What Season Are You In?
"To everything there is a season...". What season do you find yourself in? How are you relating with this change? Sometimes we welcome the seasonal transitions of our lives. Sometimes we are confused or frustrated by them. In this talk we explore this theme and how it can be challenging. The talk is followed by a 20 minute guided meditation. References: Poem: Lost by David Wagoner Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Transcript
You may be familiar with this Bible verse.
I don't quote the Bible very often,
But it's applicable to the talk today.
To everything,
There is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to break down and a time to build up.
A time to weep and a time to laugh.
A time to mourn and a time to dance.
A time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together.
A time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing.
A time to get and a time to lose.
A time to keep and a time to cast away.
A time to rend and a time to sew.
A time to keep silence and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate.
A time of war and a time of peace.
So just giving some thought to maybe the time you're in in your life at this moment.
The season.
We all go through seasons of our lives and in this being Labor Day weekend and kind of the gateway into fall,
Although fall doesn't officially begin for a couple of weeks.
And in Texas doesn't really begin for maybe another month.
For being honest.
If we're lucky,
It will begin in another month.
But it being that sort of ceremonial gateway,
Societally,
We have sort of ceremony almost of Labor Day weekend and we have parties and maybe we're at the lake.
Maybe we're camping.
Maybe we're going to someone's house for a barbecue.
All of these sorts of things are rituals that we participate in in our society that issue in a new time.
And it's the same within our own lives,
In our own inner lives.
May find ourselves in a particular place in our life where we're like,
You know,
Recognize it as this is a time of joy and celebration in my life.
Celebrating things that I have accomplished or times that I have come through.
Maybe we're moving out of the dark time in our life.
Or maybe we're moving into a solitary period.
Maybe it's the season of wintering in a sort of way,
Right?
Where we're going inward more.
We're turning our attention into our inner world and listening more.
Maybe it's a season of observation,
Of being still but observing from the inside out.
So it can be in many different sort of seasons in our own lives.
Places where we really begin to observe.
Okay,
Where am I?
Mindfulness meditation is really great for this because it encourages us to begin to take that awareness off the cushion and into our everyday lives.
I found in my own experience,
There are times when we're moving into a new phase of life,
A new place of being in our lives,
A new way of being.
Sometimes there can be some pushback.
We don't think we're ready for it and we don't understand the transition.
We can maybe feel some tension between what the outer world expects of us and what the inner world needs of us.
And the outer world often wins,
You know?
And for good reason in some cases.
We need to make a living.
And for good reason in some cases.
We need to make a living.
We have to maintain relationships.
So all of these things,
It's not necessarily a bad thing.
But when we neglect the transition to an inner focus,
It can cause bigger problems for our outer lives.
So we may,
If we're moving into an inner place,
A place of stillness and listening and retreating,
Really,
But in a more inner way,
We might find it's a relief.
Oh,
Finally,
I need this as a form of self-care for myself.
I need to listen.
I have been ignoring myself.
I haven't been listening to my voice for so many years.
It can also be something that we resist.
For whatever reason.
Or we can feel both at the same time.
That's really hard,
Right?
Like,
Oh,
I want it and yes,
I need it,
But also I'm feeling this resistance to it because of my outer life.
And that becomes almost the practice that how do we hold both?
This sort of frenetic tension,
This vibration,
Almost the magnetism,
Right,
Between the two that is both pulling toward each other and rejecting,
That's a hard place to be.
So in committing to our practice,
We are maintaining an invitation,
An invitation to asking,
What is the season I'm in now?
Where am I in this moment?
How am I being with it?
And that can tell us everything we need to know and how we need to move forward.
Last week,
I spoke about listening and silence and how that silence creates the container,
Really.
It allows us to develop a deep listening within ourselves.
And that goes hand in hand with,
We're not allowing the container to open and develop that deep listening.
It's really difficult for us to know where we are,
What season of our life we're in,
And in so knowing what we need to give ourselves.
I've found right now in the season of my life,
I am turning inward and also frustration about that because I feel like I've been turning inward for years now,
How am I still needing to turn further inward?
And so that's the practice for me,
Turning inward,
Allowing the space,
Stop reading the books.
There's no more books that can tell me anything that I need to know.
All the wisdom I need now is from inside.
But I also have this outer life I have to live.
I have work that always takes me out of that.
It's a different energy.
That tension,
Not the work,
The tension between those two things is really what's causing me the pain.
So the question then becomes,
What do I do with the tension?
If I continue relating to the tension in the same way I've been relating to it,
It just causes more problems because it forces me to choose.
It becomes a duality.
It's either work or inner life.
They can't coexist.
It forces me to make a choice between these two things.
But what I really need to do is allow them to coexist.
And that's where that tension comes in because that tension,
Often when we experience a tension like that,
It's uncomfortable and we don't have the skills to deal with it.
And that's why we may resist it.
We may make a choice when the choice is not what we need,
But to hold both is what we need.
So it's really important to be able to recognize those things in the recognition of,
Oh,
Okay,
It's not that I want to go completely 100% inward and live in a little cabin in the forest and be like the little old lady that chases everybody away.
It's not that I wanna choose that and I can't.
Or it's not that I have to choose work so that means I can't go inward.
What really it is is that I don't know how to hold both.
So how do we create space that allows us to hold both?
I don't know the answer.
I'm telling you,
I'm finding it now.
It's a path now for me.
And we all come up against something along these lines at some point in our lives.
So we begin to notice,
It's the tension that I'm having the trouble with.
So we sit with the tension.
We go onto the cushion when we're feeling it,
Move whatever we need to move out of the day because we need to learn from this tension.
So we go onto the cushion,
We invite the tension and we sit with it.
What happens?
We get to know it.
We get to know it.
It becomes less scary.
It becomes familiar.
Our body begins to understand it in a somatic way and we can begin to build our resilience around allowing it to be there.
We let go of the rejection.
We notice our tendency to reject it but we make the choice to not reject it.
We make the choice to say,
Okay,
I'm gonna be here with you.
What do you have to teach me?
And we learn from it.
What we all learn is different but it will absolutely teach us something.
I'll let you know when I learn from it.
But it does.
It teaches us how we are when we are faced with something we don't want.
It teaches us what our body is telling us when we're feeling the things that maybe make us uncomfortable or we want to run away from.
So it's very insightful to show us further,
Allow us to learn further who we really are,
What our inner life experience really is.
And we're always taught to run.
Almost always.
Reject it.
Distract yourself.
Go have a drink.
Pick up your phone.
If you don't feel good,
Then there's something wrong.
That's the message we get from society.
You should always be happy.
So there's something wrong with you if you feel something uncomfortable.
No,
That's not it at all.
Your message is trying to teach you something.
But all the messages can teach you anything if you won't slow down,
If you won't stop and listen to it,
If you don't create the space for it to teach you.
And so that's what we do on The Cushion.
We're creating a formal space and then we're able to become more aware in our daily lives to when these things come up.
Oh,
I remember this from my meditation.
Ah,
Interesting.
It came up when I was in this situation.
Interesting.
You know,
We're not analyzing it,
But we're opening that intuitive space to let it tell us what it wants to tell us.
So let's go ahead and have a sit.
I invite you in this moment to come into a posture that is supportive for you today where you feel dignified and alert,
But also at ease with your eyes either closed or soft gaze in front of you a couple feet.
Again,
By taking in three deep inhales and exhales at your own pace.
Breathing fully with a belly expansion,
A deep belly breath on the inhale.
Allowing the air to fully inhabit your body,
Your lungs.
Soaking in and bringing an ease and relaxation to the muscles in your body.
Allowing the breath to fall into its natural rhythm without forcing the rhythm of the breath,
Without controlling it,
Making it be any way other than how it will be.
Becoming aware of the sensations within the body.
The feeling of the solidness of your bones and muscles,
Anchoring you to the floor in this room in this moment.
Becoming aware of how your body moves in sync with the breath.
A sort of dance,
Partnership.
Becoming aware of the muscles in the face and in the neck.
Noticing if you're holding any tension,
Even if subtly.
Noticing if you're letting go of any tension.
Noticing if you're holding any tension,
Even if subtly.
And if so,
Allowing yourself to relax the muscles on the exhale.
Allowing any of the physical sensations within the body that feel prominent to you to be the place where you rest the awareness.
Place of home and refuge within your body.
This presence reminds you of being fully aware in this moment.
If you notice that something takes you away from the anchor in the body,
Just acknowledge it.
Give it a neutral label,
Something like thinking,
Planning,
Rumination,
Sound,
Whatever it may be.
Just gently touching it with acknowledgement,
Letting it be there without getting caught in it.
And gently guiding the awareness back into the body without judgment.
Letting it resettle in the present.
As you continue to notice when you've left and gently bring yourself back into the present.
Allow yourself to also notice the quality of your awareness.
If it's calm,
If it's restless,
If it's fractured,
Whatever it may be.
Just notice it.
Cultivating a quality of invitation.
Allowing yourself to open to whatever experience arises,
Whatever wants to be known to you without analyzing it,
Without putting it into the brain,
Just allowing the body to have a sense of open invitation.
As you sit connected with the anchor in the body,
Allowing whatever needs to arise to do so.
Noticing as you are cultivating the open space within the silence,
Your awareness.
When you are taken away,
Giving it a label and gently bringing the awareness back into the body.
Softening,
Opening,
Allowing.
As we come into the final moments of this meditation,
I invite you,
If it feels right for you,
To place your hand on your chest over your heart.
Sensing the tenderness of this gesture,
The warmth shared between the hand and the body.
Taking in one deep inhale and exhale.
And offer yourself gratitude.
Gratitude for listening,
For clearing space to just be,
To invite,
To be.
To invite,
Soften.
Close out this meditation with this poem by David Wagner called Lost.
Stand still.
The trees ahead and the bushes beside you are not lost.
Wherever you are is called here.
You must treat it as a powerful stranger.
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes.
Listen.
It answers,
I have made this place for you.
If you leave it,
You may come back again,
Saying,
Here.
No two trees are the same to raven.
No two branches are the same to wren.
If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost.
Stand still.
The forest knows where you are.
You must let it find you.
When you're ready,
You're welcome to open your eyes and come into the room.
I'm going to ask you to close your eyes.
Close your eyes.
