From Known To Unknown: Expanding In Relationships

What is the role of relationships in expanding consciousness? How are we able to expand beyond the limitations of our own self-identity through our partner, and how is intimacy involved? Why is it so important to reach out your hand first? Join us to unveil the mystery around expanding through relationships.

Transcript

Hello dear people,

Welcome to this weekly opportunity we give ourselves to walk the white path together,

Not only as individuals but also as one unified consciousness that is asking and answering itself and grows in this process.

This is how you are invited to contribute to this session,

By sharing your question,

Sharing your doubt,

Sharing your objections,

Sharing everything that you feel that still stands between you and an awakened consciousness.

Carly is going to be here to sound the voice of the sincere Seeker.

The excuse we gave ourselves today to meet is the discussion around what is the part of relationship within the process of evolution of consciousness.

What is the process or the part of the relationships within the process of evolution of consciousness?

We had a walk the other day,

Carly started asking me all these questions and I said this is a topic for one of our meetings.

So today we're going to unveil that.

What do you say?

First of all,

It's important to realize that our lives are being experienced in the context of a relationship.

There's always me and whatever I'm experiencing.

That is a relationship.

Not only me and my spouse.

So there's me and the object of observation.

And since I don't feel that I am that,

There is me and there is that.

There is a duality and in that duality there is also always a relationship.

It's always in the context of a relationship.

Of course,

When we are talking about personal relationships with a partner,

With a spouse,

It's more dynamic,

It's more intense because it's more intimate.

And the more intimate it is,

The more personal and vulnerable we are in it because it's closer to us.

Everything that happens there in that arena seems very personal.

So easy to identify with and be shaken by it.

This is just a few words to warm you up.

Happy to meet your questions in this regard.

Yeah.

You are welcome to start if you want.

So many beautiful questions back there.

Come up with these topics when we're walking and then you can't remember what we talked about.

Just to remember the title.

You're always asking me if we're still expanding in our relationship.

So I guess as time goes on,

That continues to be redefined.

And I asked you,

What does it mean for you to experience expansion within a relationship?

What did you say?

Okay.

So let's give context to that first.

When we just started discussing a possible relationship between us,

We shared our vision of that relationship.

And it was easy to come to an agreement that we are interested in this relationship because it provides an opportunity to create a vessel that holds more potential for growth than what we can create alone.

Meaning within this context of living together,

Being together,

And coming with this mutual intention of expansion of consciousness,

That togetherness can provide a greater vessel that holds deeper energies,

Higher energies,

Whatever you want to frame it.

And the potential of growth multiplies accordingly.

This was what was most important for us both,

I think.

So that question,

Are we still expanding,

Is always in the context of that mutual interest that we're together in the first place.

So what does it mean to keep on expanding in the context of a relationship?

For me,

Expansion can be identified easily by moving from the known to the unknown.

When we agree to move together from the known to unknown,

That holds a greater momentum.

What is the known?

It's everything that we already agree to and used to.

It's what we experience when we are buried inside our comfort zone,

Right?

We feel that we are comfortable with,

In control.

That's the known.

The unknown is always intimidating in that sense,

Because I know that I can handle whatever is here,

But I don't know that I can handle whatever is the periphery of that.

I know that I'm safe and comfortable here,

But I know that that will be shattered as I move closer to the edge of that sphere,

Right?

So,

At the level of personality,

People tend not to travel too far from the center of their comfort zone.

And of course,

Evolution cannot happen when you're buried in your comfort zone.

I mean,

Not to its fullest potential,

That's for sure.

Correct?

So,

The fact that we both agree to scratch the surface of that sphere and remind each other that this is the most important thing for us,

And encouraging each other to test the boundaries,

Expand them,

Gently but consistently,

Expand towards the mystery.

That's so powerful.

What do you say?

Yeah,

So my thoughts around that,

I guess I had explored the question of what happens when,

You know,

Over time,

When you're in an intimate relationship or close relationship with somebody,

And those,

The space of unknown becomes smaller and smaller as you get to know that person more deeply,

And then so there's more knowns and fewer unknowns as time goes on.

So then,

I think I had asked you something about,

You know,

What is the definition of intimacy?

It's a beautiful question.

What is the definition of intimacy?

It's one of those things that's difficult to define,

But easy to recognize.

Right?

When it's there,

You know it.

And to get there,

You need to be willing to be fragile.

You need to be willing to be accessible,

Reachable.

You need to lay down your layers of protection.

Armor?

Armor.

Lay down your armor.

And the more exposed you are,

The more vulnerable you become,

The more intimacy can engulf your relationship.

Again,

Not necessarily with your partner,

With everything in life.

And the more intimate you are with life,

The easier it is for you to melt into them,

Which is the crescendo of any spiritual path,

Melting into oneness with life.

So intimacy is an inevitable phase of evolution,

As you agree to come closer and closer to your true nature.

And it's inevitable,

But you can definitely accelerate that process by consciously choosing so,

Choosing to be vulnerable,

Choosing to be accessible,

Allowing life to touch you,

Whether it's painful or pleasurable.

Intimacy is a true sign of matureness.

And in order for intimacy to be there and you allowing yourself to be vulnerable,

Trust is a key factor.

You need to be willing to trust life,

To trust that you are taken care of.

And you don't need to stand on guard.

You don't need to keep protecting yourself against life.

Trust that everything life has to offer is bearable.

And you can experience that with a whole heart and a willing soul.

And you need to trust because you don't know that yet,

Because it's on the edges of your comfort zone.

This is not where you usually venture.

Maybe that's the difference between it sort of dawned on me that what you're talking about is more faith than trust.

So it's,

It feels a little bit like trust is more related to the steps that you take to allow life in and to be vulnerable.

And faith is that ability to let yourself touch the sides of those edges.

I mean,

We kind of had this conversation before.

Yeah,

Trust and faith.

They're very close.

Very close.

Problem with faith is that people associate it with religion.

And that's why I avoid using that.

Because,

And then they confuse faith with belief.

You know,

And belief is,

And then you're getting further and further away into the trap.

So there's no need for that.

You don't need to be a man of faith in order to be a spiritual seeker.

That's the point.

Unlike religion.

For Jesus,

For example,

Faith was everything.

So is trust something that is a natural consequence or outcome?

Or is trust something that you,

That you grasp onto first?

Like,

Where does it fall in the space of letting go?

It really depends on how mature you are on your path.

Because trust is inevitable.

Eventually you will come to realize that life is not working against you.

And there's nothing that you need to protect.

So in that sense,

Then it's a natural consequence of letting go and evolving.

Yeah.

But you can accelerate that.

You don't need to wait a thousand lifetimes for that to happen.

You can just consciously choose to trust.

When either you are spiritually ready,

Mature,

Or it happens also when you are completely hopeless.

Despair.

When you are completely desperate.

In both cases,

You just,

Okay,

No,

No,

That's it.

There's nothing left.

You take it.

This is way beyond me.

I cannot do anything.

I've got nothing else to lose.

You know,

Whatever.

Whatever.

Die will be done.

In both cases,

You say,

Die will be done.

You know?

Okay,

So back to the intimacy.

So in the question of are we still expanding,

Once you,

Once you evolve together to the point where you feel like there is a very close,

Intimate relationship,

Maybe to the point where you've experienced that oneness together or in relation to whatever part of life you're experiencing.

Could be with another person or another experience.

Then from there,

If I'm referencing back to there's not much,

You know,

When you're so intimate,

There's not much left of the unknown between you,

Right?

Like there's no space here.

So what does the expansion look like after that point?

Transpersonal.

The expansion is in the essence of transpersonal.

Yes,

On the personal level,

You get to know somebody very intimate.

Eventually,

It's difficult to surprise each other anymore.

You know,

Because we are people of habits,

You know,

And we see the other person always with sack of ideas and opinions.

And memories we have about them.

It's very difficult.

Only enlightened people can look at you in shiny,

Bright,

Innocent eyes every time they look at you.

Most of us carry all these images,

Impressions.

So eventually,

Yeah,

The more you spend time with somebody,

The less you're surprised.

And you ask yourself,

So how can we grow if everything is already known and expected and habitual?

Or what is the experience or the definition of expansion at that point?

Yeah,

So transpersonal.

You're not busy just getting to know the person in front of you.

And your relationship with that person.

But imagine an energetical vessel that is created by both of your intentions.

That vessel can hold an energy that is harnessed for the sake of evolution of consciousness.

And that is unique.

I feel an analogy that comes to mind is,

Could be found maybe in like music or art is what I'm thinking.

You know,

Like an artist who,

Let's say,

Let's take a,

You know,

Your favorite band.

Sometimes they're your favorite band because every,

Maybe not even every album,

But there's certain albums that are,

You know,

Really,

Really good.

And then they'll put out another album that's quite different,

But,

You know,

Has even gone to another level.

And there's these few very special artists and musicians that have that ability and talent to be able to just keep expanding in their creativity.

It's beautiful.

And how many examples we have of these bands that created amazing,

You know,

Timeless albums,

Splitting,

And then they're trying to do their own solo album,

Which sucks.

Right.

Nobody wants to hear it or know about it.

Because there's something about the combination that was bigger than,

This is what the essence of synergy is,

Right?

What is synergy?

Your ability to create something with someone that is bigger than the sum of just what you bring and they're bringing to the table.

Okay.

I have $5,

You have $5,

But together we have $50.

That's one of the mysteries of life.

And you know that,

You know that.

And again,

This is not something that is easy to explain,

But it's very easy to recognize.

Like harmony,

You know,

And I've written about that in my latest book.

Harmonial vibration.

You know,

In physics,

There is this term,

Harmonial vibration,

Where you put two frequencies that rise on each other.

The amplitude of those two frequencies is higher than each of them summed.

So if one is one decibel and another is one decibel,

If you put them together in a certain frequency,

It will not be two decibels,

It will be 20.

Somehow they multiply each other.

Exponentially.

And that vibration is very strong.

So if you can create that intention with the object of your observation,

Whether it's a book or something that you work on,

Or your partner.

You would see that together you can achieve something much bigger than what you could individually achieve.

Much,

Much bigger.

You can go much deeper,

You can soar much higher,

Wherever you want to direct your expansion towards.

Blossom Violet is saying,

Many jazz musicians can improvise music because their creations come from silence.

Transpersonal,

I call it.

Yeah,

Of course,

They are talented,

But the creation is bigger than the individual talent that is currently playing.

Any creator will tell you,

Not only musicians.

Anything that you are truly submerged in to the point where there is no I anymore.

It's not me doing that,

Me playing the piano,

Me the prodigy that is being adored and is gaining fame.

Once there is that me,

Something is lost.

And you can't achieve the fullest potential of your creation.

Dr.

Tammy was asking,

What have been your biggest challenges in this relational space?

Yes,

Carly.

I don't know,

I feel like because we had set that intention so early on,

We don't really experience any challenges relationally.

Stop,

Stop,

Stop.

People are saying,

Yeah,

Yeah,

Right.

I can hear that all the way from the other side of the internet.

Now tell us the truth.

I don't know,

You just finished telling me this morning that I only see goodness and am only goodness.

I really can't think of anything.

Yesterday we had a meeting with a group of friends and we were sharing what is our superpower.

And Carly said something that she can easily see to the essence of people.

And I said that on top of that,

She has this ability to see only goodness in people.

And that's because she is only goodness.

And she cannot see the dark side because she doesn't have a dark side.

She can't relate to it.

Yeah,

Look,

I know it sounds like a fantasy.

You don't know any couple who doesn't struggle from time to time.

And some say it's even healthy to ventilate your frustration from each other and shout or whatever,

Have a drama and make up sex.

And that's how you keep a healthy relationship.

Yes,

That's true.

As long as you are in the habit of building frustration in the first place.

Then definitely you need to find healthy ways to ventilate that.

We truly don't carry that baggage with us.

We are not frustrated from each other because we have no demands from each other.

That's the true meaning of unconditional love.

In the cover of my book,

I said,

This book is dedicated to my teacher,

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar and to Carly.

The two people I met that knows unconditional love.

So when you love unconditionally,

There is no buildup of anger,

Of resentment,

Of frustration.

So you don't need all that drama of how to deal with that and keep a healthy relationship.

It is healthy,

It is harmonious,

It is balanced.

And the more you are surrendered to the play of the masculine and the feminine within this relationship,

The more joyful it becomes.

It's just a beautiful dance.

A doodle?

Yeah,

I thought of something.

Please.

Oh!

Satisfies Jenny here.

The only time there's ever tension between us is if we both in the moment have something going on.

If both of us at the same time is stressed about something,

To do usually with one of our kids or something like that.

Then if we both are not in the position of being able to hold one another in that space,

Then there's some tension there.

But it doesn't last long.

It's like anger,

Like a drop in the pan and it dissipates.

And that's it.

There's nothing held there.

There's no.

.

.

Resentment buildup?

Yeah,

There's no buildup of anything.

It's just that purpose of that feeling,

That anger,

Frustration or emotion is gone almost as soon as it comes in.

And probably the way that happens so fast is the ability to fall back into that space of seeing the true nature.

Because there are no walls or armor built up.

So it's really easy to access that intimacy right away,

Immediately.

And to allow the other person in,

Especially if they're trying to be present or supportive.

Angie's asking,

How do you maintain unconditional love?

Life isn't always roses,

Etc.

That's the point of unconditional love.

It's unconditional.

It's not conditioned according to the situation.

Everything's all good all the time.

Yeah,

Situations change.

Some are more challenging than others.

Difficult times.

Sometimes it's easy.

Sometimes it's painful.

Sometimes it's pleasurable.

If we are conditioning our love according to the circumstances,

Then it's not free.

It cannot be unconditional.

That's the whole point.

Yeah,

Life is not always roses.

And I am the last one who ever promised you that.

I actually promised you the opposite of that many,

Many,

Many,

Many times.

If you've been here.

What's the opposite of that?

That life offers everything.

The pleasant and the unpleasant.

The sad and the happiness.

Life and death.

Everything is included.

And love is not conditioned by that.

I will love you only when you are providing A,

B and C.

If you don't,

Then I cannot love you anymore.

That's how true love works.

Unfortunately,

That is how most relationships work.

Based on that idea that my partner should provide.

It's not unconditional.

I never promised you a rose garden.

Barbara is saying,

Maybe the challenge is the same for all of us.

Meet life with an open heart and a willing soul and don't forget the challenge is to remember.

Yeah,

That's our mantra.

With a whole heart and a willing soul.

So,

There's a question,

You know.

Okay,

So if I find a partner that is sharing that commitment,

That intention,

I can hope to achieve a greater vessel,

To hold higher energies,

More than we can do alone.

Fantastic.

What happens if I don't have that partner?

Or my partner is not interested.

What then?

How come nobody asked me that question before?

You know,

I'm not supposed to answer questions that are not asked.

So,

What happens if my partner is not interested in that or don't have a partner?

It's a beautiful question.

I can tell you this.

Trust that your situation is not a mistake.

Whether you have the partner or you don't.

What you have is what you need.

And what you don't need,

You don't have.

Trust that.

Trust life.

Take care of you.

No need to manipulate life.

No need to try to squeeze something specific.

Specific out of life.

Trust that your situation is not a mistake.

And if you don't have that partner now,

You hold that intention alone,

If necessary.

Or find people that are not your partners,

But come with the same intention.

If you look,

You will find they are all around.

People that will support your growth,

Support your intention to be a supportive influencer in this process of evolution of consciousness.

They are all over the place.

You just need to open your door and allow them in.

Find them.

They don't need to marry you or whatever.

It doesn't matter.

That's only a superficial level of connection.

Open your door.

Open your heart.

Connect with people.

This is a disease in North America.

They lost the know-how of how to do that.

How to connect?

Train in that.

Connect.

Connect with people with a similar intention.

People that are interested in the evolution of consciousness.

Are interested in living life with a whole heart and a willing soul.

It's the same in the UK too.

In the Western world,

The more comfortable our society becomes,

The less capable we are to connect with other people.

Because we are just buried deeper and deeper in our own comfort zone.

But you feel that something is missing.

Something essential is missing.

It doesn't matter if you have a beautiful house and a beautiful wife.

You wake up one day and you ask,

Well,

How did I get here?

I'm quoting David Byrne from Talking Heads.

Open your door.

Open your heart.

Find those people.

Reach out your hand first.

It doesn't matter if it is somebody that you never met.

Hi,

I'm Yaron.

You look interested.

Maybe we can get to know each other.

Whatever.

What do you have to lose?

Think about someone that you had a quarrel with.

And you don't speak with each other.

Did we have this discussion last week?

No,

This was with my Israeli group.

Reach out your hand first.

Go to that person.

Tell them,

Listen,

Whatever happened between us,

Water under the bridge.

As far as I'm concerned,

I'm happy to put that behind us.

Let's reconnect.

I take responsibility for whatever happened.

I want to apologize if I offended you.

Let's put it behind us.

Let's walk together.

You might be surprised.

It doesn't matter if they accept your offer or reject it.

But something unlocks there.

Energy can flow easier.

You know,

Connect with people.

Don't be afraid.

And maybe one of those people,

Who knows,

Will become your partner in the future.

It doesn't matter.

Don't confuse yourself to believe that because you don't have that right partner,

It's all.

.

.

It's theoretical for you.

You cannot manifest that.

It's not true.

It's not a question of your circumstances.

But your willingness to open and be soft.

Embrace life.

Don't demand anything out of life.

Embrace life.

What do you say?

Anze is saying,

It's very sad.

Once upon a time,

Neighbors were supportive and friendly,

And now they don't even speak.

So,

Remember what Nelson Mandela said,

No?

You become the change that you aspire for.

You.

You become the change.

The rest of the world will align accordingly.

It won't have any choice but to do that.

You start that movement.

You be the one who ignites the revolution.

Don't wait for the whole world to turn around according to your expectations.

You do that.

Can you do that?

Can you take that responsibility?

Can you change yourself?

Forget about the world.

Sounds like homework.

Right on cue.

Yeah,

Seriously,

Guys,

This is a homework I encourage you to do.

The best homework you'll ever be assigned.

Use this week.

Go find somebody that you either don't know and you're interested to get to know,

Or somebody that you have a quarrel with or,

You know,

There is some entanglement.

Tell them,

Listen,

Reach out your hand first.

Whatever happened,

I'll take responsibility.

It's okay.

I forgive you.

Whatever happened,

Let's move together from now on.

I want to feel close to you.

I want to be a part of your life.

Be vulnerable.

It's okay if they reject you.

It's okay,

Jay Gourdev,

That's up to them.

It doesn't matter.

But at least internally something is released.

You'll see energy starts flowing.

Do that.

And we can meet next week and share our experience.

What do you say?

Yes or no?

Next week you're going to be in a different time zone.

Next week I'm going to be in a different time zone.

So,

Follow my page.

I don't know exactly what time we'll set this meeting,

But we'll meet.

Earlier.

Probably.

Michelle found both your books on Amazon.

Congratulations.

Send it to all your friends.

Joanna.

Joanna.

Do me one favor.

Don't try.

Don't try to do it.

Just do it.

Do you recognize the difference?

You just go and do it.

Don't try to do it.

Don't bother wasting your time on trying.

Good.

Okay.

Thank you,

Beautiful people,

For your attention,

Your support.

Thank you for your beautiful questions.

We'll meet again next week.

Jake Goldiff.

Bye-bye.