Dealing With Depression- Part II

This is a unique opportunity to dive deeper into the essence of Depression. Unveil what still blocks you and prohibits you from fully flourishing. Join the people who share their questions, insights, and doubts so we can all grow together on the path to an open heart. Let's unravel what is still standing between you and an awakened consciousness. Share it with a friend and let's make it a pandemic of sanity

Transcript

Hello again everyone.

Welcome to this unique opportunity we give ourselves once a week to stop the rage,

Hold hands,

Walk the path together,

Support each other on our journey towards an awakened consciousness,

Propelled by that tension that hides between the question and the answer.

This is your opportunity to shine,

To contribute,

To add some fuel to the common fire,

Allowing the light to grow even brighter.

Don't censorize yourself.

Don't be shy.

Embrace the opportunity and let us grow together.

The reason for our meeting today is to continue discussing the issue of depression.

We spent a meeting last week on that and people asked if we can dedicate another one,

Another meeting for that subject.

I'm going to just briefly review what we discussed last week and then leave the stage for your questions.

Depression is a pandemic.

Especially in the Western world,

People are too often finding themselves in this state of mind.

We would like to help us understand what is the origin of depression.

How is it felt?

What are the symptoms?

Most importantly,

How can we help ourselves to grow beyond it?

So,

Just one minute of a recap.

What is depression?

Depression is sadness that won't leave,

That won't go away,

That stays,

That sticks.

And the more we feel sad,

The more we are consumed with self-pity,

A sense of disappointment,

Lack of motivation,

General life energy drops and we lose interest,

We lose motivation,

We lose a meaning,

We lose a reason to keep on going.

So,

Why does it happen?

In a nutshell,

Sadness stays and doesn't move,

Doesn't change because we resist it.

Like any other phenomenon,

Like any other event that happens,

If we resist it,

If we fight against it,

If we reject it,

What you resist persists.

That's it,

Very simple.

If you don't allow yourself to dive deep into the essence of the phenomena that you are invited to meet,

It stays and it follows you.

What you resist persists.

Why don't you allow it to be fully experienced?

There could be many reasons.

You think it's too much,

It's somewhere on the scale between it's not comfortable,

It's not convenient or it will destroy me.

I can't allow myself to experience it fully.

I believe it's way bigger than me and if I will submit myself,

I will be destroyed.

Somewhere on that scale.

As we discussed last week,

And there is a recording of the meeting last week already available on Insight Timer,

Look in my page.

If you want to catch up with everything we already said,

You are most welcome to listen to that recording.

That's a very brief recap.

And now the stage is open for your questions.

What would you like to know more about depression?

AJ,

Why do we forget the truth?

I can answer this question in many levels.

First of all,

The first word of this question is why.

There is a whole talk about why,

About that word.

I would encourage you to look on my Insight Timer page and listen to it.

Why do we use why?

And then why do we forget?

We forget so we can remember.

That's why.

How do I know?

Because that's what happens.

We forget and then we remember and then we forget and then we remember.

And it's not a problem.

It's not a problem.

It means you're still alive.

There is a pulse.

There is some work to do here.

Don't scold yourself because you found that you forgot.

And when do you realize that you forget?

When you remember,

Right?

So at least be joyful about that.

Be tapping your back.

Oh,

Okay.

Yes,

I forgot.

But now I remember.

I once was blind,

But now I see.

And I will be blind again.

Don't worry about that.

And then the truth.

Listen.

What is the truth?

The truth is not a concept.

It's not an idea that we can forget about.

The truth is not some fantasized alternative reality that we strive to achieve that maybe will be revealed to us if we are good enough,

If we are dedicated enough as a reward to our efforts.

That's not the truth.

That's an illusion.

Last evening,

We had a talk,

Carly and I,

And I asked her to remind me to add that specific point to the book that we are currently writing.

It's about how do I know that the guru that I chose is the right guru for me?

So there is one criteria that was not clear enough yet.

I'm going to add that as a very important criteria,

How to choose your guru.

Too many on the spiritual path make this mistake,

Either as teachers or as disciples.

Creating a sort of a gap between the reality that is currently manifesting and the greater reality that waits for you at the end of the rainbow.

If you only follow me,

I will show you the way to reach the other side of the rainbow so you can actually be,

Whatever,

Realized,

Complete,

Enlightened,

Or whatever.

People words that.

I tell you,

This is a great service on the spiritual path.

Persuading that you,

As you are,

Is not good enough,

And there is a better,

More sophisticated version of you waiting to be revealed at the end of your journey.

That is total crap.

Don't fall for that trap.

The truth is not something different than what you already are.

It's not different from the present moment as it being revealed to you any moment,

Any second,

In the present time.

That is the truth.

It's not something you can forget.

You can either be present and aware of that,

Embracing it,

Loving it,

With a full heart and a willing soul.

Or you can judge it as mundane,

Something much greater waits for me when I will be enlightened.

If you come from that position,

I guarantee you will stay waiting till the rest of your time.

Why?

Because that's the position you put yourself in,

Waiting for something else.

In that sense,

You create that reality for yourself.

Why do you forget the truth?

Drop the why.

We should forget,

And there is no other truth.

There is only here and now.

That's it.

I realize that I've been avoiding a deep dive into grief after having done it before.

Like you said,

It becomes all-consuming.

Also,

I have avoided dating since my last boyfriend,

And I have a therapist,

A journal,

But I'm not sure where to go.

I'm not sure what else to do.

How do we go deep?

You tell me,

What is the only force preventing us to go deeper into the experience,

Into the sensation,

Into the emotion?

We give it a brand name.

What is the brand name?

It's not pain,

But you're close.

It's the fear of the pain.

Pain is not a problem.

Pain is a phenomenon,

Like pleasure.

Pain is not a problem.

It's a part of life.

Life can be painful.

How do I know?

Because sometimes they are painful.

Sometimes they are very,

Very painful.

But that's not a problem.

What is the situation?

The situation is that we don't allow ourselves to dive deep into pain.

We believe it's bad.

It's not comfortable.

All the way to the other side of that scale,

We believe that it will be too much for us.

It's beyond our capacity.

It will destroy us.

So we avoid it.

And then what happens to the pain?

It turns into chronic pain.

Because what you resist,

Persists.

It's marked as a trauma.

Why?

Because what's trauma?

It's an event that we won't allow ourselves to experience because we believe it's too much.

We avoid it.

We manipulate.

We run away.

We fight it.

Yes.

Let's talk about fear of pain for just one more minute.

I said that on many occasions before.

You received a body.

There are countless numbers of souls waiting in the waiting line to receive what you already have.

Think about that.

There is an eternal wait list.

You somehow were able to squeeze in first and receive the body.

Now you have a body.

That's incredible.

The body is here to experience life.

How does the body experience life?

Through rubbing with life.

Right?

Through pleasure.

Through pain.

Through the five senses.

Emotions,

Sensations,

Thoughts.

That's how our body experiences life.

But instead of embracing that opportunity,

We are busy rejecting it.

No,

This is not comfortable.

I would prefer more sweet in my coffee.

No?

Trying to chase the ultimate refined experience just the way I like it.

Why?

Because the others don't meet my demands,

My expectations.

We mark certain situations as good.

We mark certain situations as bad.

We try to hold on to the good.

We try to avoid the bad.

Hence the human drama.

Do you really want to go beyond the human drama?

Embrace the opportunity you received to experience life through your body.

And yes,

Sometimes it's pleasurable and sometimes it's painful.

Don't be afraid of life.

Don't be afraid of pain.

Embrace it.

So how do we dive deep,

She's asking.

Fear is what prevents you from diving deep.

Agenda,

Preconceived ideas about good and bad.

You need to identify what fear are still blocking you from truly surrendering.

Don't worry about trying to dive deep.

Don't force it.

Just make sure you realize what prevents that.

It's your nature to dive deep.

That's what you came here for.

Don't try to adopt that position artificially.

That won't work.

What will work is you recognizing your inhibitions,

Your fears.

What prevents that from happening?

And then deal with those.

Shed those fears.

You can listen to this course,

Fears vs.

Surrender,

That I have posted.

You can take that course.

It gives you all the explanations.

Okay?

No?

You don't look satisfied.

Tell us how in your book you describe diving deep into the fear.

I have a fear of.

.

.

I'm trying to think of a fear I have.

Invent one.

I can't.

I have to be authentic,

Otherwise it doesn't work.

I have a fear of heights.

Okay.

So how does it work to dive deep into that?

Fear of heights.

Okay.

So,

Of course,

The fear of heights is there to help you survive and stay up.

So if you feel that fear,

You look around and you see,

Is there any reason for you?

Are you coming closer to the edge of a cliff?

Do you need to be attentive and aware?

You know,

You don't lose your balance,

Etc.

Okay,

Yeah,

Do that.

On a survival level,

Make sure that you're still.

.

.

If there is an immediate danger that this fear is trying to wake you up to,

So yeah,

Of course,

Listen to it.

But if there is no.

.

.

Let's say you're truly protected,

Right?

Or you're walking on a bridge and there's no way,

Even if you try,

That you can fall from the bridge because it's really protected well.

Then,

You know,

You're not in danger.

Now there is just fear that is completely useless.

What to do?

Breathe it out.

Use your breath.

Remind yourself it's not necessary.

I'm not really in danger.

It's just that fear mechanism malfunctioning.

Works when it's not needed.

So you identify where your body is contracting.

Now every time you feel fear,

The body contracts.

It reacts to that fear.

So you identify where it's contracted and you breathe it out.

Breathe it out again and again and again.

You know,

You can remind yourself that the ideas that you have,

Sometimes fear is justified by ideas.

Now this can happen,

That can happen,

You know?

So you identify those thoughts and you choose not to believe them because thoughts have no power.

You can meet a thought and not believe it.

You told me that yesterday.

I did?

Yes.

Remember?

No.

Something about laundry?

Oh,

Yeah.

Please share.

I was doing,

I was encountering the full laundry basket and a thought came into my head.

Why isn't Joran taking this down and doing this laundry?

Why do I have to do this laundry?

Is this my job?

I'm already working.

He's,

You know,

Not doing much and he's got the free time to be able to do it.

Why am I doing this laundry?

And then,

You know,

It was like,

Well,

That was a dumb thought.

And that doesn't make any sense.

And then it just,

You know,

Went away.

And there was no,

It didn't have any,

You know,

Legs or stickiness to it.

You know,

There was just,

Went in one side and out the other.

And that was it.

And then he asked me,

Well,

What was that experience like?

What did you,

What did you,

How did you experience that?

And so I was asking him,

I didn't really understand the questions,

But I was asking him,

You know,

What,

What do you mean?

What,

What was my experience like?

What did I feel?

You know,

What did you say?

Something.

Yeah.

Well,

How was that experience to meet the thought and not believe it?

Yeah.

How was that experience to meet the thought and not believe it?

And I said,

It's nothing.

It was nothing.

It,

It had,

It had no,

Like,

I didn't have any,

There was just nothing.

It was just like,

It was an event.

It went in and left and that was it.

There was no,

I had no emotion.

I had no attachment to it.

There was nothing left.

There was no residue.

There was nothing,

No impression,

No impression.

It was just,

It was just a negative experience,

Like a minus experience or a neutral experience.

Maybe there's a better way to describe it.

It's so beautiful.

You know,

There is so much freedom there.

Wait for you.

If you can meet the phenomena and not identify with it,

You know,

There is this guided meditation called,

I'm not my mind.

Find it on my webpage on Insight Timer.

I am not my mind.

Practice it.

You know,

You will find such great freedom when the capacity to experience an event,

Doesn't matter if it's a thought or believe an opinion or an emotion or a sensation in the body.

To meet that without believing it,

Without identifying with it,

It will just slide away.

It won't stick.

It's so beautiful.

There is so much freedom there.

Don't believe Carly.

Do it.

Do it.

Do it and find out for yourself.

Meet a thought that is trying to drag you into the drama.

Right?

So many thoughts like that you have every day.

If you believe it,

That's it.

You're lost.

You're lost.

Oh,

Come on.

He should be doing more.

I'm a slave.

I'm a victim of circumstances.

When will I be happy?

When he will start to shed.

You know?

Versus,

Oh,

There's a thought and it goes away.

So my acknowledgement in all of that was that,

You know,

Doing the laundry doesn't have a lot of high stakes related to it.

Unless there's a lot of build up,

Like Marcy says right there.

Perpetual thoughts over time build up.

And there's also the,

You know,

Dynamics in a relationship that make things complicated and all kinds of other complications that,

You know,

Layers of things.

So my example of doing the laundry and having a fear of heights,

You know,

Those are quite simple,

Especially fear of heights because,

You know,

The,

You can quickly get down to,

Well,

Obviously I'm afraid of dying,

Right?

If I fall and that's a realistic danger in that situation,

Then I'll die,

You know?

And that's where,

Where do you go from there?

Well,

Why are you afraid of dying?

You can keep going down that rabbit hole.

But when it comes to something,

The example that Marcy gave of grief or an emotional pain,

Those ones are a little bit more,

They feel a little bit more tricky to,

To navigate because what's the physical danger there?

There's no physical danger,

Of course.

That's why it's a,

It's a little bit more difficult to get down to that route.

Emotions,

Sensations,

And thoughts flow through the screen of the mind.

That's what they are supposed to do.

That's an indication that you are still alive.

Trying to manipulate that flow,

Screen those circumstances and only accept the ones that are good and avoiding the ones that are bad is the beginning of your drama,

Of your suffering.

You can choose to stop that.

An awakened consciousness,

If you are truly interested,

Does not screen between various kinds of experiences.

It's open and fresh and all-allowing,

Embracing the present moment as it happens,

Good or bad,

Happy or sad,

Tall or short,

Fat or thin,

Pleasure and pain,

Sweet and sour.

What are the dualities that are out there?

Do you see what I'm saying?

If you truly are interested in rising beyond the drama,

Allowing yourself to embrace life,

Adopt that position.

Adopt it consciously.

It's more important for me to stay open,

To stay soft,

With a full heart and a willing soul.

That's it.

And yes,

Sometimes life can be comfortable and sometimes they can be uncomfortable.

Sometimes they can be horrific.

How do I know?

Because that's life.

Are you there to experience it or are you running away,

Believing,

No,

No,

It's too much?

You dig the hole of depression for you at that moment.

Do you see that?

There are many questions.

So Andrew is telling you that you should probably do the laundry more often.

I promise.

And let's just go back here a little bit.

So Andrew said,

I suffered with poor physical and mental health due to undiagnosed celiac disease and had deep depression for 30 years.

20 years ago I found meditation.

My daily practice has removed the deep struggle,

But I am still not motivated how I could be and stay somewhat isolated.

I don't feel anything like depression I experienced in the past,

But don't know how to make more progress and improve.

Okay.

Thank you for sharing.

I'm happy that you were able to improve in that sense and come back closer to the surface of the water.

Now you're asking me how can you rise out of the water and spread your wing and fly away?

A very good way to step out of depression is taking care of somebody else.

Do Seva.

You remember we spoke about Seva on various occasions.

Adapt this state of mind of service.

I am here for you.

What can I do for you?

Without asking anything in return,

It's not about what you gain out of it.

It's about spreading your love.

Once that energy flow changes its direction from what can life do to me to what I can do for you.

Once that flow of energy changes its direction,

It's very easy to step out of depression.

Depression is all about sucking the energy from life,

Trying to fill a void within.

You know those people that after half an hour you feel just drained.

There is no energy anymore.

They just sucked it all.

Don't be one of those people.

Adopt that attitude of Seva.

This is what I'm here for you.

Tell me,

What can I do?

Even if it's artificial,

It doesn't matter.

You do it every day.

You find a few opportunities for some random acts of kindness.

Once that energy flow is from within outwards,

It will be very easy to come out of depression.

Another thing that is important is to raise the level of prana.

The more prana you have,

The more life energy you have,

The easier it is to come out of depression.

Because depression eats that prana.

That's the fuel of depression.

You don't need to do anything,

But you feel so exhausted.

You don't want to step out of bed.

You don't have the energy to do so.

Why?

Because you're depressed.

So,

Consciously raise that level of prana.

How?

Four recommendations.

You eat the right food.

Don't eat too heavy.

Eat light,

Fresh,

Not too much,

Not too late.

So,

Eat three,

Four regular meals or just about that food.

How much you can hold on with your hands of fresh food as much as possible.

Reduce the meat consumption and eat fresh food.

You know what you need to eat.

If you don't know,

You can go to an Ayurvedic doctor and they will adopt a diet that is right for your system.

But it's important to be aware of what you put in your body.

Avoid the comfort food.

Things that you try to eat to feel better for a few minutes.

Ice cream,

Chocolate,

Whatever.

Don't do that.

Or caffeine,

High sugar drinks.

You know what happens.

Artificially,

The prana goes up and then goes down again.

You want some way of naturally allowing the prana to grow sustainably and stay high.

So,

Just eat what you eat and then how much you rest.

Allow your body to rest as much as it needs,

To sleep as much as it needs.

Not too much,

Not too less.

That's also important.

What else?

Use your breath.

Fill your lungs with air.

Practice breathing techniques.

There are all kinds of yoga breathing techniques that you can find online.

Practice those.

Fill your lungs with air.

Prana is in the air.

Fill your lungs with air.

And when you breathe out,

You breathe out your disappointment,

Your frustration,

Your anger.

Breathe it out.

Like poison,

Let the breath just clear it out of your system.

Do that 10 minutes,

20 minutes every day.

And the fourth thing you can do is a meditative state of mind.

What does it mean?

Meditative state of mind?

You stop arguing.

Stop fighting with life.

Stop that chase of an alternative reality that meets your expectations,

Your demands.

Allow yourself to embrace whatever is,

As is,

When is.

The less you argue,

More prana will become available for you to actually live your life.

Do that.

Remember?

Eat right,

Sleep right,

Breathe right.

Meditative state of mind.

Do that and tell me if that affects your depression.

What do you say?

Who was it?

Angie?

Yep.

Angie.

What else?

I think you're getting a bad reputation here.

Earline said that you told us many times that you love doing the dishes with an open heart and a willing soul,

Watching the bubbles flow.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So if you're not doing enough around the house,

Then how can you possibly love doing the dishes?

I don't love doing the dishes.

I don't love doing the laundry.

Just kidding.

I really,

Truly,

I meant to take the clothes down to the washing machine,

But I just forgot.

I forgot.

I apologize.

It will never happen again.

It's unacceptable.

Michelle said,

I would like more,

You said this earlier,

I would like more sweet in my coffee.

What a cute saying to act as a reminder that it's always our expectation that causes the negative emotion,

Anger,

Frustration.

Yeah.

That's the definition of frustration.

What is frustration?

Is reality doesn't meet my expectations,

My plan,

My idea about what should have happened.

Right?

I have an idea,

Life contradicts it.

Bing!

I'm frustrated.

That frustration builds up,

Untreated,

It turns into anger.

And that anger,

Untreated,

Turns into violence.

Is this the person you want to be?

Ask yourself.

You cannot continue blaming the world,

Blaming the situation,

Blaming the other people about your own frustration,

About your own anger.

Why am I angry?

Because you don't understand.

That's total,

You know,

I'm not supposed to say it on Insight Time.

No,

You take back that responsibility.

You created the gap.

You close the gap.

It's on you.

Question is,

Do you really want to,

Or do you prefer to stay in the position that I am right,

I am just,

I'm going to win this argument.

Then,

Okay,

Good luck.

Um,

Let's go back a little bit to the grief.

So,

Nadine said,

Thank you for talking about such deep ego fear,

And I'm terrified of losing my parents.

They are the strongest anchor of love for me.

I don't know how to prepare for it.

Good question.

Our loved ones are going to be taken away from us.

That's a realization that we try to avoid,

Run away from.

You know,

I've said in the past,

The only reason we are here is to learn one thing,

How to gracefully let go.

Everything will be taken away.

Everything.

Possession,

Money,

Relationships,

Even our body will be taken away.

Everything.

We come here carrying nothing,

And we go away from here carrying nothing.

And the story about Genghis Khan,

You know,

The Mongol conqueror.

It says that when he arrived to India,

He just conquered it in 24 hours.

There was no,

Everybody was shanty.

So,

In the evening when it was time for dinner,

His new servants came with a big plate.

On it was a loaf of bread made out of gold.

He was angry.

What am I supposed to do with that?

And they said,

Listen,

You're Genghis Khan,

The great conqueror.

I mean,

Everybody can eat just bread.

We thought you deserve a loaf of bread made out of gold.

So,

The story says that he immediately realized that whatever he was chasing,

He's not going to get.

And he ordered for all the armies to withdraw back to Mongolia.

And when he died,

He ordered that he will be buried without his treasures.

And back then it was custom to bury the king with all the treasures and the gold and whatever.

So,

He said,

No,

I want to be buried naked with nothing and make sure that my palms are open.

So,

Everybody knew that I left this place with nothing.

It's a beautiful story,

No?

So,

You can protect whatever you think you have with the closed fists,

Making sure life doesn't take it away from you.

I guarantee one of two things will happen.

Either you die or you let go.

Whichever comes first.

And then your fist will be open naturally and you know what you will find there,

Right?

Nothing.

So,

Like the great Rumi once said,

Everything that belongs to you will be taken away.

So,

Why don't you be the one giving it?

Sharing that.

Don't run away from the truth.

That's a part of life.

Don't hold on to whatever it is you're holding on to.

Stature,

Position,

Money.

In this case,

Nectarine is holding on to the love of her parents and the stability and structure that they provided for her.

Love,

Stability,

Structure.

The beautiful thing about that is that never goes away.

That lives within you even after they physically pass.

All of that balance that you are relying on them to provide you while they're living,

Lives on after they die.

We talked about this last night.

There are some things that there's a perceived,

Especially if you're looking to the outside to get that,

There's this perceived notion that if that thing that has provided that for you is taken away,

That everything dies with it.

And now you're left with nothing,

Right?

So,

It's a beautiful statement to realize that that's eventually where everybody's going to land is with nothing.

But in the meantime,

To understand that that's a beautiful way to transition to seeing that you actually have that all within you already.

Even if it takes the death of your beloved parents to get there.

You actually gain something in their passing.

We don't need to stay dependent on circumstances.

The secret doesn't lie in circumstances.

Nothing has to happen out there for us to realize the truth about ourselves.

Everything you hoped to gain will be revealed as your true nature eventually.

But you need to stop looking for it outside.

And it starts with agreeing to experience life.

Whether it's painful or pleasurable.

Whether it's happy or sad.

Because both are there for us to experience.

Including the loss of our loved ones,

Yes.

Don't try to postpone the inevitable.

Embrace it.

Me?

What else?

Don't forget to make the bed.

Thanks.

And then Barbara said,

Humor,

Especially laughing at myself,

Is a tool that has been very helpful to me.

Very good.

And then Marcy said,

In relation to fear of losing the most important people in our lives,

I miss my parents so much and lost my uncle and mentor in the last two months.

I lost my dad seemingly out of nowhere 15 years ago and I couldn't stop crying.

And with my mom I took care of her for four years.

Very different.

Very different ways to lose people in your life.

If they go fast or if you watch that decline over many years.

Very different experiences.

Thank you.

Just don't persuade yourself to believe that one is good and one is bad.

People are born and people die exactly when they are supposed to.

Don't develop a judgmental relationship about that.

And then Angie responded to what you said about her comment.

Thank you.

You're not done at all.

Yes,

Like I said,

The depression was deep.

Now it's barely there because I take care of my diet and meditate daily.

Good.

So you need to add rest and save up.

Losing my dad to cancer caused me deep grief.

My mom had lily bodied dementia but during the years leading up to her death I accepted and found peace with losing her even though it was slow and terrible demise.

But look,

Guys,

What's important here is to allow those situations,

Sad,

Grief,

Allow those situations to be experienced without clinging to them and building an identity around them.

You know,

You can hear people say,

Who are you?

I'm a widower.

When did your husband die?

25 years ago.

That's who I am.

You know,

Don't cling to past events to try to generate an identity for yourself.

That's not how an awakened consciousness works.

It has no identity.

But definitely not related to past events.

Events happen.

They begin and they end.

That's the definition of an event.

Sometimes it's pleasant.

Sometimes it's unpleasant.

Sometimes it's unpleasant,

Desirable,

Undesirable,

Good,

Bad,

Whatever.

They start and they end.

You,

The observer,

Don't belong to that realm.

This is the spiritual awakening.

You don't belong to that realm.

Therefore,

You are not threatened by that realm anymore.

That realm cannot destroy you.

Allow it to touch you.

Allow it to rub against you.

Allow it to scratch you.

Yeah,

This is what you have a body for.

But you are not the body.

The body belongs to the realm of phenomena.

Let it.

Let it rub with life.

Don't be afraid of life.

Don't be afraid of life.

Life cannot destroy who you are.

You are just experiencing life through the body.

That's it.

And it's going to be over very soon.

Judgment day comes.

What do you want to tell yourself?

What do you want to tell the angel Gabriel?

No,

I was in the ditch.

I was in the bunker.

I was hiding.

I didn't really use my opportunity because it was too scary.

That's what you want to tell them?

It was too painful.

So I hide.

I hid.

I manipulated life to avoid the pain,

To cling to the pleasure.

Back you go.

AJ is asking,

Our consciousness already knows these truths,

So who needs the reminders?

The mind?

First of all,

My job is to keep rekindling that memory,

You know,

Because we have a strong tendency to forget.

Who forgets?

The experiencer that is preoccupied with life,

With events and the drama they suggest.

Right?

Completely merged with the drama of life.

Everything that starts and finishes.

Trying to manipulate life,

Avoid.

Completely lost in the movie.

80 year long movie.

And then the movie ends.

Everything turns black.

A bright light opens and you find yourself facing Gabriel,

Who is lovingly asking you,

So how was it?

And you got to say,

Oops.

I was lost.

Sorry.

And you show yourself the way out to go back again and try it all over again.

That's not an issue.

It's not a problem.

But it's never too late to wake up.

I told you,

You either die or you let go.

Both cases,

Your palm will open.

What are you waiting for?

Angie says,

Live in the moment.

Death is waiting.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Both.

Whatever counts.

Good.

And do it full heartedly.

Enough for today?

So,

Thank you very much for joining this session.

Thank you for your awareness,

Your attention,

Your beautiful questions.

Never enough,

AJ says.

Sounds like someone you know.

We love you back and we are waiting for you next week.

I think next week we are going to invite ourselves to talk about God.

What do you think?

I might not be here in proximity to you.

Then we're going to wait for God.

We'll figure it out.

Okay.

Goodbye.

Enjoy the weekend.