Prefer The Present Moment Over Your Ideas And Opinions

Q&A on the path to an open heart
Traditionally, knowledge is presented in the context of a Q&A session, where the disciple is leading the path and the pace. Join us to share your questions, your insights, your doubts so we can grow together on the path to an open heart. Let's unravel what is still standing between you and an awakened consciousness. Bring a friend and lets make it a party.

Transcript

Good good so we are going to start with a short ceremony shorter than usual so just for a couple of minutes make sure that your phones won't disturb you close the door open the window sit comfortably on your seat close your eyes take a deep breath in and and the next breath in we keep in and slowly breathe out and let go and go everything that is not of use for you right now let go of the past and then all the things that already happened go of the future and all the things that may happen and allow your breath to guide you back to the present present moment whatever is happening right now make sure you're completely free of stress and contractions there's no need for stress right now make sure you are completely available embracing the presence of everyone that is currently taking a part in the circle uniting our intentions into one the intention today to develop we both I need a smile another deep breath in and when you feel comfortable you may open your eyes so good morning good evening wherever you are this unique opportunity we give ourselves every week to stop the rush take a deep breath hold hands and remind ourselves who we are and what is the most important thing for us and we do that by sharing our questions our difficulties our challenges our doubts fears wonders anything that you feel can help you grow on your path and inspire others to do the same so this is your opportunity your stage to contribute to that evolution of consciousness by not hiding behind your keyboard expose yourself be brave put yourself on the line step out of your comfort zone and let us grow together what do you say who wants to be the first one to jump to the waters today with a question AJ asks what's the role of others in our journey everything that we experience is an opportunity to learn about ourselves and people relationships is probably the most intense feedback we get from life experiencing life right because it's not just a neutral reflection it's a reflection it's an opinionated reflection so it's boom back in our face other people is a great way to learn and about ourselves and grow accordingly if we choose to if we choose to keep focusing on the most important thing for us which is if you still don't know coming closer to closer to an awakened consciousness at least here on the white path that you are currently stepping on so it's very good if other people trigger you if other people upset you if other people criticize you if other people rub you in the wrong way it's very good don't use those opportunities instead of victimizing yourself around that unpleasant sensation instead of sticking to opposing ideas you have about what they should understand and what they should do you embrace that opportunity to learn about yourself what is still unresolved why is why are you triggered why are you unable to stay open and soft because you see once you are open and soft other people is not a problem you just rejoice their presence that's it so what's the role to give you additional opportunities to spread your life and love and joy love and joy what's the problem but i know that's not what you are referring to Angie says hi Carly and Yaron the universe is smiling on me i should be at work and would would have missed you but my boss just messaged and asked me to go tomorrow night instead so i get my fix of your wisdom and knowledge nice happy to have you with us where are you from angie somewhere where is evening now scotland oh scotland only scotland i'm i'm sorry that we cannot hear your voice i love the scottish accent what else questions you're going back to ages question about people don't worry about other people you know Byron Katie i don't know if you've heard about her she's a great teacher on her path she's saying something nice she's saying you can be in three different types of areas you can be in your own area you can be in the other person's area or you can be in god's area right when you are in the other person's area trying to convince them that they are wrong and you are right trying to tell them what to do how to behave what to believe then you invite conflict and when you're in god's area you are now doing the same with god trying to convince god that you to convince god that you are right and he is wrong or she you know what should have happened you know best and god is confused right why should things be like that things should be different i know how they should be so if you find yourself in those areas of the other person area or god's area the recommendation is to go back to your area turn around go back to your area when where you are responsible you are responsible about the way you perceive life interpret life experience life experience life you are responsible if through that interaction you keep yourself open and soft or are you tensed contracted rejecting suffering that's up to you that's your responsibility so again and again go back to your own area what do you say yes i have some very interesting thoughts about that but lena is asking how to access the witness mind being with no fear and extending only love beautiful first of all these are beautiful targets to aim for to aim for how to do that it's a combination of knowledge and practice know that these are there for you being a witness being an expression of unconditional love fearless these are there available for you it's not just the fantasy you know some crazy spiritual idea that you read or you heard somebody speak of but it's got nothing to do with you and the way you conduct yourself no no these are definitely viable reachable states of being how so the fact that you know that as a concept is that as a concept is already important and then how to turn that concept into into a reality a direct experience is through practice no you again and again you meditate you do all kinds of ceremonies to remind yourself again and again who you really are what is most important to you what we're doing now is a way for you to remind yourself that exactly that right again and again seva satsang sadhana sad guru remember those four pillars keeping them alive stable in your life will help you to remember and never to forget remind everybody what those are again a state of mind of giving instead of taking seva satsang is this what we're doing now a company of people that support your growth that are transmitting in the same frequency transmitting and receiving sadhana is the practice the daily practice keep reminding yourself again keep reminding yourself again and again sad guru is the teacher that lights your path and inspires you to continue onwards forward elevate towards an awakened consciousness these four pillars use them keep them alive keep them close to your heart and then you will not forget anymore that's how you access that and when you forget and when you fall astray never mind you just remind yourself ah okay uh this is what i want this is what's most important to me i forgot but now i remember i once was blind but now i see and don't think that blindness never comes again once you wake up to see blind was blind less blindness will follow and then you will wake up again don't worry about what else uh nina says letting that sink in thank you piercing my soul andy lives by the sea she says i'm english born sorry no scottish accent yeah you you don't have the same accent as my bubby and cd nice nina says you're speaking to where she's at what are your thoughts um so yesterday i was reading so yesterday i was reading a book by katrina boss uh called what if it's a long title something about what if you don't have to eat the eyeballs or something like that i think it yeah you don't have to eat the eyeballs anyway it's a book largely about her travels um she sold everything and and left mostly she traveled around europe i think in 2018 and she went to this island where the host she was staying with they serve eyeballs i don't know whose eyeballs they are but this is a delicacy that they eat and she you know and so the book is a lot about being a people pleaser and how we fall into that role and our you know how we were raised and um what that means for us in our life and our relation to others so i'm thinking you know when you when you talk about the area of yourself and coming back to that space and then going back to aj's question about what the role of other people is in our lives those areas the lines between those areas sometimes are quite blurry you know and if we have other people in our lives where we learn about ourselves to me it seems like there's learning to be in balance so that you can interact with other people learning about yourself and being able to have that that 50-50 masculine feminine within yourself in the book yesterday when i was reading she was talking about the difference between judging other people and having an opinion about other people or other people's actions and for me i probably lean more towards being the people pleaser but in that interaction with other people i find myself i find those lines of having an opinion or having a judgment about somebody and not knowing where to take an action you know so so i think that's a big part of the book you know so so if we if we sort of lean towards being you know open and accepting and loving and compassionate but when we need to take an action or direction being more the masculine side of things i feel lost i don't i don't know where to apply the judgment when it needs to be applied or where to how to see that person so that i can still stay in balance and not lean you know too much on the side of being a doormat and too much on the side of being too harsh and you know you know pushing people away or or being too contracted with them do it if it makes sense if you want to be most useful as reflecting to other people who they are how do how are they being perceived and experienced in a context of a relationship context of relationship if you want to do it in the clearest honest most open fashion my recommendation is to clean away any opinion or preconception you have about them that's the nature of unconditional love that's the way as a spiritual master is reflecting you that's why that relationship is so unique when you have a relationship with a spiritual master you only see who you are as you are and and that is being loved in the eyes of the master you can only find unconditional love no judgment no expectations no manipulations no need or want what can the master want from me unless it's a it's a imposter it's not a real spiritual master so if you want to be that clear reflection my recommendation is shed off all your ideas about that person that you're currently having a relationship with and what he should know know and what he should understand and what he should do and realize and who should he be well because you have an opinion about no your reflection will be accurate and clear crystal clear when you let go of your opinions about that person or at least for a moment prefer an open heart and a open heart and a willing soul over your opinions and then how that translates into action is just an expression of unconditional love don't worry about it you see what i'm saying there's no room for confusion when you just follow your love confusion starts when fear is involved am i supposed to do that am i supposed to say that i'm not sure how it will be perceived maybe it's not my place and you know maybe he will think ill of me and judge me for stating whatever and all this drama starts you know me me what about me what will happen to me what will happen to this relationship fear fear fear fear fear that's the opposite of love so if love sings through you there is no fear you just do the right thing that's it and how do you know if you're acting out of fear and not out of love you are you feel that contraction physically in your body you can feel that there is something blocking you you're not right so follow your heart it will tell you exactly what to do when to do it how to do it don't worry about don't worry about the how you just make sure you prefer your open heart over your opinions that's it what else Barbara gave a summary of the four pillows Jen said isn't people pleasing in itself judgment i think you are better than me or i'm better than you yeah definitely an act of ego who am i as opposed to who you are you know trying to understand compare myself to others to know who i am right i look at someone wow he's so big he's so beautiful i wish i would be like him or i look downwards oh look at this guy i pity him thank god i'm not him that's how you create your own self image as relative to others but you don't need to create self image if you know yourself right otherwise if you know who you are why would you need an image think about it you need an image because the substance is not clear so you need to compare it to something else to have a reference but when there is knowledge direct knowledge of who you are then the image is futile what's the point of having an image if you know the substance you see what i'm saying say well nina says i will have to read this book my husband and our three boys are my greatest teachers had a vision of divine masculine and feminine dancing i remind myself everyone is here to do their own work yeah so aj is asking the notion of unconditional love is often polluted by the notion of human love they are quite different can you please talk to that beyond the conditionality of love when you say human love and i think you refer to egoistic love human love is not disconnected from unconditional love it's just another expression of it but when ego is involved love is contaminated it's not unconditional anymore because ego is all about me me what about me what will i gain out of it what will i lose out of it there is that illusion of a separated self that needs to be protected from the pain that life can inflict and will inflict so that drama begins you know all this manipulation that we do through relationships to make sure that we are protected to make sure that the love we give is equal to the love that we receive otherwise we are going make sure that the love we give is equal to the love that we receive otherwise we are going to be overdrafted so unconditional love is it's just a a way we blossom just growing beyond that existential sense of lack of need of being disconnected and as we mature into that realization that life and me are not different are not two different are not two separated entities that are currently obsessively negotiate with each other but we are one one organism an extension i am an extension of life and life is bounty life is unlimited unconditional and so is my love and it's not even mine anymore not my love that i am graceful enough to give you know it's not about that at all it's just that flow that goes through me and it's very humane it's very human it's not as opposed to being human it's your nature as a human being what to do to come closer to that if you want to be if you truly want to be an expression of unconditional love the only thing you need to do is drop conditions if you want to be the only thing you need to do is drop conditions drop your conditions prefer the present moment over the ideas you have about what should happen so you can love it these are just ideas do you see opinions about what's good what's bad what's preferred preferable preferable what's what should be avoided these are just ideas egoistic ideas that try to arrange reality so it will be more convenient for you to experience that's not how an awakened mind thinks you see that open yourself become available to experience reality as it happens when it's happening that's it and love that that's unconditional love it's not complicated okay so i have another thought but lynn says how to how to deal with the inner critic with an open heart or is it part of the ego the inner critic the inner critic yeah that's a skill you know everything that goes through our mind emotions sensations thoughts opinions as you grow as you become stronger observer you realize that these phenomena has no power they have no power it's just a thought it's just a it's like an itch on your nose you know you can choose if you want to scratch your nose or ignore it anyway it will be it will disappear in a second when doesn't it disappear when you are rejecting it right if you have an itch on your nose and you focused on that it goes and goes it feel like your whole face is burning isn't it and if you're not going to scratch it your nose is going to fall off but if you just think about something else it will just go right so if you see if you resist it it will insist what you resist persists all right if there is a thought in your head and you try to chase it away it will grow anything you resist will grow anything you put your focus on grows now your attention is like a flashlight you put your attention on that that is clear and that grows so the more skilled you are to realize that those phenomena has no power it's just a constant flow of events of phenomena one of them can be a judgmental idea about yourself so what most of these thoughts were planted there in your brain when you are two or three years old by your parents by your teachers whatever you know and you and they are now burnt into the record and the record is playing you know and every a few turns it will a few turns it will scratch that you're not good enough you're not good enough you're not good so what you know trying to kill that thoughts just empowers it can you meet that thought i'm not good enough and just don't believe it like you don't believe a scratch on your nose to be true that's the meaning of an observer you know you can just observe whatever is happening emotions sensations and thoughts everything that is projected on the screen of your mind without identifying with it ah it's there therefore it's me no it's there and it will be gone in a second something else will replace it you see the difference so much freedom is there when you realize that phenomenas has no power you give the power you the observer give that power so now ask yourself what do you want to empower the broken record of trying to persuade you that you're not good enough good go for it go for it but you can choose not to that's your derogative is that the right word prerogative that's your prerogative what else um so nino says yes this was back a while ago what you were saying yes feels as though i'm shedding the old and birthing a new and then jen asked aj are you referring to the love from animals and aj says no jen i more meant the barrage of human rules expectations imagination people have expectations people have ideas about what should i do what should i believe what should i understand how should i behave people have expectation is that true definitely we are surrounded by opinionated people that believe that they know what's best for me and for them what does it mean it means that that person is currently walking in my area you know other in other people's area remember a few sentences ago that person generates drama generates conflict because they are not operating from their own space they are trying to operate from my space what to do with that realize that this is caused because of lack of knowledge ignorance trying to manipulate trying to control avoid the pain maintain a source an illusion of a comfort zone that protects them an illusion of a comfort zone that protects them these people act of fear act out of suffering ignorance what to do with that have compassion when you see someone acting out of fear out of suffering just have compassion you don't need to judge or don't need to be opinionated don't try to persuade or educate don't manipulate just have compassion yeah i see i see you i see you in your pain and of course you don't need to dance to that music you can listen to that music but you don't have to dance to it you can choose to dance but you can choose not to it's up to you that's your area of responsibility what you do what you believe usually we are prompt to dance in order to please or to avoid conflict because we are worried about what other people think about us but if you remain true to yourself true to your heart which is completely devoid of fear and the only thing you emit is unconditional love people will recognize that don't worry even if it will be a bit awkward in the beginning and people would find it hard to believe or they're just too preoccupied with their own drama it's okay if it's on time be patient unconditional love will be received and the bottom line of every conflict is that longing for unconditional love that's it that's the only thing it did you if you ever ask yourself what other people want from you really what do you want from me the answer is always and universal unconditional love so be that be be that unconditional love the rest will just take care of itself don't worry about it so do you remember thoughts that i have well my my initial my initial reaction to what you just said was um how i i feel that when i express unconditional love there's a lot of people that have a problem accepting that maybe because they're not used to it or whatever which is fine that's where they're at but i i think you know i try to turn that around and think okay do i do i have a problem accepting unconditional love because if it if it bothers me that my unconditional love isn't accepted then there's probably something going on with my ability to accept that unconditional love or it's not unconditional because you accept people to accept it think about that the sun emits warmth and light evenly to the people that are currently sunbathe on the beach and to the people that take cover in the air condition right it doesn't have any conditions about what you do with that light and heat so is your love don't worry about what other people choose to do with it got nothing to do with the way it's being received and accepted it's not your area of responsibility your area of responsibility stay open and soft unconditional that's it the rest will take care of itself uh okay so aj has a question i'm just going to skip it for now nina says i intend to raise my babies on a spiritual path i trust the oneness how to protect our light and face of others worry fear and suffering or maybe it's my perception that we won't be encouraged to do what not sure i understand the question and jen says what about expectations of expectations that create a mind loop how to break out with compassion expectations of expectations if it's your expectations drop them drop them how to drop them come back to the present moment you know expectations is all about what will happen in the future what will be the consequences of the present moment and will they meet my ideas about what should happen this is an expectation right so don't worry about what will happen god will worry about what will happen that's stepping in god's area no trying to persuade god that this should happen and as opposed to that don't worry about god will take care of the future and the consequences of the present moment you just be available to experience the present moment that's it that's the only place you can remain open and so when now are you angie says never have expectations they only lead to trouble and again what does it mean never have expected you cannot not have expectations because expectation is a thought it's an idea and when you cannot control your thoughts and ideas you cannot prevent them no no no no no no no don't count no right try not to think about an apple can you not thinking about an apple for a minute who was successful it's not it's not the way it works but when you have that expectation in your mind it's already there then just remind yourself that's not what i'm focused on i don't want i don't want to be carried away by that idea about what should happen or should not happen i don't care about what will happen when only thing i care about is what's happening now and am i soft and open to this so you just come back come back on this futuristic film you have in your head whatever is happening to reality is happening to reality that's it so i i have an example um so for some reason lately i've been thinking about my mom and the relationship that i had with my mom so i can easily go down the path of thinking how sad i am that my mom and i aren't closer and you know and on the surface level how different our personalities are and you know all all these things and you know that can make me really sad because i have this expectation that we should be you know closer and be able to share all these things and see eye to eye and support each other and do all this stuff but if i pierce down a little deeper i can feel palpably feel the unconditional love that my mom has for me that i know that no matter what happens she'll she'll always accept me in a loving compassionate way even if on the surface level we don't see you know the same way we don't have the same opinions we don't see the world the same way you know and you think or maybe it's just me that thinks that you know we we came from the same seed you know we came from we came from the same ancestry we should have those similarities in that personality but we just don't you know we were never close that way right from i felt it right from when i you know became a teenager but you know trying to get down into that deeper level of that unconditional love and for me i feel lucky that i am able to feel that so easily um but that was just an example that i felt i came up with her expectation um okay so back to aj's question he is asking this is your oh no this is your best session yet he said can consciousness and ego ever be aligned consciousness doesn't exclude anything ego included okay consciousness does not exist outside of reality consciousness includes everything in reality sometimes in reality there are pleasant some things and sometimes unpleasant sometimes in reality you you find fear and contractions and illusions and sometimes you follow you find an expression of truth everything is included in consciousness don't think that part of your experience is futile or or bad or useless whatever your experience good or bad pleasant or unpleasant embrace it it's part of your consciousness it's part of your existence your experience of life embrace it just don't identify with it too much like you watch a show you know like you watch a play on the stage things happen good bad happy sad it's okay it's okay be wide enough to include everything consciousness is wide enough to include everything everything okay so i think we better understand what jen's saying about expectations of expectations she says i have an expectation then i expect myself to not expect yeah so as i said when you see that expectation it's an idea it's a thought what do you do don't try to kill it it's pointless you cannot kill a thought by thinking a different thought you cannot fight fire with fire no you just come back to the present moment if you need assistance use your breath what's happening now i used to have that thought about what should happen but now i come back to the present what's happening now now there is an itch on my nose right come back again and again come back otherwise you carry it away into the drama of what should or should not happen you know don't worry about it don't have expectations about your expectations and the way you deal with them just come back to the present moment almost the present moment is where god waits for you you want to meet god you want to be god and we get an expression of unconditional love come back so nina clarified her comment earlier when she was talking about um protecting her the the light and face of um protecting her the the light and face of others worry fear and suffering um or maybe it's my perception that we won't be encouraged she says my boys may never be in typical school everyone has something to say about the life choices don't be a football of other people's opinions and don't try to please everyone it's impossible anyway you follow your heart be truthful to that the rest will align accordingly you lead the way of unconditional love everyone will follow don't worry you become that leader of unconditional undoubted love the rest will follow don't worry so bella says i'm currently broken i don't think i can open my heart anymore because i have so many times and i don't want to believe i'll be by myself all my life don't why believe that what kind of a thought is that don't why believe that what kind of a thought is that i'm broken beautiful there is a crack in everything that's how the light gets in be broken be a beautiful broken tool that's a leonard cohen line yeah it's not mine in the in the jewish tradition there is a saying that only a broken heart is a complete house i have this image you know when i was a kid i was walking in tehran i was living in tehran back then in tehran i was living in tehran back then and i remember in the streets and the the the sidewalks where people walk they they put rugs on the sidewalks so people can walk on the on the rugs and i was like what why why would they make the rugs so dirty and uh you know they are not new anymore and and i and and i explained that people like that rugged old look and it makes the rug more precious more expensive so let people walk on over you that makes you precious you know let life rub you yeah it's painful it's ugly it's unpleasant but that's what we are here to do we are here to allow ourselves to rub with life that's why you have a body allow life to touch you even if it's not perfect allow life to touch you even if it's not pleasant sometimes don't worry about it it's not too much it was never too much don't convince yourself that you cannot take it you can definitely take it 100 that's a law of nature otherwise reality wouldn't suggest that experience to you if it's suggested it means you can contain it you can experience that full-heartedly so if you're broken be beautifully broken and allow the light to go penetrate through those cracks and if you ever believe that you will not ever what was it love again if that i don't want to believe that i'll be by myself by myself don't why believe that and if there is a thought trying to convince you that that's your future yeah don't care about it the future doesn't bother me the only thing that bothers me is the present moment i want to be here i want to be now and i want to be open to it that's it i don't want to believe that i'll be by myself there is a thought trying to take me away no no thank you i'm not interested what's happening now am i open to this that's it am i curious about that am i inspired by whatever it is i'm doing now do i meet god in the bubble soap of the dishes that i'm currently washing um bella it's not um possible for you to be alone because look at all these people that love you right now every time you feel alone come back once a week or you can touch base with me personally you can find me online i'm here for you 24 7 um michelle said to bella you aren't broken this is your type of self saying that that is your ego your truth is that you are perfect and exactly where you should be in love there is a lesson here don't forget to learn it because you are believing a lie you are whole until you know that truth you won't live yourself and therefore no others can love you you've got homework sweetheart you can be an expression of broken wholeness don't think that the fact that life scratched you is a mistake if there is a mark carry it proudly that means life touched you good that's what you're here for don't believe that you should leave this planet with a baby face that is unmarked by life no it's not happening sorry to say we're here for the duration of time we have on on this planet so life can touch us yeah and sometimes it's painful sometimes it's ugly but sometimes it's pleasurable and beautiful isn't it stay open and let go of the ideas of what should have happened these are just follies come back to the present one what else we've got two minutes jen said someone likened this to gremlins at a conference table in the mind don't don't join them i think that was in reference to the ego nina says brings tears to my eyes don't worry lead with unconditional love the rest will follow yes and jen says i love this be broken so light can get in yeah and jake can you please schedule more time for your lives never enough time with you let's arrange a silence retreat let's arrange a silence retreat in the physical realm who is brave enough committed enough to how do you say raise the glove is that an expression to to meet this challenge to meet this challenge let's do that i tell you one long weekend of silence is better than a hundred online meetings what else jackie says yes yes barbara says amen silence is beautiful matt says raise the bar i'm in good nina says wish i could maybe in a few years nina where do you live we'll come do it at where you are yeah so to sum up our meeting for today oh nina's in minnesota she has four two and seven month old boys wow respect barbara says echoing in my mind is your wisdom to mind the gap when there is a gap close it yeah aj says you're on you're the perfect manifestation of the truth of unconditional love we're all blessed i'm not different than you in any way you are also a perfect manifestation of unconditional love now let's take that into practice let's live that let's express that let's lead the path you know beyond any doubt just do it and the rest will take care of itself people will follow they want unconditional they're long they crave for unconditional love they don't even know how to word it but this is what everybody's that it's thirsty for so you you be that fountain you be that source good so thank you very much people for being here sharing your path contributing with your for being here sharing your path contributing with your beautiful questions thank you for your donations and let's meet again next week and bring your friends make sure that they log in together with you and invite them to your place whatever it takes so we can spread that love around us let's make sanity a pandemic thank you very much see you soon bye