good and to not make worse the bad.

All right.

Thanks friends.

I hope you enjoyed this.

Reviews

That’s a great talk! I have a clearer understanding on what to expect of Me when I am being mindful.
I can learn from a meme, that part was helpful. I appreciate that.!
Have a wonderful day.