Navigating Intense Situations & Difficult Moments

We all know what it's like to experience tense or difficult moments in life. They're not comfortable, you don't feel good inside of your body, there's a lot of tension, there's pressure built up in the chest, maybe in the jaw or in the stomach - this discussion is an invitation to use those moments as opportunities for personal refinement and growth. Learn how your breath and practice of presence can bio-hack you into a state of ease during times of calamity and distress.
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Transcript

We all know what it's like experiencing tense or difficult moments in life.

They're not comfortable.

You don't feel good inside of your body.

There's a lot of tension.

There's pressure built up in the chest,

Maybe in the jaw or in the stomach.

The best thing that we can do in that moment is to find some space to breathe,

To relax,

To get out of the head and get back into the body,

To allow as much space and energy to be present,

To oxygenate the blood,

To slow down and do some deep breathing.

And the truth is,

Is that sometimes we only have seconds to do that.

Sometimes you are right in the middle of a conversation or in an argument or disagreement or something that is a back and forth ping pong kind of a situation.

And you don't seem to feel like there's a lot of room to relax.

But there always is.

There's always some way to relax yourself,

Even if just a little bit.

And you can do that by slowing down your words and slowing down your breath and being really intentional about breathing.

Slow,

Long,

Deep breaths.

And then you can check in right then.

What do I need in this moment to bring myself back to balance?

What do I need right now to be as calm as I can be for me so that I can make the best decisions?

And also so I don't say or do something that I will regret later.

You know yourself well enough to know that when you're upset,

You probably say or do things that you wish you hadn't have done or said.

And that can put you into a whole nother cycle of regret and feeling sad and sorry and all these things,

And it's unnecessary.

So,

As you find yourself in these intense moments,

And you will find yourself there again,

Probably when you are not expecting it,

And other times when you are expecting it because there may be certain people or a person who you interact with on occasion or regularly,

Who triggers you in such a way that this experience comes up.

And it's going to continue to come up until you learn how to interact with the emotions and the situation differently.

How is it going to be different?

Because you have to choose for it to be different.

You have to do something different.

The situations will continue to rise up.

Even after you feel like you've mastered it for a time,

Maybe with an individual.

But it's human nature.

And it's part of this human process that we're going to have tense and challenging situations and moments.

And those moments actually give us an opportunity to grow in a different way.

It doesn't always feel good,

But they are there to serve us and they're also there to reflect back to us,

Maybe some areas that we still need to grow and refine within ourselves.

It's important when you are in those tense or difficult moments that you become more aware of your own projections.

Your projections and perhaps even the way that you blame other people,

The way you might be blaming the person who you are in the disagreement with.

And because you can't sort through all of the ins and outs and do a ton of internal work in the moment that it's really intense,

It's best to use some of these bio hacks and these personality hacks that can help you to navigate the situation as best as you can.

While you are in the fire of it.

So,

Some of the things I mentioned before some of the bio hacks would be taking long deep inhale breaths and fully exhaling full inhale breath to make sure you have lots of oxygen going to your brain and also to your heart and moving through your blood,

So that you can be present and you don't dissociate or you don't check out and,

You know,

Go into some unconscious behaviors,

Such as blaming and just spewing out all kinds of things.

Stay present.

Using long deep breath can help you being quiet,

Being silent.

This is where biting your tongue can sometimes be helpful.

You know,

It's not that you're biting your tongue forever,

You are perhaps staying silent in that moment because what you have to say may not be helpful and could spur more,

More fire or more of an argument.

So be quiet.

Use your breath.

You know,

The situation is going to be different of course.

You need to take care of yourself and make sure that you are safe if you are in a difficult conversation or difficult situation and in the past it's unfortunately turned to violence or you are in a car with somebody who is unpredictable.

So I want to say that you really want to be very mindful of that and and seriously reconsider the relationship if you ever feel in danger or in fear for what might happen,

Especially if somebody is unpredictable and they have been violent towards you or towards themselves or towards someone else in the past.

Taking care of yourself and making sure that you are safe is always the utmost importance.

Take good care of yourself.

Taking good care of yourself is also part of evaluating and assessing the situation that you're in.

And you're going to be able to do that better.

When you can breathe.

So use your breath.

Slow down.

Look around you notice that you're safe notice that you're that you're fine that your feet are on the ground or that you're sitting down.

And that what you can control is your emotional internal state.

If you can remove yourself long enough,

Or even for a while until you have calmed down or the other person or people have calmed down then do that.

Rest.

Rest your eyes,

Let your body,

Start to recalibrate.

If you've removed yourself,

Then remove yourself.

Be where you are.

Allow yourself to be calm,

Even if just for a few minutes.

Use your breath.

Be where you are,

Don't let your mind wander back to the situation or wander somewhere else be where you are,

So that you can restore and recalibrate your energy field.

Use your breath.

The personality hack that I was referring to is,

Be aware of your own judgments.

Be aware of your defense mechanisms.

If you have a moment of intense conversation or something difficult that's happening.

We want to protect ourselves and protection usually comes in some form of defense.

If you have a moment of intense conversation or something difficult that's happening.

You're not going to be in that intense moment.

So be aware of that.

When you are calm,

Be aware and acknowledge,

This is how I show up when I am in intense situations.

Be aware.

If you are a person who name calls or even throws things or does something like that,

Be aware and acknowledge to yourself when you are in a calm state of mind,

Acknowledge the truth of your behaviors,

And how it affects people and yourself.

And when you are calm,

Write down how you want to show up.

Start making a plan about how you ideally want to respond when you are in an intense situation.

And this way,

You're starting to reprogram your brain.

And so,

Even if,

Let's say you get into an intense situation.

And maybe you start,

You know,

You start off working with your plan initially,

And then it gets too hard to maintain,

And then you default back into what might feel good,

Or like a temporary relief,

Which for you could be yelling or blaming your name calling or shutting down or running away or whatever it is that your default mechanism is and your defense mechanism is.

Just be aware.

And just acknowledge to yourself,

Oh,

There I go again,

Trying to do the thing that will make me feel better right now,

Although it may not be what is most helpful.

And as soon as you bring that awareness in,

Try again to stop,

Pause.

Just go inside and breathe.

Ask the person or the people who you're with to excuse you as you take some space for yourself.

Maybe you go take a walk.

Maybe you go sit down somewhere,

Somewhere in nature if it's possible,

Or go lay down.

But intentionally take space for yourself to recalibrate.

This is different than running away or avoiding a situation.

This is intentionally creating space so that you can come back to homeostasis into more of a centered,

Calm state of being.

You may have to do this numerous times,

Over and over and over again.

Don't give up.

Just keep doing the best that you can and do a little better every time.

Every time.

The more you do this,

The stronger your neuroplasticity gets around this new way of being that you are deciding to be.

You are going to be able to recalibrate your energy much faster.

You're going to have less damage done to relationships when you are in an intense situation or a difficult conversation.

And it really is going to be overall better for you,

First of all,

But also everyone else involved.

So take good care of yourself.

Continue to meditate.

Practice staying present.

Do the one thing that you are doing while you are doing it.

All of these things will help you to best navigate intense situations and difficult moments.

I love you.

Reviews

Very helpful in so many ways. I will definitely be returning to listen. I definitely recommend listening; this track is unique in that it has meditative aspects mixed with helpful insight. I didn’t feel I had to be in a meditative position. It led me to connect to my breath and feel more grounded so I could “hear” , once in a more peaceful space. This helped me consider many ways to reconnect differently than the ways which have not helped in the past, other than to have helped temporarily. 🙏🏼

Very helpful information. Deep breathing and journaling has changed my life. I have gone no contact with the people who caused stress in my life. Thank you

Nice! Thank you so much 😊

Well worth listening to-Thanks!

Much needed, brilliant delivery, well received, thank you 🙏

Thank you so much for this wonderful guidance! It took me from a place of feeling overwhelmed to a more calm, manageable space of hope. ❤️

Thank you for the practical applications and bio-hacks 🙏🏻💜