Sacred Mirror: Awakening Through Relationship

A gathering for those ready to see their relationship as a spiritual path—not just a partnership. Together, we’ll explore how love, conflict, and intimacy can become powerful teachers that reveal the unconscious, open the heart, and accelerate awakening. This isn’t about fixing your partner—it’s about waking up together. Traditionally, knowledge is shared through a Q&A format, where the disciple sets the direction and pace. Join Carly Beaulieu and Yaron to share your questions, insights, and doubts as we grow together on the path to a whole heart. Bring a friend, and together, let’s spark a movement toward collective sanity.

Transcript

So welcome,

Dear people,

How are you doing?

Another opportunity we give ourselves on the wide path to stop the rush and hold hands and walk the path together,

Not just as individuals,

But also as a united consciousness that is asking and answering itself and evolving during this dance.

And today's excuse for us to meet is the discussion of relationships and everything that hides behind that title.

So much energy,

So much charge,

So much history,

So much drama,

Isn't it?

So let's find out together what it is,

What's the mystery there.

And specifically,

If there's any issues that you feel that are unresolved and are a burden for you to walk on the path free,

Then this is the opportunity to lay them down,

Shed off this burden.

Carla is going to be doing most of the talking today,

Sounding the voice of the sincere seeker.

So who would like to be the first one to jump on this opportunity and resolve their relationship issues once and for all?

Barbara is asking,

How does the mirror that can be provided by a relationship differ from looking in the mirror at myself,

Or does it?

Good question.

That's an interesting take on a similar question we had last week in an in-person group we were hosting.

Yeah,

No,

We all heard about this idea of mirroring and using the interactions we have with other people to learn about ourselves.

And let's look at this.

It's good if you can remind yourself,

While observing yourself through other people,

That there is only one consciousness.

Let's start this observation with this realization.

It changes everything.

There's only one consciousness.

And when you're looking at yourself through somebody else,

It's just consciousness looking at itself through itself.

There are no two,

Really,

That are now negotiating ideas and judgment or whatever,

Opinions about each other.

It's only one consciousness.

So don't get too hung up about what you believe and what the other person believes.

These are just ripples.

Don't get too hung up on the ripples.

See if you can dive deeper than the ripples.

The ripples are always on the surface of the water.

Go down deeper into the water.

And there,

There is only silence.

It doesn't really matter what happens on the surface.

So it's good that we start by remembering that.

And then we can go and start dealing with the ripples.

And Barbara is asking,

What's the difference between looking at myself through somebody else versus looking at myself without mirroring?

Of course,

When we remember there's only one consciousness,

There is no difference.

But,

And there's always a but,

If we are honest and courageous,

We realize that sometimes when it's just me observing myself through my very limited and narrow perspective,

I can find blind spots that it's easy to get caught in a concept about myself and miss those blind spots.

Isn't it?

When you're caught in this identification of who am I and my strengths and my weaknesses,

And I have a whole story that I tell myself about myself.

What do I like?

What do I don't like?

What are my qualities,

Disadvantages,

Et cetera,

Et cetera.

I have a full story about that.

When it's only me observing myself,

It's very easy to just be caught in that idea about myself.

So through somebody else's eyes,

It's easier to catch those blind spots and fill them with observation,

Fill them with information.

It's not always available when it's just me looking at myself.

And when you look at yourself through somebody else's eyes,

See if you can be wide enough to embrace that reflection without reacting,

Because our reflex is to protect the image that we have about ourselves.

It doesn't matter if the image is positive or negative.

It doesn't matter if I think,

Oh,

I'm great,

And how dare you speak to me like that.

Or think about me like that.

Or I am terrible.

I'm a terrible person.

And any compliment that I receive is just,

What are you talking about?

This is complete nonsense.

I don't deserve that.

I am unworthy of that.

So see if you can be wide enough to embrace and absorb that reflection before you just reject it.

Most commonly,

The case is that reflection is threatening a self-image that I want to hold about myself.

So Barbara is saying,

So allowing ourselves to be called out by others with humility and intention to grow and develop.

Yeah.

So it's like an art student receiving feedback from the master artist on ways to grow,

Learn,

Evolve.

And there is a simple trick that you can use to help you learn and grow in that.

Observation of your own reflection.

First,

As I said,

You be wide enough to embrace that before rejecting it.

Let it sink in,

You know,

And let it sit for a minute.

Yeah,

It's not always easy or pleasant to hear that or to face that kind of reflection.

You know,

Because my self-image is in danger.

Never mind.

Let it sink in.

Let it be there.

Let it sit and ask yourself,

Is there anything for me to learn about myself through that person's observation,

The way he reacts,

The content of what he's saying?

No.

I'll give you an example.

You know,

There are two kinds of people in the world for the sake of this statement.

There are people who are emitting energy and there are people who are sucking up energy.

Of course,

Every one of us has both qualities and it changes from time to time.

But generally speaking,

There is that type of person who just,

You know,

And after an hour with this guy,

You just feel exhausted,

You know,

And just want to open the window and breathe some fresh air.

Or the opposite,

Those people that you just feel so fresh after spending some time with them.

You know,

So from the way other people react to your company,

You can learn what kind of quality do you bring to that interaction?

Do people feel elevated and fresh after spending time with you or do they feel,

Okay,

I have other things to do?

You know,

Just as the more you are tuned to sense that feedback and the more open you are to learn from that,

The easier it is for you to grow.

And another thing,

When you judge other people.

Yeah,

You have,

When you are now the reflection of other people and you come with your opinions and your ideas about them,

The reactions that you have about who they are,

What they are,

How they should behave,

What they should be believing,

Etc.

Become aware of that as well.

What kind of message are you conveying there?

And a beautiful way to use that mirroring is the capacity to learn about yourself from your judgment.

I'll give you an example.

When you say this person should learn how to behave to people who are different from them.

Okay,

I have this idea.

This person doesn't know how to behave with people who are different from them.

Okay.

Stop there.

Take that judgment.

Take the idea that you have about that person and turn it around.

Use that judgment to learn something about yourself.

How?

Instead of saying that person,

La,

La,

La,

La,

La,

La.

Now you turn it around.

Me,

I should learn about how to deal with people who are different from me.

Like 100 degrees,

180 degrees.

Instead of you,

Now it's through this judgment I learn about myself.

And again,

Don't be quick to dismiss it.

No,

No,

No,

No.

It's not about me.

It's about him.

Right.

Just let it sink.

Let it.

Percolate.

Percolate.

And see if there's a lesson for you.

Should I improve the way I experience people who are different from me,

React to people who are different from me?

It's an excellent technique that you can apply and learn about yourself through your own judgments.

There is a saying,

You cannot see purple if there is no purple in you.

So when you have judgment about whatever is happening out there,

Seize that moment to learn about yourself.

If you are completely resolved in that sense,

There will be no judgment about that in you.

Guaranteed.

So allow yourself to learn.

Learn using courage and honesty.

What do you say?

Sorab is asking how to get over some bad addictions like playing online chess or looking at content online.

When they decided not to after some time,

It keeps coming back.

So first of all,

There's a whole talk about dealing with addiction.

It's called Are You an Addict?

And so I invite you to go there and listen to that talk.

It's a full hour dedicated to that subject.

Find it on my Insight Timer page.

Are you an addict?

So we're not going to get into details about that today.

I'll just say two very short things about it.

First,

Addiction.

The definition of addiction is something that you know is not good for you,

But you cannot stop.

Doesn't matter if it's online gaming or alcohol or cigarettes or drugs or sex or whatever it is that you feel that you know that consuming more of that is not good for you,

But you cannot stop.

And that happens because for some reason you convinced yourself that whatever it is you're addicted to is bigger than you.

You're small and that is big,

Huge,

And it just consumes you.

There is nothing you actually proactively can do to stop it.

It's bigger than you,

Bigger than your own will.

You know those people who say,

I don't want to keep on drinking,

But when I see a bottle,

My hand just goes there.

It's like it's not my own hand.

It's bigger than me.

And that is never the case.

Never.

Nothing in this life is bigger than you.

You're always and always will be bigger than anything life can throw at you.

And to realize that some self-inquiry is required.

Realize how big you really are.

Then nothing would seem bigger than you when your self is realized.

What else?

Jaren is saying,

I experienced a deep connection with someone.

We suddenly realized we were to connect deeply during a short visit.

Since then,

About a month ago,

We feel each other's energy in an evolving way with half the world between us.

It is new,

Pure,

Beautiful,

And unlike anything I have experienced.

It feels for both of us like our own energy and connection to the divine grows exponentially thanks to this connection.

I wonder what your take on this is.

Like poetry.

So beautiful.

You refer to that.

Me?

Yeah.

Sounds very familiar,

Isn't it?

Yeah.

Do,

Tell.

Yeah,

I think there's something really special in recognizing that divinity.

In a relationship,

I guess over,

Over time,

You know,

The,

There's not so much novelty after a while,

You know,

In the beginning there,

There's reasons for why there's so much,

Uh,

Clouding of the,

Of the practical things,

You know,

You're,

When you're so high in the clouds with love and,

Um,

And all that,

That newness to it.

But when you can see all those beautiful words that you just wrote down right from the beginning that that comes from the divine energy and that it grows exponentially because of this connection you make with another human being,

There's almost nothing like that,

That you can experience.

You know,

People go after those highs in all kinds of other ways,

You know,

In,

Um,

You know,

Race car driving or cliff jumping or jumping out of a plane or any of the other things that people do to get high all the way down the line.

And this is probably why relationships are like the number one topic that,

You know,

You see everywhere in,

In every corner of our lives,

In the media,

And it's always a drama on TV and,

You know,

In the love songs and in the art and in the poetry,

Everywhere you look.

Right?

And there,

There is so much you can learn about yourself through another person and a,

And a deeply felt connection.

But when you,

When,

When you put it in those terms that this connection is,

Is divinity in action and you feel that there's,

There's nothing else like it.

It's,

It's truly special.

So now you ask yourself,

So how can I generate that kind of relationship to myself?

I mean,

It's not fair.

These people,

You know,

They founded,

They won the lottery,

But what about me?

And,

And I suppose the truth of it could be that you really could have that with anyone or anything like you can expand that into all facets of your life.

You know,

It doesn't have to be a special person or,

Or anything like that.

If that,

If that wasn't your jam or that wasn't somebody you found or whatever,

You,

Everybody can experience this connection with divinity in one facet or another.

And that's the point of this discussion.

You know,

If you wait for the right situation,

If you wait for the right type of relationship,

If you wait for the knight on a shiny armor that will come riding on its white horse and save you from your misery,

Believing that only then you'd be able to truly blossom and be free of whatever you think is holding you back.

I guarantee this will not happen.

There is no knight.

You are the knight.

When you look at other people trying to find through their eyes,

Some truth about yourself,

The only truth that you can truly see there is unconditional love.

And it's easy to recognize that.

It's rare,

But when you observe unconditional love through the other person's eyes,

You basically look at yourself.

It's not because they have this talent to love you unconditionally.

It's just because they are somehow able to show you who you are.

And when unconditional love is revealed as the essence of who you are,

It doesn't matter,

It's not conditioned anymore about the other person.

Do you see what I'm saying?

It's like catch-22.

As long as you keep looking and searching for the other person,

It's arbitrary and you are not free.

You are still dependent on who they are,

What do they think about you,

Etc.

But once you let go of that and find the essence,

The answer to the question in you,

Then it doesn't matter who is reflecting to you now and how they look and what they think.

Because what you were looking for is already found,

Regardless.

So it's not about keep searching until I find that one special other half of my soul out there.

It's in here.

It's in here.

When you look at other people's eyes,

See if you can look without the feverishness of lack.

Maybe you have what I need,

Maybe you have what I need,

Maybe you have what I need.

What's the name of this app that you swipe left and right?

Which one?

There's a lot.

Tinder or whatever.

Bumble.

It's based on that sense of lack.

They are making millions,

Trillions.

This is not good enough for me.

They don't have what I need,

What I need,

What I need,

What I need.

When you look at other people,

Try to remove that sense of lack and want and need and demand,

Condition,

And see how that would change the quality of your interactions.

What do you say?

Taryn says,

Thank you for your wisdom,

Very valuable.

It also makes me aware that the complexity of our relationship is actually a blessing.

It's a beautiful statement.

You know,

We talk about it when we talk about graceful relationships.

There's many,

Many discussions you can find on my page in this regard.

The complexity is embedded in that meeting of the feminine and the masculine.

These seemingly opposite energies collide.

And just to be clear,

It's not men and women.

Not necessarily.

It's the energy.

The energy.

We all have both energies in us,

For sure.

Typically,

Men have more masculine and women have more feminine,

But not necessarily.

But that dance between those opposite energies is charged.

And it's eternally complex.

So don't think,

Don't hope,

Don't wait for some kind of relationship that is just hunky-dory until you're 90 and you're dead.

It's not supposed to be like that.

It's good that there is tension.

It's embedded in the system.

Just see if you can join the dance.

You know?

Sometimes you are more masculine,

Sometimes you are more feminine.

All that is described in details in my talk,

So no need to go into that now.

Just remember,

It's a dance.

And if you want to dance,

You have to throw away your crutches.

Do you see what I'm saying?

You cannot gracefully dance when holding crutches.

So let go of everything that you use to create some false sense of stability.

And allow life to take you in this swirl.

Beautiful dance between the feminine and the masculine.

See what I'm saying?

Zhanna is saying,

Nice to be here,

Thank you for this.

Thank you for being here.

And the best way to be here is to ask your question.

Be involved.

Put yourself in the spotlight.

This is the highway to heaven.

What else?

Taryn says,

Yes,

I love that dance.

Yeah.

Hmm?

Barbara says,

Then look in the mirror again and ask,

Who am I?

Again and again and again and again and again and again and again.

We were having a conversation a couple of weeks ago about long staring in the mirror at yourself.

Yeah,

That's another beautiful practice.

I have to admit,

I've never tried that and I feel like it would be very strange.

Maybe for short periods of time,

But not longer than,

You know,

Say 20 or 30 minutes.

Probably not longer than 10 minutes or five minutes.

Take 30 minutes.

Put a mirror in front of your face.

And look with no intention other than to realize yourself.

That's it.

And use this question,

Who am I?

And every time there is a question,

An answer coming to you,

This is who I am.

You say,

Okay,

Thank you and put it aside.

Come back to the question,

Who am I?

Now that this answer is not relevant anymore,

I put it aside.

So who am I now?

Look deep into your eyes and put aside all the answers that you receive.

Until the only thing you meet is the question,

Who am I?

And there is no answer to that anymore.

Be there,

Be brave enough to be there.

Face this question without holding on to any answer.

This is a crutch.

Holding on to an answer is a crutch.

And the invitation is to throw away the crutches.

30 minutes.

Who is brave enough to try it?

Be,

Face yourself,

Literally.

With no answer to the question,

Who am I?

So Orab has another question.

Yes,

True,

But some people reciprocate,

But others just act in disrespectful manner.

Should we need to ignore them or keep our behavior same to all?

You do whatever it's necessary.

There is no should or no should not.

And the only way to know what is accurate and harmonious in a given moment to do is when that doing is a result of a resolved being.

See what I'm saying?

It's an action of unconditional love.

Unconditional love being expressed through you as an action.

That's it.

Then you know what to do.

Sometimes you embrace that person.

Sometimes you say,

Okay,

That's it.

Sometimes you reflect,

You know,

Your behavior can be very hurtful.

Sometimes you give them a punch in the face.

Rarely,

But sometimes.

So you will know what to do.

You just make sure that there is no anger,

Frustration,

Disappointment,

Judgment,

Carrying your action.

It's only unconditional love.

Yes?

Can you punch somebody in the face out of unconditional love?

Very rare,

But yes.

Yes?

No?

Sourabh says that's a very good suggestion.

So what do you think about our homework?

Who is brave enough to give it a shot?

30 minutes,

Look at the mirror,

Ask yourself,

Who am I?

Every time there is an answer coming,

Say thank you,

Put it aside,

Who am I without that?

Whatever I just put aside.

Who am I without that?

Until there is no answer anymore.

You just stay with the question.

Naked,

Exposed.

There is nothing that can define you anymore.

Parper says,

Homework for this week,

I've never done that for even 30 seconds.

Okay,

No,

25 minutes.

Start with 30 seconds.

You got a discount,

25 minutes.

I tell you,

You inevitably go to a space beyond time.

And you will not feel that 30 minutes going by.

But I'm not going to put any expectation in your head.

I'm in,

We'll do the homework and trust you both.

Good.

I admit to being extremely terrified to do this.

Barbara,

I'm with you.

You can do it.

I have full trust in you.

We can be brave together.

Time for one last question.

And another thing that is important to take from this discussion.

And apply throughout the week until we meet again.

Because in this context of relationship,

When you look at somebody else,

See if you can remove from that interaction any sense of lack and need.

Any demand,

Any expectation,

Any judgment.

And specifically lack.

See if you can remove lack.

I need you to change.

So I can be happy.

I'm not happy enough.

Sense of lack.

I don't have enough you provide.

See if you can remove that,

Even artificially.

Okay,

See if you can just artificially remove it.

See what happened to the quality of the meeting between you and the other person.

What else?

Jaron says,

I will give it a try.

I think that I have done max five minutes.

This is a big task.

Okay,

20 minutes.

You said time disappears.

Yeah,

It does.

But if you're not sure,

Put your alarm clock to ring in 20 minutes.

And don't try to do it.

Just do it.

You know what's the difference between trying and doing?

When you try to do something,

There is an embedded possible failure.

Right?

And you're already arranging your system to deal with that failure.

You can't really give 100% because some energy has to be defaulted to deal with the upcoming failure.

So don't try to do it.

Whatever it is,

Just do it 100%.

And deal with the consequences later.

Do you see the difference in quality of action when you just do it?

Yes.

So we got some new faces here tonight.

Maybe because of the different time.

Yeah.

And next Saturday will also be a different time.

It will?

When?

Probably morning.

Yeah.

Morning our time in Western North America.

Probably follow my updates and make sure that you got the time right.

Next weekend will not be happening the same time as this one.

But probably earlier in the morning.

Good.

So we have homework to do.

Now you have to be committed to do it.

You know?

Just do it.

And we can meet next week and discuss your take from your experience.

What do you say?

Yes?

Oh,

Giovanna says,

I like this time better than the morning.

Yeah,

That's the way it is.

There is always people that are more comfortable this and we cannot please everyone.

But thank you for coming.

I really appreciate that.

Thank you for your beautiful questions and your presence.

And we'll meet again next week.

Bring a friend with you and let's spread the plague of sanity around us.

Bring a friend.

Carry them forcefully if necessary.

Okay.

Oh,

That's the punch in the face.

Yeah.

Bye.

Love you.