Welcome to this meditation for dealing with difficult feelings.
A lot of times it feels like maybe we shouldn't be having certain feelings.
Like for whatever reason,
Maybe your family didn't display those feelings or other people in your life have an expectation of you being a certain way.
Like certain feelings are not allowed and some are.
Well this meditation,
The RAIN meditation,
Popularized by Tara Brock,
Created by Michelle McDonald is a really helpful way to go through the feeling instead of avoiding it or having different coping mechanisms or whatever.
The RAIN is Recognize,
R,
A,
Allow,
I,
Investigate,
And N,
Nurture.
So just find yourself in a comfortable position.
You might like to sit down or lay down.
Maybe you'd like to stand instead.
Should be a position that you feel like you can be in for a while that feels awake but at ease in some way.
You might start off by deepening your inhale.
Maybe letting that breath out the mouth.
Take a couple more breaths like that.
Feeling the body fill with breath and letting the breath go.
Feeling how the lungs expand and how the ribs kind of settle with the exhale.
Then start to just breathe in and out your nose in your own time.
Whatever way feels comfortable for you.
Just with the in,
Just experiencing the flow out,
Collecting your attention,
Gathering your awareness,
Bringing in some sort of kindness or gentleness to your attention.
If you came to this with an emotion in mind,
Start by recognizing that emotion,
R,
Recognize.
It might be helpful to label it by saying the name like angry,
Angry.
Try not to get too caught up in sort of like the thinking way through it,
Not intellectually going through your thesaurus and choosing,
Okay,
No,
It's actually this word.
No,
It's actually this feeling.
It's okay to be general or close to.
A is allow,
So try not to push the feeling away or turn away from it.
Let it be.
It's okay to have this feeling and allow it to be here just as it is.
Let it be as full,
As big as it is,
Or as small as it is.
You might even say you're allowed to be here or I'm allowed to feel this.
It is finding where you're experiencing the emotion in your body.
If it's anger,
Maybe it's a fiery feeling in the face.
If it's sadness,
Maybe it's a sinking in the belly.
It's heartbreak.
Maybe it's this feeling of the heart being torn to pieces or shattered.
See if you can locate where this emotion feels strongest in the body.
Stay right with it,
Feeling your way through.
Some people find it helpful to even embody this feeling in facial expression,
Like make the most dramatic cartoon character anime version of the expression of this feeling,
Or to shape your body in the posture to fully inhabit what it's like to express this feeling outwardly as well.
See if you can find where the center of that feeling is.
Where's like the heart of the feeling,
The seed of the feeling?
Where's the epicenter?
And imagine you could talk to this epicenter and say,
I know you are feeling this way,
And that's okay.
How would you like me to be with you?
How do you want me to respond to this?
We'll see what answers come up.
What is this epicenter of the feeling asking for?
Is it wanting love,
Attention,
To be seen?
Is it just wanting somebody to be with it and care for it?
Is it just wanting to know that everything is going to be okay?
So see if you can now turn towards this place and respond with care,
With kindness,
Compassion.
Respond to that need.
Maybe it's some sort of gesture,
Maybe putting a hand on your heart or bringing the hand to the face,
Caressing the cheek,
Or giving yourself a hug.
Maybe there are words like,
I hear you,
I see you,
Or this suffering matters,
Or something as simple as it's okay,
Or I'm here with you and I'm not going anywhere.
Maybe allow yourself to take in this response,
This nurturing,
Take in all the care behind the words or the gesture,
And then allow everything to settle.
Maybe just scanning to see how caught up in the emotion you are.
Maybe you still are,
And that's fine,
But maybe there's been a shift.
This is the part Tara Brock calls after the rain.
So kind of like when you go out after the rain and the grass is so fragrant or the concrete.
Really take this time to take it in.
Take in whatever shift has happened.
And come to a close with this quote from Pema Chodron.
It's very helpful to realize that the emotions we have,
The negativity and the positivity,
Are exactly what we need to be fully human,
Fully awake,
And fully alive.
